My DS#2 is 3 1/2 and super messy. His room is a mess 5 minutes after it's cleaned, the playroom is always a mess, he leaves things all over the house and it is driving me nuts. I have made it super easy for him to clean up -- everything has a place where it belongs and most of it is within his reach and he knows what goes where.

I know, I know, he's ONLY 3 1/2, but he understands what is going on and just doesn't want to do it. I refuse to spend my entire day picking up after him. I have tried everything -- reminders, rewards, stickers, making it a game, making it fun, taking something away, timing him to see how fast he can do it, punishing him with time out/naughty spot, loss of priviledges, putting up a lot of toys so he only had a few to take care of, etc.-- everything I can think of and I have not found anything that works.

Whenever he is asked to clean up anything (it could be picking up a pair of dirty socks), he will whine and fuss about how it's too much work and it will take too long, etc. I am taking simple, basic things here that take only a few minutes -- putting dirty clothing in the hamper, putting his shoes away when he takes them off, hanging up his coat, putting books back on the bookshelf, etc. If he put as much effort into cleaning as he did fussing he could have the whole house spotless in 10 minutes <lol>. This child has an iron will -- he will go on and on and on. I don't let him carry on, but there's not a lot I can do to stop it. Even the things that normally motivate him will not work when it comes to cleaning up.

At this point, I would really rather do it myself than fight with him to do it. It would take me only a few minutes, however it's not how I want to spend my day. He needs to have the responsibliity and if I do it for him, then he doesn't learn and when he's 10 or 15 or 25, I'll still be doing it <ugh>.

So, tell me what works for your kids!
Sarah.....mom to Jason & Devin

My kids are older and this isn't the house, but I got tired of cleaning up a ton of food off our kitchen table after meals. I made a rule that the one with the messiest spot had to clean the table. The table immediately got much easier to wipe off! I don't even mind doing it anymore because it's not bad.

__________________
"It's not having what you want,
It's wanting what you've got"

I do remember those days. What helped with my Little Miss Messy Monster (that is actually a childrens book that our family LOVES!!) were that we ahd containers for EVERYTHING!! I use to use those baby wipes containers that were designed like legos. We had a sticker on the outside and all of her small plastic animals would go in them. She loved small plastic animals and they were all grouped. Bugs, dinos, Disney, frogs, etc. We still have many different clear containers, but the one thing I always thought was important was to have a spot for everything. She is now 12 and still wears the title of Little Miss Messy Monster BUT everything has its place. (It does not always get there.)
A fun thing we also used to do was to call a color and everything that color we went and put up. (At her school it was a contest to see who could pick up and put away the most items!!) Good luck.

__________________
John 14:1
GO GATORS!!
GO BEARS!!
Check out my pictures!! Just click below:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/gotjenks/

Clearly defined expectations and routines may help.

My children were responsible for putting dirty clothing in the hamper when they took it off... So when your child is ready to get dressed in the morning, he puts his PJs in the wash then...when he gets a bath in the evening and puts on PJs...dirty clothing goes in the the wash then.

As far as toys, my children were allowed 2 things out at a time..... after that you put away before you got out more.....

After dinner it is clean up time for whatever may have been missed.... DS was responsible for "shoe" patrol...lining up any shoes by the front door that were in the living room and then he got his bath and relaxed/watched cartoon... DD was in charge of books/pens/ pencils/crayons that they may have been using.... all had to be put away......

I too found that stickers/rewards only worked well for a while but lost they lost their appeal after a while.........

here's something we do at our house: we sing the clean-up song. it goes like this:

"it's clean-up time, it's clean-up time."
"please put your toys-----away...
"it's clean-up time, it's clean-up time"
"Please put your toys----away,"

it seems to switch them into clean-up mode, much the same way as saying "criss-cross applesauce" informs them that it's time to sit still on the floor for story time etc.

another thing you can do is to give him a hug, while saying a one-word reminder, such as "socks" or "trains" or whatever it is.

you know, some people just aren't picker-uppers. just ask my husband.

