I have three children who will be 7, 9 and 12 this summer. If I have to pay for daycare for all three this summer, it will cost as much as I make. My ex husband doesn't want to help pay for daycare, and, quite honestly, I can't afford a court battle.

So, I'm starting to panic a little now that summer is getting close. I REALLY don't want to leave ANY of my kids home alone. I'm EXTREMELY over protective. I've spent days looking into state/community programs and there is nothing available for me at my income level.

How old do you think children should be before they stay home alone for the summer?

What about boys/girls club? Your children are too young to stay home alone. I also believe it becomes a child welfare issue when determining what age children are left home alone. That's interesting though, our ex-neighbor across the street was the prosecuting attorney and it was amazing what they did that broke the law including leaving the kids home alone. No relatives nearby that could help out?

I think you have to look at the kids personally. My babysitter started babysitting my kids when she was 11. I never asked her how old she was I assumed she was 13 or 14 she was so mature. I think in Ohio the legal age is 12 to babysit. So if your kids get along it would be fine.

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cmemaloy@yahoo.com


I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.

Life! is a coin. You can spend it anyway you wish, but you can only spend it once.

Thanks! I have contacted DHS, and they say that it is a personal choice. My 12 year old is "technically" old enough to babysit. I am DEFINITELY not letting all 3 boys stay home, but am considering having the oldest, who will be 12, stay home, and maybe have my 9 year old go to daycare 3 days a week and stay home 2 days a week. My youngest would go to daycare every day. I can really only afford to spend about 50% of my income on child care.

But, I feel really guilty. The two kids who "get to" go to daycare will have lots of activities and interaction with other kids, but my oldest will be stuck at home alone with not much to do....

Oops, forgot to say... my family lives over 900 miles away & even the programs through the YMCA cost 100% of my salary for 3 kids. It's weird, because when I lived in Louisiana there were summer camp programs through the parks and recreation department that were only about $75 a week per child. I can't find ANYTHING around here in that range!

Well I think all summer everyday may be a little much for 3 siblings those ages. I know mine wouldnt last the first week. I guess I would try to find something like boys club girls club or summer camps threw the Y

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mom of 3 greats girls

Snoopy, like I said, I would NEVER have all 3 stay home alone. I am actually thinking about my youngest going to daycare full time and my middle going 3 days a week. I noticed that you're in Iowa too. Do you know of any summer programs in Iowa? The Y near me wants about $140/week per child for their program, and they don't offer part time care. I'll do a search specifically for the boys club, but I didn't see anything about them when I did a search for child care, summer camps or summer programs.

I would talk to the boys and girls club have you thought about checking the city for their summer programs I know that they have alot of them here that offer discount programs or free (they would probably do it through lottery, but even if only one of your kids gets it, it would help

Is there a large church in your area that has summer programs? Boys/girls club is not YMCA, they should be much cheaper. Tough call. I was thinking maybe, but with 3 boys, I could see the oldest becoming engrossed in something and forgetting about the youngest.

Thanks for all of the tips. I've been looking into the Boy's and Girl's Club online and don't see any locations near Des Moines. I'm going to make a phone call in the morning to see if they have a program, and I'm just not finding it.

what about church camp. Our church has a day camp all summer and the cost is very low. Most church's around here accept kids that are not members. I would check.

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cmemaloy@yahoo.com


I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.

Life! is a coin. You can spend it anyway you wish, but you can only spend it once.

Boys & Girls Club should have something in a city that size. Hope they can help you out! They are a great low cost alternative.

I am sorry for your difficulties. It is too bad that ex-DH is not willing to help pay half.

First do anything needed to GET RID of your GUILT. You are a good responsible Mom doing the best you can.
Your kids will learn that you do what is best for them.
Maybe you can set up play dates with Moms who don't mind another child a couple of days a week.
Maybe the child care centers or your local parks and rec depts have scholarships.
There is an answer that you can all live with and it will be somthing that makes your kids happy and doesn't make you go broke.

