DH and I are always debating how often we have sex compared to other people. He of course thinks it's not often enough and I think he has unrealistic expectations.

We have 2 kids 5 and 3 and have sex on average twice a week.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

This is a great topic. We have sex maybe once a week..unless it's *that* week. DH and I have never had a very physical relationship.. so I'd be just fine with 1-3 times a year. If I were to suddenly become married to Russell Crowe, John Stamos, McSteamy, Leo Dicaprio, Hugh Jackman, Ben Affleck, George Clooney. or (and don't laugh) Richard Dean Anderson.. then I would probably be in the Multiple times a day catagory. All humor aside.. if I were to somehow be not married at some point ....sexual compatibility would be something that I would require any future relationship because I truly miss *that* feeling.

Flethcersmom

Thanks for the laugh.....I loved the part that you would be fine with 1-3 times a year.....


But this is a great topic.

Men always complain someone else has a better life having sex more than them. But as I tell my husband....atleast you are getting some.

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Give me the wisdom and grace to understand

Tracy S
Mommy to 5 little girls
Victoria
Alyssa
Samantha & Selena
Malaya
Tracy_s5girls@yahoo.com

we're about three times a week.....we have three DD's (wonder why we have three ...now you know) we have been married for 10 years. I think its a huge part of a healthy relationship.

We aim for every other day...but alas, that is usually not the case. He works one week days, one week nights, so on nights weeks, its maybe 2x a week. I go in roller coaster type stages..I want to do it like a jack rabbit, then I'm like eh, thats ok....I'll pass

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" Even though life can be a very long, hard, stressful and never-ending journey, never lose hope in what you want the most."

My dh has been out of town for over a month and he will be home tonight around midnight....so I will be having it tonight, lol

Christine

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TLJ ~ Women United in Spirit

UMMMMMMMMMM..........I see that green light near your name, which means you are still online. it is almost 9:30 - shouldn't you be getting all dolled up and ready for when hubby gets home.....GET OFF LINE....LOL J/K

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MyCoupons Is #1 for Holiday Shopping

Girl...I am my dh sent me a pajama gram for Valentine's day a red velvet little cami and matching pants(he has not seen me in them , so I will be wearing this when I open the door with some heels and hand him a glass of wine.......

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TLJ ~ Women United in Spirit

I am polyamorous & can never have enough sex! Sometimes it is hard to keep up but as we all know, a woman's work is NEVER done

thanks for the honesty!

More then the average bear
We are above average....I about fainted when they were calling sleep the *new sex* ahh...come on now..and seperate bedrooms? What is up with that...
And they wonder why they never have anything to say to each other..
People forget sex is part of marriage...a big part..after all you ask each other to forsake all others right, which means you are all each other has..so why make such a big issue of sex? It was part of the deal..
the I don't have time/energy thing don't fly. You wash clothes/work/shop/sit online when you are tired..have sex, and stop wasting all that time fuming over it..it might actually bring you closer and you just might like it..takes more time to fuss about it/say no/and argue about it then to do it..

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"Cast upon this globe without physical strength or innate ideas, incapable in himself of obeying fundamental laws of this nature which call him to the supreme place in the universe, it is only in the heart of society that man can attain the pre-eminent position which is his natural destiny. Without the aide of civilization he would be one of the feeblest and least intelligent of animals.."
Jean-Marc-Gaspard Itard

My kinda gal...

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"Cast upon this globe without physical strength or innate ideas, incapable in himself of obeying fundamental laws of this nature which call him to the supreme place in the universe, it is only in the heart of society that man can attain the pre-eminent position which is his natural destiny. Without the aide of civilization he would be one of the feeblest and least intelligent of animals.."
Jean-Marc-Gaspard Itard

omg-what a tough topic.
We have at it about 2x per week.
And it's good, very good.
We also have four kids, so just need to do it when we can, and where we can...

Amen sister!

Not very often. Been married almost 14 years, lol.

I will be married 23 in July first marriage for both of us.. 3 boys, all still at home..2 handicapped...lol..and he works niteshift...it is all about taking time and making time for the two of you...

