My 19 year old daughter lost a good friend in a car accident 2 days ago. She lost control of her car on icy roads, slid into oncoming traffic and was hit on the drivers side door. She was taken from us in the blink of an eye....just a freak accident, no drinking, etc. We are all very very sad--she was a smart, strong, beautiful woman, very sweet and caring. She often stayed over at our house, the girls cheered together, studied together, etc. My daughter is very upset, hasn't slept much in the past couple days, she has good moments, then totally breaks down. The funeral is Tuesday, this is the second one in two years--she lost a young man from her HS class (90 kids in her class) when they were 17 due to an unknown heart conditiion. That funeral was hard, but this one will be much harder!

Since I have been a member here for a long time, I know some of you have been thru some tough times. Any tips on helping her cope? I have been trying to be there for her, lots of hugs and cuddles. I am just sad seeing my daughter in so much pain, I wish I could say something or do something to help her.

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"It's not about how much baggage you have, it's about whether or not you can carry your own baggage with grace and dignity."

The only thing I could offer, is what you are already doing. Just be there for her when she wants to talk and hugs, if she wants them. If they were that close, it will probably take a long, long time for her to get over it. Hopefully, as time goes by the heartache will ease. I guess you will be going to the funeral with her. This happened to my daughter once, and she ask me to go along, even though I hadn't really known the person, but I went.

If she's up to it, she might want to prepare a "Moments" board to display at the funeral. Pictures of them both and also with her family members if she has them. Or maybe a time-line type album for people to look at. As she goes through their lives together it will give her a chance to reflect on the good times and a way to share that love of her friend with others. I'm thinking it might be wise for one of you to clear this with the family first. But even if she doesn't do this, just looking at the pictures might bring her some peace.

part of the grieving process is crying and being sad. You may just need to give her an opportunity to do that.
I'm not advocating letting her wallow, but she may need to have time.

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

I am so sorry to read this. It makes me so sad to hear when young ones, in particular, pass away.
This is going to take time to heal and there will be many weeks of grief and sadness. There is no explanation as to why this happened. I would go to the funeral with her for support. Just be there for her. Maybe you and your daughter can sit down and put together a photo album of the two girls over the years. So sorry your young daughter has to deal with all this sadness.

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I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

Something that has helped me and I always suggest to others; listening to the favorite music of someone you have lost has always brought me comfort. Maybe she could put together a collection of her friend's favorite songs for herself and to share with others.

Thank you for all the thoughts, prayers and good ideas. The visitation and funeral were today....all went well--nice Catholic service. It was good for my daughter to get out and be with her friends and former classmates. They all cried and laughed and cried and laughed. Almost like when Steph was alive and they would laugh so hard they cried or peed their pants! Many good memories, some naughty memories that us mommies didn't know about--nothing too bad, just sleeping out in tents and sneaking off swimming or to knock on boys windows, etc etc.

She and her friends went through stacks of pics, she has notes from Steph from school and is talking about putting together a memory book.

Oh, and they just left to get matching tattoos on their ankles. Evidently, Steph used to doodle rosebuds on everything so that is what they are getting.

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"It's not about how much baggage you have, it's about whether or not you can carry your own baggage with grace and dignity."

I'm so sorry for your loss. I guess the best thing is to be there just to listen and comfort her and show her how much she is loved.

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.