I was reading on myspace about how "fat" people have it so bad. About how you always hear about how good a skinny person has it. That a person would rather have cancer or boils on their face then be fat. That someone would rather die a horable painful death, or lose their limbs then be overwieght. Yes those people exsist but they are few. Have you ever taken the time to think about the life of a "skinny" person?

I have always been thin. It was extremely hard to gain weight until I had my first child. I used to drink weight-on shakes and eat as much as I could. In high school my Dr. ordered me to eat a snack every hour (or break between classes). I graduated at 90 lbs. Now, at 30, I am 120 lbs and in a size 5. The most I have ever weighed , non pregnate, was 130 and in a size 7. I am not saying this because I want to brag or to make anyone feel bad.

Every time I see a new Dr. I have to go through a million tests to see "why" I am so thin. I have had as many, if not more, rude and mean comments as the avarage "fat" person. I have had strangers tell me I must have AIDS, or do drugs, or have an eating disorder. I have even had a co-worker follow me around everyday for 3 months, having lunch with me to make sure I was eating and checking that I didn't go into a bathroom for hours after I had eaten. I didn't even know she was doing this until months later after we became close friends. (We became friends over our many lunches together.)

I agree, everyone has their own kind of "fat." I just disagree that only the ones that show it on the outside suffer. The skinny girls get dirty looks, mean comments and even other women that want to fight them just because they are thin. She also gets rude, sexual comments from guys that think just because she is thin she must want that kind ot attention.

Do I think I am better then you because I am thin? No. Do I want to steal your boyfriend just because I (think) I can? No. Do I want you to hate me because of the way I look? No. I want you to get over my looks and see me for the person I am inside just as much, if not more, then the "fat" girls.

Do not judge me by my looks. Judge me by my personality, the things I say and do, and the person I am inside. Not because the size of my clothes or what the scale says.

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TLJ ~ Where opinions are encouraged, not deleted

You laugh at me because I am different,
I laugh at you because you are all the same.

Your mind is like a parachute, it only works when it is open.

Honey, it is because we are all soooo envious of you, I knew a lady that when she mowed grass on the riding lawn mower she lost 5 lbs. Most of us have never been there and would like to spend a day in your shoes eating chocolate all day long and all the gooey dessert stuff that makes us so fat.
I never thought about all the problems that go with being slim.
The good news is you aren't hounded by the Dr. to lose weight.
Good luck gaining 5 lbs while we are wishing for good luck losing 5 lbs.

I, being a heavier girl, would just like to walk into a store and be able to pick out clothes that fit me, instead of going to a SPECIAL store where the clothes are double if not triple the cost. That sucks. I know that probably sounds stupid but to be able to walk into a store and see something you like and know they will have your size, that has to be nice instead of seeing all clothes that look like an 80 year old would wear it and having to choose that.

You were referring to my bulletin post on myspace. With all due respect the piece was meant to show how people are prejudiced not how "fat people have it so bad"

I am tired of people talking about fat like it is the worst thing in the world. I am not saying my life is horrible or I "have it so bad". I am more referring to people who judge fat as the worst thing in the world.
People don't just think they blurt out things about how fat people are pigs, lazy, etc.

Here is the piece I wrote which the OP is referring to:

EVERY SINGLE Person Alive is FAT!!!
Body: When I see polls that say people would rather lose a limb or have cancer or be in prison than to be fat I think they are lying. Or really really stupid. Or just plain ignorant.

The world seems to have an aversion to people who are not anorexic. Well honey I have been fat for most of my life. Sometimes I was fine, as in high school when I wore size 9 Dittos. (remember those? "hey Anna can I borrow that dime in your pocket?")

But my sister was a size 3 so I was still the "fat one". It didn't help that I grew up in the 70s when skinny was in. But now that I think about it and now that I have read so many books I see that skinny has ALWAYS been in, at least in "modern" times.

Other times I have really been a tub of lard. It has been very hard during these times. People really do just say rude things to you in public. And you can forget about eating anything in front of anyone.

Since when is it anyone's business to go around and be rude? Do you walk up to the crack whore on the corner and say "get a job honey nobody wants those skanky lips on their penis!"? No. Do you walk up to the anorexic person and say "Please for the love of God eat this lasagna!" No.

What many people fail to realize is NOBODY IS PERFECT. We wear our fat on the outside but believe me the rest of you have fat too. You just wear it on the inside. And people can't really see it.