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.

Thanks everyone, I'm going to try to make some phone calls tomorrow if I get some time at work. It's hard to find time to make personal calls there though, because I don't get a lunch. I'm lucky enough to be able to skip lunch to work around my kids's school schedule to avoid daycare during the school year. But I am going to try to call a couple of local churches and the Girls & Boys Club. I'm also going to call the state child care referral hotline to see if they have any advice.

Are there any teens or college kids in your area that want to do summer daycare within your home for a flat rate per week? I know a lady here that is a single mom and she puts an ad in the college newspaper and hires a student (usually majoring in childhood studies or development) to stay at her house from 9-5 M-F for a flat rate per week. Don't know what that rate is but I *think* she pays about $350 a week for 4 kids

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

And take it one week at a time. The "whole summer" sounds so long, but if you worry about one week at a time, it seems more managable.

Maybe they can go to a relatives for a week or 2 (the ones who live far away)?

Our church has a bible school for $5 for each kid for the week and my kids have a blast! And we are not normally church goers, but that isn't an issue at least at our bible school.

Maybe another week, each of the kids can go to different friend's houses? But you wold need to reciprocate during the school year or something for the mom's helping you out. I know if someone would ask me just for a day or 2, I would have no problem helping in that situation, just don't take advantage.

I wouldn't leave them home alone for more than a few hours, that's too much responsibility for a 12 year old. Maybe 1 day, but still have someone check on them? It's a lot of pressure to put on them.

It might be the best to put the youngest in day care, or just pay a sitter, that way you don't have to worry as much either.

You're doing great starting now too, good luck!

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

des moines ia boys club - Google Search

There appears to be 3 located in Des Moines. All of them should have a summer program.

Hope some of these help!

West Des Moines - Parks and Rec
WDMCS: Community Education: KIDS WEST: Summer Day Camp
Sacred Heart West Des Moines

I second the suggestion to look for someone to come into your home - a high school or college student. I think that's your best bet with 3 kids. Summer camps not only tend to be expensive but the other problem that I always faced with them is that they didn't cover the hours needed if you have a full-time job.

My 12-year-old stays home after school a few days a week and was home all last summer with his 16 year old brother. He gets (got) bored a lot. I don't like him roaming the neighborhood; he has to call and ask permission first. So he stays inside and plays more video games then I'd like.


It can be hard.....Good luck!

Carol

TRY girls Inc. for the girls club thats what we have here & its only $10 a week at the very most & they have tons for girls to do all summer long. Also talk to your schools ours have beyond the bell in the summer ft & also do lots of stuff. Just a few ideas you may also want to ask the schools if they know of any programs

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mom of 3 greats girls

Here are some places to check out and they might have other ideas for you as well.

This might work for your older child...they have not update the 2007 info but it is a place to start. Youth in Parks Summer Program

Boys & Girls Clubs Boys and Girls Clubs of Central Iowa (BGCCI) > Home ( DNN 2.1.2 )

Des Moines YMCA YMCA of Greater Des Moines

If your income is low enough I don't understand why you would not be getting a reduced fee for something like the YMCA? From reading your posts, I wasn't quite sure if you asked about something like this, or just went by the regular rates?

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If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now, quiet! The're about to announce the lottery numbers... - Homer Simpson

Personally there is no way I would leave three children those ages alone for the summer.
I would suggest also a student, high school or college, to come to your home for at least part of the day, it would proababy be cheaper then even putting 2 in day care for the entire week.

There are lots of reduced day care programs avaiable too...check them out.

If you go to church, ask there for any returning college students who are looking to make some money or through friends. I know our "sitter" was wonderful....she took them swimming, to thier friends houses, had their friends over and just was there to generally make sure they ate what they were suppose to be eating, were supervised outside, etc....

Our sitter was taking night classes so it worked great for her...she took them to the park and studied, swimming and studied....

