My son has a kindergarten teacher who is just out for him. Things have been bad since week 2 of school and I even told her that he thinks she doesn't like him and after that things have been a little better. I am hoping she is making more of an effort with him, but she doesn't EVER say anything nice about him or his progress and I have to ask for an update.

I feel like she just doesn't like him and she doesn't want to take the extra effort with him, it makes me very sad because he's being such a good kid and is really trying so hard. She writes names on the board when the kids misbehave and he used to have his on there a lot with extra checks for the extra times he got in trouble, but he hasn't had his name on there in weeks and he gets no recognition.

I was going to give her a really nice gift, hoping for a little extra effort for it, but I don't know.

Have you ever had a teacher that didn't like your child?

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

Nothing!!!!

I would not feel obligated to get anything for any teacher unless you really want to! I know that a lot of people give their gifts in gratitude... But parents need to know that eachers do not expect anything! Good teachers teach because they love their jobs.

Unfortunately, your little guy is on the receiving end of a teacher who is having a bad year. Sad for him... but he will be fine! I always looked at those years in my boys' lives as 'character building' and luckily (hopefully) your son is only in a half day of school (unless your school does all day Kindergarten like they do here, yikes!).

I have a couple of ideas that might help...

Maybe you can have him write her a sweet letter telling her to have a good day or bring her flowers... Something to brighten up her sad life. Something is going on (probably at home!) for her to be so unhappy.

my 29 yo daughter had a 5th grade teacher who picked on her constantly. I would tell her to suck it up. If he complained that she was fiddleing with her earring, I'd tell her then don't fiddle with your earring. If he said her work was unnecessarily messy, I'd say then don't turn in messy work. When it came time for the parent/teacher's conference I told him outright that my daughter felt that he didn't like her. He said to me "of course I like your daughter. I've never met a child I didn't like". I knew right then he was full of crap because there are unlikeable kids out there and if you're a teacher you're bound to run into one now and then. Immediately after the conference he started treating my daughter fairly and picked on someone else. Let your son's teacher know that he still feels like she doesn't like him and continue to let her know until she starts treating him fairly.

And as to what to give her as a gift? I read something in our local paper today written by a teacher who said teachers don't really like getting all the "stuff" they get during the holidays. Money spent on classroom supplies, giftcards to restaurants, or giftcards to movies would be much more appreciated. My sister-in-law used to teach elementary school and she had drawers full of Avon and scented soaps and apple themed things. So try for something useful that will be different from the other kids "stuff".

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All I have to say is damm Kkain you are good. I like the way you think.

The teacher emailed me about a month ago when there was a really bad day and I wrote back that he said she didn't like him. After that she has at least been aware of it and I think she is making more of an effort because he isn't getting in trouble as much. Not that she likes him any more, but at least he thinks she does.

She still doesn't have anything nice to say though, to him of to me. She sent a test score home and said he was in the bottom of the class and he didn't know some basic things. My Mom and SIster were both teachers and they don't see what this lady is saying and neither do I, some of the things he didn't know and I am aware of that, but some of them I know he did.

I hope you are right about it being something in her life. My son was a star pupil at his preschool and I spoke to his old teacher and she couldn't believe what I told her. This is just not like him and the other teachers don't have this problem either. He is a gentle, shy boy who gets embarrassed easily and likes the gentleness that I don't think she has for him.

He does go all day btw, it is really hard on him, I wish it was a half day.

I felt so bad for him today, he has been doing so well and he has to go to her every day, I bought him a nice gift and told him I was so proud of his behavior. My poor little guy.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

DH and I feel "iffy" about my son's teacher. She seems to run hot/cold with our son. We got her a $10 bookstore giftcard. Not a whole lot of effort into the gift, but I feel it is appropriate.

NOTHING!!!
I do not feel obligated to get any teacher a gift.
Last year my daighter did not like the assistant and the she could not stand me so there was no desire to get her anything and we never did.

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I thought if I didn't get her anything, she would be ever worse!?

I have a gift card for her and thought about saying something about the new year in the card, like "take this gift card and buy yourself a new attitude for the new year."

Really though, I was going to write "hope you enjoy the holidays and we are looking forward to a fresh start for the new year".

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

You cannot reward bad behavior in a child or a teacher. I think giving her a gift is saying you are doing a good job and she obviously is not. I would not get her anything . Can you feel my anger? I had a teacher like this and she still teaches at my childrens school. I will never her let her teach one of my children. Teachers can be bullies too.

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I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.

Life! is a coin. You can spend it anyway you wish, but you can only spend it once.

I had this same situation last year with my son's 1st grade teacher. She didn't like him from day one. And I kept telling him, "it's okay, everyone is not always going to like you, we are going to make this work",etc. And I talked to her about it about 2 months into school and she kind of blew it off. Things got worse and worse (for instance: she punished him for 'listening' to another child talking in the hallway, but did not punish the child that was talking!) and yes, she admitted that to me and then said, "maybe that was wrong". Ya think?
Anyway I went to the principal when she finally told my son that she wanted him to get suspended so he wouldn't be in her class anymore. And the principal promised to address this with her and asked me to give her a couple of weeks. Things were better for 2-3 weeks and then went steady down hill. Two months before school was out, I finally had enough and called the principal with the latest issues. She not only moved him to another class, she moved him on a different hall so he wouldn't have to see her every day. The end of the year was wonderful.
Do I recommend having a child moved to another class for every little problem? No. But in our case, I just wish I'd done it sooner. It would have saved me ulcers and my child acid reflux from all the stress!