Oh wait except for that skinny bitch smoking cigarette after cigarette and the other one drinking so much beer she goes home with anybody who will take her. And the one who drinks coffee from 4 am to midnight until she goes to bed twitching her shoulder only to start again the next day.

But Lord Almighty at least the pretty little thing isn't fat thank God. We can take it if our kids are deliquents, video games addicts, thieves, rude, or stupid, but not if they are fat.

Come on!!! If God came down and said "Well my Child you can either be a size 30 pants or you can have infectious cancerous boils on your face and ass and die a slow tortorous death" do you really think you would say "Dio mio come ti amo, give me the boils and thank you for giving me a choice in this important matter"

Fat people are not stupid, lazy, dirty, or (contrary to popular belief, infectious).

Think about it. Who is perfect? Even God is not perfect apparantly or the world would not be filled with such an ignorance.

Think about yourself and everyone you know. If you can think of one person whose life is perfect then God bless them. If you can't think about all the things that could go wrong in life and ask yourself if being fat is really the worst thing you can think of.




Basically I read a poll where people said they would rather be in poverty or experience other life traumas than to be fat. People have the mistaken notion that if you are fat, that's it. It defines you. Oh the fat one is the one you're looking for. Oh you know the fat one. See the fat one over there.

It goes on and on. Like the lady who weighs 400 lbs and did not know she was pregnant. People calling her a pig and saying she's a slob because they caught a glimpse of her home in the paper. When is the last time a thin person had their picture in the paper and they were called a pig and lazy slob because the background picture of their home was messy?

I am tired of fat being the worst thing in the world to be.

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.

Speak for yourself. The only people in the world I am envious of are those who are successful, fulfilled and happy. I have no envy for anyone based on their physical appearance. And I am sure many other "fat" people feel the same way. I love myself the way I am and I am a changing evolving human being.

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.

She is speaking for me too. I would love to have one less thing to have to think about, meaning my weight and what I eat, how much I exercised, etc.

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Raising my baby RIGHT!!!!!!

All the cool babies are wearing cloth!

alright, I'll bite....

I was chunky all my life-then I went from fluffy to fat-at 5'9" and over 268lbs. I knew I was fat, but never knew how fat I was until I lost the weight and looked at pics years later-holy cow! Literally....And I never thought ppl treated me different. I thought about it, and felt that ppl treated me the same. Of course, every time I went somewhere, I would look around the room and see if there was anyone bigger than me-usually not. Ok, so I had gastric bypass surgery five years ago. I was tired of being fat. Tired of my kids having a fat mother. Tired of my executive husband having a fat wife. I would dress really well, do my hair and makeup nice, but did ppl really look past the fat? Probably not...So, I made the decision to have the gastric bypass surgery. I was so miserable being fat that I thought, "Well, if I die in the OR, at least I died doing something I really wanted to do." Luckily that wasn't the case-and I got down to 144lbs. And let me tell you-ppl do treat fat ppl differently. I noticed quite a few differences. Like for instance, when ppl talk to you-they actually LOOK at you-not in a boy, I want to jump your bones way, they just look at you, not through you, over you, etc. When I go to a nice store, ppl actually want to help me shop-unless I was at the fat store, there wasn't a whole lot of attention. I feel healthier. I eat better now. I want to eat better. When I was fat, that extra pc. of cake just didn't matter. Now I get on the scales every a.m., and as long as it is under 160lbs., I am fine for the day. I don't sit on the couch every day, flipping through the channels-I hate sitting still now! And I would tell you before that I didn't eat very much. Well, how come once my stomach was stapled, I lost the weight? Obviously I ate quite a bit. It's simple math-garbage in, garbage out. I can honestly say that I am happier being thin than I was fat. I like looking good in my clothes. When ppl say they are fine w/ being fat and comfortable w/ their body even when fat, I just don't buy it....

I am not saying anywhere I am happy "fat". As a matter of fact I jog a mile every night and since October 2006 I have gone down two pants sizes. And everyone on this board reads my posts. I haven't eat meat since 1999. I eat mostly organic foods-high fiber wholesome foods. I don't consume HFCS, enriched flours, processed sugars or artificial this and thats. It takes people time to change anything in their lives. Not everybody is ignorant.


All I am saying is it's time the world stop judging people by the way they look. Why is someone fat? Maybe they are ignorant of what really is healthy, maybe they are sick, maybe unmotivated, maybe they don't really care, maybe they are trying their best.