One thing that might work for the toys is to have a bin for toys that do not get picked up. Explain to your DS that this bin is for all toys that he refuses to pick up and that he will have to earn the toys back by keeping his room clean and putting his dirty clothes away. You have to be consistent. Some kids are just not picker-uppers. I have 2 boys and one cleans up no problem the other acts like it's the end of the world just to throw a dirty sock in the laundrybasket. Putting toys in time out seems to work well for my drama boy.

Make it fun for him. Give him rewards for cleaning up and putting things away and take the toys that he leaves out for a couple of days.

Make it fun by putting bins and cubbyholes in the room. Use shelves, toy bins, hooks, etc.

Also I googled "organizing your child's room" and many articles came up so maybe you can find some tips here.

Just like everything else with kids if you let him help you with the planning, shopping, etc he will be more likely to participate and keep it up.

Ask him "how can we make your room easier to keep neat?" then go over the options with him and this is a good time for him to start learning problem solving and that he is an important member of the team.

Then when he does the cleaning maybe he can earn special time with Mom or a special outing.

__________________
The political system is broke and it's a joke.

Marble jars are effective for this age child ... get a small jar for a child of this age though! Give him a set amount of marbles at predetermined times of the day (ie before lunch, before bedtime, etc.) for when there are NO toys/clothes on the floor and then take away a marble for each item that is on the floor. When the jar gets filled, you can do something fun together (like going to the park or for an ice cream cone or ???). Eventually, you'd phase out the jar but by then, it should hopefully be a habit for him to clean up at specific times of the day.

My friend used to pick up any toys that were on the floor at the end of the day and put them in a box and give them to the shelter or thrift store. That was REALLY effective!

It will get better... A lot of it has to do with being a busy little boy who probably doesn't want to stop what he is doing!

If I can say anything...Get a handle on this now. I have a messy monster and he is now almost 9. When he was little I didn't make him clean up and now I am still doing it. This problem does not get any better with time. I am now in re-train mode with him and boy is it harder than when he was 3. I should have done it when he was young. I would love to give ideas but I truly need the ideas. Good Luck.

__________________
cmemaloy@yahoo.com


I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.

Life! is a coin. You can spend it anyway you wish, but you can only spend it once.

Alot of wonderful suggestions here. My rules were you have to put the toy up before getting another toy to play with..If a toy was left on the floor I gave a warning to pick it up, if they didn't pick it up, I would take the toy away for a day..

When they were about 5 years old, I started to give them allowances for doing all their chores,such as keeping their rooms clean & etc.. I also would deducted 50 cent from their allowance for each choir that wasn't done.

__________________
Angels may not come when you call them, but they'll always be there when you need them.

I didn't read the other responses because I have to take a child with pink eyes to the MD...but I just had to laugh...you are describing my TEN year old...and yes she has been this way since 3 1/2! She obviously now that she is older does put things away without complaining, but quite honestly she is a slob! She is the one that at the end of the day will have stuff...food, paint, anything she touched all over her shirt. She could care less! She loves "stuff" and wants/needs to keep anything and everything that comes her way. Which of course makes her room a pig stye. I've tried giving her bins for her treasures to contain them...
BUT, to stick up for her, she is VERY creative and has the most interesting interests...very well rounded kid.

My son is the complete opposite! Mr. Neat Nick. We have video of him at 22 months old unwrapping Christmas presents and putting each little shred of paper he got off a package into the garbage as he unwrapped the toy...took him 20 minutes to unwrap one present. His room is spotless, always is. He is six, everything has it's spot and when he is done, back it goes. He was just born that way!

What is my point?? Well, I don't know! I for sure would continue to teach him to put things away, but to a certain extent, I believe that the need to have things clean and tidy comes with us at birth! I would suggest having very clear places to put things...we have storage bins that are labeled with a picture of what goes in them, all shoes go in a basket, coats get hung on a child height hook, boots tucked under a bench etc...stick with it, but remember he is young still. I would clean up WITH him to model the behavior you want, making it fun...sing Barney's clean up song.

