One of the neighbor boys lies all the time. My son and him were friends and my son stopped talking to him because he lies about everything. He is just on of those sneaky kind of kids. This kid lies about his bus stop if the kids have a sub...He told his mom that he got hurt at karate and the secretary would not let him call home (which is not true because I was there) he lies about everything. It drives my son crazy because where my son is this kid is so they have to be together. But being in Karate my son wants so badly to tell the instructor about this boy. Part of karate is honor and this kid has none. The other problem is the Mom really believes him. When she finds out that he is lying she calls it a little fib. Well I know kids lie but I wouldn't believe this kid if he said that he breathes oxygen. But she is always passing it off like it is no big deal. She told me about the secretary the other day and I didn't even have the guts to say that wasn't true because I have told her about him lying so many times before. Usually this back fires somehow. So this time I said why don't you call the karate school and ask why he wasn't aloud to call home. What am I to tell my son. I try to say ignore it but you know how kids are they can't stand a liar. He wants to out him which I don't think is his job. Should I keep telling my son to ignore it or go ahead and tell. It wouldn't be so bad if they were around each other all the time. I just can't stand kids like this.

I guess I just need to vent. The kid drives me nuts.

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cmemaloy@yahoo.com


I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.

Life! is a coin. You can spend it anyway you wish, but you can only spend it once.

I hear you! That would drive me crazy too!

Not really any advice, other than to just stay away from him, keep your kids away. It is a good opprotunity to teach your kids to have some empathy, try to understand why the family is that way. They must get something out of it and it sounds like the mother isn't helping the little boy much, or maybe she thinks she is? He must have learned it from somewhere and I bet it's from her.

I would actually feel sorry for him in a way, he doesn't know any better and isn't being taught any better either. Try to feel sorry for him the next time, it's easier and more productive than driving yourself crazy.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

My nephew is like this and no matter how many times he is "caught" lying SIL makes excuses. The last time it was that he had gotten a cell phone for Christmas... he is almost 13. The had recently moved about an hour and a half from their old town. I get a phone call from someone that we both knew and she wants SIL's new phone number, no big deal so I gave it to her. Then the lady tells me that my nephew has been prank calling her house since Christmas at all hours of the night and day and that she has the phone records to prove it and that if my SIL does not make it stop she is going to the police. When I talked to SIL she said that her son was only trying to talk to his friend and they wouldn't answer...WTF?! The woman had saved the voicemail tapes of the kid taunting her son and SIL still say's he was joking.

The boy was brought home by the police three times when he was 10!! All three times was for vadalizing. He broke out the school windows with a rock, threw eggs at someones house and broke out windows at a business. All three times SIL blamed the kids who he was with and said her son was trying to get them to stop and she was pissed when the business took them to court and she had to pay her portion of the window repair...because her son didn't do anything and he "would never lie!!"

He has stolen jewelry from my mom and again...claims he didn't do it and SIL believes him. He has taken cash from my dad's house and SIL still believes him...it is a joke!

The thing is yes kids lie, but you need to call them out on the mat for it every time. The punishment should be 100% worse because they lied. Parents need to stress that it is because they were not truthful that the punichment is worse. I give my kids one chance to tell me the truth the FIRST time I ask...confessions after that are a mute point.

OP, the thing that concerns me with the boy you know is that by telling lies about the Karate place he is basically calling them negligent and that can destroy their reputation. I really think I would have told the mom that he was not denied access to the phone...even if she didn't believe me. I would also have your son talk to his instructor about how it makes him feel knowing this and perhaps the instructor can give a good lesson on honesty and integraty.

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#3 Gone To Race In A Better Place...

I think your right. The instructor could give a very good lesson on honesty. Another stupid thing the kid lied about was he got a PS3 for Christmas he announced it to the entire Karate class a few days after christmas. I was also there for that and I asked his mom how they liked it and she said Oh there is a big rumor that he got one and he doesn't know how it started. She didn't believe me when I told her that he told the entire class. She said that he said he got nintendo games. Excuse me I heard it with my own ears. If my son were telling me about him I probably would not believe him. But I am seeing these lies in action.

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cmemaloy@yahoo.com


I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.

Life! is a coin. You can spend it anyway you wish, but you can only spend it once.

You could approach it with this scenerio:
I will call her Mary and her son Jack since I don't know their names:
Mary, I need to talk to you. It's not a big deal but your son has quite the imagination. The other day, he told you he wasn't allowed to call home but this is what really happened (fill in the blanks)...I was there. Also, the PS3 rumor was started directly out of his mouth. Like I said, not a big deal but I think you should have a discussion with Jack about what he tells his friends. As far as his story with the secretary, she could have gotten in big trouble with that even lost her job because your son decided to lie about it. My son stopped talking to him all together because of the stories he decided to incorporate in their friendship. I just wanted to let you know from a concerned parents perspective of what's going on.

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Carrie...liars always hang themselves, eventually you just can not keep up with what you told whom.

For now, be proud of your son for stepping away. Encourage him to find friends that will lift him up and make him feel good about himself and good about having them as friends. Remind him that having "friends" who are liars and braggers will get him no where later in life.

This boy reminds me of some of the guys we dated in college girls.....they only lie when they open their mouths!

Carrie- Take this as a life lesson for your son. This kid may be a show off or he may be a sociopath. I had a sociopath for a brother. He would lie about the color of your eyes or the time of day- it didn't matter. When he was confronted then he would say, "Did you think I said....? Oh no, I said....". It never mattered. He would lie about the lies. Being "caught" did not matter to him either. So my advice is- introduce your son to reality. There are people like this boy. When you meet the next one you will be better equiped to deal with him or her. Yes, lying is wrong. So, you will learn to steer clear of these people.
Kids are VERY black and white. "It is not FAIR!" or "How come he can do it and I can't?" This is his first introduction to gray. Dishonest people do exist and they are not swallowed up by whales and they do not have liar printed on their foreheads. We, the listeners, have to learn to listen and evaluate what others say for ourselves. And we as actors in life, have to decide how we are going to conduct our lives. We can only be responsible for ourselves. No, I would not talk to the Karate coach because right behind that incident will be one with the principal, the lunch lady, the store clerk, the friend's mother, the boy scout leader, the soccer coach, the bible studies teacher, the babysitter, the piano teacher- the list will never stop. Stay clear of this kid.

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Lyn Clarke

We have friends who both lie about things.
They are in their 40's so I doubt that they will ever change.
We can never really believe anything that they say.
I don't know if they started as kids or one learned from the other after they were married.
I have had to warn other people about them and I hate to have to do that, but sometimes it is necessary.
They are great friends otherwise and I am so sad about the whole situation.
Anything that can be done to "cure" this young boy should be done.

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Square dancing is friendship set to music!