Do you think a big to do should be made about a teen Mom? I have seen many people I know who have teen-age children who are having children. I just can't understand the "excitement" over it.

Don't get me wrong, a new baby is very exciting, but, I can't help but think what a difficult life is ahead for this new "family".

What are your thoughts on this?

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

Many years ago my husband's cousin had a daughter who was expecting her first child at the age of 16. I was amazed at how happy his cousin was. She acted like this was just the greatest thing that could happen. I remember standing there with my mouth hanging open thinking that I wanted more for my daughter than to struggle with a newborn at 16. Amazingly enough this girl and the baby daddy went on to get married and have 4 more children and are still together and appear to be happy.

And I think his cousins reaction stemmed from the fact that she'd had her first child at 17. To me, that would've been a lesson in what NOT to want for your own daughter.

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my niece got pregnant at 16. We weren't thrilled.
However, at some point you have to let go of the disappointment, anger, hurt, etc. And celebrate the birth of a innocent life.

And hope and pray that lessons are learned.

My niece struggled, but it made her a better person. She eventually met and married a man w/ two daughters (their 3 kids are close in age) And she is a great momma to her son, and her daughters. Yes, she feels like those girls are hers!

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

This is such a complex issue. My young grand niece recently gave birth. What I see on her FB is all of her teem mom friends telling her what a great mommy she is and isn't it so wonderful. I think, if it happens deal with it. But to constantly be fed sugar a spice is not reality. This is a very hard path these girls face and I just don't see the realization of that. Just teen mommies planning play dates and coffee dates and talking about how of course they can't work because they can't imagine leaving their children. No reality, that is for sure.

I did not attend her shower. I knew that I would not be able to keep my mouth shut with all the teens and their babies oohing and ahhing over all the cute clothes, etc. Plus....I was out of town. lol

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Melissa

I too have watched this show with my dd 19 a few times. She has told me so much times, omg Mom I could never imagine being in that suituation. I am on the fence with this show, while I sincerely hope and pray it is a real eye opener for those teenagers who think they cannot get pregnant and that all it takes is one time. On the same note I also feel it is just another reality show and are teenagers really listening and learning something. That having a child at their age is no joke and it is not a doll and it will effect you for the rest of your life??. Peace. Catherine

I was a teen mom. I was 19, in an abusive relationship and found myself pregnant. I knew that the baby I was carrying was my responsibility and also knew I would be raising the baby on my own. My family helped a little..were they overly thrilled..NO not at all. The only reason I had a baby shower was because a friend's mother, who was like a mother to me and later turned into one of my best friends threw a small shower for me. She said it wasn't to "celebrate" me being a young mom, but to celebrate a new life. I worked two jobs to provide for me and my DS. Where ever I went (with the exception of work) my DS was with me, and when I did go to work, I paid my parents/brothers to watch him. I never received child support, WIC or any type of assistance, I did it all on my own until he was 2 years old. When he was 2, I married my ex-DH who, I have to give credit to, he married me and adopted my DS. All while we were dating though, he treated my DS as if he were his, till this day, my DS has no idea that my ex-DH is not his father.
On Sunday that baby boy will be 19 years old

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~~~~**Maryann**~~~~

I just got a firm grip on reality....
Now I can strangle it

That is pretty much how I feel. It is all over the place, and the teen moms support each other and say how great it is, and the friends of the parents say "congratulations....being a Grandmom is so GREAT....welcome to the club" etc. , etc. It is just such a hard road to travel for all involved. I don't see the thrill of that, not to mention the whole aspect of the fact that the parents had to have sex to create the baby. NO ONE should be having sex at such a young age.....WTH???

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

DD has a friend that she has known since jr high school get pregnant in their senior year of high school (this past school yr). DD was very disappointed in the choices that the friend made and couldn't bring herself to actively support this friend. The friend couldn't figure out why people were talking about her. DD didn't completely abandon the friend and did attend the baby shower. The friend now has mostly other teen moms or teens that are expecting as her friends. Still yet, the pregnant and/or teen moms just don't get why their friends aren't the same as before the baby.

What you feel and say at home are probably not what you say and feel in front of "others". My neighbor, an ultra strict, very religious, mother of 4, just told me her daughter got pregnant this summer and married a few weeks after telling her parents. The girl is in college in Nebraska and called home to tell her mom that she was pregnant. I would have liked to have been a fly on the wall for than announcement.

