Okay I am sure at one time or another a relative has been mean to your child but you want to keep peace right? Well this past week when my DD was hospitalized a sibling of mine gave my 8 yr old DD a very hard time accusing her of breaking into her sons webkins site (can you imagine!). While I was in the ER I get a phone call from DD telling me and crying. They are only 8 yrs old. Then my sibling wanted to call my neighbors house she felt she was involved also. I had enought pressure and felt this was very rude knowing the serious medical condition my other dd was in.
Well to make matterw worse when she came to visit us in the Hospital she did several upsetting things to this child and I told her that they are 1st cousins and that we should let them work out these situations themselves and teach them never to give out passwords. She said that she absolutley disagrees and that she is very upset. Here I am with major problems and she is upset over webkins AGH!
Next Day she comes up to visit brings 2 big gatorades goes into the food room makes her kids lunch in the hospital patient room of Chicken Noodle Soup crackers and peanut butter and serves her kids without asking my daughter (8 yr old) also who is her Godchild. I made it a point to ask my daughter if she wanted a Gatorade and picked up the phone and ordered her one from room service and made her a bowl of soup. When they left she kissed everyone in the room goodbye including me my parents etc and walked right by my daughter who was so visibly upset.
That night she told my Mother about Webkins event and that I don't disipline my child and that she is a brat sneak and liar. Nice Aunt isn't she not to mention Godmother. My Mom disagreed and told her to let the kids work out their kids problems and then she really got mad.
I haven't called her because I am emotionally so hurt and also exhausted from spending a week in the Hospital.
Aren't there bigger things in life yes but I give my kids my all and anyone except her that knows me knows how well behaved and how I have always enforced didsipline and rules.
PROBLEM: My mother is nervoous that I will say something which I feel I have every right to but she has asked me not to.
WHAT WOULD YOU DO!!! And yes I do believe in Karma so she will certainly get hers I am sure.
But these are little kids and my DD has done a lot of crying over this this week as everytime she tries to talk to her she gets scolded.

Stressful week thanks for hearing my vent

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Without Health you have no Wealth!

Wow!! unbelievable behavior... I'd be down her throat. You just don't treat kids like that over something so minimal.

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Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like. - Will Rogers

Wow-that one REALLY takes the cake! I would have told her to leave the hospital-you were under so much stress there. Sounds like she's one of those ppl who can't handle any one else (your older daughter) getting all the attention. Does she always have to be in the spotlight? She sounds like a really toxic person-not one that you need to be around. Even if your younger daughter did do what she said, big deal! There are definitely more important things going on in your life than stupid webkinz-whatever the hell they are. And pls uninvite her to your daughter's b-day/confirmation party-she obviously doesn't need to be there.

Linnybop Oh my God you summed it up *Toxic* . I am trying to be the bigger person here but this is so painful right now and I don't know if I can keep from saying anything to her or I am just going to explode. You also hit the nail on the head when you said she can't handle anyone getting all the attention as she always says to my parents how my oldest daughter is their favorite. Very insecure person who has a vivid imagination because they are all special to my parents.
I just feel crushed that a little girl has to have these feelings from a grown up let alone aunt/godmother!

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Without Health you have no Wealth!

Okay, well this person does have way to much time on her hands and not enough brains to fill up a chipmunks head!! I would have had the nurse remove her immediately and forbid her to come back. She is the grown-up....god could you imagine what will happen if someone does something to her on purpose!!! I think someone needs to get a life!

Sad that your dd had to see the true color of her Aunt at such an early age. This should be one of TLC Life Lesson's, just because you are related to a person doesn't mean they are going to be nice to you or even like you.

I would say anything to the nut case, you have had enough stress and who really needs more? What good would it do to say anything? She sounds like she has her opinion and she is always right.

If your dd did break into the Webkins site, wow she's really good! You really need to get her into some computer classes!

Oraf7--- the next time this happens you need to tell your sister flat out. Your family is going thru a crisis and this is NOT the time to discuss this matter! I would tell her you need words of encourgement and so does your 8 year daughter. She may be young but I'm sure she is aware of everything around her. I was 9 when my sister starting going into the hospital and my parents didn't have tell me how criital ill my sister was..

You would think your sister would be the one brining you lunch NOT feeding her family at the hospital. She has the convince of eating at home!

