Can you please explain the logic in this... At a informal Moms group, a woman has been complaing and venting for months now and I just want to say something....her spouse lost his job right before Christmas...at that time the vent was she had to return some of her children's gifts b/c they could not pay their credit card bills......And her poor children were not getting new TVs and IPOds for Christmas....

So this has been going on for a while and last couple of weeks she has been venting that they have run out of savings and are not going to be able to "function" on spouses unemployment alone..... Husband is a good guy and is activily looking for employment, but has turned down at least 3 offer b/c "they offered peanuts compared to what we want to have as an income and are holding out for something better".... Now we live in a low income county and some people would love to make 1/2 of what he does....YES she felt the need to share what he mades with the group.....

I have asked her why she does not look for something while he is home..Walmart? local grocery store etc??.....she said "I have to be home for my babies"...All three of her "babies" are in school all day , the youngest being 11....oldest 15, they are not exactly babies.....They have no medical insurance, no plan for when the unemployment runs out....except "hope something comes along"......

So would you not work if your spouse was the sole provider and he lost his job????? Not necessarily return full time, but enough to at least get by.....

Would your spouse not take "anything" as long as helped support his family....I know what one job was offering since it was at my spouses' company and it wasn't going to pay for the Hummer they just bought, but it would feed three kids, and have enough left over to pay the bills....

I am just SO fustrated listening to her complain how her life is falling apart as she sits there and orders a $4.00 cup of coffee and lunch to go.....and is doing NOTHING to change her situation.......

I just want to say, get over it and get a job before you and your children areout on the streets!

I agree that it doesn't make sense.
I think a full or part time job for "both" of them wouldn't hurt ~ while he is waiting for the dream job!!!

But this is a home that has never had one penny of unemployment, welfare, or any other freebies.
My DH always found a job of some kind. I earned some extra money selling Avon while the kids were in school. We just lived in an era that didn't even HAVE all the programs they do now and I think it made us stronger.

I know there are cases where people need some help, so I am not putting anyone down.

My DH would take ANYTHING he had to until something better comes along. He makes a nice living right now but if you have $0 coming in a hour versus $10 an hour while the "something better" was in the works. My DH would be taking it. Let's all say thanks for the good men we all seem to have. HIP-HIP-HOORAY!!

Well, I can understand possibly the DH holding out for the "right job." If he thinks something better is going to come along, then he should be pounding the pavement full-time looking for that job. But, if I was the Mom, I would find something. Even 25hrs. a week at a minimum wage job would pay for the gas and groceries I would think.

Wow it sound like you need to vent back to her about her venting. Yes I would be working and yes my husband would take any job he could get his hands on. I agree kids at those ages need someone home with them but she also has around six hours a day that they don't need her. I don't understand her situation at all and I don't know what she is complaning about. It doesn't sound like she has it that bad and it also sound like they are causing their own problems.

__________________
cmemaloy@yahoo.com


I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.

Life! is a coin. You can spend it anyway you wish, but you can only spend it once.

Well the DH may not want to take a low paying job because he can collect & keep looking for a higher paying job. But, of course the wife should get a job.

It seems that she is having a hard time coping with the income reduction. Its easier for her to whine about it and have a pity party. Unfortuately, I know too many like her...

I am a SAHM and we can afford for me to do that, but if our income were to change, I would be looking for a job asap. My hubby would not be one sitting around for the dream job. He is always telling others they need to take anything they can find to keep their head above water. He did exactly what he preached too. He lost the previous job he had and occupied his time doing all kinds of odd jobs until he found the one he has now. So really they both should be trying to do something for income and budgeting on top of that.

__________________
Paula
Some days are diamonds Some days are stone

http://paulajc.mycoupons.com/

She said it has been months now.

I would never wait for a job.
I think you have a better chance of networking if you are working.
Many leads come from other people.

I agree she needs to look for a job but keep one thing in mind, if she hasn't worked in quite some time, it's not that easy to find a job. I KNOW, I'm going through it now!! I don't care what she did before becoming a SAHM, if she's been out of the work force for a long time, it's hard to even find employment at a fast food place. Don't ask me why....but it is, at least in this area. As for the husband, he should take any job while looking for the "right job". Any money would be better than none.

There are many that believe "IMAGE" is everything.
Something tells me the $4 cup of coffee and beign a non-working wife are part of an image she highly intends to keep.
The hubby may not take a "lessor" job because it may damage his self image.

I've seen people for whom this concept actually works fine,
But sadly I haven't got that kind of self-image.
At times I have envied those that do, because they have so much more fun than worry-wort penny-pinching old me.

I know a couple around 30 yrs old living paycheck to paycheck (very good paychecks too) and deeply in debt for a marvelous home, furniture and spanking new cars. No savings. They both have excellant jobs, no children and have explained they intend to enjoy life while they can. They tell us that if the finances ever cave in.. well hey, they enjoyed as much as they could while they could.
That's the way they think.

I simply have never been able to think that way, but you'd be surprised how many people do.

I'd take that Hummer back pronto AND take ANY job (if in that situation).

This scenario is unfortunately not that uncommon.

Well in my house I would be getting a job oh ya I did that we been thier done that when we were used to dh's overtime & then it got I went back to work & dh has not had many problems in the area of employment because of his degree but if need be he would go lower paying he loves to work though. And I love money so I have to work!!! I would do anything it took to feed my kids I could never ask for handouts maybe she just wants some sympathy I would just offer her an ear maybe she wants to just vent it out. I dont feel too sorry for someone though driving a hummer KWIM

__________________
mom of 3 greats girls

I have cleaned houses and worked fast food.
I have baby sat at night after working 9-10 hour days.
DH has driven school bus.
When ya gotta, ya just do what ya gotta do!
A job is a job and an income is an income.
She is just trying to show you that they are better than everyone else, when in reality they are slackers!
Tell her to get a job or hush up about money problems!

__________________
Square dancing is friendship set to music!

i meant that "he" should not wait for the dream job.

There are things that she could do even if she hasn't been in the work force for a while. Many people do jobs they don't want to , but it pays the bills and puts food on the table.

I would take any job to keep my bills paid and food on my table for my kids. BUT, in my situation, it's not that easy. I don't know about this woman's situation. I was just offering a different point of view, one from my own experience. Everyone seems to think it's easy to go out and get employment at the local grocery store or fast food place....it's NOT.....speaking from experience.
I also live in a home(and did as a child too)where we've never received unemployment or welfare or assistance. Of course, I feel for those who really need it, it's fine.
I wasn't trying to spark a controversy, just offering a different point of view, one stemming from my own experience. Though in so many ways, my situation is NOTHING like this woman's...on the other hand, job wise, I'm just saying to those of you who think you can walk into a place and find a job easily, it doesn't work that way.

I agree it wasnt easy for me either it seems at one time in my life I really really need a job I couldnt get one for anything but I still ebayed & found odd jobs even mowed lawns & this was after quiting a very good job to be sahm. Well I finally decided to find something more dependable so I got into demos I got the jobs online & they pay pretty good too. And then I found an online job threw the wahm boards so maybe you could suggest some things like that & see what she thinks

__________________
mom of 3 greats girls

I would stop going to the mothers group. I would have a hard time keeping my mouth closed.

A Hummer- where does she live Saudi Arabia?

__________________
Lyn Clarke