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Old 02-10-2007, 11:09 AM
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Arrow What do you think Forgiveness is??

A friend or loved one has serisouly wronged you......can you forgive them?? What IS forgiveness????

Everyone seems to have a different view on forgiveness, I thought this would be a good thought provoking topic.
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Old 02-10-2007, 02:49 PM
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I think forgiveness is not harboring any ill feelings toward the person who wronged you. It's beneficial for the person giving the forgiveness, not receiving it. IMO
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Old 02-10-2007, 05:15 PM
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I think it would have to depend on what they have done. I have forgiven everyone who has wronged me or hurt me, I don't hold it against them.

But....something like adultary, there is no forgiving that IMO, you did it once, I can't trust that you won't again. My first engagement ended because of it and I am not a bit sorry. I was at the time, but it was truely a blessing in disguise. I have forgiven him and would even thank him, because things are so much better in my life than they ever would have been.


I don't think that really answers your questions, does it?
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Old 02-10-2007, 05:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beckyandplacido
I think forgiveness is not harboring any ill feelings toward the person who wronged you. IMO
But not necessarily forgetting what they did to you.

The Bible tells us we need to forgive those who have tresspassed against us.
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Old 02-10-2007, 05:43 PM
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I like to have the person who wronged me understand HOW he hurt me and sincerely act that it was a mistake . I don't like to forgive when the person never admits to what he did was hurtful..Does that make sense ? I know it is good to forgive so you do not end up hurting yourself..but I have a hard time with it, I admit.
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Old 02-10-2007, 07:43 PM
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This is the defintion of the word
Main Entry: forgiving Function:adjective Date:1623 1 : willing or able to forgive 2 : allowing room for error or weakness <designed to be a forgiving tennis racquet>
— for·giv·ing·ly \-ˈgi-viŋ-lē\ adverb
— for·giv·ing·ness noun





Now my version is different. Forgiveness does not mean to forget. I never forget. But forgiveness is to understand that we are all human and we all error. I think forgivenss is to accept that a person has made and error and that they feel remorse. If they do not feel remorse then I have to say that they do not understand how I feel and accept that we all see things diifferently. Forgiveness is to not hold a grudge. Let it go for your own sake.
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Old 02-10-2007, 10:38 PM
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When soneone hurts you and you are able to let it go and not harbor ill feelings against the person who hurt you...that is forgiveness. When you forgive someone you don't ever speak about it or bring it up in conversation ever again. If you continue to bring it up it's still irking you and you have not truly forgiven that person.
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Old 02-10-2007, 10:56 PM
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For me foriveness has been more for me than the person who hurt me. I grew up with a bipolar,, passive/aggressive defiance disorder compulsive lying mom. I sound horrible, but this is her diagnosis from he last stay in psychiatric hospital of almost a year ago. She also has alheimers. I really feel sorry for her.
I sometimes wonder if she has ever truly been happy in her life. One example of here behavior while growning up was: I have one sister 13 yrs. younger than myself. One day I came home from school and my mother beat me because I got to go to school and she had to stay home with a 2 year old.
This was just one of many examples that as an adult I no longer try to make sense of. I just know that she had so many psychological problems that she could not control. Forty years ago people who came from upper middle class families (my dad was chief engineer of a steel mill) did not have these things. I am thankful my father never left her; no court would have given him custody of little girls and he had even admitted that he feared for our lives at times.
So I do feel for your own mental health you need to forgive, find peace for yourself, but never forget what happened and to not give that person or anyone else the opportunity to ever do it to you again.
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Old 02-11-2007, 01:21 AM
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To me, Forgiveness is something you give yourself not the person who has "wronged" you. Forgiveness, to me, is letting go of the hate, anger, bitterness, all the negative feelings you harbor. Keeping a heart full of hate, anger, etc does nothing to punish the guilty party it only eats you up from the inside out and keeps takes up energy and room that could be used for positive feelings.

Forgiveness does not mean "What you did was all right and I am going to forget about it" Forgiveness means "I choose to no longer waste my energy with these negatvie feelings. What happened is over nothing can be done to change it so let's move forward and do what we can to have a good and happy life".

This is my opinion and I also feel that in order to live a happy and spiritually fulfilled life one must learn to forgive oneself also which can sometimes be the hardest of all.
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Old 02-11-2007, 08:36 AM
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I'm not going to define the word, but the message, as I've come to understand it, is to not take someone else's problems as your damage.
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Old 02-11-2007, 08:16 PM
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Now I didn't say forgiveness was forgetting, there are things I will never forget, but to get rid of ill feelings toward that person, really helps me out.
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