Hi guys
I have a question for you all. My son is now 18, graduated from highschool and has a full time job that pays quite well, way over the minimum wage here, he lives at home and doesn't pay anything. The only thing he pays for is his own vehicle insurance and stuff for his truck, gas, etc.... He takes night classes 2 nights a week and is a really resonsible person. He is suppose to be saving money to build a place on some land (that we are giving him). He is spending a lot of money and not saving very well. Should we charge him rent to live at home and how much? What are your opinions on this? Thanks!
Tamie

I charge my 21 yo $100 a week rent. He pays for his car stuff and his personal magazines etc. I pay utilities and buy most of the food. Some weeks I do let him pay a lesser amount but each week he pays me soemthing.


Laura

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Laura
Please visit my blog
http://mylifeinlaurasworld.blogspot.com/

DH and I have already agreed that when our boys (14 and 12 now) are ready to go to college and have jobs, more than likely, they'll be living at home. We WILL charge them rent (we're thinking $400 a month). They too, are both being given acres of our family farm to build on. We'll be "secretly" keeping and investing their $400 a month and giving it to them as a down payment on their new homes. We think it'll be a nice surprise, while their feeling responsible in paying their way!

Our recently married daughter and her husband both live with us. They are young (20 and 23), and just starting out. My son in law just graduated from college and they will soon be moving out of state when he starts his new job. We decided not to charge them rent. They have been living with us for about six months. We thought it would give them a chance to save money for their big move. I don't have any regrets about allowing them to live with us rent free. Both of them have held a job and paid their own bills since they were 16. I would probably feel differently if they were out spending money, but they are both very good at saving, and only go out occasionally. I know they both appreciate what we have done for them, and I will miss them both a great deal when they move in eight weeks.

My son is 17. We have been talking about this to him. Once he graduates high school , he is going to college. As long as he is in college we will not charge him rent. I don't want him to be scrambling to go to school and work. I feel his education is most important. BUT, if he's not in school then he will have to pay some type of rent.

Jen

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Mom to Jake, Zach & Meghan
SJCC STREAKS FOOTBALL!!
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I think this is a great idea!

I do think that if they are attending school full time the rent should be minimal so like the above posted said they aren't stressed to pay bills and can worry about school.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

I was going to suggest this as well.

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I've had a Foreman Grill for about six years. I've done about 85% of my cooking on it, but I've never burnt myself. Probably because I don't use it as a pillow.

DH had to start paying rent as soon as he turned 18, which was shortly after he started his senior year of high school (October). I thought that was a bit harsh and thought they should have at least waited until he finished high school.

I think it's a great idea, if you're going to charge your kids rent, to save/invest that money to give back to them for a down payment on their own home.

I have heard of that too people charging but saving it for the kids so when they move out they have something. I dont think thats a bad idea if you have a child who cant save I personally lived at home tell I was 19 but I was saving half of my check every week to buy my first place. I did however buy the groceries every week. As for my own kids guess it depends on the situation if they help in alot of other ways & if they are trying & going to school & or working I probably wouldnt care however if they arent doing jack I would charge them something, cross my fingers thats not the case LOL. I hope they learn to save the money on thier own guess I will see when the time comes.

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mom of 3 greats girls

My son is 19 and he doesn't pay rent. Rules are as long as he is in school and maintaining a C or above he doesnt have to work or pay rent. If he drops out of school then he will have to get a job and pay rent.

When I was about 19 and decided to drop college and work full time my parents started charging me $300 a month rent to live at home (this was in '79). I was so upset at my parents and how DARE they charge me money to live in MY OWN HOME!? I grudgingly wrote out that check every month, cursing my parents under my breath. I moved out a couple years later to my own apt with a roommate.

Well, don't you know, they took that rent money, saved it, and invested it. On my wedding day they presented my husband & I with a check for just over 10,000.00. That became our house down payment! I will never forget their gift!

Our oldest is now a college freshman, but if she decides to come back home and is working full time I intend to do the same thing for her and the other two kids if the situation arises.

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This space for rent

Here's a thought that came to mind while reading these posts.....if you charge rent to your kid, is it then a landlord/renter relationship, or as parents, do you still give curfews, make your rules for them to abide by, tell what to do, etc.? I would think not since they are paying you, but am curious.

I love the post where they received their rent with interest back as a wedding gift....what awesome parents!!!!!

