Okay, My hubby and I were driving home from our trip this weekend(sis's wedding) and the kids were bored to death on a 6 hour drive. My 5 1/2 yo son LOVES for me to tell him stories about when he was little, but I was quite surprised when he asked me to tell him the story of when he got his first woody. I started laughing so hard, as did my husband, and it took me about a minute to realize he meant the story of when he got his first "Woody" doll from Toy Story. I just thought it was so funny, because he had no clue why we were laughing.

Do you have any memorable funnies from things your kids have said?

Too funny!

My youngest is a real pip. She was going to the store with her babysitter and she wanted Karen (babysitter) to put in a cd of the songs from the Scooby Doo movie. Karen was trying to find the cd and my dd must have asked her again to put it in cause she said "hold your britches"...to which my 4yo replied "don't call me a britch!" Karen said she about had to pull the car over cause she was laughing so hard.

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Friends are like butt cheeks.
Crap might separate them,
But they always come back together.

Oldest DS was watching me get ready to go out one day... I was fixing my hair and sprayed it with hairspray. He asked what that was (he was about 3.5 at the time) I explained that it was hairspray--kind of like hair glue. He just died laughing. I asked him what was so funny about hair glue. He said "well, Daddy must have never used the hair glue!" Yep, DH is bald.

Oldest DS again, about 6 y/o, was walking through the kitchen. DH and I were talking about something and I was giving him a hard time about not knowing the answer. I told DH "you're not the sharpest knife in the drawer are you?". DS without missing a step, never slowing down, just looked at me and said "NOPE, he's a spoon!" Then proceeded on down to the TV room!

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

We were on our way to my sons b-day party whith my sister in the car. We were talking about all the kids that were going to be there and I had mentioned a kid named Jack. Well DS2, 4, shouts out of the back seat to my sister "You don't know JACK!!!" Making it seem like she didn't know anything.

MIL and DS1, 7, were having lunch a few weeks ago and talking about our family. DS1 said something about DH and MIL replied "Dads are a bit wierd, huh." Ds replied, with a straight face, "Nope. Dad is normal. My mom is wierd." MIL about peed her pants.

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TLJ ~ Where opinions are encouraged, not deleted

You laugh at me because I am different,
I laugh at you because you are all the same.

Your mind is like a parachute, it only works when it is open.

My DS was about 3 at the time. He had heard someone use the word Jesus in a slang way. One day he was doing something and it didn't go right. He said "Jesus" and I looked over at him and in a stern voice I said to him what did you just say. He looked at me and said in a sweet innocent voice
"Jesus loves me". It took every ounce of strength not to laugh. I still laugh when I think about it.

At around age 2 (a long time ago!), my son used to call my mascara "messy-scare-you"... hmmm.

Cutest one was at around age 3 when a traveling opera was going through town and I took him to see it. Someone asked him where we were going and he told them, "We are going to Oprah's house". Heh.

LOL!! What cute stories

My oldest DD was talking to my youngest DD about cutting out paper with special scissors. (the ones you use for scrapbooking) Well my oldest DD told her they were funky scissors.

My youngest DD came and asked my were the "F****N" scissors are. I was laughing so hard. My oldest DD was mom I didn't tell her that

LOL

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Dawnie
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If there is a will there is a way!

This story is from yesterday at the grocery store(the woody one aboved reminded me of it). I took my 8 yr old DD with me. As we are shopping this coversation happens between us...

Becca: Is this where we got the balls from?

Me: What?

Becca: you know, the big smelly balls.

Me: (with a louder much more confused) What?

Becca: (Again) The big smelly balls you bought me.

Me: (kind of looking horrified as I see a woman listening to us) What are you talking about?

Becca: You know the ones that smell like cherry and grape, the bouncy balls.

Me: LOL!!

Leave it to me as an adult to think of balls as anything other than the rubber bouncy playground things!!

DS was about 5 when I had DD. After her, we talked about (and ended up actually doing it) getting my tubes tied. Well, apparently kids hear much more than you think! DS went around asking every woman he saw (teacher included) if she had her tubes tied! Right after that operation for my tubal, my dr. told me "no coochie coochie for 2 weeks" apparently I repeated this to someone, because a few weeks later I was playing with the baby and said "coochie coochie coo" and my DS said "HEY MOM! Your dr. said no coochie coochie for two weeks!"
Forward a year or so, DS was playing with his little sister and there were dollies all over. I hear him shout "I knew you should've got your tubes tied! Look at all these babies!!"

One time when DS was real little, all his toys and stuffed things seemed to talk and take batteries. My DH was watching a hunting show and a deer was shot and fell down, DS said "oops, his batteries are dead!"

Recently DD was putting away silverware and came across a measuringspoon that doesn't go in the silverware drawer, she asked me "where does this one live?"

