The birth parents of our (foster) daughter suddenly want to see her again after seeing once since march.

Back story:
We have been the foster parents of my niece since sept last year. She was born severly addicted to meth and was removed from their home when she was 2 weeks old. She was placed in a foster home where the mom specialized in meth babys and was the worste case this lady has seen in 10 years. When she was 4 months old we got her. Every week the birth parents (my brother and his girlfriend) would have supervised visitation with her at the, CPS office about 45 min away, for 2 hours.
She was born with a large hole in her heart and had surgery in December last year (she was 6 months old). The birth parents arrived to the hospital 30 min late and stayed about an hour. They didn't get back to the hopsital until after the sugery was complete. They were "tired and wanted to go home and shower." I was very angry.
In march they just quit coming to the visitations. No reason, they just didn't show up anymore. For 2 more weeks I was still required to go just in case they showed. They were required to take random drug tests, attend NA, and attend parenting classes. They never did any of this.
In July or August we had court to termanate service. This means the state has given up on them and the case was closed and sent away for review. Just before court they decided they wanted to see her. They were 10 min. late to the visitation and left after only 40 min. (10 min early).
Well, services were termanated and they disappeared. Now we have court again next week to termanate parental rights and complete our adoption of the baby. Today I get a call from my sister (she lives at my moms house). They want me to call them so they can see the baby again. I got their number and called our social worker. I left a message with the info and asked her to call me. Then I called them and told them they had to call the social worker. I left her number with them.

I just don't understand it. This baby has no idea who they are. She has only seen them once in 9 months. Why, after so long, have they decided they care about her? I am so frusterated. They get like this when they start to clean up. They will care about her until their next fix comes along. I am happy my brother is cleaning up but why can't they just accept that they have lost her? They lost their chance of getting her back when they dissapeared in march (and decided they didn't need to complete the requirements set by the courts). The only reason they still have parental rights is because the courts have to let a certain amount of time pass between hearings.

Thanx for letting me vent. I hope this will all be over soon.

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TLJ ~ Where opinions are encouraged, not deleted

You laugh at me because I am different,
I laugh at you because you are all the same.

Your mind is like a parachute, it only works when it is open.

I have very strong feelings about this (in your favor) but Mama always said "if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all." So what I will say is you are a wonderful person for what you are doing for this child. I thank you for taking in this child and I am very proud of what you are doing.

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I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.

Life! is a coin. You can spend it anyway you wish, but you can only spend it once.

Good luck to you. Unfortunatley parenting isnt for everyone. My thoughts are with you.

I am on your side!! Love on this precious child that now has a chance for a good life with you. May God give you strength during all of these trials.

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My brother and his wife have 2 children that they successfully adopted after being the foster parents for both. Each case was grueling and stressful. I think so highly of you for what you are doing. Consistency is going to be the key, and your child will be better for having you.

Please update us!!!! We're rooting for you!

Hopefully things will work out your way. Has the social worker said anything more? I used to be a Social Worker and did CPS then later a social worker in foster care, normally it takes at least a year of the parents showing no interest to proceed, then the court dates with certain amounts of time going by (the soonest I ever saw a termination of rights done was 18 months (unless they sign their rights over willingly depends on state laws in your area), if they show any interest in "cleaning up" unfortuantely the courts usually decide in the parents favor. I worked in VA, according to the contact I personally have had with CA (including issues with my own neice) CA has some of the most lenient laws in the US in regards to parental rights (I noticed you live in CA). After the termination of rights to adopt in the state I worked in you then had to go through the adoption home study (different from the placement home study) and then certain amount of time frame and visits every 3 months for a certain amount of time, etc. before everything can be finalized, this has to be done in addition to anything that you have done in fostercare. of course, CA may have different rules since they are more lenient, maybe the process isn't so long, I only ever did 1 adoption (3 siblings) already living with the foster parents from application to adoption took 18 months and that was the fastest timeframe it could be done in. This process cannot begin until the child is free to adopt. Could also be different if it is a family member in your state. Keep in close contact with the social worker. What kind of adoption are you doing: open or closed?

You are doing something wonderful for the child being a parent when she has none. But it is really sad the "state" will always rule in favor of the parent, even when they have no skills at being one. Keep fighting for the child, you are doing the best thing.

We are all rooting for you and the baby!!!

Keep us posted

I think every case is unique and no one, but those in the particular situation know what to do or what to try. It's true that you have come to love this child like your own and provided all the care and I know how hard it is because I was in your shoes not only with one, but with two. It's hard to judge your brother because my brother was a REAL addict. He used to shoot up so many times a day he couldn't even remember what he had just done in between rounds. I took it upon myself to help him out. I took him into my home since I have a finished basement with a separate entrance and that was his place. He was only allowed to come up and be around the kids when he was sober which was almost never. I went every afternoon while my husband used to stay with the kids to support my brother and get him help. I can;t say he was clean in 2 or 5 months because they take them through stages, but what I can say is I helped him by going with him to every session including those where they gave him methadone and every week or two they kept lowering the dose until about 1yr 1/2 later it was down to none. It wasn't my responsibility to sit with him in parenting classes, but I did it anyway. I went through ard times having to support not only him, but also his 2 kids and deal with baby mother in court. Today I am so happy as I look back. He got himself a very good paying job, full custody of both of his kids and he had become a wonderful father. I know there are many times when you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped (I guess that's the best way to put it), but there are also others who just need a little extra help and support instead of having everyone turn around and not support them. All I can say is do what your heart tells you.