Some fat people are lazy, stupid, slobs, but so are some people of other sizes. When I posted this bulletin first of all I did not realize people would pass it on other sites. My point is to have people look at themselves to see how and why they judge others and to make the point that there are so many other things in the world to be focused on and worried about.

I just want people to stop judging others by superficial physical characteristics. I did not want nor mean to start an argument between fat and skinny people between people who think everyone should lost weight and those who think people should stay the way they are.

__________________
The political system is broke and it's a joke.

I've been on both sides...growing up I was THIN, never gave a second thought about food....could eat never gained much weight...growing up, yep had tests done to see why I was so thin....

After kids I started putting on the weight....LOL and still am on the fatter side (not obese anymore...anyone who's paying attention...down to 10 levis right now!! WOOHOOO) Anyways, I was FAT...wearing a tight 16...I think I may have had a pair of 18's.....for some reason even though I can get into smaller pants now, I see myself the same as I was when I was a 16....I didn't see myself THAT fat...

OK so from early 20s being thin, and early 30's being fat......SOOOOO much easier being thin. Life is easier when your thin and cute!! (not that all thin people are cute and attractive...) Life is not easy being overweight...I'd prefer to be thin like when I was younger...(and also to be able to eat whatever I wanted but I think those days are long gone..)

I think you just proved my point. You are wearing size 10 Levi's and think you are fat? So you are not anorexic like the magazine models that doesn't mean you are fat. How can a size 10 Levi's be fat unless they are on a toddler or young girl?

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.

Because according to the BMI charts, I really need to loose 19 more lbs to be considered a "healthy" weight, so yes with my body fat % and BMI I am still considered overweight...

She was speaking for me too , especially since she is my mom. I spent most of my childhood chubby and fat. It took me a long time to slim down and I still have to watch what I eat. Ever try telling a little kid don't eat this or that? Doesn't work very well, lol. I wasn't happy being overweight. Some people can look at themselves at a certain weight and be happy, but I am not one of them.

I have a SIL that was overweight by quite a bit and she would always make fun of me somewhat when I started losing weight. It wasn't fun, and she was sometimes mean about it. I just depends on the person's mindset and how they cope with certain things. Weight is one of mine. Thankfully everyone is different, because if we all thought the same, this would be a very boring world.

I am w/ you, I really am. Some ppl just like to find fault in others as it makes them feel better about themselves. Unfortunately, for someone who is overweight, it's just an easy fault to find and an easy way to attack. As far as your diet goes and your exercise routine, that's fabulous-wish I could jog a mile!

annadrose: I am agreeing with you. Everyone is fat in their own way. Everyone has things they need to change. But being skinny can be just as bad as being fat. But people do tell the skanky ho to get a job. People do tell the anorexic chick to eat a lasagna. I get more comments about my looks (bad comments) then anyone I know. Girls ignore me in a store and men google me. It sucks.

I am hypoglycemic (sp??) so I do not eat junk food. It throws off my bloodsugar and I feel like I want to throw-up. I have to watch what I eat just like someone trying to lose weight. I eat a modified Atkins diet. Little sugar, no caffenee, low carbs, lots of veggies. I like to eat healthy, I like to walk with my dogs and play with my kids. I am just tired of people telling me "If I was thin like you I would be able to ......" I take care of my body.

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TLJ ~ Where opinions are encouraged, not deleted

You laugh at me because I am different,
I laugh at you because you are all the same.

Your mind is like a parachute, it only works when it is open.

You don't know how tall or short this individual is? Size ten may very well be overweight for this individual. I understand that you believe that Americans have unrealistic views when it comes to body image (and I'd agree that in SOME cases it is true while also saying that the medical community is saying a good portion are overweight and obese CLINICALLY) but I also think that before you make a snap judgement about something that could impact one's health you should gather all the information.

Well I am very happy now that this was brought up. It is very encouraging and makes me feel good to see people discussing this in this matter. And thank you nellyhill for putting in your opinion from someone on the other side of the spectrum.

It is true. Everyone has "fat". My point was what if everyone's "shortcomings" (for lack of a better word) were worn on the outside like fat? I bet people would be a whole lot less judgemental. If people had a bubble above them that said things like "steals from her Mother" or "compulsive gambler" or "can't be happy because she's obssessed with her hair" then people would be a lot more tolerant of others.