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Angels may not come when you call them, but they'll always be there when you need them.

There are several stories about my husband's stepmother...this one is a little like yous. I have to say I cannot hold back. I say what I think... I do not raise my voice or use foul language, but I blast them! Christmas Eve is celebrated each year at my father-in-law's. He remarried a woman 10 years younger than himself with 5 children ( the oldest was 12 and the younest 1) 3 months after DH and I were married. My husband is the oldest and we had the first children. No special fuss was made over them by my fil and his wife... no big deal. When her children had her first grandchild and my children were 4, 6, and 8, she had gifts from one end of the room to the other for HER grandbaby. She had given each of my 3 children an ants in the pants, don't break the ice, and another $5 game (at the time). My little sweeties politely thanked her and held their gift( they already had these and I had told them to be gracious and thank people even if they already had the gift...we would go to the store another day and exchange it for something else. After about 1/2 hour of watching every toy immaginable being opened for this new 15 mo. old I stood up and told my husband we had to leave and started hustling the children to the door and putting their coats on as we were on our way out. I told my husband we had to leave now! He came and starting putting the children in the car and making sure they were buckled in. My fil came out to the car and asked what was going on ( he's a sweetheart and close with DH) I walked him back into their garage and told him point blank that it was not any of my business what SHE bought for HER grandchild for Christmas or any other time, but we will not return to their house and allow our children to be subjected to watching this young one open gift after gift after gift while they sit there with the cheapest one toy that can be purchased at the store. I told him I would not let my children think that I would let a person let along a grandparent disrespect them so much and me do nothing about it. I told him that while we were there one gift for each would be opened and after we left she could buy them the world, but not to do it in front of my children. That settle that, It's been 20 years since then..my rules still apply, SHE doesn't like me and I could care less, but my children know that I am there for them and will not let anyone take advantage of them. No, they did not turn into big babies. This was an adult hurting the feeling of a child, a special circumstance. They had to fend for themselves and often times learn the hard way dealing with those their own age. I just felt that a 4 yr. old cannot (and was taught to be respectful to all adults) defend them against a spiteful 45 yr. old woman.
Basically my choice would be to tell my sister that if she wants to treat me like dirt she can, but when she as an adult goes after my child.....she is asking for trouble.

Good luck!

You were so much nicer than I ever could have been. She is spiteful and mean picking on a child. You need to say something to your daughter to let her know that you will always be there for her--even if she did something minimally wrong--and that she will never be subjected to treatment such as this again. Take your psycho sister aside out of earshot of anyone else and tell her if she ever treats your daughter like that again, that will be the last time she will see your child or yourself. YOU will not be losing anything but toxic waste---she will be the loser in that situation. Your mother needs to let you guys work this out between yourselves.....she is no longer responsible for you...and should be thankful she does not have to take the blame for actions such as those of your sister!

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"Well-Behaved Women SELDOM make history."Laurel Thatcher Ulrich


"Yesterday is but a vision, and tomorrow is only a dream. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a dream of hope." Anonymous

"Your candle does not lose it's light by lighting another candle" Generosity

Have the courage to be yourself.

One time I logged onto webkinz (after the kids were in bed, of course!) and to my horror, my sister had sold and re-modeled my (daugher's) pet's room! I eventually got over it, but I still to this day feel like something is missing. Poor Pinky the pig has never been the same either.

Tell your sister that we could start a Webkins victim support group. lol

I've had to deal with similar family matters during and after the death of my grandma 8 years ago. I think it's time you get the toxic people out of your life and the life of your daughter. You need to surround yourself with friends and family that value you and value your daughter....not those who put you down and hurt you. I would have a "talk" with her and explain that you will NOT tolerate her recent behavior towards your daughter. If she scoffs or tries to throw it off onto something/someone else, walk away. Do not allow your daughter to be with her and explain why. Don't lie to your child. Say that Aunt XXX is having anger issues that she's dishing out onto you. I don't know why and she refuses to listen to me so we aren't going to be seeing her for awhile. As for your mom...well, she can't tell you that you have to talk to/see your sister. I stopped talking to and seeing my aunt 8 years ago and one by one, my other relatives saw that I was right nand now she doesn't see/talk to any of us. Sad? Not really. I am much happier surrounding myself with better people


Good luck!

