Here is a quick over view of my situation......

I have been "babysitting" a six month old for one month on Tues. There is also a two year old that is with the maternal grandparents who are dear friends of mine. The mother is losing her job and her home and is essentially on her own. The father is in Tx. (we are in MI) and the mother has accused him of drug abuse and physical abuse. His mother also had a ppo on him at some point so I hear. Neither is capapble of being a decent parent at this time. Now the mom is considering sending the two children to the dad and his mother so she can get back on her feet. The children are doing fantastic where they are. My question is..........

has anyone ever dealt with a situation like this?

Do I or the grandparents have any rights since we've had the kids so long already?( mom has only seen baby twice and has not provided for her)

Dad has not provided at all for children and has never seen 6 month old, what are his rights and how considerate is the law of him in this case?

Any advise would be appreciated....

Momrajum

Does the father want them? Is the mother willing to give you leagal guardianship for a specified amount of time (in Michigan these orders have to be re-done every year).

In Michigan the grandparents have no legal rights to their grandchildren. If the mother chooses to leave the kids with you guys, you must have legal documentation. But depending on what county you are in (Wayne county is the pits when dealing with the FOC...Jackson county is swift) they might just decide to put the kids in foster care for a time.

Without knowing all the details it is hard to say...why now does the mom want to send the kids to their father?

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#3 Gone To Race In A Better Place...

is thier an abandonment law??If a parent leaves a child for that long wouldnt it be considered abandoment & the state would step in not sure just a thought

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mom of 3 greats girls

I don't know if the father wants them. I think the mom brought up sending them to him as a threat or something, that was my feeling anyway. But she says that she just wants him to keep them until she is back on her feet. SHe thinks her parents have pull they don't have as far as the people they know in the community, specifically one of the judges, and even if they did they wouldn't use it. THey suggested adoption and that freaked her out, but not enough to come get her kids.

The mom is just in a difficult place, losing her job and home, and she doesn't want to move back in with her parents. She was adopted herself at age 12 so the relationship has been rocky.

I think that I've probably shared most of the pertinent information. The only other thing is that initially it was the grandparents idea to take the kids for a week so she could work alot of hours. She had just spent the week in the hospital with the baby and had to take that time off of a new job. The baby had rsv (what a mess) I took the baby because I've cared for her frequently and she responds well to me. The baby is fine now by the way. Anyway, a week has turned into a month...........

As far as abandonment is concerned, I'm not sure what the laws are. I tried to look on the internet but wasn't able to find anything really. We are in Northern Michigan if that helps. Very small town..........

Thanks to all

Momraju

I would say your best bet would be to contact a good lawyer and find out what can and can't be done.
I don't know about where you are, but here there are lawyers you can call for a one time consultation at no charge. I'm sure a lawyer could answer your questions.

Another idea. Do you have child protective in your arrea. A call to them could maybe provide some answers.

I might add that since you're not a family member it might be difficult for you to get the baby since you're not certified as a foster parent. But if the bio mother would sign guardianship to you that would solve the problem.

If the mother sends the children to the father, no matter how temporary she intends it to be, she may have much more difficulty getting them back than she's thinking. You might want to point this out to her.
If she can make temporary provisions on her own for the children, she'll stand a much better chance of getting them back when she's ready than if FDC gets involved.

Wishing you luck.

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Barb


My GOD Bless our Country and our Troops, and rid the World of terroists.

I did warn her that a temporary situation with the dad may not be temporarry and that he and his family will not have her interests at heart, but their own. SHe seemed very naive about what they might do.

Could the father fight a temporary custody order? Does he even have to know if he's not even involved with them?

I don't think you would even have to go so far as to be granted temporary custody. If she signs a document giving you power of attorney to act on behalf of the child for Dr's appointments etc... that is all you need.

I guess I am missing something here, does the mother NOT want her parents and you to have the children any longer. Is the father in a better position to care for the children? It is a shame that they are seperated (the siblings).

I guess it would all be in what the motives are...do you want to keep the baby permanetly? Does her parents want the same thing of the other children?

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#3 Gone To Race In A Better Place...

The father is not in a better position, and he's never even seen the baby, and his mother has a terrible reputation. I don't know her, but I mentioned her to someone today and the reaction was not good. (they didn't say anything, just that they knew her and it probably wouldn't be the best place for the girls)

The mother panicked when her parents mentioned possibly having them adopted if she didn't want to care for them, that is the only reason she considered the father. So it's not that she doesn't want us caring for the kids, she's just afraid of the actions her parents might take. She just doesn't understand that they wouldn't do anything without talking to her about it first. But because she can be devious, she thinks others will be too.

I wish the girls were together too, however, I don't think they were together very much with her either. Rarely would she let me sit for both of them for some reason. I always said I would. We get the girls together some though, and they see each other several times a week at church.

I would take both the kids if I felt that is what God was leading me to do. I am 40 and my dh is 42, so we aren't TOO old, lol. I love the children dearly, and it would not be a sacrifice.

It's so hard to explain everything on here. What I think I've decided to do is to just talk to the mom about having guardianship, and let things play out. Please pray for these precious babies....

Thanks Momrajum

The grandparents have no rights in Michigan but if they can show neglect such as the fact the children spend more time with them and you than the mother they may be able to go after temporary emergency custody. My friends did that with their two grandsons years ago and guess what they are still raising the boys. They were 1 1/2 and the other was a few months old. The boys are now 13 & 14. I say hire an lawyer pronto.

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MyCoupons Is #1 For Holiday Shopping

I guess I see your point, but we don't want to make this a battle. We WANT to help her do the right thing. However, we can't make her and I think this situation might turn out like the one you mentioned. That is why I think I will just suggest to her that she give me guardianship. I really appreciate everyone's thoughts on this. I'm in a whole new arena and just have no idea how to deal with this. What I do know is that these children are thriving where they are right now, and they are ultimately what really matters.

Thanks, Momrajum

Since the mother is at a low point and the children are seperated and you are in a financial safe place could you invite her into your home to nurture her children and get on her feet?
That would be the ideal situation with a time limit and your help you may be able to achieve what the mother is not currently able to do.

I do think your best bet is to try to work something out with the mom, before you get a lawyer involved. She may get scared and just take the kids away. Obviously if that does not work, you can try the lawyer route. Have you spoken to the Grandparents that have the other child about your concerns about the children going to the fathers house?

This post is over a year old.

Hey I didnt even notice that. I wonder what ended up happening.