And Linnybop pleae take consideration of your words. "Garbage in garbage out" gives the impression that you are thinking all fat people eat "garbage" when that is not the case and this is my point exactly. People look at fat people and automatically assume "they don't eat correctly...they don't exercise...they eat too many carbs, or sweets, or fats" Sometimes people are fat not because they eat garbage but for other reasons.

nellyhill I am happy to hear your point of view. It is very rare that we hear from someone who feels they are overly skinny.

__________________
The political system is broke and it's a joke.

hi i was 220 and lost down to 145 several years ago so i know how being overweight felt
as for the original poster i think if a coworker followed you around for months then they have a problem
i imagine being underweight is no fun just as being overweight is no fun. i know i never judged a person by their size and never felt threatned by a thin person fat person or any. your right judge a person by who they are not their size. i also dont think anyone would really have cancer or lose a body part to be thin at least i wouldnt its sad to think that someone is so depressed by a body image.

__________________
Tim
My Husband, My Love....Best Dad
You Were Taken From Us Way To Soon
Forever In Our Hearts
We Will Always Love You
2-18-69 TO 12-23-03
http://www.freewebs.com/mcgrathville/index.htm

I have been on both sides. When I was under weight or at my min weight. Guys pay attention to me more. I had guys nearly breaking their legs trying to beat me to the door just to open it for me. One thing I could not stand was the cat calls!! When I had men walking behind me telling how they like to get some of that, nice a** & etc that scared the daylights out of me. I hated going anywhere by myself. When Dh or my mom was with me I still got the whistles but usually not the rude remarks.

Now that I'm over weight I do not have that trouble anymore. I think it has to do with looks..If you are pretty and skinny than guys go crazy over you..... if you are pretty and over weight they don't give you the time of day..Same thing with the girls --they seem think if you are overweight they have nothing to worry about.

Ty banks did a special on this. She walked around in a fat suit --she received rude remarks by men & women..But once the suit was off ... guys were nearly breaking their necks trying to looking at her.If someone is extremely under weight ....people do attend to wonder what is wrong with them. It just the way our society is

I'm 20lbs over weight ...This weight slowly creep up over the years....I have learn to live with it. The only things that makes me feel bad is having family members tell me I need to lose weight. I have always been tiny usually weighing in between 90 - 100 lbs.. when I gain a mere 5 lbs my father told me I was getting chubby I weighed 110 lbs. Now that I'm offically overweight my father make me feel like I'm obese. They tell me all the time I need to lose weight! He even went to the point to tell me My dh is not going to take it..He is going to end up leaving me My dh is fine with my current weight...I have learn to tune my family out!

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Angels may not come when you call them, but they'll always be there when you need them.

It's that kind of mentality and statement that encourages many young girls and women to starve themselves, develop eating disorders and poor body images. I understand that maybe that has been your personal experience, but I can tell you 100% that it's not true for every larger woman. Hollywood, the media and marketing companies perpetuate this kind of message all the time and it's sickening to me. I've even seen a commercial for one of those well known weight loss systems that stated "no man would ever take a second look at a heavy girl walking down the street".

Those kind of comments are not only false, but they can really help damage young, impressionable girl's body image, self esteem and potentially her physical well being if she believes it enough to starve herself trying to be thin. It also bothers me that they are sending a message that you should be a certain weight for men. I don't think you should alter anything about your appearance just to please or attract someone else.

Personally, I am overweight. Even when I was a child, I wasn't really big, but I was bigger than most girls my age. Now, I weigh the most I ever have. Am I happy about it? No, because I don't feel as healthy as I would like to, but there is not a certain "size" that I strive for...just a sense of feeling healthier for myself. However, in response to the comment about men not giving the time of day to overweight girls...it's simply not true. I've had many interested men, regardless of my size throughout my life. Yes, I've even had some who made the rude, sexual comments and catcalls so that's not reserved only for skinny girls either. There are many men who prefer larger women. Even better, there are men who just don't care about size and put more importance on the total person than the weight. height, hair color, etc. That's the type of thought that needs to be encouraged and spread to help the young girls today grow into a good sense of self and a healthy mental attitude about their bodies. Everyone has flaws and attributes, it's just that some you see more easily. I agree that everyone is fat in some way, I just hope that someday we will focus more on getting rid of the fat in our heads than in our bodies.

