I am going to sound like such a B! I have the next 10 days of my week off work with my mom. Let's put it into perspective for those who don't know. She is has a superiority complex, bi-polar, passive agressive defiance disorder, compulsive liar, and poor thing now has alzheimers. I went to my sister's and brought her home with me so they can vacation for a week and have another week off of watching mom. I am on the computer typing because she wants to argue with me that I don't belong in my house becuase her daughter lives here. She is also on the rant that her parents are still alive. I'm trying hard to calmly explain it to her again and show her athe newspaper of their obituaries. If this continues it will be a l - o - n- g visit! I hope my plans for time with her shopping, out to lunch, the spa, getting her nails done, etc. will keep her occupied and happy. Maybe I'm feeling sorry for myself that she doesn't recognize me as her daughter. I just asked her to get ready to go to bed and I'm waiting for her to have a fit if I say I'm going upstairs to bed in her daughter's room. She tells me she has been to this house many times and has never seen me here. I wonder who she thinks she's spent the last three days with at my sister's. This is so sad......I feel better now having gotten this off my chest! Thank all for listening!

I will be thinking of you
My Grandma was 90 with Alzheimers
I gave her ativan and it worked great to calm her down
she still tried to get out of the house to go home or to work alot but these helped quite a bit
Suzanne
Hope you have a all in all good visit with your mother
Suzanne

i am so sorry i know that has to be hard for you.

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wow, my mouth is on the floor here-I can't imagine how hard this is for you. On that note, have LOTS and LOTS of ativan here-courtesy of Patrick--I'd be happy to ship it to you ASAP....Hang in there, and when you see your sister again-give her a huge hug and thank her. You've only got her for a bit-imagine how hard it must be on her. I can't imagine how hard that must hurt that she doesn't recognize you. BTW, if you don't mind me asking, how old is your mom?

I'm so sorry you're going through this and I feel sorry for you mom too. I admire your sister for taking care of your mom as I'm sure it must not be easy.
Hang in there and try to enjoy any little moment of your MOM that you get. As it is, it doesn't like the person you're taking care of is the woman you know as your mom. Hopefully though you'll have some enjoyment with the spa and shopping, etc.
Hugs!

I will be thinking of you this week. I am glad you and your sister are taking care of her, but it must be so hard. Alzheimer's is just a horrible disease. (((((HUGS))))))

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Mary

THanks so much! Mom is 85, Dad died 10 years ago from cancer. She is on Xanax, lisinopril, lexapro, namenda, seroquel, and potassium. I don't mind here forgetting... I have the most trouble with her calling me a liar when I try to explain things to her that she doesn't want to hear. Remember...her personality has always been that she is always right. When I try to explain to her some bpeople are gone she smirks and says... So you think..I feel sorr for you. It's best to just ignore these things.
You are all correct MY SISTER IS AN ANGEL for doing this daily. We did vow to not put her in a home untiln she was either in such nursing need that we could not do ourselves, or she did not know us at all. She does know me off and on...she said she knew me, but I was not Linda. In the morning she will be different I'm sure. A childhood friend once asked me How I could take care of her because they remember she was not a very nice person to be around. My sister and I answered because it was what should be done. Maybe not what she would have done for anyone, but the right thing to do anyway. My children (who are young adults) need to know we take care of our own. They need to know how to treat elderly people with medical and mental issues as well as their other grandfather that is in very good health both physical and mental. Elderly people are not throw aways...
Thanks again all for allowing me to vent!!

Zanny My sister is in Dexter!

Hang in there and remember that she really can't help what she thinks or says.
My mother lived with us in that condition and I know exactly what you are going thru.
The first night she was here she was so happy to be in her Aunt Grace's house again! (?)
It was mostly down hill from there.
She would wake me up in the middle of the night to tell me that the kids were not home yet.
Of course they weren't, they had homes of their own.
We had to put a lock near the top of the door after she left very early one morning.
Thank goodness the neighbor found her before she had gotten too far.
Thank goodness she was too short to reach the lock.
She'd argue with me every day about having to go home.
Would not believer that 'home' was 300 miles away.
It was sad and frustrating.
I am so lucky to have a caring, understanding husband.
We also had my MIL who also moved the 300 miles from home but was mentally okay and was able to live in an apartment by herself for a little while. DH would take her a plate of dinner every night or pick her up and bring her over for dinner. When whe had to go for Radiation treatments an hour away, I had to hire a sitter for my mom and take MIL for her treatments almost every day for a month.
What a riot I had taking them both to their doctor who was also an hour away. My mom had arthritis and couldn't walk far so I had to lug around a wheel chair too. It seems kinda funny now, but it didn't at the time!!!

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I know how hard this all is on you! I used to care for elderly people in their homes and one thing I learned real quick is that there is no need to correct them if they are wrong. I had one lady who insisted that I was her mother and I told her no I wasn't and she became so upset that she was hard to handle. ANother time a lady insisted that her husband was coming to get her (he had been dead for years), I just told her he was running late. Telling someone with alzhemier's or dementia that their loved one is dead will do one of two things, they will become angry because you are "lying" to them or they will have to endure "losing" them all over again. There is truly no reasoning with them.

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#3 Gone To Race In A Better Place...

Sorry to be late in checking back, but OP, how did your week with Mom turn out? You are still posting so you survived!!

cj/

Thank you for asking. She was wonderful! No negative, nasty comments. Maybe she has moved past this stage. I already have made plans to keep her several weeks in the summer. Shame on me for dreading her arrival, but when I had her from Halloween past Thanksgiving she was VERY difficult to get along with. I am so grateful she was a blessing.

Wow - what a turnaround. Great news! Maybe she isn't as good when the weather is turning dreary in the fall, but does better when it's getting more sunny and bright?

cj/

polalxa, I can really sympathize with you. When my dad passed away my mom came to live with me. My dad really hid how bad my mom was. She lived with me for 2 1/2 years. My DD was 9 months old when mom moved in. They were pretty much on the same level so they got along well! My mom and I were never very close and those 2 1/2 years took a toll on me! The final straw was when I was 8 months pregnant and I walked in my mom's room to find my DD playing with my mom's hidden pills! Turned out she pocketed them in her cheeks and hid them in her room. 2 weeks later she was in a nursing home. She lived there for 5 years and did really well in that environment. The nurses told me that she was always pleasant...until I walked in the door! Towards the end she called me Nancy (her sister) and was always glad to see me!

In the time she spent with me my brother took my mom for 1 week. I still resent hin for that. I imagine your sister is very greatful for your help.

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What does Patrick (son/dh) take ativan for? Just wondering? My dh take it and 2 other pills for seizures.

Tomorrow, April 30th is the 15th anniversary of my dear Mother's death. Treasure every second you have with yours, no matter how trying they may seem. I would do anything to have my Mom back with me. I had to go through breast cancer 9 years ago without her. I miss her every day.