I have a sister and stepsister,( even though do not consider her a half sister at all). Almost four years ago, our mother died from cancer, which was a shock to all. She really wasn't that old (only 69) and we just thought that she would be around forever. About a year and a half after mom died, my step dad starting dating a woman. I have only met her once since we live in another state but she seems very nice. My step sister recently told me that this woman has mentioned to my stepdad a couple of times that if he sold his house and she sold hers, they could get a very nice house together. I thought this was kind of bold of her, but she speaks her mind. Anyway, this got me thinking about if stepdad remarries and how this kind of complicates the inheritance. My mom always said that my stepsister would get the house since my stepdad did buy it, and the money would be divided three ways. I want to make it clear that I am not expecting an inheritance from him, but my mom always openly discussed what their plans were.

I believe that my stepdad is entitled to do as he wishes, and if he intends to remarry, absolutely he should do so. He is not an impulsive man and would ponder such a decision. If he does remarry, though, the new wife would probably get most of what he has, much is a comfortable nest egg.

Anyone have a personal experience with this or know of one and would like to offer input?

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I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

This is way my dads will is set up -everything goes to my mom --if my mom was to die before he dies ---then everything would be sold and divided 3 ways to the children.

Giving that scerino-- What your mother left her husband in her will .Your Step father is entitled to distrubte how he wishes upon his death.

I would think ---If they are not married & he dies than his children could go to court and fight for the house to be sold and then his portion would be divided among his children

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Angels may not come when you call them, but they'll always be there when you need them.

First of all, she is either your stepsister (meaning neither of her parents are the same as yours) or she is your half sister (meaning the 2 of you share one parent), she cannot be both.

Unfortunately, the plans your mom and your stepdad made have changed. It is your stepfather's right to do as he chooses, he is an adult. And, yes, I have experience at this where adult children think they have the right to tell their parents what to do and it truly is none of their business.

I've come across many bitter children upset with the step parent, and forgetting that their own parent was part of the equation, making the decision as well. It's not always the "outside" who is the bad person.

It does not sound to me like you are entitled to anything unless your mother specifically stated in a legal document - will, trust, etc., that she wished you to inherit. When someone dies "intestate" (without a will) everything goes to their surviving spouse. If your stepfather still has possession of some family heirlooms or sentimental items of your mother's, you should ask him for those outright. Do not assume for a second that your step-family will be at all reasonable or generous to you with regard to "your" mother's things. Death brings out the worst in families, I am sorry to say.

I'm a little confused as to the posters who are saying that if their mom dies first, everything is to be sold and divided between the kids. Either your parents were given bad legal advice, or you have misunderstood what their final plans are. The way you've stated it makes it sound like your dad is going to end up homeless. And, I'm pretty sure that's not what you meant.

No bad advice here my father will was done by attorney. My husband will is exactly like my father will they were both done by different attorney's..This is done as a precaution in case the sole benfency of the will is deceased. Most wills should be set up this way.

my mother is the one who inherits all his property "upon his death". If my mom is already deceased then the property is dived equally among the kids..Believe me this will is sealed tight he went to a very well established attorney.

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Angels may not come when you call them, but they'll always be there when you need them.

At least no one is out to "prove a point" in their wills like my ILs. My MIL is quite a character. While a nice lady, she can be very insensitive.

She recently told DH that they changed the will. Instead of DH and his sister solely getting any money, the grandkids get it. Super right? Umm...no. The money will still be divided in half and then distributed to the grandkids. The problem...we have 4 kids and SIL has 2. My kids will get 12% each and SIL's kids will each get 25%. I don't care about the money at all, but why be unfair? Her answer? It's our fault we has so many kids! Then she had the nerve to say that money shouldn't divide people, but she went out of her way to do this. My kids already think the ILs don't like them or want much to do wtih them. I guess this will prove it after their deaths. That is the part she can't see. Why tell us unless she wanted to hurt us and create drama? Why not give each child a set amount (set up a trust fund), give it to charity, etc. I have a feeling that when my kids receive this inheritance, it will be tainted and they will give it away.

Can anyone guess the relationship with my ILs? Yeah...we've always been rocky, but when you TRY to hurt my kids...I can't fake it much. And like DH tried to tell her...it isn't about the money. It's about the value she places on the kids. Typical really...

Well, from the grandparents perspective, I can see that they think this is a fair distribution. If they divided the money so each grandchild got exactly the same, your family would get around 65% of the total inheritance, then your sil/bil would be upset. Dividing it 50/50 between the 2 families seems reasonable.


My mother experienced first hand how inheritances can be unfair and tear a family apart. Her father, who was a wealthy man after he sold his farm, left a couple of his 11 kids out of the will. This caused a lot of heartache in the family and tensions never let up over the years. Some of them thought that they should all pool the money and divide it, but not everyone agreed with that. Some of them ended up not speaking to one another because of this. So sad.