-OK so from early 20s being thin, and early 30's being fat......SOOOOO much easier being thin. Life is easier when your thin and cute!! (not that all thin people are cute and attractive...)-


What? If you're not thin and cute are you fat and nasty? Out of this whole thread, this comment is what I took offense to. And no, I don't know how tall you are.. but you really do strike me as the "Oh.. I'm so fat type of person (who's not really fat at all)." The girls who said that in high school usually said that to make the *fat* girl feel bad and to make themselves feel better. It just seems cruel to me..

The comments about weight and attention from men..... OK here's my take on it.....

When I was at my HEAVIEST, no I didn't get much attention from the men while I was walking down the street....but it wasn't like I got NO attention, I was still asked out and wasn't made to feel like I was horrible looking. When I was very thin, I got the looks and stares BUT I was never asked out on dates and it was usually just the looks, stares, cat calls, BUT never actually approached as a person, just an object. BUT at both ends I never felt "ugly" by anyone...other than my exH who was (and still is) horribly mean and liked to call me names...(not while we were married but after we seperated)

Anyways, again I think "beauty" is more than just weight....there are heavy women that are GORGEOUS as well as thin women who are....AS well as butt ugly thin and heavy women...

Where's you get fat and nasty from??? wow this tread is getting nasty...How do you know anything about me???

I should probably look up the data, but I'm pretty certain nonetheless that the majority of overweight people (self included) are not eating and exercising correctly. You're right sometimes people are fat not becasue they eat garbage food or too much food (and do not get enough exercise), but most times they are.

cj/

I think she meant the implied assumption is that if "thin=cute" "fat=nasty" because that is what many people do think. And the implication whether you meant it or not is that.

That is my intent to have people think about they say and how it sounds and how it affects others.

She did not insult you she simply is stating that it is certain attitudes and words that perpetuate peoples' beliefs that fat people are somehow lacking or somehow dirty, nasty, sloppy, piggish.

And really to say that you wear size 10 jeans and the charts say you need to lose weight is what the harm is. What charts? Who made the charts? Size 14 was once size to aspire to now it's zero? Negative 1.

This thread is intended to get people thinking and talking not insulting each other. Look in the mirror. How do you feel about yourself? What is it based on?

If you are looking at other people and judging them by superficial physical characteristics, if you even think to yourself "she's fat because.." or "she's skinny because.."



then maybe you don't even realize you have an issue with this.

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.

I didn't mean to come across like that.. I was just saying when I was skinny I got more attention from men than I do now.. Tyre banks was doing a show on overweight people...She did the experiment and was shock at the response she got from people when she wore the fat suit.

Your are right about it affecting one self esteem.. I have a very low self esteem since my weight gain..When you have someone telling you are fat and you need to lose weight all the time it does a numebr on you. This all started when I was at healthy weight.. I tell my dh now they can call me fat they have a reason too now

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Angels may not come when you call them, but they'll always be there when you need them.

This is exactly what I am talking about. Blanket judgements: "the majority of overweight people are not eating and exercising correctly"


If it took 20, 30 years to get "fat" it may take half that long (or more)of good healthy habits for your body to completely recover.
What about genetics? Some people eat horrendous stuff and never gain a pound. So people look at fat people and automatically assume they are neither eating right nor exercising. Hmmm does that mean they look a thin person and automatically assume they DO eat correctly and exercise daily?

Because I can guarantee you that is NOT the case.

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.

I am heavy and I'm Cute!! I am overweight and on steroids. Hum does that make me lazy. You never know what someone is going through and to judge that is crazy. Everyone is assuming way too much. Being thin does not make anyone happy nor does being heavy. It's your choice as to how you feel. If your a thin person and happy with your life good for you. If you are heavy and happy with your life good for you. I don't think it's a weight thing I think it's an emotional thing. Why would anyone fight over who is happier or why someone is over weight or why someone is underweight or why someone is a perfect size. It is all in how we percieve ourselves that's all that is important.

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cmemaloy@yahoo.com


I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.

Life! is a coin. You can spend it anyway you wish, but you can only spend it once.

BRAVO!!!!! It is YOUR choice how you feel!! Who cares what others think....

I second this statement. And add... do not think that someone is better off just because they are thinner, have bigger boobs, a different color hair, or nicer things then you. It is what is on the inside that counts.

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TLJ ~ Where opinions are encouraged, not deleted

You laugh at me because I am different,
I laugh at you because you are all the same.

Your mind is like a parachute, it only works when it is open.

The grass isn't always greener on the other side. 'Nuff said.

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I found Jesus! He was behind the couch!

