Okay, some of you may remember my post about my best friend with the black eye and it has really got me to thinking here lately.

Since I have been married, which has been 12 years, I have never really had friends. I mean like someone that I hang out with, or call on the phone, etc. Until last year anyway and me and my friend become super close until the black eye thing anyway and now we are not friends at all.

So, this has me wondering Am I Normal? ~ I mean not having any friends? So, was wondering how many of you have friends and do you spend time together OR are they 'really' just acquantances? (sp)

I guess, I have in someway been a loner most of my life. Even back in the day, ya know what I mean like high school days, I never really had more than 1 or 2 friends then. Then when I got married and started having kids, I really didn't have time or opportunity to meet people. And Now that I have three kids, going out is NOT in the plans. Hubby & I grab a bite to eat out alone 'occassionally' more like every couple months, but other than that, I don't go out.

So, if you could answer these questions for me.

Do you have friends?

If so, how many?

How often do you spend time together?
What do you do together, just an example if you dont mind.

If you dont have friends, why?
Thanks for helping me with this. I just wanna see if I am normal

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email is moserlara@yahoo.com

Do you have friends? Yes, I do, but we don't do a whole lot outside of work. Most of my friends are fellow teachers. We do, however, talk on the phone and text message each other.

If so, how many? Really good friends--probably 2.

How often do you spend time together? My best friend, Connie, and I do things about once every week or two
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What do you do together, just an example if you dont mind. Sometimes we go shopping, but we mainly do things TOGETHER with our husbands. George and David have become friends, and the four of us enjoy going to car shows, listening music, going to festivals, going out to dinner, etc. Connie spends A LOT of time with her husband, so the four of us have learned to spend time together. When the four of us go out, even if it's just sitting in their hot tub, we usually end up splitting up and Connie and I talk while David and George visit. I used to have a really close friend who occupied all of my time...she was very needy...and it affected my first marriage. I'm not going to let that happen again. Connie, who has been my friend for 10 years, wouldn't let that happen. Oh, we sometimes go out after school to have a drink and just catch-up. We teach different grades so we don't see a lot of each other during the day...sometimes we go to each other's rooms afterschool and just visit.

My other close friend is Laura. She is a lot younger, but we've been having a great time planning our wedding together! It's more of a mother/daughter relationship.

I am a lot like you, however. I enjoy being alone, but it's also nice to have someone, besides David, to talk to some times and run around with.

If you dont have friends, why?

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If you're not living on the edge, you're wasting space.

The people I talk to everyday, about 2, friends I would say about 5 or 6 close ones. I have always been a social person and when I make a friend I usually have them for a long time. There are a lot of friends I don't talk to regularly, but still consider them friends.


I do different thing with different friends, one I go garage saleing with and thrifting, one I mostly have playdates with the kids, one we do Home INteriors and mostly talk on the phone because she works crazy hours and does a lot of volunteer work, another we mostly have dinner parties.

At one point I was thinking i had too many friends, it takes too much time and effort some days. But I enjoy having adults around me since I am a SAHM.

I don't think there is a "normal" for friends, they come in go in our lives and as long as you have someone to talk to that is not a family member, that could be enough.

And you always have US!

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

Do you have friends? I do but not really any close ones that I spend time with.

If so, how many? 3

How often do you spend time together? Not much time at all they are in Fl and I am in Mass so only spend time with them when I go home.

What do you do together, just an example if you dont mind. We usually just got shopping and out to eat.

If you dont have friends, why? Here where I live I don't have any close friends. I prefer to stay home with my family. We do have people who come over for dinner or we get together with once in awhile but no one I would call close. I have always been one of those people who had 1 or 2 close friends and never really needed anymore than that.

Do you have friends? yes

If so, how many? about 8, some I'm closer to than others

How often do you spend time together? My best friend at least once a month. The others whenever we can fit it in. Some only on our kids bdays.
What do you do together, just an example if you dont mind. Go out to eat, shopping.

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I've never lied to you. I've always told you some version the of truth.

