My DD came home from school Monday and said that had been put in ISS(in school suspension) for disrupting the class(all she did was laugh out loud but she had a Sub and I guess she didn't like it). So yesterday she comes home and says that they told her she had not been punished enough so she was made to go back for another day. The teacher who's class she was sent to yesterday forgot that my child was even there and took her regular class to lunch and left my DD in there by herself with no lunch!!! DD didn't say anything because they are told not to speak or get out of their seats because they don't want them disrupting the main class so she was afraid that she would get in more trouble if she spoke up. She sat there all day with nothing to eat and at the end of the day the teacher told her that she had forgotten she was even threre. I am so mad right now!!! DD has ADHD and sometimes even on her medication she's very fidgety and can't help some things that she does because her mind just races from one thing to another.

I emailed the principal and told her what had happened but did I get a phone call or a response to my email. NO!! I will be calling tomorrow and finding out why this was allowed to happen and why she couldn't respond to my inquiry. I fear that nothing will be done about because this is a very political county and the principal's family founded the school and we're very high ups in the government around here so she has alot of pull in this area. There is no excuse for not letting her have her lunch and I feel that the teacher should be reprimanded.

Anyway thanks for letting me vent.

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"Let me watch my children grow to see what they become
Lord don't let that cold wind blow til I'm too old to die young'

How old is your DD?
Why was she sent to someone elses class?
I would think any teacher should be able to handle this.. If not , a guidance director or principal comes to mind next.

She's going to be 10 at the end of March. When they do in school suspension they just pick a teacher's classroom and send them there because they don't have a separate classroom for in school suspension.
I'm just furious about the whole thing.

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"Let me watch my children grow to see what they become
Lord don't let that cold wind blow til I'm too old to die young'

That's the silliest rule I've ever heard of -- just picking a different teacher and putting a child in it! Most schools with in-school suspension have a class especially for that -- that's the punishment -- to make the child sit in the classroom and do work all day.

Why didn't your daughter just get up and go with the class when the teacher took the class to lunch? Sometimes I just don't understand our school system. How can a teacher just 'forget' about a child? I know they have 20 or more kids in their class, but to forget about a child -- there's no excuse for that. Did you talk to the teacher who forgot her?

Instead of sending an e-mail, you should have called the principal. I wouldn't care WHO or how 'high-up' the principal is!! Since this teacher wasn't your child's usual teacher, I think I would talk to the principal about it. Sounds like the in-school suspension needs a little adjustment.

I would be furious too, if that was my child with no lunch all day, regardless of the situation she should have been provided lunch, water breaks, bathroom breaks etc. If you get no response from the principal, remind them that this COULD be a child neglect case and reported to DHS. Withholding food as punishment is child abuse and essentially that is what happened whether they MEANT for it to happen or not. I used to investigate child abuse and neglect and their INTENT makes no difference, what happened was that she was denied food as a form of punishment, in most states that is considered child abuse. I wouldn't leave it to email, maybe they were out of the office, maybe they have to investigate and are covering their butts at this point. I would make a trip into the school personally and talk to the principal, if you get no results, call the superintendant. I wouldn't even discuss it with the teacher, I would go directly to the principal as she needs to know that this is going on in her school. When a child is in care of the teacher they are considered the "child care provider" during the time your child is with them, they are under the same laws, guidelines for child abuse as parents and babysitters, day care providers.

I couldn't agree more

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

I remember one time my DD was in a parade both same grade classes were together. Her teacher bought water bottles for both classes and the other teacher refused to let the kids have the water. It was 109 degrees outside, they were only out for about 90 minutes, but by the end of the hour one kid was throwing up from the heat, 2 other were sick, everyone's face was beat red with sweat dripping. And this would have been considered child abuse for withholding drinks (under the circumstances) and I did discuss this with the pricipal and she did handle it and the teacher was reprimanded. That teachers contract was also not renewed at the end of the year, she had some other issues happen too, not just that.

mom2twins2 she didn't get up because they are told not to get out of their seat or talk unless they are called on so she was afraid to say anything because she wasn't called upon and she didn't want to get in anymore trouble.