I think you're right about that. A really good friend of mine was really overweight with diabetes, health problems, etc. When I'd visit or we'd go out to eat, she'd eat two to three times as much as I did. I could never figure out how she could 'hold' all of it. Then last winter she decided to go on a diet. She joined the gym, watched what she ate and lost at least 50 lbs. and dropped down to a size 14. She looked great and she said she felt so much better. So much better that she could stop her blood pressure and diabetes medicine. Then she got 'lazy' and started eating the extra calories and sweets and stopped exercising. She is now right back up to her 'before' weight and is back taking all her meds again.

That is just one example, but I'm sure there's plenty more like her. I'm not saying everyone is like that but just look at people who go to McD's, Burger King, etc., and watch what they order.

Speaking of BK and McD, a value meal...or a super value meal...or whatever they call them is really more food /calories than most people should consume. Not to mention that it has limited nutritional value. Even if I look back on my own lifetime, portion sizes have increased so much that I don't think we have a handle on what they should be anymore...

My statement wasn't meant to be a judgment, it was meant to be a statement of fact that I believe most in the medical profession would agree with. My dr. certainly does....and the dr. that I had before her.... And for what it's worth, I am personally overweight and I know exactly what I need to do to solve it, I just don't seem to have the willpower at this stage of the game...


cj/

You Are All Beautiful .....

__________________
Tim
My Husband, My Love....Best Dad
You Were Taken From Us Way To Soon
Forever In Our Hearts
We Will Always Love You
2-18-69 TO 12-23-03
http://www.freewebs.com/mcgrathville/index.htm

A little off topic but the problem is the FOOD....its BIG BUSINESS and all the stuff they add to the food is what makes it so yummy and ADDICTING...they want people to overeat the food and come back for more....more we eat the more money they make.... (I could go on and on about big business and the government but then it would be totally off topic...LOL)

I never once thought I was fat until I starting dieting!! Seriously isn't that the craziest thing!!

I understand how you must feel and have been through some things you have mentioned.I am thin but not too thin,I have been thin before,but it has been a struggle my entire life to keep myself this way.I LOVE to eat and I constantly have to diet everyday to keep myself "thin".Its hard.I would put up with ALL that you posted to be able to eat several times a day like that and not gain weight.

I have been a size 6 and I have been at my heaviest, a size 12. Men didn't pay less attention to me becaue I was overweight. It's an attitude...it's how you feel about yourself. I've always try to feel like I am beautiful. Granted, it is easier now to walk in and find clothes as a size 8 than a size 12 but it doesn't mean I am happier. Life can be hard for everyone. We each have our own demons. I hate blanket judgements because my mom was one of the end of one. She had hives after giving birth to my brother. Doc put her on steroids. She gained 80 lbs in that year because of the steroids. Mom wasn't an exercizer but she had never had a weight problem until then. People assumed she must eat like a cow or something and I took offense to it.

A big issue I have is that I feel good with my body. I am currently a size 8 and 5'3". Doesn't sound too bad does it? BUT according to BMI, I am overweight. If I remember correctly, I am *supposed* to be about 110-125 lbs. I haven't weighed that since I was 16! I did get down to a size 6 for 2 years but I couldn't have fries, margs (my sin) or chips with my salsa at restaurants. Being one size less wasn't worth it to me. I can live my life and eat regularly and be an 8.

I feel for anyone with body issues and those who get negative attention because of their bodies. We aren't just fat or skinny....we just are. At least to me

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

I have been on both sides of the fence!!! The grass isn't always greener on the other side no matter which side you are on.

When I was younger I was skinny and I thought I was fat, in highschool I weighed 135 lbs and by the time I got around to the end of my senior year I dropped to 128lbs and then to 119lbs. The thing is I was very stupid in how I lost the weight. I sometimes would go 3 days without eating anything, and if I had a real bad hunger pain I would allow myself to have one little cookie. My parents had no idea I was starving myself and niether did anyone else. I was more confident skinnier. Then I had people starting to harp on me that I was too skinny, and I didn't look healthy. Well they never started saying all that stuff until I actually started eating normal or healthier again. I started dating my husband and I was too embarrassed to eat in front of him, I never wanted him to see me eating because I thought I was fat, even at 119lbs.

I guess the point I am trying to make is that when I was skinny I heard about it and my aunt even accused me of smoking pot, (of course not to my face) she thought I was in to drugs and that was how I was so skinny. That really made me mad.