Do you have friends? Kind of
How many friends do I have? 3 really close friends.
Do I spend time with them? NO. When I was first diagnosed with MS and not doing well they would only feel sorry for me and look at me different. I am now just phone friends with them this way they can't see physically and how I am doing and they then think that I am fine. I miss seeing them but I think this is best for me. Sympathy will get me nowhere.

We used to go to lunch, movies, shopping or we would take the kids to chuckie cheese, or to a musical just about anything you can think of we would do.

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cmemaloy@yahoo.com


I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.

Life! is a coin. You can spend it anyway you wish, but you can only spend it once.

Is there a "normal" in life? I'm not sure. I feel like you do every once in a while. When I was in Utah I had my neighbor and we had the same down day where we woul go to the movies and have lunch. It was fun. I would go visit, etc.. BUT since moving to Georgia it's a whole new world - folks aren't as social here - there isn't the community I had there... it's weird. I don't get it.
I have friends, but they are internet friends and family. I have family.. I have my mom here, but no one really that I hang out with as in girl friends. There are times this really freaks me out. I guess if it's not a two way street I just stop trying... which is healthy in some ways and not in others. I just don't have time to waste on being the only one to initiate contact. I work full time, have two kids and don't want to go out of my way all of the time to be social... so - Ill be "not normal" with you

I have just a few close friends but I have gotten to be friends somewhat with the people I work with which is nice I dont feel so lonely but I think its more important to have only a few close friends than alot of friends in which none you are close too

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mom of 3 greats girls

I can relate to you I also don't have any friends around me. I have always been a stay at home mother even after Our Daughter left home and is married with kids of her own She's now too busy for her mother LOL ..

I have always been a loner NOT by choose It's very hard to find friends being home all the time.

When i got my Computer yrs ago i had meet two wonderfull ladies and we hit it off so well.

It was so much fun .

We were friends Till last yr when both of them passed away on me I still can't believe they are gone except That I am very lonely now.

We use to talk daily several times matter of fact. It was someone I could turn too anytime of the day if i needed too.

It was something to look forward to each day. AND now that is all GONE for me.

I have been so depressed over loosing MY FRIENDS.
It feels like I lost my Husband or a Family Member.

Its hard to find new ones now.

Do you have friends? not really close ones but more than acquantances

If so, how many? about 3 we see often

How often do you spend time together? once a month or so unless it's bowling league time, then once a week

What do you do together, just an example if you dont mind.play pool, play games, go hot tubbing, parties, bowling (all my friends are men)

If you dont have friends, why? I am a female who has ALWAYS had men friends and hardly any women friends. Women don't like me usually. I am not sure why. I think it's because I am friends with their DH's or SO's (even though I am happily married). It's hard to have close male friends when you are female without starting rumors if you know what I mean. I just don't "get" most females and they don't "get" me.

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

Just deleting information.

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Do you have friends? I have about 3 close friends who are not related to me, but I would adopt them to have them be family.

If so, how many? Oops, just answered, 3 close ones.

How often do you spend time together? 2 of them we usually talk on the phone daily, the other one, we've been friends since our oldest boys were born, they are 5 months apart, and so we don't talk daily, but whenever we do talk, we just pick right back up where we left off.

What do you do together, just an example if you dont mind. All 3 have children, my children's ages, so it's usually to get together for playgroups. Then they can play while we talk.

If you dont have friends, why? I didn't have a lot of girl friends in HS, they can all be so catty, and just mean, my best friends in HS was my cousin so it helped that she was around other wise I would have been such a loner in HS.

Do you have friends? Yes, you could say so

If so, how many? Under 10

How often do you spend time together? Rarely outside of work, once a month game nights or some other gathering
What do you do together, just an example if you dont mind. Game nights, movie nights, at home parties (pampered chef, etc)

If you dont have friends, why? I think I feel a lot like you daltonmomma. Most of my "friends" are work ones, and I always find fault in them. The ones I actually hang out with outside of work (rarely) have no kids, or spouses, and it's difficult for me to be with them because of a situation like what happend at our last game night. Typically it starts at 6, we eat and play games and I am out the door by 9:30 or so..well this time, it started at 8, we didn't even start playing any games until almost 10, when I told my husband I would be home by 9:30! They know I don't stay out late, I have 3 kids who can't wait for mommy to get up on the weekends for some mommy time! They don't respect that, and I get slack for it. As a matter of fact the last game night pretty much resulted in my personal decision that I won't be going again.

