This is something I 've really had to work on over ther years. I have no reason to be, but if my dh tells me about any women at his work...I immediately want to know what they look like and if they are married, single, etc. Is anyone else like this and how do you handle it? I hate this about myself

Christine

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TLJ ~ Women United in Spirit

Not me...

If my dh gets a girlfriend that's just one less thing I have to do....

I have struggled with it as well. I am truly a work in progress. I have had to constantly say it in my head, he loves me, he married me. Poor DH has done nothing to make me suspect anything, it is my own low self esteem and short comings. Maybe others have been there and beat it?

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" Even though life can be a very long, hard, stressful and never-ending journey, never lose hope in what you want the most."

OMG - that is so funny!!!
Thanks for the laugh!!!

Not jealous at all. I feel the same way as the other poster, takes the pressure off me. Yeah!!

For many years this was me. But 20+ years later, I have to say GO FOR IT, Really there's nothing I could do to stop it if my now hubby wanted to cheat .

But it helps to know that in order for him to cheat he would have to do it after i go to sleep which will not happen lol.

DH works 6 days a week up to 13 hrs aday,

We both joke about him cheating on me at times, I just remind him. WE HAVE 4 KIDS, Thats alot of child support to have to pay for the next 15 years LOL. I swear I can see his color leaving his face when i tell him this, it's almost like he's going to pass out from that thought LOL.

Op my Mother has told me for years and years, a Jealous soul is a miserable soul and it's very very true. If your hubby loves you like he should there will be no worry about him cheating, However, the best think I can tell you is to never ever accuse him of cheating, it's like telling him I dare ya when a man hears that, they will do it just because you have accused him of doing it in 90% of the cases.

Try not to let another woman ruin you day when he tells you about them , remember if hes wanting to cheat the last thing he's going to tell you is about his side kick..

good luck it will get better .

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MyCoupons Is #1 for Holiday Shopping

Nope. If it's going to happen, it's going to happen whether I'm jealous or not. I am not going to take years off my life worrying about it. That said, he's never given me a reason to not trust him. He travels quite a bit and I would be a wreck if I worried about it. Plus sometimes being jealous could actually run him off. I had a jealous boyfriend once and it got old really quick. I've always told him if he chooses to cheat, she better be worth it because it'll cost him half of everything plus his kids! We've been together 21 years and married 17, so it looks like it'll probably last!

Lisa

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"It's not having what you want,
It's wanting what you've got"

My hubby and his friends have a saying "It's cheaper to keep'er" I think thats funny!!!

No I'm not a jealous person.

Not would I be if my husband was a flirt or had a roving eye......I don't know....My husband makes me feel very secure.....been together 12 years and married for 10.....why worry about it?Its like a car crash...there is nothing you can do to prevent it anyway..so relax about it and let it go. I'm sure that's easier said than done. But you can do it.

I have a tendency to be a jealous person, but not about my husband. He is the most wonderful guy. We've been married 34 years and he is very true to his faith and beliefs. Once a buddy said when the two were golfing what if...the guy was amazed. He told me my husband said he could never for an instant consider another woman, and when if I pass on first and he is still able to move he may date, but would never feel this way about anyone else and could never remarry. I was happy, but not totally surprised. I am the luckiest woman alive!!!
I am jealsou that a male coworker that is the laziest fellow going got a promotion over me. He works in the building where the opening originated, but that does not mean someone else couldn't be a department head. I just felt insulted, had several individuals have been chosen I would have felt they just impressed the interviewers as the best candidate. There are several individuals, both male and female that I would have felt were good, legitimate choices, but this guy is not.
Enough said, what 's done is done, I've vented and now time to pick myself up and get back to doing what needs done. I guess I feel so bad as to knowing how he impresses me as a big goof....what do these people think of me?

I am not anymore I used to be terrible now I figure no one would want my dh & if they did they can have him, I would never want a cheater.

And I have figured out now since hes a college graduate with a great job he would be paying more in CS than he gives me a week now for bills that I think also makes him rethink things LOL!!!

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mom of 3 greats girls

I think if you are more secure, you can have a much better relationship and therefore make you feel better about yourself.

My DH tells me everything they talk about at work (sometimes too much), but with 12 men together, you know right where the conversation goes. I am his best friend the one he can tell anything to and we have so much more fun talking about other women, or how stupid some of his divorced friends are because they treated their wives so bad.

It would drive me CRAZY if he was overprotective and I would imagine it would be the same if I was with him. You shouldn't have to watch what you say because you might upset your wife, like if he talked to another woman at work. He should be able talk and share everything without being judged.

It's great that you can talk about it and are trying, it gets easier with practice.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

I tend to get jealous sometimes, like right now actually my husband got hired recently with a girl on a police force. I dont think that he likes her but I know that she likes him, they were partners (just her and him) and I'd be calling him just to let her know that he's mine. I got especially PO'd 2X -
1st time -- we had to park by this girls apartment to go to my daughters school and my husband had barely stepped out of our truck and she's yelling up the block to him!
2nd time -- we went to a XMAS party and I didnt even have the door closed behind us and already she's running up to talk to him, she didnt see me, and she went to hug him - luckily for him he put out his hand.