That was part of my deal with my parents. Part of the charging of the rent came about because I was out until all hours of the night partying with my friends and breaking curfew. Once I started paying rent, they took away my curfew.

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This space for rent

"if you charge rent to your kid, is it then a landlord/renter relationship, or as parents, do you still give curfews, make your rules for them to abide by, tell what to do, etc.? I would think not since they are paying you, but am curious."

Charging parent here but no I'm still Mom. AJ has no curfew. once I awhile he will help with housework, walking the dog, he does his own laundry. As long as he goes to work (we work at the same place and I hear it if he doesn't show up) I'm a happy woman.

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Laura
Please visit my blog
http://mylifeinlaurasworld.blogspot.com/

I went back home after college and lived there until I got married...about three years. I had a full time job and a part time job, bought my own car, paid for it's insurance etc. I was expected to home at a decent hour if I went out. I really wasn't the kind of kid to challange rules though.

I didn't pay rent but was of course expected to do my own laundry and help out as much as possible around the house. My parents were older when they had me, a surprise baby 10 years after their last one, so they were glad to have me home to help out. I looked at apartments once, but they encouraged me to stay and save my money.

My son is 19 and we don't charge him for rent. I did tell him that if he stays in college even part time we will not charge him. He pays for his own phone and car insurance. I lived at home until I got married and my parents never charged me rent. They said as long as I saved money I didn't have to pay. I also paid for all my expenses.

I charged my Mother, StepFather and Nieces rent when they moved in here. As far as my Mom and stepFather went they were allowed to come and go as they pleased. However, My nieces had crewfews. Sorry but it's still my home and I'll NOT allow anyone to wake me or the kids up with comming in at all hours of the night.I also didnt give them house keys either. Mainly because they can't even keep up with their shoes let alone my house key for them to lose or worse yet leave with some of their questionable *friends* to rob us blind when we weren't home.I didn't allow ANY parties nor was any of their friends allowed to drink in or around my home,*Note why the oldest niece and her boyfriend was kicked out of my home * and there was to be NO DRUGS *note why I had my baby niece arrested and put in juvie at the age of 16* for a year .I looked at it this way, even tho they are my closed family members they couldnt wouldnt walk all over me and my husbands rules and the willingness to open our home to them when they were about to be placed on the streets to live. My home still had rules and they were to respected them or GET OUT.My home wasnt brought to be used as a rental home it's was my home. There's no law that says we must provide our homes with any adult whether it be adult children or adult family members.When I allowed my family to move in with my family it took 2 years to ge tthem out of there, We had drinking, drugs, things stloen and people that I would want to met in dark alleys showing up at our doors.Needless to say, I'm very bitter on this subject and learned a very good lesson to the fact. It's still my home and I'll set the rules. If anyone living here cann't follow them then they are free to get oput and get their own where they can run it as seen fit.
But yes, If any of my adult children were to move back in I'll charge them and yes they would have rules to follow.
Maybe it's because I'm still raising 4 children ages 10 to 4 and last thing I need is for someone to move back and think I'll pay everyhting while they have a ball on my tab.

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MyCoupons Is #1 for Holiday Shopping

When I was growing up, my parents didn't charge me rent as long as I was a full time student. Their arrangement was that they would pay for books and room and board for school (and I had to pay tuition). So, they figured it was much cheaper that I stay at home rather than in a dorm 30 minutes from home. When I quit school, I had to pay them rent, although it was very minimal.

I would definately charge rent, especially if he isn't going to school full time and has a decent job. After all, how is he ever going to learn to be responsible enough with his money to live on his own if you don't start to help him see how the 'real' world is where you can't just spend your money whenever you feel like it.

When I was growing up my parents charged me weekly room and board while still in high school AND had very strict rules along with an early curfew even after I had graduated. For that I got the priveledge of sleeping on the couch and storing my stuff in boxes in their hallway. To this day I have never had a key to their house. (Though I was a really good, responsible kid.)

My daughter is now in college. As long as she remains in school full time and is working hard towards her degree we won't charge her. We do expect certain rules to be followed and to get some help around the house, though that is rarely done. If she were to drop down to part time in school our expectations would change.

My suggestion is that since you see that he does have extra money and are concerned that he isn't saving, charge a modest rent. If you don't need it, save it or even a portion of it, for him. I wouldn't let him know what you are doing because teens have a way of starting to feel ownership then and you could hear about having 'HIS' money. Good Luck!

We didn't charge my DD any rent when she was a full time college student and living at home. She did pay for her own car payment, insurance, cell phone, tuition, books, babysat when I needed her to, did dishes everyday and took us out to dinner once a month. She moved out a year after being out of high school into a small house by herself and then planned on getting married that fall. We offered to pay ALL her bills for 1 year if she would just wait 1 year to get married. We though that she might not finish college as she was marrying someone in the military and would be moving around. She turned us down on the offer, got married and did continue to go to college for another semester, then because of a military move in the middle of a semester she was unable to go to school this past fall, she was unable to start back again this semester because of health problems, she just had surgery last week and there is a 6 week recovery time. I would pretty much do anything to keep my kids in college.

This is similar to the plan that we have for our boys. I dont think that we will charge them much if they are in college full time, maybe $150 a month. It really depends on them and how responsible they are, what type of job they have and how much they are paying of their own education.


HTH,
Darlene

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Sell crazy some place else, we are all stocked up here.

My DD is full time college student and pays for car insurance and misc car repairs and items. We don't charge her rent but she has helped us out tremendously with DH's business and with misc errands. She is doing great in school and just made the Deans list her first semester. She is very responsible with money actually very conservative so I think she is responsible enough.

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Without Health you have no Wealth!

I moved back home in my last semester of college to do a full time internship at a local TV station. I was then hired on when I graduated. I was only earning $14,000 and I also worked another part time job at the mall. My parents did not charge me rent. I have also had to move back home as an adult (in my 30's) when Dh and I were moving (military transfer) and he had to go to a school at another location for a couple months. They did not charge me rent then. That would have been silly. But I did try to pick up the tab for groceries once in a while.

Regarding the curfew thing, my freshman year when I came home for Christmas break and was going out, I asked my mom what my curfew was. She said that I was an adult and did not have a curfew any longer. I thought that was so cool and still do. And realistically, I have been going to school in Pennsylvania while they still lived in Germany. It would have been kind of silly for them to give me a curfew. And yeah, I used to sometimes close the clubs at 2:00 AM.

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Raising my baby RIGHT!!!!!!

All the cool babies are wearing cloth!

Yes. All mine had finished HS by the time they turned 18. The rule was:

You can live at home for as long as you want/need to without paying rent IF you are a full time student with at least a B average. Otherwise, you will work and you will pay rent. No curfew but show respect by notifying me if you are staying out all night. All other house rules still apply (my house, my rules - don't like it? - move out). Once you move out, though, you're OUT. Make sure you're prepared to live as an adult in the real world - your financial mishaps/nightmares are not my problem so short of a life threatening medical emergency you will NOT move back in with me.

That "not coming home tonight" notification rule got violated a few times by the older ones. Thought they were "too old" to be checking in with mom until ..... I vanished for a couple of days without telling anyone that I was leaving, much less where I was going ... Completely out of character for me and created absolute panic for them. After a fruitless search contacting known friends & family, they had already called the local police & I swear they were about to call in the FBI/CIA/INTERPOL and every other alphabet LEO agency they could find when I resurfaced!!! Unofficially, they had called 'em in since several of the friends they had contacted were employed by those entities. Talk about a light bulb moment - they finally understood that the notification thing was an adult to adult sharing a home courtesy instead of a child to parent report.

Apparently the rest of the house rules weren't a problem (do your own laundry, chore assignments, stay off my phone, No phones ringing after 9 pm, pay your own gas & other personal bills, no overnight guests, etc., etc) because I had a difficult time getting rid of them. When you've raised as many as I did you eventually WANT an empty nest, you BEG for an empty nest. I'm STILL waiting --------- The earliest age fo departure was 19 (sort of) - the twins enlisted in the Marines - but DD returned home until she got married after her active duty was finished. Her brother went career and still "officially" calls my house home, he's 33. I would really like his room back since he's been stationed overseas for over a year! LOL Female twinkie just purchased a new home with a spare "guest" bedroom, so maybe he can relocate his stuff there...please!!!!!!!

If we exclude my military son, I was a Grandma twice over with two more on the way before the last of my kiddies finally moved out despite the fact that the rent was increased annually on the individual child's BD until it reached the point that it was cheaper to live in a decent apartment on their own. Now, five of the grands practically live here since two of my children bought houses in this neighborhood!