My real best friend is my sister, all we do is laugh when we are together! We also look out for each other, she looks out for me more than anyone I know and she is 7 yrs younger than me! Noone understands our relationship but us, and that's what makes it even more special.

I don't really have a desire to hang out with other "friends"..maybe I'm just not meeting the right kind of people, but then again I don't have time to hang out either.

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If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now, quiet! The're about to announce the lottery numbers... - Homer Simpson

I so feel you in this post.. I have one friend that I just made. My best friend since preschool took me on a girls weekend last winter and ditched me for a lover that she had on the side. Her husband found out and she thought It was me. I'm slowly making friends via my kids stuff, but I can understand where the am i normal is coming from

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Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like. - Will Rogers

This is sad......

I guess I have friends.....noone really close though. more acquantaince type things and family.

If so, how many? Half dozen - dozen maybe.....not including friends from YEARS and years ago that I dont see but email or call once in awhile.

How often do you spend time together? Never....really....

I did have this one "friend" a couple years ago who was my neighbor.... in the begining it was nice, she was nice, but after a year or so she started to see what she could get...So technically she wasn't a friend she was using me...she kept hounding me for money...asking for loans, which I refused because I am a single mom with 2 kids, I can't afford to give my money away..... She thought a real friend would help her out and tried to guilt me into giving her money (over $500 loan) again I refused....never heard from her again....I was really NICE about refusing to loan her the money too!! It wasn't rude how I did it... SO anyways, a few month or so later I was talking to this guy at the local grocery store, his wife sort of befriended my ex friend...anyways, they DID loan her about $50 and she ran off never to repay the money and avoids them all the time...So I kinda knew she wasn't planning on paying the money back!!

If you dont have friends, why? I dont have any CLOSE friends probably because I wont put myself out there....meaning, I've been used and abused so many times... I've very untrusting..... I dont trust people, sad I know!! There is other reasons but wont even mention it but it is kinda like what others mentioned...some women being catty and mean...


BUT..... no matter, as long as I have my family I'm happy!! I LOVE to socialize and just chit chatting to strangers are fine with me...I talk to EVERYONE I see all over town...LOL even if I dont know them...

I have one really close friend. We've been friends since the end of our junior year in high school. We didn't even go to the same school though. Another friend introduced us and we would all hang out together. The funny thing is that I didn't even care for her too much way back then because she seemed kind of fake and she was really materialistic.

However, she's changed an awful lot, as I'm sure I have too, and we've been really good friends for a long time now. She's basically the thread that keeps some of us girls together. Once a year, she tries to get us all together for a girls' weekend. Last year, I was pregnant, so instead of a girls' weekend, they threw me a baby shower. The year before that, my good friend was pregnant, so we had a baby shower for her instead of a girls' weekend. This year nobody's pregnant, so we're planning a whole weekend together at the beach. LOL If it wasn't for her though, I don't think any of the rest of us would keep in touch at all. None of us live in the same town anymore and we all just get so busy with our own lives and don't make any effort to keep in touch.

I really wish I had at least one or two close friends that lived close to me. It's so hard for me to make friends though, since I'm shy and I just don't ever meet new people. I just don't have time to do things to try to meet anyone new - between work, DH and DD, they take up all of my time. It's kind of hard to make friends at the grocery store or Target. LOL

I thought that I might get to be friends with my next door neighbor (who seems to be right around my age), but that just hasn’t happened. When she and her husband brought their little girl to our house when she was trick or treating on Halloween, I was holding DD who was 3 months old at the time and got up to go to the door to see her little girl’s costume. I was standing right there holding DD and commenting how cute their little girl was while DH handed out candy to their little girl and they didn’t say a single word about my DD. I thought they could have at least asked how old she was, or asked her name, or even just said something to show a little interest … but, nothing.

