My son ( 2nd grader) is in wrestling for the first year....He is on what is consider "exabition"..They wrestle in groups after varsity and JV..... not the issue....for past couple of weeks, an older boy (6th grader) has been making nasty remarks about my older daughter who is also in 6th grade...I told him to walk away, ignore it, the child was obvsousely not worth dealing with.....

Last night at practice, my son dropped his water bottle and the kid started teasing him.... and was using the F word... Of course son did not say anthing b/c I told him to ignore him.... We were on our way to meet the team at a different school to get weighed in for a match and he tells me this... Am I was fit to be tied....when the kid came out of the room where they were getting weighed, I approached him and said, I would like to speak to him and his Mom so we walked over....the kid KNEW he is in trouble, I could tell... I said calmly that I would appreciate it if she asked her son to stay away from mine as I was tired of comments he ws making about my daughter and I do not want anyone using that kind of language in front of him... The Mom got nasty and said she would "deal with him at home" which is all I wanted..... As I am about to walk away she starts yelling at me for everyone else to hear, that she does not appreciate being told about what happened in public and that I should have called her and on and on blowing the entire thing out of proprtion!!!!!

She then leaves with her son and as we are leaving, I hear her screaming in the parking lot at the coach what a B---- I am (yes same lady who does not want eveyone to know her kid is a bully)and her son would never pick on anyone and would never use foul language.... ( I heard him call her a B---- in the parking lot once or twice after practice b/c she was late picking him up so they must all use the word freely)....so I went over and said ALL I ask is that he not talk to my son and if he has something to say about my daughter he is welcome to say it to her!!! NOT that my daughter even KNOWS this kid other then to see him in passing in the hallway and when I asked who he was she just said he did not run in her friends and was not in her classes since hers are all honors classes.... our middle school combines 3 elementray schools so I am sure sooner or later they will have to interact.....

She then storms off when I told her that again if he wanted to say something to my daughter he was more then welcome b/c I am sure she will let him know exactly what she thinks of him.... The coach says I should have came to him..but with 60 kids to coach in an hour...not likely he has the time.... and that he believes my son given the past history of the child, but I should understand he has had it rough since his Dad is in Iraq right now...THIS HAD ME FUMING..... SO every kid whose Dad joins the Military out of his own free will has the right to harass other kids..... I kept my mouth shut but I am still fuming.....................................My spouse WAS also in the military but did not want to away from his kids so he left when his time was up.... Yes I feel sorry that Military families go through sperations, but I do not believe it gives them the right to do as they please and its no big surprise that that is a part of military life ..... and if his behaviour is such an issue, the Dad can always apply for a family related discharge! I a was so upset I just left.......

It seems so prevalent today that no one has any sense of personal responsibility. Using the excuse that the dad is away is ridiculous. Allowing a child to bully and use foul language is just bad parenting. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. From your description, it sounds like you handled it well - approaching her and letting her know what the problem is. That's better than going behind her back and bad mouthing her which is how many people would have handled it. She probably wouldn't have gotten so defensive if you hadn't hit a nerve -- she know deep down there's a problem but she's not willing to admit it. Like I said, there's no sense of personal responsibility any more. I hope the situation improves.

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Cecilia

"We must love them both--those whose opinions we share and those whose opinions we reject. For both have labored in the search for truth, and both have helped us in the finding of it."
Saint Thomas Aquinas

So my son can say that because his parents divorced and his father moved out of town that he is allowed to be rude and use foul language? Bull this mother did not allow her son to have any excuses. If anything I would think the child would want to put forward a good image to honor his father.

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Laura
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To me the coach is trying to use that excuse to calm everything down. or the lady is trying to get the coach to pity her!

Some kids do act out when the father is in a War. It's pretty common. Both of my kids did this..One was getting angry easily and the other one grades drop...But I address the issue with both of my kids and we worked everything out together! It something a parent needs to address immediately !!The mother or coach is WRONG!! She needs to get to the bottom of her son behavior!!

You already done your part if it happens again I would talk to the coach and tell him you want him to address & correct the problem immediately! You son should NOT have to face this at practice. If the boy can't handle his angry then he needs to be dropped from the team!

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Angels may not come when you call them, but they'll always be there when you need them.

One year, when my ds1 was a boy scout, a fellow b.s was giving him a very hard time. I believe my ds1 was 12..and this boy was maybe 14? He called my ds a faggot relentlessly...threw sticks at him, etc. I called the scout leader and he told me basically the same thing..that this boy's dad and mom are divorced, and I should understand...W.T.F.???!!!!

I agree with a PP..now a days..you can not tell anyone , anything when it comes to their kids. For what it is worth, I think you handled it right the way you did. I bet if you called her, she would still banshee on you, no doubt. I probably would not have gone to her the 2nd time in the parking lot though..

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Live, Love, Laugh

oh, you know what ? I guess I should add to the above post that during this time, it was on a navy base, both my ds1 and the other boy scout had military family members. My dh and the other boy had a mom in the navy. I did, btw, try to talk to the mom about her son, and she got very nasty and catty so there you go...

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Live, Love, Laugh

Well the good news is that it pretty much ended there. I had a similar thing happen and it ended with the police at my door. In June we had a little argurment for baseball. He is the president of baseball. Well this past week I went to sign my son up for baseball and when I walked in everyone looked at me. I didn't think anything about it. Went up to pay and the guy said $100 I wrote out my check and he looked at me with a grin and said "he can't play here anymore." I looked at him and said why and he said because of June. Which wasn't that big of a deal he yelled at me I yelled at him. Well my 8 year old was standing there so I didn't want to cause a scene so I said Ok and walked away. Later that night the police came and he told the police that in June I said I was going to kill him. Me kill him? I asked the police why he didn't do this in June instead of infront of my entire community and the police said that this was just crazy and I had nothing to worry about. I am still so embarassed.

People love to cause a scene. I think that if they are loud enough people will agree with them. I don't get it. But I do feel for you and understand what you are going through.
People are NUTS!

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mystuffforsale19

That's ok when your son is in college her son will be behind bars. Why? because she has no clue that children need guidance. I know that my four can be brats, but when they are out and about town or at school they use their please and thank you's. You can tell the children that have guidance and the ones that don't. Children should not if at all possiable be around any adult that can not control their actions or mouth.