I have a 10 year old who leaves stuff every where. His room is always a mess then he has the nerve to complain about how long it takes to clean and after he is done I swear the same night he is back to leaving clothes on the floor. He is just LAZY!!!! My daughter is just plain messy. She keeps things picked up and is good about cleaning but she spills constantly. Her shirts are always a mess when she gets home form school(BTW this child is also my clumsy one--I think the 2 must go together. She broke her arm last summer by tripping over her own feet and this Xmas break she tripped over her own feet again and landed on the corner of my hope chest and knocked out her front teeth. I wonder if her feet are too big, LOL). Good Luck on getting him to pick up. I am still working on darling hubby let alone the kidddo's.

Thanks for all of your suggestions. We have tried many of them. I am an organization freak and have made it super easy for my kids to pick up. Everything has its own box, basket, drawer or bin and my kids know where things go. The little one just doesn't want to pick things up.

As many of you have said, yes, he is the messy one in the family -- doesn't care if he's covered in food, dirt, whatever. He pretty much destroyed his first brithday cake and had a great time doing it. My older DS didn't want anything to do with cake on his face or hands at his first brithday <lol>.

We did take away a bunch of Matchbox cars (DS's favorite toy) this weekend since he refused to pick them up and they were all over the foyer. Since then, he has been a little better about cleaning up. He thinks they went in the trash and he cried today when he saw the trash man come and empty the can. Little does he know, they are in my closet -- where they will stay for a little while until his cleaning up improves and he can 'earn' them back.

Sarah........mom to Jason & 'messy' Devin

LOL I had to laugh here. I did this with ours [along with many other things] and my messy,stubbron one figured that if she did not need the money for something It was worth not doing the chores. Also if she only needed for instance a dollar she only did that many chores. Then I tried all chores or no money at all. LOL this worked for about a month. I never did figure out what to do with her she is now 17 and still just s bad. At this point I figure soon it will no longer be my problem but hers alone or her roommates. LOL
Just glad it doees work for some . Like my middle one

One thing I did wih my oldest as she was hard [but not at 3/12] was I just took the things period and did not give them back. It killed me but after she lost 3/4 of her clothes and many books and lipgloss she got better and never went back to her old ways . She was around 11-12 then I think.

I have four and only one is a neat freak. The other three are just plain messy. DD made the statement why should I clean it up, it will just get messed up again when she was only six and besides I like my room messy. When her room is messy she can find anything when it's clean she can't find things. Oldest ds just left home and you should see his room and the mess he left behind. Guess who gets to clean it up. ME!!! That's ok when he comes home he will be missing alot of stuff. Should have clean it up before he left for bootcamp. Lets hope they can teach him to pick up his things better than I did. Maybe when I get the mess clean up younger ds will be better at keeping his room clean. LOL I can always hope.

REgardless of what branch of the Military he entered--they will most assuredly instill in him the IMPORTANCE of picking up his things and being neat . I can ALMOST guarantee it!!

__________________
Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

I have one suggestion........how many toys can a child play with? It might be a matter of scaling down his toy selection, putting some away for a few months then rotating them, the same with children's clothing, (for those who have mountains of laundry from your 3ft tall Divas) They can't wear all the clothes and kids can't play with all the toys they have. Scale it down. I used to have tons of laundry ( like mountains). Now when I buy clothes, I take out the old and put in the new. If I put in 3 shirts I get 3 shirts back. It works.

So best suggestion is keep it simple, simple for you and simple for him.

You might try to focus on just a few things for him to keep clean at first. He might just be feeling overwhelmed about keeping everything clean and just gives up before he even starts. Maybe try having him just put away his shoes and coat and then once he masters that you can add another thing like keeping his books picked up etc. We all tend to forget that little people are not small adults and can't do it all like we can. I too am a neat freak and I feel your pain my dear!! Good Luck!!