I could tell that telling me was difficult but she put on a happy face and so did I and we both talked about the fun of becoming grandmothers. We are not close and I have always had the impression that she was only nice to us because her religion expected her to be. Her son is the same age as my grandson and I think they would be best friends if she would allow it. They are good friends in spite of her. We've lived next door to them for at least 6 years now and it was only in the last few months that her son was even allowed to enter our house.

But I digress, (as usual). Her daughters pregnancy announcement had to have tested her and her ability as a parent. But she rolled with it, accepted it, (unless she wants to lose daughter and grandchild she has to do that), and for the world is being cheerful and gracious.

The funny thing is not so many generations ago, for some of us grandparents, having children young was the normal thing to do. Of course they got married first. Back then teens were considered adults, they acted like adults, and they had adult responsibilities. Now, teens are basically older children instead of young adults. I know we're living somewhat longer but somehow things changed. The industrial revolution, women's lib? I'm not sure.

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.

Where are you getting your data? I googled around a bit and everything I see indicates that women in 1900 married at around 22. Not teenagers.

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If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we've got to acknowledge that He commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition, and then admit that we just don't want to do it.

- Stephen Colbert.

Anecdotal, family etc. My family came from Europe. 22 is not much older than a teenager. I had my son at 21 and I was ill prepared.

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.

Wildwood first off your neighbor does not seem like a nice neighbor and kinda reminds me and what my mom would always say, do not talk ill againist anyone, because it can happen to you right in your own back yard. In other words oh no not my dd she will never get pregnant before getting married, you never no and can never say for 100 percent what will happen. From your post I am dearly sure she was not happy about her daughter having a baby in college.....Peace. Catherine

I'm sure she was, and is not happy, but she is coming around and her husband is a much lighter gentler personality who will be much more accepting and I suspect she will follow his lead in being happy and accepting. In fact, once she sees and holds the baby, nothing else will matter. Right now, she is still feeling the sting of what she probably perceives as a failure and embarrassment, either hers or her daughters. As for being not "nice", I'm not so sure about that. She is who she is, as are all of us, and I take people as they are, (up to a point), particularly those who live near me. There is not too much worse than being in the middle of a neighborhood feud, particularly when there are children who want to play with each other.

I've been trying to remember, harder to do as I get older, about my group of friends. We were teens back in the late fifties and early sixties. There were 9 of us who ran around together. If I remember right, only one was pregnant when she got married and she was 24 at the time. Three I lost touch with after high school, but at that time there was no talk of marriage or pregnancy. I would have heard about it, even if I was not in direct contact. One got married at 19 right out of high school, but she had an alcoholic and abusive father and did what she had to to escape. Two got married when they were about 20, not pregnant. Another got married at 22, the only one that at that time had finished college and also not pregnant. And I was second to last at age 23, not pregnant either.

I went to a large, (by that days standards) high school and there were rumors about girls I didn't know, but only one or two during my four years there. But you are right about us being considered adults. I don't feel like I was was an adult, and that may be why the succeeding generations tend to not treat their kids as adults, they remember themselves at that age. It might also have been the economic class we were in. Working class people want their kids to be self sufficient faster perhaps than the ones who can afford to keep housing their children until they are ready to move on.

My father would have supported me forever if I'd wanted or needed it. But my brother was expected to become an independent person as soon as possible. It was never talked about, but I knew what was expected, as did my brother. In the same vein, my father was willing to help with college for my brother, but not for me. He would take care of me but not educate me. Part of that was economics, part his way of thinking. He couldn't afford to help us both, and my brother was going to have to make a living to support his family and would do better with the degree. Since I was supposed to get married, I would be my husbands problem. That last sentence is one I lived up to.

Wildwood I agree once the baby arrives and your neighbor will hold that precious life in her arms, her feelings will change.....Peace. Catherine

I usually just lurk here but had to post as this was relevant: my 15 year old son brought home a computer-printed baby shower invitation from one of his classmates today.

I was/am speechless.

Mom2RandD..........all I can say is "wow". The thing is, some of these "grandmothers" are no more mature than the mommy's and daddies to be. There is just no understanding that these babies are future adults. Actually....that explains a lot, doesn't it???

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Melissa

Being pregnant at 15 and sending out any form of annocements, is something I would never do.....While my youunger dd was in 10th grade a girl had a baby, she is almost 20 now and she has a 5 year old child, the father at the time was 23.......I would have had him arrested, the mother was so proud, she painted her dd's belly and posted pictures on fb, again shaking my head, there is no way I would be happy and never would I be posting pictures and never would I let a 23 year old man who made my 15 pregnant walk free..While I am liberal I am liberal to a point and this suituation goes well above what I deem normal ......peace to all.....Catherine

That's enough to make you cry!

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I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!