My boyfriend's grandmother is turning 90 in a few weeks, and although the woman does not like me because I am not Spanish, and his family is good for nothing, I felt that this is a big milestone, I don't have any relatives who lived to be more than 77. At first I wanted to make her a photo book of pictures of her grandchildren and great-grandchildren, but his brothers would not cooperate and send me some pictures that I could have used, as I only have about 3 pictures and they are of only 4 of her 7 great grandchildren, and I was not making a photo book of pictures of just my boyfriend, besides he has no baby pictures of himself
So instead I made her a basket with pajamas, slippers, those warm fuzzy socks, flavored hot chocolate, some single serve cookie packs, candy, a coffee cup and a plastic cup with handle (she needs the handle because otherwise she drops things) Can anyone think of anything else I could add or things that I should/should not include? She lives alone and has a home care attendant that stays with her 24/7 and we are the only ones doing anything for her for her special day because as I have previously said his family is basically worthless. TIA for any suggestions

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~~~~**Maryann**~~~~

I just got a firm grip on reality....
Now I can strangle it

I think that is very thoughtful and wonderful ~ how sweet of you to shower her on her birthday!

I can't think of anything else to add.

If she takes a bath, how about bath salt or beads. Maybe some body lotion.
Judy

That sounds like a wonderful basket that she would love. I wouldn't add anything else. If you give her a gift that is over-the-top you may look like you are trying to buy her approval .... and you could make the other relatives a little miffed if you give her a gift that is much better than theirs. It's a fine line.

I think it's wonderful that you are giving her such a thoughtful gift.

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Mary

Is she Spanish from Spain or Spanish from some other country, or an American Spanish descendant? If she is an immigrant from Spain, you might find out what area of Spain and if there are any specialty food items from that area that she might enjoy. Many old people remember the past better than they do what they had for lunch yesterday and it might bring back memories of her childhood with the right piece of cheese or the right candy or pastry. Also if she came through Ellis Island there might be documents and photos on their site of her and whoever came with her.

I think your basket is very nice. She might not like it, but you tried and that's what counts. Some other thoughts for future gifts might be a lap robe, small flag of her nationality, or a very soft stuffed animal if she's getting a little dotty. I once got my husbands grandmother a slightly smaller than life size kitty that would drape across her lap. She loved that cat. She would sit and stroke it. When you get that age, baths are probably no longer easy to do, your taste buds are different and sweets taste better than some other flavors, sometimes hearing is going as well as eyesight, so tactile things, sweet things, and things that bring back memories are always good.

OP it sounds like a nice gift, I would definitely run it past your bf first and see what he thinks.

& yes as ww metioned "Spanish" when used to describe a person means they are from Spain...a native of Spain, born in Spain, or it could be someone from another country who has become a citizen of Spain. So if the family has nothing to do with Spain they could be offended by being called Spanish. Or at least, they would consider it incorrect....kinda like saying we are all English on this board because we speak English kwim

Maryann it sounds like a very thoughtful gift. I would also suggest what wildwood said about finding something specifically from her region.

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.

Nice Gift...How about hugs, love and kisses....his grandma might be cranky but she is also a lonely old woman.

Thank you everyone for your responses I am hoping she likes it



Dnj, none of his other relatives are doing anything. that is why I wanted to make it a little extra special. Initially when I had the idea for a photo book, my boyfriend thought it was a good idea and we were going to make it of her great-grandchildren and a few current pictures of him and his brothers because they have no baby pictures of themselves (that is a long story) and when he asked his brothers for pictures of the kids, they both said no that they didn't want to participate because they felt it was worthless because in their words "how much longer can she live. It's just something that we will have to throw out anyway" I know the one thing that would truly make her happy would be for her son (and only child, who is my boyfriend's father) to visit. But he won't (I can not put on here my true feelings for that man cause the words I would use would probably get me banned ) He is only a few blocks away from her but doesn't call or visit because she has nothing left. The man is a freeloader and from what I have been told by her, my boyfriend and his brothers he stole a lot from her when her husband died and once the money ran out, he stopped visiting. A few years ago when she was rushed to the hospital, I was there when the hospital called him since he was her next of kin listed on some papers she had and he told the nurse " I don't have time for this, call her 92 year old sister, she has been her sister longer than i've been alive" and he hung up. He then proceeded to call my boyfriend and his brothers to yell and ask why they let the hospital bother him.
It's a sad situation, one that I don't ever think I will ever figure out because although my family is a bit dysfunctional, I can not imagine me, my brothers or my father ever treating my grandma the way that they treat her. Thankfully after almost 5 years I broke my boyfriend from that mold and turned him onto my family's way of thinking

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~~~~**Maryann**~~~~

I just got a firm grip on reality....
Now I can strangle it

I'm not sure I should bring this up, but there is a chance that she is just a royal bit**. If none of them like her, there might be a good reason. So don't get your hopes up that she will respond nicely. Keep us posted.

I just wanted to give you an update....well it went better than I had expected. She got it and was surprised, she said we were the only ones who did anything for her birthday.

__________________
~~~~**Maryann**~~~~

I just got a firm grip on reality....
Now I can strangle it

That's great. I was hoping for at least a cordial response and it looks like you got that. You should be proud that you did such a nice and thoughtful thing.

Yes Maryann you did a wonderful thing. Too bad nobody else was as considerate as you are.

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.