I would really like some advice on this. But first let me say, if you're going to be insulted by this type of language/behavior, go ahead and stop reading. Normally I wouldn't dare put this type of thing online but I am home alone and have no one I can call for advice, but I really need some input. I will do my best to 'dress' up the language as to not totally offend anyone. AND believe me this is not the way I behave or talk so before I even began, I apologize and just need some advice.


I have a male friend who just got out of the military on Monday and moved back to our hometown. He has spent the last 2 and half years on Iraq. Well, in the last few month's, he has been writing, calling, etc a friend of mine and they have formed a relationship. Keep in mind that my female friend and I have been only been friends for a year, but we're pretty close none the less.

Well out of the blue, another friend, we'll call Jo showed up extremely drunk. So, my husband would not let him drive no where else. So, him and military friend put jo in truck and took him home. which is only a 10 minute drive and that's giving some extra time. Anyhow. hour and a half later, my hubby and military friend return. I ask what took so long. My hubby laughs and says he wanted to look for some (female body parts). Well, the remark did not go over well with me at all. But I simply said, I don't need smart BLANK comments, I just asked where u were. I finished watching my movie and went to bed. Well this morning at breakfast my hubby says, I wasn't being a smart mouth, I was telling you the truth. MILITARY man really was looking for some girl stuff. KEEP in mind his girlfriend was here with me.

Well, here's what I need help with. I dont' like to meddle in other peoples business, but I feel like I should tell my friend. What do you think? Now, she is the type of person that would get an attitude with me for telling her, etc. That's the only reason I am wondering if I should tell. Cause if it were someone with whom I had known all my life or something like that, then I wouldn't hesitate. Just wondering. Should I upset her and possibly lose her friendship (and his too) or try and tell her so that she can protect herself........or just let the situation be and let them both figure things out on their own.


Secondly, I am mad that he put my husband in this position where he would potentially try and set him up. I trust my husband and I don't think he would cheat so that's not really my issue. My issue is that he involved my married husband in the first place. Should I say something to this friend?

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email is moserlara@yahoo.com

He sounds like bad news all around to show such disrespect to all of you. I wouldn't be too happy w/ DH at this point either-he's a big boy and should have said NO. I think I would have to tell my friend.

the military friend with the girlfriend was NOT drunk. Military friend with girlfriend and my hubby took the drunk home. So, the drunk really has nothing to do wif it.


military friend is looking for girls, while he has a girlfriend that is my friend. THus problem is do i tell friend, and do i let military friend no i am pi$$ed. As for my hubby I took care of him, lol.

Just wanted to clarify the who's who.

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email is moserlara@yahoo.com

Let me be blunt are you saying he was looking for a prostitute or picking up a girl at a bar? If thats the case "If it was my dh "I would be highly tick at my dh for he has no bussinees driving a friend around looking for that for him..
Getting back to your friend, In this day and age if my Bf was cheating on me I would want to know even if I was using protection from dieases..nothing 100 percent..True it would break my heart that he was willing to take this action,but I rather be hurt now than later down the road..Now if and when you tell your friend don't be shock that your dh will be more alikely upset with you.because he told you the truth and may feel like your sticking your nose into matters where he feels you don't belong.

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Angels may not come when you call them, but they'll always be there when you need them.

I would stay out of it. I'd also find new friends.

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No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him. 1 Corinthians 2:9

The military guy is not responsible for putting your husband in that situation, your husband is responsible for allowing himself to be put in that situation, for going along instead of say, "Dude, more power to you but I need to get home to my wife." As for the friend, maybe you can broach it like, "Friend, is there any chance that Dude is seeing other women?" Friend will probably say, "Why do you ask?" You can then say, "Well, it is probably nothing, they were probably joking but when Dh and he came home from taking drunk guy home, they were late and Dh insinuated that it was because Dude wanted to look for chicks. I just laughed it off and assumed he was kidding." You are basically giving her a heads up and putting the ball in her court.

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Raising my baby RIGHT!!!!!!

All the cool babies are wearing cloth!

Sounds to me like "military man" isnt invested as much into the relationship as his girlfriend is. Honestly, I think I might keep my mouth shut unless girlfriend asks. I would definitely let my hubby know that I don't appreciate him being in that kind of situation either.

Sooner or later the true colors of 'military man' will come out and be there for your friend when it happens. If she would freak out if you told her, then theres no sense bringing grief upon yourself. They are both adults so let them work it out on their own.

Good luck.

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"Why must you speak, when you have nothing to say." Horatio Hornblower

Sorry if I'm being thick, but what did military guy and/or hubby do? Stop in a bar and look at some girls? Go to a strip club? Buy some services?

I don't want to make excuses for military guy, but if he was deployed for a long time where he was without much freedom, he may feel the need to be out and about and may even feel like sowing his wild oats, so to speak.

As for your friend, I'm not sure what to do but I like the recommendation to just make some light-hearted reference to what your husband said.

cj/

Sorry to say but if your DH was out with "military man" looking to pick up chicks for some action, chances are any chick "military man" picked up just might have a friend along also. Your DH didn't have to go along with the horny guy unless he really wanted to. I think I'd have to tell YOUR friend just what military man was doing. If she confronts him about it tho, you might find out more info than you really wanted to know.

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Living well IS the best revenge!!

I hope you don't mind me saying this, but I feel the only person you should be mad at is DH - the question of whether to have words w/the military friend seems misplaced. Military Guy is a pig, but he's not your business. It was poor judgement for DH to be an accomplice. And I think that by going with Military Guy, he was not innocent.

I have a feeling my advise won't sound very honest, but to me it's an option if you want to help protect your friend, who may get hurt by Military Guy:

How about leaving an anonymous note for the girlfriend? I know that might sound sort of cowardly, but your objective is to give her important info without placing yourself in the middle of it, which neither your DH nor even your friend, herself, will welcome.

However this is handled, best of luck!

Ok, here's some of the scoop.

Hubby got out of the car with military man, walked, and finally rode part of the way home with an older man. Man drops him off at the end of the dirt road and military man shows up and brings him the rest of the way home down the driveway. Hubby knew better than to ride along to look for women. AND we went to this older gentleman's house today to Thank him for the ride and offer gas $, so I know that my hubby told me the truth. But I really didn't doubt him anyway.

UPDATE on the girl friend. I did try to casually make conversation about faithfulness, etc. I told her that I knew he was calling other girls wanting dates, etc. And how did she feel about this and were they supposed to be exclusive, etc. Well, she somewhat got an attitude, but the message was gotten accross. She is supposed to call me later to talk and I will let yall know what happens.

As for military man, I am gonna let that rest. My hubby handled the situation very well, especially considering he walked miles in 18 degree weather last night. And he has said that he will not ride anywhere with him again as he will not be put in that kind of situation.

Thank you all so much for helping me with this. I would have never thought to try and get the point accross like this. And whether or not she gets mad, will be her decision. We are grown adults, I am happily married and I am not the kind of person who would tell a lie to make someone else unhappy and if she dont know that about me by now then she doesn't know me very well.

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email is moserlara@yahoo.com

Kudos to your husband! Give him a high 5 for me. I would expect my husband to disentangle himself from someone cruising for a woman, too. And once your husband walked away the guy had to know that your husband would 1. tell you, and 2. you would tell your girlfriend--especially because she was home with you. You had no choice AND I doubt if he will ever put either of you in that position, again. Did your girlfriend think she and military boy were exclusive? If she cops an attitude with you when you have the talk ask her to explain to you what she thinks you "should" have done.

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Lyn Clarke