I will definitely be talking directly to the principal tommorow. I decided to send an email first so I would have a "hard copy" of my complaint and also to give myself a chance to cool off a little because if I had went today I would have probably been escorted out. The principal is new this year but I have co-workers who's children had her last year as principal of a neighboring school and all I hear from them is "Good luck because she's a b*@!*" She's in really tight with the school superintendent also so I may end up havng to take my complaint to state level if I can't get anything done here.

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"Let me watch my children grow to see what they become
Lord don't let that cold wind blow til I'm too old to die young'

Good Luck,

We went through something similar with my ds (also adhd). His teacher refused to let him go to the nurse to take his meds if she thought the line at the nurses office was too long. She didn't want him to miss class or something silly like that. She'd have NO problem giving him ISS though when he got fidgety because he missed his meds. We went round and round with the teacher, principal, and superintendent. I was fighting for his rights and all it got him was labeled as a problem for teachers to deal with. I think you should fight for your dd's rights, but be prepared for whatever backlash follows. Esp if she has all the connections and attitude that you say she has.

That is terrible
No child should have to go thru that kind of ordeal for laughing!
Go over the principals head .
Even principals have some one over them!

I would have the news and your local child protection agency at the school tomorrow.

PLEASE make sure you put this in writing, if you don't "it never happened".....also ask that the complaint be put in that teachers permanent file.

I agree with fletchersmom, be prepared for a major backlash....we went head to head with a kindergarten teacher at the beginning of this year and it was the best thing that could have happened for our child...because now she is getting a wonderful education at home. Good Luck its gonna be a rough ride.

Let us know how it goes.

I am a teacher, and I feel an in school suspension is rather severe for what your DD did. First of all, I have the belief that I handle all discipline. I rarely raise my voice, but by the seriousness of my tone and the "look" I give my students know I mean business when my directions or requests are ignored. I handle discipline this way because I stated teaching high school in my 20's and didn't want young men and women a few years younger than I to think I couldn't handle my job and their behavior.
My only defense for the prinicipal not returning you call is they may not have talked to all parties involved to get all the facts.
I strongly believe not allowing your DD to have lunch was absolutely wrong and in some places may even be a violation of law.
Our school has in school suspension. There is a room (12 x 20) approximately that is used for meetings that is part of the office. The student is given assignments to work on instead of attending their classes and the child spends the day in that roomBathroom breaks are scheduled , but I do not monitor that so I don't know the schedule. The principal meets with the child at points throughout the day and the guidance counselor also meets with them during the day. I also believe lunch is delivered to them to be eaten in this room. This keeps them isolated from friends. Our school developed it because with working parents students just ended up with a day off to stay home, or the homelife left something to be desired and there was not productive follow through at home to have the experience of suspension a punishment. For some students it was a reward. Please ... I do not mean to indicate this is the case for you. I also believe the in school suspension at our school can only occur when parents have been notified, etc., because if it is one of my students who misbehaved somewhere in the building (we switch classes 8 periods a day). I receive a notice from the principal to provide work to him for that student for that day or days.
I hope your DD is doing well. THis had to be very hard for someone who has difficulty controlling all of their movements and vocializations. I pray she will continue to see school as a positive place again soon after you have successfully resolved this issue.
I see several wrongs in what has happened and hopefully you can bring about changes to prevent something as cruel as this from happening again to any child.

NO lunch? I'd be livid.. I hope something prevails!

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Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like. - Will Rogers

I have learned to become patient and calm since my kids were in grade school, but if something like this would have hapenned to them I probaly would have thrown a huge fit in the office!
You must continue to persue this until you are satisfied with the results.
This is too much for a child to go thru.
Give her a big hug from me!!!

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Square dancing is friendship set to music!

Taters

How did it go?