Yes we charge our 18 year old rent, because he refused to go to college. I think I will try the vanishing act, but he probably wouldn't even notice if I was gone anyway.

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Melissa
Mom of Kiefer, Kaitlan, Korrey, and my very special Heavenly Angel, Kieran^i^

For my children, as long as they are in college, they can stay home and not pay rent. But they have to put the money towards the college tuition so they are not in student loan debt when they get out on their own. However, if I saw my child was not being responsible with the money, I would charge rent ($100/mo or so). If you don't need the money, put that money into a savings account for them (without them knowing) and give it to them later when you see that they are more financially responsible.

If the child did not go to college, I would definitely charge rent, more than $100 too!

I think it is so important for people to learn financial responsibility before they move out on their own. I've seen too many people fall flat on their faces when they move out and get into so much debt they can't get out. They need to learn early that they will have lots of bills and they can't spend all their money on frivolous items.

We have 2 grown sons living at home, they work full time and are not in college. We do charge them 50.00 a week for rent, we supply all the food, cleaning supplies, bathroom items, pay all the bills and all they have to do is keep their rooms clean and take out the garbage every now and then.

Where else can they live for 200.00 a month and everything is paid and done for them. I am still there mom so there are a few things they have to abide by, like no drinking, clean your dishes if you eat after supper dishes have been done, NO DRUGS of any kind, they can not even come in the house if they are drunk or under the influence of anything illegal (we dont have that problem but the rule is there just in case they ever decide to). Nothing harsh, they come and go as they please.

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Someone stole my kitchen table......Oh wait..... there it is, impersonating a pile of coupons.

I am an adult child who had to move back home after splitting up with ex. I work full time, buy my own groceries, pay my own car insurance and take care of my 13 y.o. I pay rent. My two brothers who also live at home ( who never moved out yet) also pay rent. My parents are retired and have fixed incomes. If they need more money we all chip in. I thank them everyday becuase without them I would have wound up living in a shelter. I think every parent should keep their doors open for their children, because sometimes we need to come back home. When I eventually move out and have my own place, I will NEVER close my doors to my son. When he moves out, and he ever needs a place to come back to I will always welcome him with open arms.
As for charging rent. I agree with most posters. When my son goes to high school and keeps his grades up, he will not have to pay rent. He will have to pay for things he wants; games, movies. I told him he cannot date until he has a job. I am not paying for him to take a girl out. Just how I feel. I think he should work in high school, as long as his grades don't slip. I will take money from him as 'rent' but put it away for him.
Acidreign

I started paying rent when I was 17 and got my first job. I was a part time high school student (I had only needed to take 3 classes a day), I babysat my brother from 12:30 until my mom got home around 3:30, then I went to work at a toy store. My mom kept 50% of my check and I was required to pay for my own personal expenceses (like gas, shampoo, make-up, clothes, ect.).

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TLJ ~ Where opinions are encouraged, not deleted

You laugh at me because I am different,
I laugh at you because you are all the same.

Your mind is like a parachute, it only works when it is open.

I agree, as long as the child is a productive citizen, like you are. Now if my kid was spending his days sitting in his basement room, scratching himself and working part time at the 7-11 and was over 18, I might have to show him the door. But like you said, there is no better feeling than knowing your parents are there for you if life throws you a curve ball.

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Raising my baby RIGHT!!!!!!

All the cool babies are wearing cloth!

I've heard of parents charging rent, which forces the child to be responsible with his money. When he is ready to move out, you can give him a part of the rent he paid or all of it as a down payment on a home of his own.

Forcing him to take responsibility in this way is good for him. He'll learn a lot about money management and delayed gratification that will help him in the long run.

Good luck!

I have 21 year old twin boys that go to college and work full-time. We charge $100 each per month. They both make good money with their jobs. They paid half cash for their brand new cars. They pay their own car insurance, cell phones and college. When they were 15 they started working and learned to save their money. I am trying to teach them responsiblity with charging them rent. The total of $200 per month really doesn't even cover the grocery bill in one week for a family of 5 Plus having them pay their own college really keeps them more motivated knowing it's their own money and not party time like some kids do. They are saving to buy their own home and not have to waste on renting a apartment.

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Carolyn
At the Jersey Shore