Ok...my dh is is MD and I'm here in SC....DH has been going to some really good places to eat and play cards and I have sat home every weekend, well tonight dh "arranged" for me to go out and have fun. Which was great but this is what I want to ask you guys to see if I'm being silly..The group was 3 girls and 2 guys and one of the girls kept talking about how goodlooking my dh was, on & on & on. I can tell this girl has a crush on my dh. Before we get into self-esteem and all that, I'm considered goodlooking or whatever , so I've been told ( sorry to sound conceited). Would this get on your nerves and what would you say to her?

Sorry for the rant but I had to get this off my chest.

Christine

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TLJ ~ Women United in Spirit

NO, I don't think it would get on my nerves. My DH is also an attractive man and has humor, smiles, knowledge pretty much the entire package....normally men are missing something. LOL He is always getting hit on and it does not bother me. I know he comes back home with me and we have a very strong relationship....Plus 5 girls...now..do you think he wants to pay child support. It also gives him a little something(compliments, big head whatever you want to call it) being noticed. Not being conceited but I am also an attractive woman. We both get compliments all the time but we just chalk them up. I am a blunt person so I prob would have caught her off guard(that way it was not too noticeable in a group setting) and then say something about......"X you know he is taken. But DH is a looker HUH? You can look but you can't touch(in a smirk tone so you are coming off in a joking manner but she gets the hint)".....and then I would have given DH a kiss.

But really just chalk it up to you finding and having a good lookin man.

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Give me the wisdom and grace to understand

Tracy S
Mommy to 5 little girls
Victoria
Alyssa
Samantha & Selena
Malaya
Tracy_s5girls@yahoo.com

I love it when people tell me my dh is goodlooking. I always add to it and tell them what a great father he is! lol

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Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like. - Will Rogers

I think that I recall that he has been or will be gone for a few months and you do not have children (besides Chico the Chihuahua... see, I'm getting good at this, lol)?

I don't know... This is a difficult question as I have never been in this situation. It would be extremely hard for me to be far away from my spouse for any length of time.

I think that my approach would be to talk with him. I am sure that this is part of the package when you are apart like you are -- very open communication. Other girls' looks really are not even anything to worry about if your DH is truly committed to you and you have a completely committed relationship. Keep the lines of communication open with HIM and hopefully, he will set your mind at ease.

Meantime, I'd be sure to visit and/or go stay with him or have him home as MUCH as possible. Probably a huge challenge but so worth it when it is your marriage at stake. Don't 'sit home every weekend' ANY more or find a compromise so that you take turns each weekend or??? He's coming home every weekend, right?

Also, if it helps, you can find a good counselor in your area to help you through this time. Hugs to you.

Edited to add -- one more thing... I want to say that NO, it would not be acceptable for my DH to go out with a group with women on his off days... The looks part aside, it would not be acceptable to me. That is only asking for trouble; especially if alcohol is involved. That is the part of your story that would bother me and I'd be sure to talk it over with my DH and ask him how it would feel to him if I was going out with a group of men every weekend, etc... Make him see your side. He will.

Cuthie

You're good girl great memory!, Vance (dh) is about 8 1/2 hours away from me. He came home 2 weekends ago and I will be going to see him April 14th for a month or so. This job will be for 1 year and this is very hard for me because of my grandmother. I am very close to her and we were in Wyoming for 5 mths this past year ( I went with him on that job) and she lost so much weight while I was gone so I'm torn between staying here and going to be with Vance.

Vance does not go out with girls and guys to clubs. He does like the bar scene unless he's on the bike, which is here and he does not drink much at all. He goes out to eat by himself or with a guy at his work or plays cards with the guys from work.

Vance wanted me to get out of the house. I'm the one that went out last night with a group of people and one of the girls just kept saying over and over again how goodlooking Vance was and I guess it just struck me wrong and I was not the only one, one of the guys told her to get over it.

Christine

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TLJ ~ Women United in Spirit

I agree, Christine. That is strange. I can see someone mentioning his good looks once if it fit in the conversation in some way....but more than that, what's the point? Odd.

I don't think you have anything to be jealous of though based on what you've said. Ticked off or puzzled...but jealous, not really. He's YOUR man, not hers.

cj/

Yes, I would of gotten mad.. You can complement someone once but not over over again.. Just imagine what she would of done behind your back if she was that bold in front of you! In my opinion when someone is this bold they are trying to send a single to that person..If you want me you can have me.

I would of set the little missy straight! I would of said....Yes, I know he is goodlooking that is why he has that little ring on his finger ...He's mine darlin!

Early in our marriage one of Dh best friends was in town and wanted to pay us a visit.. Dh was at work when he was talking on the phone with him..He kept telling my dh ..How beautiful I was & how lucky he was to have someone like me.. This guy told me the same thing on the phone..I thought how sweet!

Well when he was over at our house..As soon as dh back was turn he tried to kiss me. I knew better to tell dh what just happen..There would been no way I could break a fight up between those two. As soon as he left ..I told dh what had happened..He told me it didn't surprise him one bit.

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Angels may not come when you call them, but they'll always be there when you need them.

I don't think I would have kissed DH just to prove he's mine. Would that be like peeing on a tree if you are a dog? Jealousy is not sexy. However I would have thanked her for the compliment and in a way that would have stopped the excess compliments, b/c unless she's sloshed I don't see any reason to say it more than once. Could that have been why the loose tongue? Anyhoo, just do what I do take it as a compliment....and be glad you don't have an ugly man!!