my dd and her husband split up 2 months ago because he was having an affair, they have been married 21 years! she did not know they had any problems, didn't fight or anything! anyway she now has a boyfriend and she invited us over for easter dinner! We love her but think this is way too soon and she is just hurting! we get there and the guy is really nice but he is 25 and she is 38 I just can't see it going anywhere and am afraid she is setting her self up to get hurt again!
thanks for letting me vent! I'm n just really scared for her!

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Always be a first rate version of your self instead of a second rate version of someone else.[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.

Sounds like to me that .......She got married at 17 and really never had much of dating. She was married for 21 years. Right now she needs to feel attractive to someone. If that someone is only 13 years younger than her, I say good for her! I don't think she is looking for marriage material right now. She is looking for someone to have fun with and make her feel alive. But if something does grow into more for them be happy for her. I have at least 3 friends that I know that has more of a difference in age and they have been married for years.

After a breakup most people have the "rebound" person. If that rebounder is younger than us, it makes us feel better usually. I think it's a little soon to have family over with a holiday but everyone is different. Be supportive and there for her and hope for the best. I don't think the age thing really matters...it's the maturity level and she needs some self esteem (especially since an affair was involved)

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

Squeak....I am so sorry for your daughter and your family. Not to hijack your thread but let me offer this from my own personal experience! First, am I your daughter? LOL.....this is my life at this moment.
My dh moved out a few days after Christmas. He told me a few months prior to that, that things weren't going as he wanted them to. We never fussed, we did have a disagreement from time to time. At this point, we were a couple of months short of being married 20 years. Nothing made sense to me, I was blind sided. I begged that he reconsider because we have 2 kids and I hated the thought of them hurting over what seemed to be nothing. But, I began thinking about things over the last year or so and something clicked that made me realize he was cheating. I had already ask him and obviously he lied and said he had no one. I stayed on his trail and a few days before Christmas found him where I knew I would find him. August was the first time he said he thought our marriage was over, after my asking him to think about it, he did and told me again in October that this was IT...it was over. And the first of December, I filed for divorce, knowing without having the proof that he was cheating...a couple of weeks after that I had my proof.
Anyway....I'm 39....married 20 years....now separated and awaiting divorce......I know how your daughter feels!!!! She hasn't been alone in a very long time. She's hurt, she's mad, she's frustrated, she's feeling like it's somehow her fault, she feels that she's no good.....the feelings and emotions go on and on.
The difference with me is, I've sworn off men, LOL. Honestly, I just cannot imagine jumping into a relationship at this point. At the same time, I know she's doing it for her own self esteem. I just hope she doesn't get hurt again.
Please support her as I know you do. Continue to be the shoulder she needs to cry on or lean on. Listen and let her work it out. She may get hurt or she may have fun and let this man go and find someone else. But, mainly....let her be herself for now. In my case, it wasn't a man that helped my self esteem or boosted my pride...it was a few new clothes, the make up I love but had been doing without because I felt guilty for spending the money, a new hair cut.....spend some time with your dd, if possible. Go to the spa, have your nails done, get a pedicure with her...whatever....this may help her realize that she is worth the time and energy that her ex wasn't giving her.
Hang in there squeak. I'll keep you and your daughter in my thoughts.

thanks for the support!
just another add on! my dd has been over weight for years and had a gastric by-pass last year and now wears a size 5! one of the things they tell you is that some spouses can not handle you being good looking! I have to wonder if this is part of it!

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Always be a first rate version of your self instead of a second rate version of someone else.[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.

tag1114... you gave such great advice.

Some people buy new stuff, some people diet, some people find someone else. Whatever your DD is doing it is helping her get over the deep wounds her ex-DH has caused. This is probably just one of many healing phases she needs to go through. Like Tag1114 said.... just be there for her.

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TLJ ~ Where opinions are encouraged, not deleted

You laugh at me because I am different,
I laugh at you because you are all the same.

Your mind is like a parachute, it only works when it is open.

So her life has changed dramatically over the last year, in more ways than one! SHe just needs to find herself again, but just be there to make sure she doesn't get lost.

I have been overweight forever and if my husband left and I was all of the sudden skinny, you BET I would have a 25 year old boyfriend. The food couldn't comfort me any more, but a little eye candy can.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

You know, let her have a good time (As long as there aren't little kids in the home). Will this relationship come to anything...probably not but he may be a fun diversion for a while....plus it will drive her ex-husband crazy!!! Present day divorce rate for first marriages = 52% and second marriages 60something....so what do you think the likelihood of a young boyfriend right after a new divorce will last? Smile.

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Lyn Clarke