Carries post made me think..and I really hope she doesn't mind that I am doing this...We were talking about high school and she made this post and it made me think.

Gosh do I miss it.. That's where I met the love of my life we dated freshmen year until we were sophmores and he went into the military and I couldn't live that life style so we split up. What a mistake...I did really love him and always will. I have seen him a few times since and we both are married but still feel breaking up was a huge mistake. BOOHOO for me I know get over it.
Class of '93
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Is there anyone in your life that you have never gotten over? Please don't fuss at my grammar....
I have been married for 17yrs. to a pretty good guy. But just can't help to think about the "one that got away." He was a Navy Seal-his muscles had muscles. I was 18 and he was 26. He was so handsome and I can still picture his smile and had some other talents too that I won't mention. We only dated for about 5 mos. -he did have a girlfriend from his hometown, and I knew this all along. But it wasn't just the awesome bod, awesome sex-we just had such a connection mentally and had the best conversations. He eventually chose her....Several mos. later, I was in the I.D. ofc (my dad was military too) and there was this very large pregnant lady..They called her by name and I almost fell out of my seat-it was her, now married to him....My best friend and I *who were so cute at this stage* just laughed our butts off. And when I was called to the window, the guy asked what was so funny. And I told him that I used to date HER husband. He asked when, and checked the marriage date and said it was all good, but why the hell did he marry her and not me?? lol....Fast forward, about a year later, I was dating DH-saw this guy at a stoplight. He motioned for me to pull over-I wanted to w/ all of my heart, but something told me just to keep going. To this day, I really wish I would have stopped to talk to him, to see what he had to say....I honestly don't know what I would do if I saw him tomorrow.....

Anyone else have a story to share?

I think the ones I have thought about over the years have been more like the "Lust of my life" rather than the "love of my life". Now ,I think that the love of my life = paycheck, home on time, no drugs, beer on weekends, no women chasing, and a 50 year old beer belly. Funny how time changes one's perspective.

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Lyn Clarke

That's funny... that is exactly what my thoughts were!!! My DH really is the *love* of my life. It's true love.

DH and I met in college and that was it for the both of us. So we must be real good ropers..LOL!

My husband is the love of my life, has been for 25 years and always will be.

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Brenda

GO #24 JEFF GORDON

mine is sitting over here in the recliner.lol

I think that we all have ones that make us think, what if. However I also think time and distance make our memories selective. There is a reason that the connection wasn't there. I am a full believer in living in the here and now. I have some wonderful memories of past loves, but I also have a sweetie that for the last 17 years has been with me through everyday life, at my best and my worst. Everyday he makes me remember what drew me to him in the first place.
He makes me smile.
Not just a polite, mellow smile.
A smile that I feel all the way to my heart. Oh yeah he can drive me absolutely crazy, but our fit is so good that it always comes back to the fact that I feel happy. secure, and protected with him.

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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass
It's about learning to dance in the rain.

you are definitely right-I do love my husband-he is so good for me, where I know the other guy would have been totally wrong. And right now, I still picture him as a hunky 26yr. old; while now he probably has a beer gut and a bald spot! lol...It's just after 17yrs., four kids, and all the crap we've been through (and he has been my rock this year), sometimes it's fun to remember those hot,lusty days of youth...sigh...

I love this post...I also know that I am wrong for feeling the way I do. I also agree with "cash" we change memories and forget the bad. He truly was the love of my life and there is no changing that.
I also want to say that I love my husband but maybe not in love with him. I sound like a terrible person and I really am not.I do whatever he needs and support everything he does. I also I know it is not fair for my husband that he does not have my whole heart which he deserves!!! He does deserve better than that. I am very practical and and so thankful that I did experience love once in my life and I always have my dreams.
I think I have stated in other posts about my husband and son they both have a form of Asperger Syndrome so it is hard to connect with him. My life is different than many others so anyone that wants to judge me please do so if you could handle the things I have to live with.
I have gotten emails from my ex and he would love to meet again which I would never let happen. He is married with children and so am I. Again, just dreams. There are times that I go to places he we used to go just for a quiet moment. When we were 17 he carved our initals into a tree at a beautiful park I find myself there twice a month just for quiet thoughts.
Again please don't judge me I judge myself enough.

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cmemaloy@yahoo.com


I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.

Life! is a coin. You can spend it anyway you wish, but you can only spend it once.

Mine is here too. He was a Freshman in high school when we met, we've been together 12 year, married 8 years.

Love of my life is living in Washington with his wife of now 14 years. I'm sitting next to the man I married 8 years ago and still question why.