I did just find out that the people that live across the street from us are going to be moving soon (these are different people from my next door neighbors)! Yipee! I didn't care for them or their weirdo little girl anyways. And, yes, she really is strange, but I won't get into that. I'm just hoping that whoever buys their house might be someone that has a child around the same age as my DD and that I can become friends with. It might be futile, but at least I can hope.

A really interesting thread!

My husband really is my best friend. It is him I call during the day to chat, go to the mall or movies with. I just don't have time right now for other close friends. We have lots of "friends" as a couple that we'll occasionally go out to dinner with or other families that we'll have over for dinner.

I have one close "girl" friend that I met while I was working 12 years ago. We both quit at the same time when we had our oldest children. We have stayed close and chat on the phone once a week or so and get our families together once a month or so. We are both busy and very comfortable with our friendship that we don't need to be in constant contact. We are able to just kind of pick up where we left off!

I had someone last year, a really sweet lady, who tried to befriend me. I still feel badly about this, but she was SO needy. Calling every night, wanting to get together every couple of days. The way my life is right now with four children and a husband who works full-time and is the head Pastor of a new church, I just couldn't support that kind of friendship. I finally just had to tell her gently, that although I did like her, I just didn't have time for a friendship at this time in my life.

I've never been the type of person to have a ton for friends though. Even as a kid I was close to my family and just loved spending time with them. Now it is my own family, I adore them and can't think of anyone I'd rather spend time with!

Do you have friends? Yes

If so, how many?2 best friends

How often do you spend time together?I see one of them about once a week the other I haven't seen in about 2 years

What do you do together, just an example if you dont mind.mostly talk on the phone. When we hang out it depends on wh it is. One we go to eachothers house, grocery shopping together, church, food, ect... The other lives in Alaska so we do not see eachother much (she is my sister). We talk on the phone almost everyday. When she is out we drink a little, go to the beach and usually Six fFags or Knotts Berry Farm.

If you dont have friends, why?

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TLJ ~ Where opinions are encouraged, not deleted

You laugh at me because I am different,
I laugh at you because you are all the same.

Your mind is like a parachute, it only works when it is open.

When I was in HS I had more guy friends than girls.. I did have 3 best friends but we lost touch rather quickly after I got married. Dh didn't like me hanging out with them ...There were on the wild side..Everytime I would go off with them I would get hit on by other guys. that really didn't set too well with dh.

Since I have always been a SAHM my friends consit of Dh co-workers & their wives ,neighbors, or my childrens friend mom. Since Dh retired from the AF I really don't have any friends where we live at now... My neighbors are just my neighbors. I think in the miltary community it always easier to become friends with your neighbors because everyone is in the same boat. away from their family & friends. same goes for work.

I'm sure If I would invole myself into activities outside the home I would make friends but really there is really not much to do here. This town is kinda backwards...They have no Bingo places something I would love to go out and do.

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Angels may not come when you call them, but they'll always be there when you need them.

I am 37 and have two best friends. One I have known since I was 16. We have so much in common and can finish each other's sentences. We laugh so hard when we are together, but can also be serious when the need is there. We see each other a couple of times a month, and talk on the phone quite often, along w/ emails-and go on mini vacations a couple of times a year. Our oldest boys are best friends too-since they were born! We did have another best friend that we hung out w/ since we were 16, but we have kind of grown apart from her. My other best friend and I have known each other since we were 12-although I have a sister, I call HER the sister I always wanted-we don't go out and have as much fun as the first but we do meet for coffee quite often and chat on the phone-and our youngest kids go to the same preschool, so we see each other at drop off and pick up times. Another friend of mine, since I was 13-we lost touch several years ago and just reconnected recently. She lives in another state, so ours is mostly emails. I have one other friend for 10yrs. who is right up there too-we do dinner and coffee, or just pop into each other's houses-our boys are also friends. I still have several more to go, but won't bore you w/ the details-mostly friends of long term. I did have to "let go" of a friend a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, I was her only friend it seemed and she has a lot of issues, and I just couldn't handle her stress along w/ mine anymore. I felt horrible for doing it, was going to wait until her husband got back from Iraq, but the whole thing was really eating me up and starting to get weird. I hope she is doing ok, but I just couldn't be there for her anymore-kwim? That was one weird phone call....

well, knotts berry farm sounds fun, but am questioning the other place-is that a gay bar? lol...

