Ok it's my Mother.
Little history here.
My baby niece was arrested just over a 2 years ago when I caught her doing drugs. I pressed charges and she was sent to rehab and juvie for a year. She's been out for 1 year . Since she's been out she had dated 8 guy yes 8 of them She's only 18 Just 18 mind ya. She has quit 6 jobs , most she only worked a few hours before quiting them.Last July I had had my fill of them ( Mother included and told them It's been 2 years this was ONLY suppose to be a few months for ya'll to move out, you go to GO ).oK They move out and since them my niece has been hanging around some rather questionable people, I do supect she's doing drugs but probably not the meth she was doing 2 years ago. More like smoking pot and taking RX pain killers. Anyhoot, She has been hanging around a person I know for a fact is T-R-A-S-H. and I was tellign my mother ( Niece lives with her ) that I thought she needed to do something about this, I dont like this person never liked her since i met her, she was someone that just gave off bad feelings by what she talked about. Ok now here's the problem.

My Niece just came over and was totally pissed at me for saying I thought this family was trash. I told her I didnt say all of them were trash only the girl. She said you told granny they dont work, WELL THEY DONT work. the girl I know had 2 jobs and quit school at 14 years old , she romes the roads and comes and goes as she pleases.The mom to this girl also didnt work up till a week ago when she got her job. there's 2 brothers in the picture which my niece is dating 1 the oldest brother works and the younger one well works when he needs spending money. So YES to me the girl is trash and has NOTHING going in life other than running the roads and parting all night till she goes home. Not somone I want to see my recovering meth addicted niece to *hangout* with.So with this, I told my mom how I felt, Well my mother in returns tells my niece what I said, WHY ??? wE WERE 2 ADULTS TALKING, not 2 teenagers talking, Good grief I dont understand why 2 adult cannt talk between themselves with out 1 of the adults acting like a spoil teenager trying to stir up trouble. An no sadly to say she didnt tell my niece out of concern for her what I said , she told her to stir up trouble betwqeen us. See when my niece came out fo rehab we became very close and my mother has been very jealous of this, she has gone so far as to tell me WHY are you spending so much time with her when I'm the one that raised her. well because you allowed her to quit school at 14, you allowed her to roam roads at 11 years old you allowed her to date a man 32 years her SENIOR Yes you read right 32 YEARS HER SENIOR. So no didnt think you were a good roll model for her, So I took her in and tried to get her life on a better road with someone that HAD RULES she was MADE to follow.Mainly to keep her form falling back into the same mess she came pout of 2 years ago. Well now my Mother has gone and told her what I said and now my niece is totally pissed that I said this about her *friends*(gag).
Does anyone else have a family member like this >? why in the world would they WANT to start trouble ? All I have done was try to keep my niece off the roads and out of the hands of trash to help her better herself, so one day she'll have something going for her life.
God this really IRKS me to no end.

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MyCoupons Is #1 for Holiday Shopping

Obviously you're hurt by your mother telling your niece what you said about her friend . I would be hurt too... all you was doing was trying to help...I would let things die down ..I would back away and let your mother handle it. She choose to deal with your niece and she's in for one heck of a ride. She already been thru rehab she is going to have to hit bottom before she changes her ways there nothing you can do,,, nor your mother,,, it's all up to her..She may be dating these guys just to support her habit...When things start going bad like things missing in your mother's home then your mother will wake up and smell the coffee and realize her niece friends are indeed trash.

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Angels may not come when you call them, but they'll always be there when you need them.

Thanks Angel for understanding. Yes I'm very hurt by her telling what I said, Not that I care she knew that I said it because it's true, But HOW she said it to my Niece.
My Niece has not had a very *Normal* *Stable * life since she was born. When she was born I took over the better part of caring for her and her sister. Then my Brother moved back here and dropped the girls off at my moms.The Bio-Mom has had nothing to do with my baby niece since she was 5 months old . So to my mom She is her Daughter by all means and matter.When mom got her at 8 months old and her sister was 3 years old , Baby Niece was a withdraw baby from all the drinking and drugs her bio-mom did. My brother also a drug head ( WHY I HATE DRUGS AND ADDICTS )My mother although she wasnt the best choice for rasing the girls, she also had a bad drinking habit too, she dranked every single day for as long as I have been alive up till 3 years ago. But she still took the girls and till they hit the teen years she did a pretty good job raising them. However, she was getitng old and I guess didnt want to have to fight with the teens and just let the do and go as they pleased. My Mother has had health problems for the last 3 years and she has became addicted to RX Pain Killers, she had OD'ED 14 times in the last 2 years with the last one happening last june and spent 11 days on life support. Once she recovered from the life support I told the hospital she couldnt return to my home as I have had my fill of all the DRINKING, DRUGS AND FIGHTING that was going on. they kept her another 5 days till a judge turned down the order i summited to have her placed in rehab, he's view was she wasnt crazy and she was age 70 so if she want to rehab she was to do it on her own .Which of course has never happen and never will. But this has led to my niece taking the course in life she has took, all she has EVER Known was drinking and drugs. thats part of the reason I agreed to let her come back to my home after she got out. I wanted to show her the other half of life where there wasnt any drinking, drugs or wild life, where she would have a stable home and feel safe. But once again, my mom got her claws in my niece and over ruled me and started allowing her to get wild once again. Between that and the OD's from my mother I had enough and all but kicked them out in July.
I love my niece , I want to see her become a good person w/o drugs and w/o drinking her life away/.
My Mother honest to god thinks there's somehting *WRONG* with me because I dont drink, Ive never been into drugs, I dont live a *wild life*She has told me to my face I dont understand why people drink and do drugs, well NO cannt say I do understand why anyone would do this, However, I do understand WHAT happens to people that led this kind of life style.and from what I have seen from my Ex-Sister in law that would just walk away from her 5 month old and 2 year old daughters and from my brother that just dumpped them off at his mothers and of course my whole childhood of her drinking and the fights between her and stepfather it's not what I want for my niece and to think my mother would go and start crap like this between my niece and me. OMG I think the drinking and drugs has really damanaged her brain.
My husband told me not to worry about it it's their life and you only told what you felt and how you seen it and if it was him he just wouldnt care any longer. he's right, she is over 18 and mom is 71, but DANG IT i cannt just not care. I guess from now on I'll just keep quit and let them learn the hard way AGAIN.
Thanks agian for understand Its appreciated.

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MyCoupons Is #1 for Holiday Shopping

You have backbone and the guts to stand up for whats right. But, honey, don't make yourself crazy trying to control a situation that is out of your jurisdiction. With your caring and convictions, I bet you are a very good mother.
Do something special for yourself and be happy that you broke the cycle and escaped from that kind of life and still have your sanity.
Dee

I agree with dee.... you can't change what's happening with your niece. And now you know that whatever you tell your mom she's going to repeat so don't say anything. Just be there to pick up the pieces when your niece's world comes crashing down around her. And it will. Whether she's back to doing meth or ONLY marijuana and pills, she's headed to disaster and a lifestyle that is not what you want for her. But you've lost control of the situation so try to save yourself from being hurt again. Distance yourself from their everyday traumas.

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got2save2- It took me a long time to figure out that I could neither control my father's drinking nor could I base my happiness on his controlled drinking. Sometimes, you just have to walk away or at least, take a BIG break. My father, in his late 70's' had a mini stroke and "forgot" to drink, anymore!!! What a damn waste of a life. You just can't help everybody. Give your attention to the ones you can help. It is a hard lesson. Good luck!

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Lyn Clarke

I would also step out of the pic I know its hard I know I have a niece about the same age. And she thankfully is a great kid but if thier was a problem like this I would probably be thier in a heartbeat. But your mom is an adult & now your niece is too maybe when reality kicks in your niece will come to her senses we can only hope right??

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mom of 3 greats girls