After I had my daughter I had gained some weight and this SAME aunt was on the phone with me one day and said "Well I am not trying to hurt your feelings but YOU really DO need to lose weight" I thought wow how do you tell someone that? I knew it, but it didn't make me feel any better about actually losing it. I felt discouraged and pressured.

My own mother will tell me that I need to get some of that weight off of me to this day. Well I lost 23lbs but then since my mother has been staying with me over the last month I have gained 10lbs back!!! I need to work that off. I think I was stress eating and I don't ever feel like I am free to move around my house with someone else sitting here. Then she notices I lost weight and then I heard her telling my other aunt on the phone I lost a bunch of weight and for some reason THAT right there puts alot of pressure on me and irritates me so I think that is another reason why I started gaining back.

I don't mind someone complimenting me and telling me I look good, but let's not keep on the subject because it makes me feel nervous like everyone is watching me. I feel like a failure if I gain any of it back.

It's a never ending battle.

Face it we are all human and things are going to suck no matter who you are and what you look like because SOMEONE out there will always find something wrong with you.

Nobody is perfect. You can't please everyone. Live for yourself and not what others think because you aren't hurting anyone but yourself worrying about all of it. Trust me I have learned the hard way and I have struggled with myself alot.


I do have to note: I do not like to see someone bend over and thier crack showing or someone wearing a half shirt and the belly flab hanging out, I think it is gross. I have a problem with the way people dress more then thier size.

I don't like to go to the beach with my kids and see women wearing thongs in front of them. That REALLY irritates me. I think it is wrong.

I don't care whos fat or who is skinny just as long as they ring my coupons up at the cash register!

I have never *seen* skinny or fat when I have made friends or broken off friendships...! Enjoying someone's company has always something much deeper than that for me. BUT, that said, I am very hard on myself in regards to my own weight because I am very aware of what other people do and say so I tend to develop closer friendships with people who do NOT put too much focus on looks but who seem very confident with who they are RIGHT NOW.

I have never been obese and also never been overly thin... Usually in the size 10-14 range at 5'8". So, I work very hard on learning to love myself for who I am and what I have to offer other people. I do not generally discuss weight or size with anyone -- skinny or fat. Weight/size can fluctuate too much from day to day for it to be so important to me or to my friends!

Our society really does need to change it's focus on weight as there are many in the unhealthy range (obese/anorexic) that need to know that 10, 12. 14, etc. sizes are OK!!!

Be healthy.

I have always been thin, it has always been difficult for me to gain weight and the dr recently put me on Welbutrin and I lost about 5 lbs and am trying rea hard to put some weight on (if I loose any more I wont have any boobs left ) Any way for some reason people have always felt the need to tell me I need to gain weight, I am to thin....I am 5'2'" and normally go about 110 or so..but I fine boned too..

I guess my point is I would never tell someone who is overweight that they really should loose weight so where people get off telling me to gain weight? To me it isn't any different, I eat...I may not eat a lot at one time but I do eat off and on all day....

EXACTLY!!!

I have been way too skinny and way too overweight. When I was too skinny people thought I must be sick or something and when I am overweight they think I must have a thyroid disease or something.

As a teen I would drink weight gain shakes all the time to try and put some curves on a 5'11 inch frame. Who knew that all I had to do was have three kids and seven knee surgeries to pack on the pounds!

I honestly think it is how you carry yourself, a confident woman shines through no matter what her weight is...Queen Latifah comes to mind.

I never weigh myself, because according to the charts I should weigh a certain amount that is considerable lower than I would ever want to. When I was at my thinest I was 148 and looked like death...but was in the "normal" range. I am comfortable in my body and the extra weight is okay as long as I feel good.

I think it is a persons own opinion of what feels best to them that is important...

Edited to add: My best friend in the whole world is beautiful and thin as can be...yet she is always worried about her size. Now I have told her she is getting too thin and it is aging the hell out of her...but she has been my best friend since 7th grade so I can do that... I really wish she could she what I see and not worry so much.

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#3 Gone To Race In A Better Place...

