Ok like a big dummy 3 months ago I really started to think I had figured out my son that has apergers, ADHD, and Aniexty disorder everything was going great. Well the last 3 weeks have been hell. All those easy days of him being the perfect child are gone. We had everything figured out we had a great routine and now he is back to Not dressing himself, not eating, not doing homework, and being so peeved at me he can hardly look at me without throwing a punch. I know it sounds like he is a really awful kid...he's not. He is funny and intelligent and can be such a sweet pea. But I have lost him and don't know what is going on. I understand that kids like him have cycles and he is on his down cycle but my question is how do I get him back to where we had been. I am so stressed out and I am in tears every morning because I hate fighting with him before school.

I talked to his teacher today and I guess there was a problem with another little boy in his class and she assured me that the situation was being handled. I don't know. All I know is that he is stressed I am stressed and DH blames it all on me.

Any suggestions would surely help I am at the end of my rope.

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cmemaloy@yahoo.com


I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.

Life! is a coin. You can spend it anyway you wish, but you can only spend it once.

my first thought was "did something change". It could be as simple as you changed the color of his sheets? Sometimes very small changes that others wouldn't even notice can set off our kids. I didn't see where you mentioned you had sought any help for him. Maybe trying some occupational therapy or home based services would be in order just to help. I'm not a big fan of medication, but they have had luck with many meds to help with the effects of these disorders.

Good luck, I'm been in the exact same position as you and unfortunately in RI it doesn't appear to be much in terms of services.

he is nine and we did occupational therapy since he was 18 months I stopped about 2 years ago because everything they were doing I can do myself. I stay home and our house is set up for all the bumping and crashing. I have everything that the therapist has except for the degree. He is also in Karate 5 nights a week. But maybe it is time to go back to therapy for a refresher course.
Meds are a definate NO. I went to a psychiatrist and they gave me a script for Risperdal and I never filled it. Thank God I never did. My mother was given Risperdal for depression and now has Tardive dyskenisa which is a side effect of Risperdal. She had brain surgery to help with the TD but while having surgery she had a stroke and now she will never be the same needing constant care. So I think Meds are out until he is older and then we will decide...it just scares me so much. But sometimes I think MY gosh there is a pill I can give him and he will be fine. Why don't you just do that you big dummy? I just can't bring myself to do it. I know it works and the side effects my mother had are so rare. I'm just too chicken.
I'm going to go over our schedule and compare it to last month and see if anything has changed. The one thing that has really changed around here is the weather. It is so cold you can't even go outside for a few minutes. Our wind chill is -17 degrees. That maybe it but I can't fix that.
Thanks for the suggestions.

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cmemaloy@yahoo.com


I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.

Life! is a coin. You can spend it anyway you wish, but you can only spend it once.

I have an 11 year old autistic son in the 5th grade. We moved to another state in July and started a new school the following month. Big, big changes for him. Overall, he handled it well, but this new school is a great school that gives out at least 1-2 hours of homework every night. We were not used to that, as his previous school was good but didn't give him a lot of homework. Anyway, my son would hold it together all day at school and then come home exhausted and moody. It was very difficult getting him to do all this homework, and he was lashing out out at everyone over the stress of it. We're finally at a point now where he knows that there will be homework, everyone in his class gets homework, and to just do it. As frustrating as this has been, he will be more ready for middle school next year because of our experience at this school.

I should also mention that my son is on Aderall XR. I a not a huge fan of medicating, but my son cannot sit and focus for periods of time.

Didn't mean to go on about our experience, but maybe you could look at your son's school workload.

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I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

Huh...I had never heard of Risperdal for depression. Learn something new every day.

I don't have autistic children, but, I do know that even w/ my kids certain things can change their behavior:

Going through a growth spurt! OMG! Especially the youngest--he is cranky, doesn't sleep well. Of course there's nothing we can do about the growing. So, we suffer through. And while your DS is still a little young, he may be hitting the prepubescence and having some hormone surges. While most don't think about hormones affecting boys, they do.

Having worked w/ a couple of Autistic kids--I know that it can be difficult. I got to go home after 8 hrs of work! I can only imagine how difficult it can be for a mom/dad who doesn't get to "quit" after 8 hours of work. (((HUGS)))

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

I think you touched on a big part of the problem in your last sentence. My daughter goes thru similar cycles and it generally has to do with social situations at school. Like a child picking on her or a misunderstanding with another child. I will say that even if the teacher has "dealt" with the situation, more things could be going on behind the teachers back. One way to see if this is the case is to talk to a couple "reliable" kids in the class. We know my dd's friends and their parents pretty well, so we're generally able to figure things out as they know the little things that set her off. This might not be what's up with your son, but it might be a place to start.

I know you're probably pulling your hair out, but hopefully things will get back on the right track soon!

your right it is not for depression. She just won a huge lawsuit. Just scary

I have to say everyone who has replied has made me smile a little. I am tearing my hear out and crying when I am not doing that. I know this is not helping the situation. I am just so tired of ASPERGER SYNDROME!!! My husband is also Asper so my entire life is full of it.

Thank you for suggestions so far. Trust me I will try these and look into the others.

__________________
cmemaloy@yahoo.com


I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.

Life! is a coin. You can spend it anyway you wish, but you can only spend it once.

