OK, a little background on my situation. I have 8 kids. When it comes to buying Christmas we have always given each child 1 gift to open on Christmas eve (always new pajamas-swaddling clothes) and 3 gifts to open on Christmas morning (because of the 3 gifts from the Wise men).

There have been a lot of changes around our home this past year. My oldest is a senior in high school. He is seventeen years old, however, he has gotten married and they have had a baby all in the past year. Since he is still only 17, I sort of feel like I should buy for him like I always have. But, he has a wife and child so I feel like I should buy for all 3 of them equally. As my children grow and start having their own families I imagined they would develop their own traditions and I would no longer give them gifts symbolic of the first Christmas, but would instead give them and their family members 1 or 2 gifts each.

Basically, I am wondering what other people do once their children grow up and move out on their own. How does your gift giving change once your children are married with children?

You didn't mention, does your son and his family live in your home- or are they on their own?
Being 17 and married with a new baby can't be easy- (Being 32 and married with a new baby is hard too!)


I think your idea of giving like the first Christmas is really neat! But if he is living on his own with his wife and baby, maybe you can give them things they could use as a family? Furniture for their apartment, a shopping trip to Costco to fill their freezer, etc.

Once I got married, my mom stopped giving me the personal things like socks and underwear. She started giving my husband and I gifts for OUR household and family. She still gives us each a personal gift, like an ornament with our names on it, etc.

They don't live with me, but they live with my mom. She is disabled and needed someone there at night. Mom goes to an adult daycare center during the day. My daughter-in-law does most of the cleaning and my son does the cooking in exchange for staying there. He likes to cook, and I taught him well. She is very organized and keeps the place tidy, but she can't cook at all. He will be 18 in February and then they plan to get their own place.

At that age with those responsibilites, I would say buy as much as you can to help them out..maybe gas cards, grocery cards, etc? Or buy for the baby..new clothes, etc. good luck

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Sounds like a win win situation. I wish them the best of luck with their future. Marriage can be so difficult at any age but at 17 I can't help but think he's just a baby himself. Of course, he'd argue the point because that's part of being 17. LOL
For gifts there have to be things they need for themselves seeing that they'll be setting up their own household soon. Perhaps cookware since he likes to cook and something pretty for their bedroom to give to her because that stuff usually means more to girls. Sheets? Picture frames? I don't know..... I'm not much good at gift giving unless I'm given a list of wants and needs.

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I dont think carrying on your traditions is wrong at all. I think buying him his Christmas eve pj's is still a great idea just make sure to buy her some too and the baby. As for the Christmas gifts maybe instead of his usual 3 gifts make them 3 joint gifts for them. Things for them to use together like resteraunt gift cards,board games,new cookbook,movie tickets and a free night of babysitting etc... When DH and I got married we combined both our Christmas traditions and came up with some new ones of our own.

I don't buy them as much at Christmas as when they lived at home. This year DD is in another state I just mailed their packages today, I try to get a couple of personal gifts and a gift they can both use. This year she is getting a Madame Alexander doll (she collects dolls), lip gloss and candles, and Godiva chocolate and coffee (they can both use this). Her DH is getting Addidas cologne (his favorite), a shirt and 3 DVD's (they can both use this). Then my other DD and her BF that live here: she is getting Baby Phat perfume, lip gloss and lotion and Godiva chocolate and coffee (they can both use this) and a Yankee candle and towels for the house. Her BF is getting a Nautica gift set, 3 DVD's (they can both use this) and a big bag of snacks and candy (they can both use this). The grandkids will get clothes and a toy. I don't really worry about getting the same amount of gifts for each or spending the same amount of money as I do trying to get something that they really want or I know they will really like or something they really need. I do spend more on my own kids than on their sig others though, that may not be fair, but oh well, that is how I do it.

I Think The Pj's Tradition Should Stay For The 3 Of Them. Maybe 1st Christmas Pjs For The Baby And Coordinating Ones For The Parents. Being So Young They Probably Won't Buy Personal Items For Themselves Especially With The Baby.
Maybe A Gift Certificate To A Grocery Store Or As Others Have Posted Something Pretty For The House.
I Think A Gift Certificate For A Restaurant (doesn't Need To Be Expensive) And Movie Passes With A Babysitter Certificate Would Be Nice To Let Them Get A Night Out On The Town Baby Free.

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I continued buying the same way that I did before they got married. I spend the same on each person.

I remember some old posts on MC where the mom bought expensive stuff for her child and went real cheap for the spouse! It was something like the son got a nice jacket and the in law got a cheap sale blouse. YIKES!
I couldn't do that. Besides I love my in- law kids too!

My mom & dad gave us money. They gave the same amount to the spouses.

Giving to them as a family is a great ideal but also the first christmas very nice too,Family night GC,Grocery store GC etc

An idea for the 17 yr old and his wife would be a "couple" gift. What about a GC for dinner or a movie for them, then babysit?

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I have 2 sons out of the house this year i am getting each of them a water dispenser so they can make hot cocoa and cups of soup it has the hot and cold i am also getting them gift cards to starbucks and and a resturant.

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