Ok, I'm jumping in. I haven't read all the responses but I will say I have also been on both sides of the fence. Two years ago I was 290 lbs., and made the decision to have Gastric bypass surgery. I did it for myself, as I felt like hell, had sleep apnea, aches, pains...I do think people tended to look "through" me, and I did think that alot of my troubles would go away if I was thin. I knew I was heavy because I did love to eat. Fast food, and sweets, cookies, cake.. I didn't blame anyone or anything for my being heavy. I knew it was my fault. I chose the RNY bypass so I couldn't eat the sugary stuff that was my downfall. I needed that measure. I remember my dad saying the ol "You have such a pretty face if you would just lose weight". OY. I do think people judged what I put in my mouth, did I care? Nope, cause it tasted good.

So here I am, two years later. I did develop alot of complications from this surgery, and am right now, home..unable to work, on TPN feedings, with severe vitamin deficiencies which resulted in nerve and muscle damage, been through three surgeries since my bypass, one for an ulcer, and one was emergency for adhesions, and one for emergency intestinal hernia. Yes, it was great for a year, I could get all the cute clothes, I didn't feel self concious, I had more self esteem, and I think I was more outgoing and not afraid to make noise as I didn't care anymore if someone saw me. I didn't have to remain in the background. Did my problems go away with becoming thin? No, and now I have worse ones.

Did being thin stop people from judging what I put in my mouth? Nope, now everyone watched what I ate still. And after getting sick, I found out that everyone said I looked like crap, was too thin, that I looked like a junkie..blah blah blah. How come everyone felt the need to comment on my looks while I was thin, when I was fat, I never remember someone telling me I looked like crap, was too fat..blah blah blah.

I have a best friend who is over 300 lbs now, and said she could never have the surgery, because she had no self control. Ok, but she still blames everything that goes wrong in her life on being fat. That is not so. I think alot of it is attitude and outlook on life in general. You can be overweight but have a great attitude, roll with the punches, and give off a different "aura". You can also do this being thin. I think that our attitude and feelings about ourselves have alot to do with the way people will treat us.

If you are miserable all the time being heavy OR thin, people will respond to that vibe you send off.

And then there are always the people who will judge EVERYONE for one thing or another. Too fat, too thin, not dressed good enough, bad haircut, smoker, nonsmoker, picked the wrong makeup looks lke a clown, car is dirty, must be white trash..yada yada yada.

But all in all, if I could feel normal again, I'd trade being thin for it, that's how rotten I feel.

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Eileen

**Some people are like Slinky's, not really good for anything, but you can't help laugh when you see one tumble down the stairs**

Eileen, I an so sorry that you've had complications. My RNY was in 5 years ago (in May LOL) and I have had several surgeries trying to correct defects that my body seems determined to create as a result of this procedure. All in all, I have to admit that it also uncovered this new mental toughness in me that I didn't possess when I was constantly starving myself and exercising too much before my surgery.

Anyway, I hope you get past this and reach a point where your body and this surgery get along.


(((hugs)))

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Your true colors are shining through.....

Thank you. The surgeon said something about reversal when we were discussing my TPN. This was the end result of an entire year of EMG's and neurologists, thinking I had MS or something. Noone could figure it out. When my surgeon saw me in February and how weak I was, he said he had to do something to give me somewhat of a boost. I agreed, as he said this or we may have to consider reversal. He said he has seen a few patients who just did not fair well after surgery. I told him I must be his cross to bear, it's been one thing after another wth me. He was the only one who tried to do something to help me, (the TPN) and it was only after starting this and seeing a Metabolic Nutritionist that the Thiamine deficiency and B12 deficiency, and Protein deficiency (which I used to consume over 100 grams a day so I can't figure that one out) and all this showed up. I do love my surgeon and am PO'd that all the doctors I saw never picked up on any of this. Bariatric Beri-Beri, Wernicke's Encephalopathy...the next stage is almost a coma state as my thiamine levels were virtually non-existent. Scarey. Needless to say, I've had these symptoms for over a year, and the nutritionist started me on massive B1 doses in my TPN, but I am doubtful about recovery, as I don't feel one bit different.

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Eileen

**Some people are like Slinky's, not really good for anything, but you can't help laugh when you see one tumble down the stairs**

This was on the front page of MySpace when I visited a few minutes ago:

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fu...oid=2015875871

"A Fat Rant"

WOW!!!! everyone should watch that!!

Very good... beautiful woman inside and out. Thanks for sharing. Her essay is worth a read as well on MySpace: blog.myspace.com/joynash

I didn't work on Mozilla but did work on Internet Explorer... Probably something with my settings but maybe other can see if they try different browsers.

She says what I am thinking. I hope that her *rant* catches on and that individuals can change their attitudes toward their own fat...