Long story short. kid down the road from us is 15 and has it bad for our 21 yr old daughter. his mom and dad are divorced, dad remarried a 67 yr old woman . dad is 44. dad drived long haul and is NEVER home. step mom treats kid like he is 3. she actually came up here last summer one nite raising He(* at us cause he walked up here and wasnt home in bed at 8:30 as she thinks he should be. anyways, our daugher is home from college and he is showing up here ALL THE TIME now. His step mom thought he was at church last nite for a play and was suppose to go home with someone and appeared here at 11:30 pm/My hubby told him it was to late to visit and to go home. But today, he showed back up here at 1 pm while I was at work. my hubby was off and was out in the yard. he hung around and hung around and finally my hubby came inside and he came with him. piled down on the couch and there he still is. Our daughter has told him that she is not interested and she has a boyfriend but it just dont seem to sink in. I think the kid is lonely but this is not the place to hang out at. His dad was home for 1 day for christmas and is gone again for another 5 weeks. I feel sorry for the kid but geeez! He needs to find somewhere else to go. There is no other kids around here. I dont want to be mean or rude but this has got to end! our daughter has been hanging out in her room and not going in the den since he is here.
any ideas??? I dont wanna hurt his feelings. help!!!

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Sad to say sometimes you have to be rude. We had a girl who got infatuated with my DH and she would come around all the time and it didnt matter what we did she wouldnt go away. Whenever she would just pop up at our doorstep we would make an excuse and leave in the car somewhere, didnt do any good. Slammed the door in her face, ignored her, cursed her out etc. She even followed us in the store etc. We even went to her parents and told them to keep her away from our house and street and they said well she is over 18 she can do what she wants, she was about 23 or 24 and very immature for her age I always suspected she may have some delays but have no confirmation. It took a no tresspassing order from the police to get her to go away. If his parents wont do anything get a no tresspass put on him. Its sad when you do it but sometimes you have to.

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~ Christine ~
DisAbled SAHM to Stefan 9/30/1998
RIP Daddy~ 01/24/1930-06/01/2007 I miss you !
Dont Think you Can .. know you can ~ Jeff Hardy

Poor kid..Sound like his step mother is treating him like a young child..Whatever happen to 10:30 pm bedtime on a school nights & 12 am no school I don't know what you can do without hurting his feelings...That's a tuff one ..I just bare with it when I had a similar problem

I had a 12 year old boy that came over and played games with my ds when he was 6... He was over my house most of the day...He had a small crush on me as his mom put it...The poor kid parents treating him like dirt....His step father was a son of gun wouldn't let him use his tools to fix his bike & etc He would come over and dh would help him fix the bike...one time dh paid $30 in parts to fix it for him...we told his parents it was a early b-day present from us..2 weeks later he got into trouble and the bike was in the trash. Get this his so called mom forgot to buy him christmas presents and went out at 10pm on christmas eve night and bought him acouple of cassette tape.I could not believe my ears when she was telling me this The last I heard he was in prison for breaking and entering He really was a good kid his parents just didn't see it..they blamed that poor child for everything that went wrong in their life and treated the kid they had together like a angel and gave him everything he wanted

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Angels may not come when you call them, but they'll always be there when you need them.

Wow sounds like she was a fruitcake and couldn't take a hint that your dh was married and not interested in her.... I would of called the cops too

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Angels may not come when you call them, but they'll always be there when you need them.

Yeah she kind of is, still lives in he neighborhood and she attaches herself to people like a leech and her parents have been asked to get her help or evaluated.

Sadly there is a 35 yr old woman who used to be my best friend who back in 1999 had an affair with DH, yep DH got kicked out and got his comin uppins from me when it happened I made him suffer for 2 years. She recently called my foster mom, who knows her and asked her to have DH come over to Foster moms house to call her because she didnt want me knowing she contacted him. She was asking all kinds of questions about us and him which foster mom told her she knew nothing as we had a falling out, but 35 yrs old and trying to steal my man of 23 yrs she needs to stop she even found him on Myspace and changed her profile so he wouldnt know it was her, but I was a step ahead of her I knew it was her had found her months prior and was watching her. she even told foster mom she wrote to DH on Myspace and he didnt write back, gee I wonder why? We are working on tracking her new home address down and sending her a letter telling her once again to leave us and DH especially alone.

I feel sorry for kids that the parents dont care about that they fail to give them the love they need and treat them badly that they feel the need to get attention in the wrong way.

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~ Christine ~
DisAbled SAHM to Stefan 9/30/1998
RIP Daddy~ 01/24/1930-06/01/2007 I miss you !
Dont Think you Can .. know you can ~ Jeff Hardy

You and your husband need to sit down and tell him flat out the house rules.
If you do NOT want him there at all you need to let this be known. If you DO wnat him there, especially since it seems that he wants to be a part of your family, then tell him that he is welcomed as long as he knows what time he can be there. ALSO, I would have him call his stepmom when he first comes over so that she indeed knows where he is and YOU know that she knows where he is. I had several children in our old neighborhood that would rather be at our house than thiers.

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i would probably say that since your daughter is rarely home with you, when she is, you really consider it family time and while you dont want to be rude, you just arent having any guests at the moment. say this AT THE DOOR. once you let someone in, it's a lot harder.

or just say that your daughter has a big test of some sort after the break and is busy studying now and cant have company.

if saying it nicely doesnt work, say it directly.

you could also just never answer hte door. if he knows you're there but not answering, i think he'll get the message.

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Maybe he just needs a little guidance and someone to care about him. I would set firm limits for him discussed with him and explain to him why. Tell him he is spending so much time with your family that it is preventing him from doing the things he needs to do to be successful in life. Give him times (once a week for one hour for example at 4 pm on Thursdays) for a weekly visit and to catch up. Give him ideas on things he can do for himself to make his life better.

Please don't just throw him in the garbage. He is most likely infatuated with your daughter because her life looks like something he wants for himself.

Good luck with this situation.

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Faith + Love = Happy

I agree with this idea.
After all your husband is a male and the boy is a male... your hubby is gonna understand him better and vice versa.
Lots of boys get crushes on older girls.