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

rebecarr, Too funny but how do you know that your sister changed the rooms. Was she the only one with the password. I know that my nephew gave his out to friends but is probably lying to my sister for some crazy reason. Wow I didn't know this was such an obsession with these kids. Support group needed asap LOL!

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Without Health you have no Wealth!

We don't pick our relatives, we just get stuck with them!

Sad, but some of them we would never tolerate if we weren't related to them.
Most of us have at least one!!

I am sorry she chose now to be nasty. you didn't need it!

my hubbys sister used to treat our daughter differntly than her sisters kids. I let it go until the third time I seen her give the other kids something and not our daughter. I told her that she was a rude (*&^%* and we left. My hubby decided that we would not go around her any more.and we havent. Our daughter is now 21 and still remembers when her aunt gave the others some gum and not her. she despises her and the aunt knows this.

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Seriously? Are you kidding me?

Are you your child's advocate or not?

Would you put up with this crap from a non-relative?

DH's parents have been blatently toxic to my 2 ds over the years. It would take a book to write all they have pulled over the years but suffice to say I do not speak to them presently. They have done the buy my kids cheap gum machine christmas gifts while buying another GC expensive toys...ignoring them...forgetting about their birthdays..I could go on and on and on. I totally understand what you are saying OP & it really is unfair that some of us were shortchanged in the relative dept...

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Live, Love, Laugh

We moved away from the area where my mother lives (not because of her, but because of job change but it worked out great!).

We now only invite her to visit if a friend is with her and for max of 3 nights here and we only visit her area twice a year (3 nights) and stay with other relatives and so that we can keep visits with her to a minimum -- few hours at a time with us in control. I don't like to have to have *rules* but it really is THE only way. We are very consistent with these rules and don't bend them. She knows the drill!!!

The minute that we let her take control, things get toxic... for me and for my kids. She has become more and more bitter over the years with declining health and as a result of her attitude toward other people. So sad to me. But, long ago I had to realize that I could not change her and her behavior was not my responsibility. She was like this with my brother and I when we were children and I can't allow her to repeat with her grandchildren (who are her ONLY grandchildren).

Luckily, I have a very supportive and protective (of me!) DH.

***Coping Tip!!! Counselor taught me how to write scathing letters to my 'toxic' person/people and then throw away the letters. That really has helped over the years... Delete, don't send though!

Oraf, I knew it was her b/c she couldn't wait for me to find out so she told me. It's actually a joke, changing the rooms around (and the fact that we are adults playing with a kid's toy.)

Yes, I admit it, I did change her rooms…It was immature but very fun! Oh yea and Rebeccarr, the thing that you are missing is your cashcow trophy. I was jealous that I wasn’t able to get to level 7 and I sent it to myself as a gift. I will send virtual cash for your virtual counseling to cope with your loss.

The fact that your sister was upset enough about this to yell at your daughter is absolutely absurd! It's virtual reality. It's not real! To your sister (and mine): Get a grip!

She seriously sounds like if the attention is focused on someone else, she has to create drama to channel the attention back to her. Does she have a history of this type of behavior?

She has a virtual brain and her and her husband think everyone is out to get them and that is what they are teaching thei9r kids. Also tryin to let me look bad saying she has called to see how my sick daughter is doing. Well with 4 cell phones and 2 other lines and CALLER ID she needs to stop saying to mama phones don't work. Well Easter should be really fun with the relatives!!

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Without Health you have no Wealth!

Same here. True story......about 2 years ago at XMAS, it was the big get together with the in-laws. I put on my "big girl panties" and played along. All the other nieces and nephews got nice (read: expensive) gifts from their Aunts and Uncles. My kids, well, didn't. DD got a cheesy jewelry set from K-mart....you know the kind, like 20 different earring and necklace sets in a plastic box. Well, there was so much dust on that box, I took my finger and drew a smiley face, and showed SIL (who gave it to her) and the whole family, since we opened everything in a HUGE circle. But, like I said, I played the game. No more. You don't have to like me, OR my kids, but, I won't tolerate anyone treating them like 2nd class citizens in their own family!!!


You have to set boundaries and lay down clear guidelines. Sad, but, true.

Good Luck.

Didn't mean to hijack your thread

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