There is just no way whatsoever I would feel good about leaving children alone all day everyday for the entire summer..... I would worry they would go outside and get locked out, or someone snatched them and it would be hours before you even knew......

When my ex and I divorced it was put in thru domestic relations that he had to pay 50% of ALL day care expenses and uncovered medical expenses. There was NO "court battle" whatsoever. I'm assuming you get child support. Go to your domestic relations office and have it put in the order. It shouldn't cost you anything to do it. There is no reason why YOU should have to foot the whole bill for daycare.

After I told my ex about my oldest needing braces and extensive dental work and that I was going back to school which meant he'd have to start paying half of day care costs, he quickly agreed to terminate his parental rights and let my hubby adopt her.

Anyway, I wouldn't let all three of your kids home alone all summer. Maybe the 12 year old, but he/she isn't old enough to be responsible for the younger two, IMO.

OP, check w/your domestic relations office about amending the order for support.

Good luck!

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Amy
Mom to Lauren, Eryn, Naysa
and announcing......
Gavin Michael Chase, 9 lbs 10 ozs
and 21 3/4 inches long on 10/13/09!

I have a 10, 9 and 5 year old and for the past 2 summers I've had a high school girl come over to our house and babysit. It has worked out great! they can still be involved in some summer programs because she can take them to their activities. I pay her $40 a day. Granted, I live in a relatively small town, but I personally think that is pretty good money for a high school kid. It comes out to about $5 an hour and she doesn't have to pay any taxes on it. It's definately more than she could get working at McDonalds or somewhere similar.

If you had someone younger that didn't drive, you could possibly even pay less per day, but you'd have to figure out a way to get them there.

You also mentioned that you have all boys. One of my good friends has 3 boys and one of them that is now 15 I believe babysits for other kids, so that might be something that your boys would like if you could find a boy to keep them.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Is there anyplace in town that offers a 'mentoring' program? We have local college students mentor younger kids....usually involving activities the child is interested in, such as going to the zoo or local baseball games, the YMCA, etc etc.

Do you know any other single parents you could co-op or share a sitter with? I found thru the grapevine that there were several parents nearby in the same boat.....our kids were about the same age and got along reasonably well so we swapped babysitting when needed.

Often, kids have more fun with a 'buddy' anyway and maybe the other parent could share the cost of a teenager. I had a friend's niece come 3 days a week, she could drive, so she took my kids to the beach, the mall, etc. My pre-teen kids really needed a 'referee' more than a 'babysitter' anyway--

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"It's not about how much baggage you have, it's about whether or not you can carry your own baggage with grace and dignity."

When I had small children at home I paid older children to come and play with them while I was at home so that I could get more things done. Maybe that would be fun for your kids and help someone else out at the same time.

Our elementary school has before and after school child care. But they also have during the summer child care. You do have to sign up for the whole summer, but they do tons of activities!! Do any of the local school have something like that you can check into? Or call around daycares and see about their summer programs.

Thanks for ALL of the links!!! I'm going to go and check them all out now! I couldn't find any of those places, especially the Boys & Girls Club in my searching.

I really don't think that I will qualify for any government help, but I am going to look into it anyway. It doesn't hurt to ask. It's just that I'm not technically considered low income.

I am really a loner. I have a social anxiety disorder, and don't meet new people very easily. I have no friends at all other than family, and I don't know any of my neighbors. I actually have to take medication every day just to leave the house. So, "asking around" (neighbors, kids' friends' parents, etc.) really isn't an option for me. I would honestly rather quit my job and stay home than go through that. I know that probably sounds completely insane to most of you, but social interaction is absolutely terrifying to me!

I really wish our schools or parks had something during the summer for families like mine. But, we live on the outskirts of a very wealthy area, and about 8 out of 10 families in the district are living in $500,000 + homes, so I guess reasonably priced child care isn't as much of an issue to them.

In our area, high schoolers need volunteer hours to graduate so that might be an option as well.