But today which is both of their days off, he called her. Now I had called him and said "what are you doin?" then he said oh I just got off the phone with ____" so i was like oh ok but then when I got home I had to check his phone to see who called who and how long they talked _ 18 min. I hate when he works with cute girls!! Now I don't think that he would actually ever do anything but I still get jealous, I think it's kinda normal, I figure if ever I don't care if he likes someone else or if someone else likes him it would mean that I really dont care about us anymore.

my husband used to be super jealous of me even when I was out with my girlfriends. I would tell him all the time, relax, you got the girl...you won! I started "playing" his game just so he saw how it really felt to be constantly called when I was out, constantly told I was cheating on him (what??), and smothering him. Good lord! I don't know how anyone does it! To be THAT consumed with thoughts that a person is going to leave you even though you are in a secure and loving relationship. He finally got it! He backed off and I have never been happier with my marriage! I asked him a few days ago what changed and he said...well, I know you could never leave me, I make more money than you...ha! I know how to coupon and don't give my money away THAT easy! Really, he was kidding. He just realized he gets more sleep if he doesn't consume himself with thoughts of me leaving him. I told my mother in law last night I could never die before him because we have a very ornery 2 year old and I don't think I could leave him with the boy! I left them alone yesterday and was called at work every two hours asking...when are you coming home...I need to sleep. It's not my fault he stayed up until 3:30 playing video games! Our son was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at 8:30...hahahahaha!!

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My Dh says he can't live on $20.00 a month so he is better off to stay with me and the kids. I asked him what made him so sure he would even get that much when I got done because he would be lucky to be left with a fork, spoon, or a crumb.

I use to get extremely jealous but anymore things just do not bother me. You need to find ways to secure yourself or this will just eat you up.

Hard question - feel free to ignore it if it's too nosey - for those who used to be jealous but are no longer, is it something that you have overcome or because you no longer have the same feelings about your relationship????

cj/

Funny!

My DH always says that anything is cheaper than a divorce lawyer!

I used to be a very jealous, insecure person.
I had a lot of other problems too.
Now I am on anti-depressants and have a whole new life!

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Square dancing is friendship set to music!

Nope - not jealous here. I trust my hubby, then again, he doesn't work with any women that are young and pretty. I'm not trying to be mean, but the four women he does work with are all older, married and definitely not lookers. I honestly don't know how I would feel if he did work with young, pretty and single women. I definitely wouldn't want him to be talking on the phone with them on his time off.

Luckily, DH is not the jealous type either.

I do joke around with DH about one of his good guy friends because they go to lunch about 1-2 times a week and play golf sometimes on the weekends. I'll ask DH what he did for lunch and he'll say that he had lunch with his boyfriend. It's just an inside joke between us because his friend is recently divorced and will sometimes call him 7-8 times a day (or more) on the weekends to talk about his recent trip to the grocery store where he saw a "hot chick" looking at the lettuce, etc. LOL

I used to be. For years I didn't trust DH. It had nothing to do with him, just how I felt about myself. I finally decided to do something about it. I started watching what I ate and working. Now I am no longer jelouse. I am a stay at home mom again but its very different now. I have better self-esteem and our marrage is going great.

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TLJ ~ Where opinions are encouraged, not deleted

You laugh at me because I am different,
I laugh at you because you are all the same.

Your mind is like a parachute, it only works when it is open.

To answer your question, OP....I'm not jealous in THAT way. I get jealous sometimes with the "free" time that my hubby has, or the fact that he can call in sick to work and I can't (SAHM's don't get sick days)...stuff like that. I'm not jealous of other women, even if hubby has wandering eyes sometimes. I know where his heart is.

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Amy
Mom to Lauren, Eryn, Naysa
and announcing......
Gavin Michael Chase, 9 lbs 10 ozs
and 21 3/4 inches long on 10/13/09!

You know what that is a good question! I think you just have to make yourself not be that way. Just try it one time. If you feel like you are getting jealous pretend that you are not, and let your husband SEE that you are not, even if you have to leave the room to cool off for a bit, never let them see you sweat. lol It will finally come to you. I can't say that everything will be perfect all the time but maybe you can teach yourself how to blow things off better and not let it bother you.

Also the antidepressant thing I think plays a role for me too. I actually feel like I have grown up a bit too, no offense to anyone but I am just referring to my own thoughts and actions that I use to have.

I believe that depression can make you feel insecure and jealous.

Do something for yourself to improve YOU, that makes YOU feel better, do it for YOURSELF and be confident about it.

I always tell my friends that I could kill a woman who trys to steal my hubby and get away with it.

All I have to do is get a female judge and show her what a great guy my hubby is. She will let me off just because she understands I had to do what I had to do to keep him. LOL


As for being jealous about women around him? No, not really but then again, he doesnt put himself in situations where I would have a reason to be jealous.

Darlene

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Sell crazy some place else, we are all stocked up here.