YIKES!!! You have TWO in your house???? Ijust have one. My son is now 18. We've been through alot and still go through it everyday. It sounds to me like the problem is this kid in school. It starts when you get him ready for school, because he doesn't want to go because of the situation there. I've been there. It is SO TOUGH!!!!! As they get older it definately does get better, but they ALWAYS have their moments!!!! I don't even know sometimes what sets my son off. And when we talk about it sometimes it STILL doesn't make ANY sense to me. But it makes sense to them. They need lots of reassurance. And I would check back with the teacher and find out exactly what happened and what action has been actually taken to prevent future problems.

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I don't know the age of your child but I do know that those times when my son was cutting teeth were always valleys... There is a really bad molar at age 7 (the '7-year-molar'). I remember this tooth really doing a number on many children, and not just those with disabilities, when I taught first grade. It just made them edgy and tired. Sort of reminiscent of the infant teething!!! Even my older son w/o Asperbergers was a *gem* when this tooth appeared as well. I treated both boys as I did when they were infants (ie Tylenol and Humphrey's Homeopathic).

Also, change in routine is hard for these children as you know and others have mentioned. So, you are wise to look into this and see if something has change. If so, he WILL adjust to the new routine if given time.

I wonder if you can shift his bedtime to 15 minutes early and then wake him up 15 minutes early in the morning. Try to slow it down so that you are not in a hurry in the morning so that he has time to spend with you and then maybe some of the frustration will be alleviated... The tears are not good for either of you.

My heart goes out to both of you. This really will pass! Things will get better. Hang in there.

Do your son and husband have a special Asperger bond? Can your husband talk with him and understand more of the frustrations? Has your husband ever taken meds? How had your husband's life been affected by Aspergers? Can/does he focus on a task? I once heard a ADHD PhD lecture on ADHD. He said that he had learned some control but he drove his wife crazy because he would do things like take out the trash- he would take 2 barrels to the curb and totally not see the other 2. He KNEW he was frustrating as hell to live with. Keep your chin up.

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Lyn Clarke

Yes they have a wonderful bond it's amazing how my dh can understand what my son is feeling. Now me he never understands how I am feeling. Husband has tried meds he didn't like them. Aspergers is not the end of the world as I have learned my husband is very successful in yes Computers, he can do anything with a computer. He is very well know in our area as the genius of computers. It's funny you say the trash thing. My husband does do that. If he doesn't fall on top of it then he doesn't care or feel the need to handle it.

I have to say for all of you Moms with children with Aspergers it is so hard. But I have someone that shows me everyday once they grow up they do lead normal lives get married and have a family. I love my husband and all of his little quirks. Don't get me wrong there are many days that I curse aspergers syndrome but mostly I enjoy looking at things different.

My son is doing a little better today I woke him up early as not to get him off of his schedule so hopefully this is going to help. Hey we have only had 3 break downs today. I would say the way things are going that's not so bad.

You are all so supportive and I really do appreciate all of you. I hope one day I will be there for you all.

__________________
cmemaloy@yahoo.com


I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.

Life! is a coin. You can spend it anyway you wish, but you can only spend it once.

My son does not have Aspbergers, but was tested for everything under the sun. After spending $5000 in one year out of pocket for testing and crap that the insurance would not cover, I relented and let them diagnose him as Bi-Polar and he was placed on a low dosage of Risperdal. Which he took for two months, until the Pyschiatrist got his bloodwork back and realized he has Hoshimotos Thyroid Disorder (Hypothyroid). We immediately took him off Risperdal and started Synthroid. He is a totally different child!!! Almost all of his sensory intergration issues are gone, the mood swings have all but disappeared.

I have read recent articles where they are now linking many issues with thyroid disorder and that many kids are being medicated needlessly and labled as ADHD-Bi_polar and such when it is an actual thyroid issue.

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#3 Gone To Race In A Better Place...

Was your husband diagnosed as an adult or earlier? It seems the term Asperger Syndrome didn't really become known in general until 10 or so years ago. Adults who have been labeled, were they diagnosed with something else as a child or just viewed as eccentric?

I do think that there are many adults out there that are on the spectrum, but also think the numbers are rising. They now say 1 out of 150 children are on the autism spectrum. In a few short years, our society will see an explosion of autistic adults. Hope and pray that something will be in place to assist them in any way.

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I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

Not to take from the topic that posted but I really understand what your son went through. I had gaves disease [ type of hyper] for years and went through all kinds of money test and misdiagnosis . They usally cant control typees of hyper with meds so have had radiation treatment twice in the past 8 years the last one did the trick so now I am hypo with no thyroid fuction but still trying to find an optimal dosage of meds, Plus no matter what you will always have bad days with thyroid problems. And hormones not thyroid but the others always make it worse thank goodnes he wont have the monthly changes to deal with.

Years ago when I was finally dx I read an article on a study where they found 2% of alzheimer's patients acually had thyroid disorder. Also if you find a recent picture of the Astronout who was recently in the news, my thyroid group found her arrest photo online, take a look at her neck if that is not a goiter I dont know what is. My gosh her neck is so mishapended . I never knew all those years that the general thyroid test most doc run can only pick up certain thyroid disorders at a certain level and that you should always run the Ft-4 and Ft3 ect instead of the tsh, heck even if they had run the antibodie tests on me it would have pickd it up.

Glad your son finally go the right dx but I do feel for any kid that had/has to feel that way physically and mentally it is just plain rotten