I should clarify that my sisters and I (3 of us) did get a small inheritance from my mother when she passed. The rest of the money belongs to my stepdad and of course the house belongs to him. I know that my halfsister will inherit his house, and I really don't think that he would ever sell it and buy a newer home with girlfriend. In the end, my halfsister would end up losing as she would not inherit the home that he invested in with girlfriend. Unfortunately, widows/widowers have to consider all of this before they remarry.

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I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

I think this is a completely fair distribution. The money is being divided evenly between the two families. The fact that your family has more beneficiaries should not entitle your family to more of the inheritance.

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Raising my baby RIGHT!!!!!!

All the cool babies are wearing cloth!

Actually, this had me confused, too.

If your mom dies before your dad dies, then everything is sold and divided three ways and given to the children?

At that point, where does your dad live, and what money does he live on, since the money and home they shared will have already been distributed to their heirs?

I agree. I do think that it's fairly typical for money to be divided equally among heirs, and if there are two children, each of the families would get half.

It's odd that the choice was made to skip the children and go straight to the grandchildren. I do know, however, that my grandmother did this, which resulted in my brother and I getting a piece of property, and my cousins getting nothing... yet.

Actually, my grandmother had three children. Her oldest child died, and the next two (one being my mother) are still living.

My grandmother divided her estate up and considered each of her children equally. Her oldest is no longer living (and wasn't at the time she did the estate division) so she gave that 1/3 to her oldest child's four children.

She gave 1/3 to her middle child, who is living.

My own mother, who is the youngest, is financially pretty comfortable and didn't really need the 1/3, so she asked that my grandmother go ahead and give it equally to my brother and I, rather than to her. She knew that if she herself got it, then when my brother and I inherited it from her one day that it would end up being taxed at a much higher rate, when lumped with the rest of her own estate, than if we just inherited it from our grandmother.

So... my brother and I ended up with an undivided 1/3, the four children of my mother's oldest sibling ended up with an undivided 1/3, and my mother's middle sibling ended up with 1/3, which she will eventually leave to her own two children.

I was talking about my "Dad's Will".......... In order for " his Will" to be carried out he would have to be dead .

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Angels may not come when you call them, but they'll always be there when you need them.

I'm sure she means that if Dad dies first...everything goes to Mom. If Mom dies first, then Dad dies...everything is split between the children (since Mom is already dead).

This is exactly how it will happen with my Grandmother's will. She has three children, one of whom is deceased. His three daughers will get 1/3 of the inheritance. My mom then gets 1/3 and my uncle gets 1/3.

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Raising my baby RIGHT!!!!!!

All the cool babies are wearing cloth!

I have a question
If a will says " everything divided among children"
what happens if one of the children dies bofore the parent
Is it usually just that each kid gets more or deceased children get their parents part?
I have wondered that for a long time but would never in a million years ask any of my family
My mom died 8 years ago when she was 44 and I am not sure how this usually works
I know everyone is different though.
Thanks Suzanne

I understand that my part of the family will get an equal share. I guess I question MIL's motive in this all. And we are unsure why she skipped the children and went to her grandchildren. I think she figures by the time they both die, DH and his sister will be well established and not need any money. That part is puzzling really. I know if I were to do this to my heirs, I would divide it all equally among all grandchildren. I think my biggest issue is more than the will thing. Her answer and attitude seems spiteful. ("It's your fault you have so many kids.") I really don't want or need her money and I hope my kids can understand the situation when it happens. I guess I just count the grandkids individually and not as a sub-part of half the family, KWIM?

My own parents have a "traditional" set-up that gives my brother and me each equal parts. (My mother mentioned then we are free to re-distribute to our children as needed.)

Some of the other cases are similar, but not the situation we have. Has anyone else had relatives that did something like this with the grandkids?

I just wish they all live long enough to spent it all.

I have an uncle who tried to talk his mother/my grandmother into re-writing her will when they had a 3rd child, so that he would get 3/5 and my father would get 2/5.

This is why it's so important to have a will that's drawn up by a lawyer who specializes in wills and trusts AND keep the will up-to-date.

Also, if the estate is to be divided equally between the heirs, then there is less squable, but if it's not going to be divided equally, then the parents should tell their heirs who gets what before the wills become valid.

It's hard to be 100% fair when it comes to estate division. I mean a parent can will one child one property in one town and another child a property in another town. The purchase values of the properties maybe the same when the parent set up the will, but the realized values of the properties may be different when the will becomes valid.

Is it fair for a parent to will a poorer child more money than a child who is well-to-do? Probably not, but as parents, we all want our children to do well, so if a child is not doing so well, we would want to help the less advantaged child more.

This thread does make me think. What's yours will be yours....what's NOT yours will not be yours.

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