In the school district where I work it is REQUIRED that any and all communication from a parent MUST BE RESPONDED TO WITHIN 24 HOURS. This rule is in the district policy. Even if the "response" is, "we have received your complaint and we are doing research on our end....." kind of answer, we still MUST have a response to the communication (whether it was a letter, e-mail, phone call or whatever from the parent) within the 24 hr period -- of course, unless it is a weekend. This has worked well in our system be cause parents do not have to sit there and guess whether or not they are being heard and/or listened to. Also, if we have an in-school suspension, the child goes and sits in the front office and is given a packet of work that will take them through the day. Sometimes, if there are too many children, they are also put on one of the Asst. Principal's offices (we are a middle school--6-8th grade, so, as you can imagine, there are days we can have a lot of kids on in-school suspension.) Personally speaking, I think what you have experienced is really out of the norm. What I would suggest is to write (putting something in writing is ALWAYS so much more effective because it cannot be said "I never got the message" or any other excuse) a letter to the Superintendent with a cc to the Principal expressing your frustration that you have not been heard or responded to. The superintendent has to answer to the school board, and he will not be happy to have to explain to the board why the principal was so non-responsive. Don't let this go because you might think it is a "small" thing....it isn't. Good luck!

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"Well-Behaved Women SELDOM make history."Laurel Thatcher Ulrich


"Yesterday is but a vision, and tomorrow is only a dream. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a dream of hope." Anonymous

"Your candle does not lose it's light by lighting another candle" Generosity

Have the courage to be yourself.

Please keep a log with dates and times of EVERY interactiion..We had issues last year with my twins teacher (in the same class)..To make a long story short, I hope, my son was very stressed( and didn't understand) some discipline actions he received, as well as the class, over very minor things-ie zipping up the zipper on his pant leg for example while the teacher was reading..Being a "good" kid, he became very stressed, felt he was "bad", and at home it came to the point he was hiding in the closet-he was age 8..We requested assistance from the teacher who adamanty refused over and over again to help us and recieved no help from the prinicipal either ..then my son came home from school, sad,because he had "lost his chair". He had sat with his foot under his butt while writing quietly in his journal and didn't put it down when she addressed the class she said..Because of this he had his chair taken away and was made to stand, kneel etc at his desk for then 3.5 hours..He still did not have a chair the next day..I was Furious to say the least. We Went to the Superintended with documentation of every interaction from both parties etc..Readilly helped our case..Not sure the teacher's true outcome, but do believe she was disciplined and its in her file..She has had issues with other parents but I don't believe anyone had ever pursued it..Since I had kept every detail on any interactions, we had a vey well documented case..Please continue to pursue this and "protect" other kids..If someone had done this in the past with our teacher, my son would not have lost all his self esteem etc ..I'm very glad we pursued it to help our son, as well as others in future classes..I wish I had known then that teachers are under the "child care provider rules"..Is this documented somewhere??

Wow! I would be beyond furious! Don't schools have to get parents to sign some sort of authorization form before their child can be disciplined by suspension? I think that you should have at least been contacted before your child was even placed in suspension to discuss the problem. I know that kids don't often see things the way adults do, so I suspect that the sub's account of what happened will be different than your daughters. Regardless, I would expect that if a rule infaction is found by the teacher/school to be severe enough to justify two days of suspension, then it should justify a phone call to the parent!

And, about her missing lunch, I'm just speechless! I would insist that action be taken or I would report it to the school superintendent. I would also follow throught with whatever the formal written complaint process is. If you're ignored, I think that this is just the thing that newspapers love to hear about. Perhaps, if they had a community to answer to, they may be backed into a corner.

Good luck and keep us iupdated!!

I'm sorry you dd didn't get her lunch. Our school also has the children go to different classes for misbehaving, or in school suspension. In my dd's class they sit in a back room that the teacher uses for storage and parents sit to grade papers. I can see where a teacher might forget a child in this case. I don't think that a teacher would ever want to leave a child behind on purpose. I would also want more information on why the sub felt she should be on in school suspension. I have been in classes that were always well behaved but when a sub is there you would not even recognize the children.

