This is today's Borowitz Report. Could not figure out how to link it, so I just copied and pasted. I find most of his stuff amusing, but this one really made me laugh.

Berlusconi Steps Down; Will Run National Restaurant Association
‘A Dream Job for Me,’ Says Italian PM

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – Showing the resiliency that has frustrated foes throughout his storied career, Silvio Berlusconi today stepped down as Italian Prime Minister and assumed the helm of the National Restaurant Association.

“This is a dream job for me,” Mr. Berlusconi told reporters as he settled into his new offices in Washington. “I love working with people and I intend to be very hands-on.”

Mr. Berlusconi won the coveted position after beating out several rivals, including former International Monetary Fund chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn.

“I must admit I am envious of Silvio,” Mr. Strauss-Kahn said. “There isn’t a red-blooded man alive who wouldn’t want to run the National Restaurant Association.”

But even as he settled into his new post, Mr. Berlusconi served notice that there were going to be big changes ahead for the trade association: “I’ve taken a look at the employees, and they’re way too old.