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"Cast upon this globe without physical strength or innate ideas, incapable in himself of obeying fundamental laws of this nature which call him to the supreme place in the universe, it is only in the heart of society that man can attain the pre-eminent position which is his natural destiny. Without the aide of civilization he would be one of the feeblest and least intelligent of animals.."
Jean-Marc-Gaspard Itard

Thats what I call TRUE love!!! So many poeple lose site of that after a few years. It is nice to see some people still take the time to make it exciting for the other. Good for you, Jaboomer!

It was more often before we got married, but now with our work schedules it's usually once a week (I would prefer more). Sometimes I can catch him in a good mood and it's more often. Stinks at times because of the medication he's on but we do manage to have a good time. We've been married for almost 15 years and together for 19.

Ever since I had my second I don't want that thing anywhere near me, but he's getting snipped pretty soon , so I'm hoping that changes things.. (my youngest is 2!)

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Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like. - Will Rogers

I would say about once a week. He wishes it were more. If I am tired, forget it! Now, if I were married to Hugh Jackman it would be every day!

Another question, do the people who have sex more than 1-3 times a week have kids? Do you think that makes a difference?

When we were first married without kids, we had a lot more energy, time and therefore sex, but now I am beat! I have the kids needing me all day and by the time 8:00 rolls around I am more than happy to just sit and watch tv. I wish DH would stay up with me, but he goes to bed early, he gets up around 4:00. I just don't want to "do " anything else, I want to relax. kwim?

Refundsrus, the snipety snip makes things last longer, or at least that's what i've heard.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

Hubba hubba.

4 kids all under 9 years, we try lets see every other month, i have no interest. never did, just something you hace to do. every so often.

Having the kids would have made a difference *if* we would have let it. It would have been really easy to shift all the attention somewhere else, especially in our situation, but we made a big effort for that not to happen. Kids grow up, move away, well most anyway.. there is a lot of meaningful words and emtions spoke in *pillowtalk*. And the feelings of he/she still thinks I am attractive still lingers the next day, even if you have not had time to comb your hair all day, and you make a effort for going out to eat by yourselves, or for quiet times talking on the deck etc. Your husband/wife is supposed to be part of you, in every sense of the word. Medicine in men can cause havoc, sometimes it takes a honest talk with his Dr. to get some solutions. Medcine especially antdepressants can cause a total loss of need in a woman. Sometimes changing meds can help that problem. In men it is mainly blood pressure meds, women anti depressants. welbutrin is one med that will not effect the sex drive in women and has been known to make things *better*. Lack of hormones from the pill and the change can all effect women too. It is something you need to work with. But closeness is not something you want to lose with you spouse.

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"Cast upon this globe without physical strength or innate ideas, incapable in himself of obeying fundamental laws of this nature which call him to the supreme place in the universe, it is only in the heart of society that man can attain the pre-eminent position which is his natural destiny. Without the aide of civilization he would be one of the feeblest and least intelligent of animals.."
Jean-Marc-Gaspard Itard

You are very knowledgeable on this topic! You present it in a way that every person can understand and put to good use! Maybe you could do a weekly Q&A session here or something? I am certain that there are many women/men having problems in this areas of their lives, but too ashamed or embarrassed to speak up!

I agree with that but I am not sure this place is ready for something like that! However, I am also certain there are a lot of women with questions on how to have a better sex life too. I hope they can find the answers somewhere, if not on this board, somewhere else perhaps.

I would love to have it all of the time. I am a 24/7 type of gal but DH isn't

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Dawnie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If there is a will there is a way!

It's 4-5 times a week for us. I've had a very strong physical attraction to DH ever since I first laid eyes on him so we're like a couple of rabbits! LOL We've been together for 8 years and married for 3 years in July and it just keeps getting better! DH is 27 and I'm 32 so we've still got alot more wonderful years ahead of us.

ETA: I have a soon to be 10yr old DD from a prior relationship but I don't let the fact that we have a child affect the fact that I want to jump on DH as soon as we turn the lights out for bed LOL

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"Let me watch my children grow to see what they become
Lord don't let that cold wind blow til I'm too old to die young'

We do it about 2 or 3 times a week on average. Some weeks it's more and others it's less. Since having the baby seven months ago, I want it a lot more than what I did before she was born.

We have good sex. It's always been good. We've been married for 10 1/2 years and have been together for 12 1/2.