I finally got in touch with the school (they did not bother contacting me) and basically they are putting all the blame on her. The VP says that she should have gotten up when the teacher called for her class to go to lunch. I explained to him that she was under the impression that she was to do nothing unless she was directly addressed by name but he just said "well she should have known to get up" and he also said that he didn't know where she got that idea because he had never heard that. Well somebody had to tell her that or she wouldn't have thought that. I also found out that she was seated behind a screen so the other class would not disturb her so the teacher couldn't even see her! I asked why the teahcer didn't walk around there to make sure that my DD had gotten up and he just kept saying she should have known better. The kicker was when i told him that intentional or not this incident was child neglect and he went completely silent. He didn't know what to say after that.

I don't consider this matter closed because I'm not satisfied with the response I got. As far as I know the teacher wasn't even reprimanded. I will be making a phone call to the school board on Monday to make them aware of this. Thank you all for listening and for your concern.

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"Let me watch my children grow to see what they become
Lord don't let that cold wind blow til I'm too old to die young'

Taters

First, I don't understand why a teacher would leave a child in a classroom by themselves. Why is the child the one supposed to know. The teacher/adult is in charge and that is what responsible parents drill into their kids on a daily basis. Of course she didn't say anything. It was the teachers(both of them-her homeroom AND the teacher that took your child in their classroom)fault!! I am so upset about this.....blaming a child...of course she not going to say anything...she's already in trouble and now she's surrounded by people she doesn't know. Everyone in that classroom knew she was in there because shes in trouble, so of course she doesn't want to call anymore attention to herself. I hope you get this resolved soon!

Please keep me updated I would love to know what the school board has to say!

The school is responsible for your daughter's safety in case of fire or emergency as well. If the child is not accounted for, there could be the possibility of injury/abuse by an unknown source.

Rebeccca

Hey Taters!!! How did the school board react?

I didn't have a chance to call them today. I unexpectdly had to work graveyard shift last night and I overslept today. I will be calling bright and early in the morning. I'll let you know.
Thanks for your concern.

__________________
"Let me watch my children grow to see what they become
Lord don't let that cold wind blow til I'm too old to die young'

boy I know about oversleeping!!! Good Luck Tomorrow!

So what happened, did you call them? I hope they are taking care of this serious issue.

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Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

They're aware of my complaint and are looking in to it is what I'm told. I guess they were contacted by the school first. Talking to our school board director is like talking to a brick wall. I've spoken my piece though and as bad as I hate to I need to move on so my DD can get back to normal. She's complained of a tummy ache ever since this happened and I just need to help her get over it so she can get back to enjoying herself again. Thanks to everyone for your concern.

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"Let me watch my children grow to see what they become
Lord don't let that cold wind blow til I'm too old to die young'

Have you talked to the sub at all to find out if there was more to the story than you heard from your daughter? I'm not suggesting that your daughter was lying - just that sometimes, there is an adult version of events, and a children's version. I am a former school teacher, and recall a student going home and sincerely explaining to his mom that all he did was ask his neighbor for a pencil and I made him stay in from recess. The asking for a pencil was actually the final straw. He was taking a standardized test, where there was to be no talking whatsoever, and had already caused three disruptions, and the rule was if you needed a pencil that you should raise your hand and I'd bring a fresh one. So yes, he was telling the truth - he asked for a pencil so he could do his work. But in the bigger picture, he did several other things, and knew I was going to call his mom about them. I believe he pre-emptively told his mother the version in which he was most innocent as a means of self-protection. It's a natural response to which even the best kids default if they think they'll be in trouble.

Regarding lunch, is it that they denied her lunch, or overlooked her for lunch? If it was a matter of simply overlooking her, I would say something to make sure they know that's not alright. If a sub was in place, and she assumed the other classroom's teacher would take her with those children, and the school's policy is that the referring teacher go collect her isolated student (but the sub didn't realize this), I can see how it was simply a matter of mis-communication. While the law might or might not care about intent, on a personal level, when you're dealing with someone who wasn't at the faculty meetings on day one, someone who is dealing with a room full of 20 kids whose names she's trying to learn, etc., there are going to be issues. I assume they just told the sub that if someone was unruly to a point that she could not handle their behavior that she had the option of sending them to another classroom to sit quietly and do her work. She probably did that, and assumed the other teacher then "became" her teacher, and that she did lunch with that group.