Back in 1995 I did childcare in my home. The story an above poster wrote reminded me of this. I was reading a story on the holidays. It came to Christmas and told of baby Jesus. One little boy said "oh oh, I don't like that word" I explained about Jesus and said it is not supposed to be a bad word, it is God's son. Another little boy knowingly nodded and said "yeah, and all the other swear words are God's brothers!"

I love this thread!

My niece was great for these:

Santa comes to our family Christmas party every year. One year Jenny's toy broke and she took it over to him and said "you made it, you fix it!"

Another year Santa asked her what her favorite song was. She replied "Puking in the parking lot". Her parents owned a bar and this was on the jukebox. She as about 6 at the time.

My favorite was when she as about in 3rd grade. My Aunt was at a teacher conference. She met a teacher that was from the town my sister is from. She asked the teacher if she knew them and she said, "Oh yea, I know Jenny. I was an aide in her class." After teaching them one day, this is what happened:
Teacher: Do any of you have any questions?
Jenny: I do!
Teacher: Ok Jenny, what is it?
Jennyu: Do you really think your belt goes with your outfit?
Teacher: Uh...I think so.
My aunt just about fell over laughing!!!

My cousin was going by a prison. Her DD asked what that was and she explained it to her. DD said "They must have a lot of corners in that place!"

My friends son was with her when she had to pick up a friend who had car trouble. He said "Mom, why are we giving him a ride? You said you don't like him."

Same boy: His mom had a problem she had to straighten out at the bank. She said she sas going down there to give them a piece of her mind. At the Teller's window a little voice came from below the counter saying "Mom, lift me up so I can give her a piece of my mind too!"

Grown ups say silly things to kids too. A bunch of us from church were sitting around our kitchen table. My 5 yr old DS came in with a McDonalds beenie baby squirrel. She asked my DS "do you have big nuts?" We all just about died laughing! Apparently that is the big squirrels name. None of us knew that but her. DS didn't know what was so funny.

Not nearly as funny as the posters above but

My mother keeps my kids for me at home and is working on teaching my 2 1/2 year old her colors. Last night she was asking my dd what color the sun was and she said yellow. Trying to help my dd also learn Spanish I asked if the sun was "amarillo". My dd looked at me and said "No mommy, you are NOT a hero, you are a MOMMY"

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“A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.”
Jerry Seinfield

Those are all so cute!

I have a 5 month old daughter. About a month ago, DH and I went to lunch one weekend. I took my daughter, in her infant carrier, into the bathroom of the restaurant to change her diaper. When we got to the bathroom we had to wait for the big stall with the diaper changing area since there was a woman with a little girl in there. When the woman and the little girl came out, the little girl came over and looked at my daughter. The little girl couldn't have been much older than 3 1/2. While she was looking at my daughter, she said "We have a baby too." I said "Oh, really?" Then the little girl said "Yeah, and it's a girl too." Then, her mother said "No, it's not. Our baby is a boy." Then the little girl said "Oh yeah... I forgot." It was sooo cute and funny.

I use to work in a daycare and I was reading to this little girl she was 3 1/2 and while I was reading to her she kept passing gas. I quit reading and looked at her and said "Whitney, do you have gas?" she looked up at the ceiling for a few minutes and then she replied "my daddy got gas last night" I thought that was funny and cute they way she was looking up at the ceiling and really thinking about what I asked her. Also one time I was at the store with my friend and her son and we were on this one aisle looking at something and a little girl with her mother passed us and went to the next aisle but the little girl came back to the aisle we were on and my friends son let out some gas and the little girl heard him and she went back running to the aisle her mother was on which was the next aisle yelling "mommy, mommy he poo pooed in his pants!" I thought we would die of laughter.

Two nights ago my DS, who is 4 yo, was not listening well. I told him he better watch himself, Christmas is coming up fast and he comes out with "Christmas Eve, coming up next, on Nick Jr." I almost died laughing

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Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle

Is his name Nick? LOL... Just kidding.

These are so cute and fun to read. Thanks!

When I was pregnate with our first son my brother (who was 6) put a basketball under his shirt and was walking around saing "Look, I'm Nelly."

When I was pregnate with DS2 I worked at Disneyland. I was about 8 mon. when this little girl came up to me:
Girl "What happened to you?!"
Mom whispered "Don't say that"
Me "I am going to have a baby."
Girl "How do you know?!"
Mom turned red with a worried look.
Me "When you are going to have a baby your belly gets fat, when your not your whole body gets fat."
Mom looked relieved and said sorry. I told her it was OK then told her about my brother (story above).

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TLJ ~ Where opinions are encouraged, not deleted

You laugh at me because I am different,
I laugh at you because you are all the same.

Your mind is like a parachute, it only works when it is open.