Our kids are 13, 4 (soon to be 5) and then the 7 month old.

Hubby's 32, I'm 31. Since Naysa was born, I wish it was EVERY day. But, there are just times when we are both too tired.

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Amy
Mom to Lauren, Eryn, Naysa
and announcing......
Gavin Michael Chase, 9 lbs 10 ozs
and 21 3/4 inches long on 10/13/09!

dang, we have been married for 14 years,we have 3 kids,and we are having sex way too often....twice a day most of the time(at least once a day)...I should be blushing no?

I went through teens waiting for marriage, went through 20's raising a son by myself and too busy for sex.Went through 30's with health problems so nothing there.Hit 40's. found the man of my dreams,all healthy now, I'm READY!!
YES.I'M READY NOW!!! Hello??? Crap, looks like I missed my boat AGAIN!

We are about 1 to 7 nights a week LOL some weeks it every day, other times its too late. or were too tired.. Dh gets up at 4 in the morning, I gotta let him sleep once in a while But tonight is Saturday, sooo I'm ahh gonna (cough cough) go up to bed now

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I have OCCD
Obsessive-Compulsive Coupon Disorder!!!

2-3 times a week and we have a 7 year old and a 5 year old. There are weeks where we are at 4-5 times...depending and then weeks were it's nothing (like we are sick). 3 is pretty standard. We I say 3 times I mean actual intercourse though. We have other sexual experiences that don't include intercourse about 3 times a week as well

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

Easiest way to explain it is... whenever my dh wants it. In the 16 years we have been together, I have only said "no" once in the recent past, that I can remember. Even if I'm not in the mood, after a few minutes, I get in the mood Believe it or not, I could actually have it more than we do, but our schedules don't always allow for it.

I just think that intimacy is such and important factor in a marriage. Like posted earlier, it's not always intercourse. I have never understood why women often "cut off" their husbands for weeks or have to make "deals" in order for sex to happen (ie: birthday sex, etc). I remember watching and Oprah show on this topic and one woman admitted to watching TV while having sex. Where's the intimacy there? I love the intimate times in our marriage - not necessarily sex, but pillow talk, romance, long hugs, etc. It really makes me feel like my husband and I are on the same page.... with our crazy lives (with 3 kids) and jobs and day to day stuff, it's really easy to get on different pages. At least I know that in the bedroom, all the craziness gets left behind for a while.

Well, my husband is "getting old" (his terms, he's 29) so his new nickname is "ONE A DAY - JAY" lol.... We have 3 kids but they nap and sleep so we have time!

My BF and I average 3-4 times a day. Some days more some days less. This past weekend we had his 2 neices and nephew so we had 3 kids in my apt and still managed to go a few times each night. We did encounter an awkward moment LOL and I dont know if it is appropriate to post here but I am just happy that they are his brothers kids and he had to explain to his brother what the kids were talking about LOL if anyone is curious and wants to hear a funny story you can PM me

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~~~~**Maryann**~~~~

I just got a firm grip on reality....
Now I can strangle it

Yep, me too......well, my youngest is 5 now but it was 'get that away from me' for about 2-3 years. But now....woohoo, look out! Momma's got her groove on!! And he's gettin' snipped this Saturday......can't wait for that! (I HATE condoms....... )

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Friends are like butt cheeks.
Crap might separate them,
But they always come back together.

Me and my BF are about to get married, we've been together for almost two years. We have sex once a week and sometimes even less. I love having sex and would have it all the time, he however says he wants me but doesnt have me. I dont get it. He's 11 years older then me maybe that has somethingto do with it.

Great topic......my hubby and I have had multiple discussions regarding this issue, we have 'agreed' for every other day; he says that's about the time limit before he starts 'thinking' about it.....so, sometimes it's just a 'drive thru' (my girlfriend taught me that phrase) other times it's the full on production and every now and then I throw on the 75% off lingere from target (LOL) for a thrill (acutally it is a form of conversation....."how much did you spend/save on that? "Wow! that was a great deal"....has to be since it ends up sitting on the floor or in a drawer most of the time!) HEE-HEE.

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By grace alone

I love this phrase......I have got to remember this one!!!

__________________

Friends are like butt cheeks.
Crap might separate them,
But they always come back together.

Maybe work has something to do with it?When me and my bf first met over 3 years ago, he wasn't working for the first 6 months.During that time we did it at least twice a day.When he went back to work (he's a welder) it decreased to maybe once a week or less and as time went by it decreased to once a month if I was lucky.It bothered me for awhile and we used to fight over it because he would get mad because I would pester him for sex.I learnt over time that I just have to wait until hes in the mood which might happen once a month,and I'm not always ready at that particular moment when it finally happens. But oh well, I've gotten use to not being real sexually active,but it took awhile for me to adjust to it.We still our very affectionate to each other all the time so I guess thats good enough.I am only 5 months older than my BF .I can't help but wonder if its just an age thing.We are both 43 years old.So maybe because hes in his 40's? I'm curious as to how many couples in their 40's still do it every day.

I'm wondering how many couples in their THIRTIES still do it every day/multiple times a day. It's been four days for us now. Hubby had a stomach bug Sat night/Sunday so there was no way I was getting anywhere near him, not like he was in the mood for it anyways, but....LOL

Hubby used to want it ALL the time for YEARS. That was the time when I could care less about it. Now, I want it more than him.

I read somewhere that the average sex encounter last 3-10 minutes. I'm wondering if that's true for most people?

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Amy
Mom to Lauren, Eryn, Naysa
and announcing......
Gavin Michael Chase, 9 lbs 10 ozs
and 21 3/4 inches long on 10/13/09!

Gosh I hope not! We have AT LEAST 10 minutes of foreplay first

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

We are at about 1-2x a week. We've been married for 8 years and have 3 kids.

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Mommy to Kalyn (9/4/99), Saige (3/20/02) and Alexander (8/10/04)

We've been married for almost 10 years, have 2 kids (9 & 7) and have sex all the time! Some weeks it's 2x a day. Some weeks it's only 1-2x a week...those are sad weeks! I used to put little stickers on my calendar when we had sex. Wow, some months were covered!! And wasn't counting any oral or anal stuff. We don't push sex. If one isn't feeling well, we pass and make up for it when they are feeling better. If one is tired, we let them sleep. We have enough sex not to worry if we miss a day or so.

My Dh is 32 and I'm 29......We are still about three times a week.......been together 12 years, married for 10 with 3 kids and still going strong....We are in for whatever, hours of sex or the quicke we just had cause he was off to work tonight.

Try this...getting creative when you had a baby that HATED the crib and would only sleep in your bed (we tried EVERYTHING)!! We co-slept with our little guy for 10 months (and Indiana started airing those awful commercials about the mom sleeping on the couch with the baby and the baby stops breathing oh, that made us feel real good!)then we moved him to a toddler bed because it was TOO much! Thank GOD for Baby Einstein...Baby Mozart! Now, he's in his own room and in his own bed all the time! We do have one on the way though! As far as sex goes, it's at least once a week (if I initiate...otherwise it could be once a month, if I'm lucky!). My husbands sex drive is like dial-up compared to my high speed! We are in our late 20s and have been married for 5, together for 7.


When would you have time for couponing and shopping??
LOL!

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Depends on my work schedule, but at least once every day. Some days it's more than that.
It's funny though cause my BF keeps a calandar of when he doesn't get oral sex, not when he doesn't get sex. So, apparently oral is more important sometimes, but I am way too tired for all that. I work overnight, he works days, I work weekends he's off. So, it's really hard to have more than just a quickie.

Wait tell you have been married 29 years in July of this year. As of April 2006 every weekend until he had to go to West Virginia and wasn't home but Saturday and left to back on Sunday. Found out 2 weeks in April before I was going into the hospital to have Total knee replacement he had been going with a woman in West Virginia, He said they were just friends but he was giving her gifts and money. He said she was going to pay him back the money it was just a loan. I talked to her she said they did not have sex and that he forced her to take the money she did not ask for it. H e was taking close to $800.00 dollars a week up there I thoght he was putting it back he was always a person that would carry alot of money in his billfold. He came back broke. So he know sleeps on the couch and I sleep in the bed. She claims she would not have sex with someone that was old enough to be her daddy but she didn't care in taking his money. I have no place to go no money in the bank and no job since the surgery. We put our whole saving in a new home in Febuary before I found out about this in April.