I can see why your daughter would've been afraid to speak up if she was already in trouble. As a passive and compliant child myself, I would've been! But... it's probably good to teach kids respectful assertiveness, so that they know how to navigate choppy waters like that in a way that doesn't give the impression that they're trying to cause trouble.

Please don't think I'm bringing any of this up based on the presumption that your daughter wasn't really neglected, or that she wasn't telling you the truth. I just saw too many instances where the kids version that went home to Mom had much more logical, rational information behind it that the child, in his/her limited, youthful, self-focussed (not absorbed - that's different! ) world just didn't fully appreciate... and all too often, the moms would cause a row at school based on the child's information without just first trying to see what happened to cause the problem from the other adults.

I recall confiscating a Super Soaker water gun from an 8th grader who got home and called his mom at work in a town an hour away, crying that he thought I'd changed the rules about water guns at school, that I'd allowed the other kids to have them, and that I took his away for no reason at all. The real story was that the day before, we'd had a water day in the park, and we provided squirt guns for some of the activities. Never did we say, "New school rule - bring your water arsenal tomorrow!" He knew better. By the time the mom had called me, chewed me out, and told me she was driving all the way to town to meet me at the school in an hour so she could retreive the gun, well, it was all but impossible for her to back down, when she was clearly acting out of the imsinformation she was initially given. She couldn't save face... so she kept at it, and it totally worked against her.

So... please just make sure you have a good handle on everything before making accusations. Negative information about your daughter's behavior in class might become fodder in school board meetings trying to figure out what/who was reasonable, and that would only serve to make things worse.

ETA: As much as I love my own kids, there are things that happen right in front of their faces that they don't process. lol Is it possible that her own teacher takes in ISS kids frequently enough that your daughter should've "noticed" whe they go to lunch, and that they are presuming that without being told, she should've synthesized that information that she witnesses daily? My own kids never know what TIME they have lunch - they just know it's after Math! If your DD wasin't in the room for 'math,' I can see how she wouldn't know what time to anticipate lunch, if the coursework was her "marker"... rather than the clock.

What a great post! I think you are 100% correct in your advice. I work as a sub at a local school and I cannot tell you the amount of times that I have seen a major miscommunication between students, parents and staff. When I have had to send a student to the office with a referral, it amazes me what some of the students can come up with from the time they leave the classroom to the time they arrive in the office. Having said that, I in no way am saying the child in this case is not telling the truth, but I do think its a great idea to make sure that facts are 100% accurate before taking any major steps. I am hoping that this situation is settled and that it does not have a lasting impact on the child. No child should go without lunch, and hopefully this will never happen again.

wowitsdark Thank you for your great insight. I did find out there was a little more to her reason for being in ISS. What bothered me the most was that I was told by the school that ISS students are put behind a screen so the other students won't bother them and the teacher can't even see them. I felt that the teacher should have had enough common sense to check to see if she had gotten up before leaving the room considering she could not see her. I'm moving on now so DD can move on. this really upset her and scared her a little but now it's time to let it go. Thanks again.

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"Let me watch my children grow to see what they become
Lord don't let that cold wind blow til I'm too old to die young'

I'm so glad you've found some sort of resolution, Taters. I really don't blame you for feeling frustrated.

I remember the first time my son got time out in 1st grade, the music teacher sent him straight to the office, without any warning, and it was actually the fault of the child sitting right beside my son!

Or at least, that's what my son told me, and what got me all hot under the collar! lol The music teacher told me that he had been separated from that boy the week prior and told not to sit by him again. He had been called down twice for talking that period, and on the third strike, you go to the office. I tell ya... it was a humbling experience! lol!

It's a tough thing, all around, whether you're the teacher trying to deal with issues on the fly while still maintaining control of 20 other kids... or the parent who needs to both make sure the child is treated fairly, but that the information being shared at home is not just the truth, but the whole big-picture truth, or the administration, who needs to be fair, appease and accomodate parents, and act on information from teachers about what happened that sometimes is biased because the teacher, too, is protecting her own tush. Dealing with these things is, IMHO, the single most difficult part of school!