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Mom to 3 - one with 2 legs and 2with 4!

So sad... these stories make me so sad There are so many awesome teachers out there! I hope that you never have to deal with this again.

I honestly think that the Kindergarten teachers are really resenting the full-day school with that age group... I know; I've taught it and it is so hard to do!!! It is one of THE hardest things I have ever done! There are so many kids that are just not ready for it. I am so thankful that my own children did not have to do that. My youngest would have never survived.

I've been there with my own kids (as far as bad teacher). One year, my oldest was begging me to homeschool him (this was for a longterm - 4 month substitute teacher, terrible!). My solution was to volunteer and stay in the class as much as possible as a volunteer. I hated it because it took from *my* time but it sure did make things turn around as it took a lot of the load off of her and it made her be 'nice' to my son. I don't think she wanted to lose either one of us by the end of it all!!! Unfortunately, a lot of the 'bad' teachers will not want any help either... They might be afraid of what you will see??? or???

I kill 'em with kindness. Always how I've been. I think that it teaches my kids good strategies as well. Hah!!! LOL.

I am also THE squeakiest wheel about next year's teacher. I have that down to a fine art!!! You have to get in there and work the system in the kindest (but firmest) of ways!!

Flowers... give her flowers. After the holidays when things have calmed down and she is least expecting. You'll see a change! Really, you will!

[quote=flipper113]

I have a gift card for her and thought about saying something about the new year in the card, like "take this gift card and buy yourself a new attitude for the new year."



This really made me laugh!! I can think of an entire list of people I'd like to do this with.....

just curious - why haven't you tried switching him to a differnt class? just becaue a child is assigned a teacher, doesn't mean they have to STAY there!!! your son is TOO young to have his school years ruined with this bad year. it could "scar" him for the next few school years - get out NOW!!!

OK- I am a "kill 'em with kindness" person. Nothing makes a irritable person more uncomfortable than a smiling, sincerely happy attitude. Two suggestions- #1 Give her a Christmas present - not a gift card- which will benefit the kids not her but with a happy, upbeat note. "Since this is Tommy's first year in school and he is learning so much, he wanted to send xxxxx. We are looking forward to a happy holiday and wonderful new year". OK notice- there is no mention of "Thank you for all the things you have done" - there is no "Tommy has enjoyed being with you" etc. BUT there is a present and note. I would give her one month after the holidays- any chance you can volunteer? after the holidays--if things do not improve then I would contact the principal and say I want him moved now. I would also not discuss this issue in front of my son. Good luck!

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Lyn Clarke

In the beginning he wasn't liking school and that really had me worried. Now he looks forward to going, he likes certain classes better than others, but he has no complaints about his homeroom. He hasn't had his name on the board in a really long time, so at least it seems like he is behaving better, or she just got tired of writing it. She doesn't communicate very well, that annoys me.

I haven't switched him because he is still enjoying himself and I think that would be more traumatic at 5 than leaving him where he is. He is really big on structure and schedules and I think he has learned what to expect and what he can and can't get away with in this class now. It took a while to get adjusted and I know he wasn't on his best behavior, but things seemed to have improved according to him. The teacher isn't a nurtchering (sp.) teacher like you would expect in Kindergarten, but he needs to learn how to get along with all sorts of teachers and people, so I want to encourage him to figure out how to get along with her and MAKE her like him! I bought her a gift card, but really want to think of something good for the card, something along the lines of what Lyn wrote.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

Wow, I agree with mrsamandac, if it doesnt improve, move him to another class! I LOVED preschool, then kindergarten, I had a teacher that was very strict, she frightened me and she did not me. It really made school miserable and I associated that experience with school for the next few years.
Fortunately, my DD has been extremely lucky with her teachers so far. Each one just seems to sincerely, thoroughly love and understand kids. I also agree that while there might be a few not-so-good teachers out there- there are also some extraordinary ones that make a difference.

As for the gift- nothing! I would get the teacher nothing.

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Not all those that wander are lost.

Give the gift of COAL!!

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My daughter had a witch for a 4th grade teacher so I can relate. We went on vacation and she was so mad that when we brought her in a nice souvenir she took it and didn't say thank you. My daughter looked so hurt and I will never forget her cold disposition. I would get a very small gift because as the other kids hand her a gift your child might feel awkward so only do it out of love for your precious gift.

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an 8 x 10 pic of your child..lol

seriously.. I wouldn't put much of an effort into it!

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Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like. - Will Rogers

How about some books or art supplies for the classroom. That way he's still bringing something in, but it is something the whole class can enjoy?

Should I paint the bullseye on it, or let her do it herself?

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer