I am so mad right now. I let my9yr old Daughter go to a relatives last evening because they were having a cake for their son. Now they had a Big Birthday over the weekend for everyone friends and relatives which we all attended. Well last night was his real 5th birthday and my parents wanted to go over as they do with all the Grand kids on their actual birhtday. The Mother of the birthday boy had to go out at 7:15 for a school meeting and wouldn't be back until 8:15. Now let me explain there was no invite to come over last night I guess its just assumed I get home at 4:45 from work have a family that has to eat so what was I supposed to do just go over their house or go over on a school night at 8:30 for dessert.
Well here is the part that has me irate! When my DD who is only nine arrived she went through boot camp from this immature 39yr old asking where I was and what I was doing. Where my other daughters who are 15 and 18 are and what they are doing. What makes this WORSE ist that it's my MOTHER who overheard this and never even said anything and just let this go on. My mother knew the sitatuation. Mind you if we were wanted she would have done what i always do call and say it will be casual Pizza or Sandwiches or Chinese but they are always complaining that the kids have 3 Birhtday Parties The Big One, The School One and then the actual night so rather thank impose my family on them during dinner or at 8:30 we only went to the BIG one. I just think this is wrong what she did drilling my DD who is only 9. Next time if she was so concerned or nosy why wouldn't she just pick up the phone.

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Without Health you have no Wealth!

This MUST be your sister... I hope that you two can figure out how to get along (ie Subway Dining and Wine-Tasting Parties). I'd give anything to have my sister back who passed away a few years ago.

My SIL never invited anyone for anything...LIke my nephew was having a b-day party and she will mention it to my mom...BUT not really invite anyone...but she really assumes we all will be there...A couple years ago , my older brother just didn't go to the party because he wasn't invited and just refuses to participate in anything unless she directly tells him....

BUT this is also the same woman, who just assumes I'll be home after school and if she's not her daughter can just come over....I repeatedly tell her...IF she knows she wont be home TELL ME I dont expect her daughter and sometimes we have plans after school..AHHH so hard to be living so close to the relatives....LOL This is my brothers 3rd wife...I hope his next one is more considerate!!!

I would give anything to have a better relationship because you are so right life is too short for this petty crap and there are only the two of us. I have repeatedly tried but unfortunatly she always thinks people are to screw her. Its nuts but my poor Grandma although a wonderful and beatiful women suffered from the same syndrome. If you heard any of the ridiculous srories you would tell me to find her a shrink.

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Without Health you have no Wealth!

I think she knows how to 'push your buttons' and you're playing right into her hands. She's got you where she wants you -- frustrated, never feeling as good as her, etc., etc.

Stop playing her little games. Even if it bothers you, DON'T let her know it. Sounds like she's got you right where she wants you. And stop letting it bother you. You have better things to do than worry about what she's thinking and why she's thinking it!

I know exactly why your upset...my dad USED to do the same thing when my kids would come over...he would ask them all sorts of questions that were none of his business. It all stopped when I told my kids...If Poppa asks you anything about what goes on in our home tell him "Ask my mom!"

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#3 Gone To Race In A Better Place...

We ran into the same problem--so after a few years, we finally told the relatives that our children's bedtime is 8:00. And we stopped going to things that would keep us out later, especially on school nights. We started a "landslide" in the family and now things are scheduled earlier. As far as your dd getting drilled--don't stand for it. Put your foot down, even if it's on someone's backside. Then teach her to carefully, neutrally, and diplomatically say, "That's none of your business and I will kindly thank you to stay out of my affairs." Yep-- my 9yo ds says it to certain relatives that try to use hm to "spy" on me and dh!

That being said, I hope you all can figure out a way to get along. Life is too short for pettiness and stupid cruelty!