Love of my life I met when I was 13 and knew I loved him at 14 everyone knew we would end up together... which we should have.. I was there through it all with him. When I told him I didn't want to get married till I was at least 21 he was ok with that. When I decided to tell him I was ready for this, he tells me he met a girl and yak yak yak later how wonderful. Calls me the day he gets her ring, howand when he was going to propose. At his wedding he hugs me and tells me he will always love me.... see him a year later and ask him the what if question. He tells me that if I would have said ok i'm ready for this, his wife would not have existed. He then tells me that he kept all the cards and letters I have ever sent him, when his wife found them she asked why. He told her that he wouldn't be the man he was for her if it wasn't for me. So here I am... miserable... listening to DH drone on and on about how he knows ceartin things and I don't.

linslady... if I am following your story, when you were ready for marriage (you said, 'I decided to tell him I was ready for this'), he hit you with a bombshell that he met another woman??? Whoa!

I have been the *other woman* for a man who kept his former loves cards/letters... Let me tell you, that wasn't the best situation to be in. It was honestly life-changing for me knowing that this man was in love with someone else! Oh, and then he started having feelings for my best friend who was also my roommate. They ended up married... I lost a best friend and gained a lot of hangups and insecurities from this fellow who was never satisfied... grass was always greener.

It hurt so bad... and that is what made me the woman that I am for my DH (to use your words)! I have never stopped thanking DH for loving me. It was worth dropping the other man and waiting for my DH.

I was engaged to my highschool sweet heart. We were 19 and I just could not handle seeing my father dying a slow death (he died of heart failure). I turned to pot as my escape and started hanging out with the wrong crowd. I was deeply depressed and sucidal but nobody seemed to want to help. He picked up his ring with a friend one day, and I haven't heard from him sense. I know he is a cop in a nearby town and is married with a little boy. I think of him often. I probably went over what I would say to him if I ran into him a dozen times..
I met my dh 5 years ago in the same condition. He has been a rock for me and helped me get my life turned around. He was the one that held me when my dad finally passed away and beofre then made sure I had enough gas in my car to get up to the cleveland clinic for every surgery he had to have.
I think now if I saw my my ex I'd just smile and say nothing to him. I'd like to kick him in the shins though.. lol

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Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like. - Will Rogers

OMG!! I could've written this post. This is exactly how I would describe my life (minus the aspergers). I met my one true love in high school. I can't explain it, but after we broke up... everything just seemed to pale in comparison. Sure, I dated other guys, and eventually married dh. Love was just never as colorful as it was that first time. So I married a wonderful man who's an amazing friend. I think we're well matched, but there is no (and never really has been) any spark. Passion is non existant, and to be honest... the thought of it kind of grosses me out. I know I sound truly unappreciative. I'm not, and I don't think that I'm all that and a bag of chips either. It is what it is.

Fletchersmom, I am sorry that, that happened to you and that you feel as I do. Life happens but I have a question? Do you ever secretly think that you will meet again do you dream about it? I am happy with my life I can deal with it but in my mind there is always that what if? What if... I hate that but sometimes I will sit for a short period and just think about what it would have been like to be married to him. To love someone so much and know that I had him forever. That true love. Again, my DH is not that bad and I do love him I just lust after true love. I only think I want it so bad because I had it.

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cmemaloy@yahoo.com


I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.

Life! is a coin. You can spend it anyway you wish, but you can only spend it once.

I just think we look back at that "one perfect moment" in our lives-probably a time when there were no responsibilities whatsoever-no kids, all income was discretionary, you could come and go as you please and all was really, really good. But, after a couple of kids, when your butt inevitably got bigger, and your stomach a whole lot flabbier, those boobs a bit longer, and let's not mention saddle bags, and family finances got tight-would they still love us as much as we lusted after them? Looking back at my situation, I know in my heart of hearts that it would never have lasted-it's just a great place to go in my mind. DH and I were very fast friends, and as sucky as things seem sometime, can't imagine going through my life without him. but yes, it's always easy to fantasize about the lost boy, or how he might come up any day to sweep me off my feet and carry me away from this very challenging life. But, I'm sure he has issues on his side too.....

I agree with that linny. It's fun to imagine though

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cmemaloy@yahoo.com


I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.

Life! is a coin. You can spend it anyway you wish, but you can only spend it once.

I had a guy I really liked in High School
He Didn't go to my HS but I met him Through a Friend
and we did have fun =)
But I think of a few fun months when everything eas "Right in The World"
no responsibilities
no bills
My mom was alive everything was good
But to Know My Husband has been with me through my worst and me with his and goes to work everyday for Us
I find that very sexy and I love him for that and many other things
Suzanne

Unfortunately, me too. Stuck, stuck, stuck. My first Dh destroyed me. I loved him so much. Current Dh could never hurt me, It just wouldnt happen, its safe, but miserable. I live for my kids. I figure I had my fun. We are both awesome parents, but there is no connection, no closeness like first DH, no passion Its a shame, I have so much love to give, but not to DH, it just isnt there. He has no idea who I really am and how empty that aspect of my life is. I dont think dh can relate, he has never been in a deep passionate relationship. Man I miss that feeling!

So like I tell everyone, My son is the man of my dreams!

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Jill
jatalamo@aol.com
Mom to Joey (8) and Gianna (6)

I do feel sorry for those of you who feel you are with a wonderful person, but not the man of your dreams. I am very fortunate...I dated those wild and crazy guys, dated those that only lied when they opened their mouths, dated a couple my mother loved (she could control them), dated those that I was crazy about but the feeling was not mutual when the lights were on, and by the GRACE OF GOD found my husband. We were married 6 years before we had children, my mother hated him (that was a big plus because she couldn't manipulate him), We both had good jobs, bought a house and went out every weekend and on several vacations. We started having children in our late twenties/early thirties. When the kids were younger and we were constantly running here and there seperately with any one of the three I sometimes thought if I would know this person I had been married to for over thirty years once the kids were grown and on their own. Luckily the answer is yes. We have continued to grow together and not apart. I don't think he has gained a pound or aged a day since we met, and I have done all that and more for both of us. He still LOVES me! I love him also and believe me when we are away on business or vacation we ENJOY the private time we have together!!!(our three adult children live with us maybe because we don't charge rent and we pay their car insurance and cell phones or maybe they still love us too.... and his younger brother lives with us also (43) he had had many rough patches in his life and we took him in when he was homeless and made him follow the same rules the kids had to follow...he has turned his life around and in the process of paying off many debts he accumulated when he was a waste) So ladies if you are not sure about the man you are with just remember if he is good to you sex is in the mind as well as the body. Let you iminagination take the two of you to special, romantic love that will inspire you and rekindle the fire you are desiring. Good luck and may God continue to bless you each and every day!

Fletchersmom- Anyone who lives with Anspergers deserves adoration and praise. You go through more in one day than most of us do in a month! Enjoy your fantasies.

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Lyn Clarke

I found my one true love while I was a senior in High School, he was 4 years older and we worked at the same grocery store. He was so handsome, we started dating right after I graduated and I really was amazed by him, my dad found out we were dating and was irrate, he's hispanic, I'm white. We still dated the rest of the summer, then I went off to college while he stayed behind, he still came to visit me a few times up at college and we had so much fun together, then in college I dated a ton (didn't in HS) and every guy I dated was always compared to this guy. I graduated college, still in contact with this guy, long distance, and moved near my sister, even further away from this guy... Still dating other guys, still comparing them to him... Then found out he was dating some girl, I hated her, and then we saw each other over Thanksgiving, and sorry girl... He's mine... He broke up with her right after that, and we decided to make it work long distance, we got engaged mid January, and I moved to the same city a month and a half later, we married 3 months after that, so we really didn't "date" much, but we're going on 7 years in another month, and I've never been happier, than I have the last 7 years. I'm so happy I ended up with the love of my life. He would have been the "what if." We did talk marriage once, while I was going to college, but I wasn't ready, and after he left, I sat in the dark and cried, because I thought I lost him for good. I'm glad he's a patient man!

I dream about him a lot. Even on the days that I haven't thought about him at all consciously. When I sit and let myself think about it.. I always picture us meeting again when somehow I'm free to pursue it. I have thought about all the what if's. Then, it gets depressing and I have to force myself to just not think about it. The biggest what if though.. is the kids. I love my children dearly, but what would it be like to truly love the father? To see the love of your life in your children..

That sounds Horrible.. please no flames. I feel like this is the one forum for me to open up and be honest with things that I normally would chastise myself for thinking. There's always the chance that I'm not the only one out there who thinks these things, and while I don't want to wallow or start a pity party... it would be nice to get it off my chest and find a way to cope.

Fletchersmom we live the same dream. But we also know reality. Anyone wanting to flame again feel free. This is a place to open up to each other and if you don't like it don't read it. I would never ask you to agree with me because even I don't like it. I am just being honest. This is just the way things happened.

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cmemaloy@yahoo.com


I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.

Life! is a coin. You can spend it anyway you wish, but you can only spend it once.

I am completely in love with my husband, but I was in love once before him and it is so hard you just never get over it. I am 25 and have been with my husband for 10 years (chose him over this other guy) but I fell in love with the other guy when I was 11. I still see him every day (we work across the street from each other and my in-laws bought their house right across the street from his) So everyday I see him, I Love My husband but everytime i see the old love my heart starts pounding and then when he stares at me I could just melt. I know though that we would have never worked out, but you never get over true love!!!

I think about my lst. husband many times. We were both young when we got married. What I know now I wish I knew then. He really is a wonderful terrific person. He is now married with a child. I don't think anyone ever cared so much as he did.

I am married now, but my husband now doesn't do half of what my lst. husband did.