I consider my co-workers friends because we all eat lunch together and play card games on lunch but I only have 2 close friends. One's a lady I work with and maybe once a month we'll go shopping or something and I usually talk to her on the phone maybe 3 timesa week. The other one is a guy I work with and he is my absolute best friend. It's kind of like a brother/sister relationship. I can talk to him about anything and ocassionally my DH and I will go out to a movie or something with him. He brings his kids to all my DD's parties since they are close in age and during the summer he'll come up for a cookout with us.

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"Let me watch my children grow to see what they become
Lord don't let that cold wind blow til I'm too old to die young'

crack me up!

MY DH is my best friend. We do everything together. We get along better with each year that goes by.
We have been married since 1972. We each have 1 friend, but their friendships seem to ebb and flow with us. We also have 3 old friends jointly, but due to distance, we don't see them much. We both have friends at our workplaces, but never socialize with them out of the work place. We would rather be "just the 2 of us"

I have quite a few friends, we talk or im every day for the most part..I have one friend who I have never laid eyes on in Jersey who I met online about 12 years ago, we both have disabled children and we have a lot in common, in all these years we have never talked on the phone but twice..lol..but we im/e-mail everyday, went thru prgnacy together online etc. We send each other care packages and support each other, so it has worked out wonderfully..i do cringe a little when I see people post that DH and I are the *only* ones..because to me that is just not healthy..man has always been a social animal, we have had feasts, dancing and other activites thru the years or time, it seems here lately though we are all turning into hermits. Me...I like to get together with other people and celebrate and party and talk and laugh..I have been blessed in the fact that even if i don't know anyone I can always get a conversation going and have a good time...

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"Cast upon this globe without physical strength or innate ideas, incapable in himself of obeying fundamental laws of this nature which call him to the supreme place in the universe, it is only in the heart of society that man can attain the pre-eminent position which is his natural destiny. Without the aide of civilization he would be one of the feeblest and least intelligent of animals.."
Jean-Marc-Gaspard Itard

When she is out we drink a little, go to the beach and usually Six fFags or Knotts Berry Farm. (Quote)


Ok..I was eating and I about got choked...You guys crack me up

Christine

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TLJ ~ Women United in Spirit

Do you have friends? Nope

If so, how many?

How often do you spend time together?
What do you do together, just an example if you dont mind.

If you dont have friends, why? I had some friends before I got married, 3 close friends. After the wedding they all just got really weird. I don't know if they don't like my husband or if they just feel out of place around us or what. And now that I've moved 800 miles away from them, I rarely hear from them. And, I'm on disability, so I really don't go anywhere to make friends. Besides I'm shy.

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I'm in a constant search for the next great freebie or deal.

I am more of a guys girl than a girls girl. I do have a couple of best girlfriends and several women I talk to on a daily basis. I don't think your weird or anything like that, when I was in your situation it was because I thought I didn't have time to be friends with someone. That was b/c I was talking to the wrong women, you know the kind, the kind where you have to be in shape just to listen to! LOL, it sounds like you need a good friend, take the time to put yourself out there a little bit, trust me I never thought I'd have more than 1 or 2 women in my life! And now I have several, I really think it is going to be finding the right one!!

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Vicki


TLJ Women united in Spirit!

I am so glad you started this thread! I have had trouble making friends. It seems like nobody ever had time for a friend or they already had enough friends and didn't have time for one more. I always thought I was not normal. I felt like I was the only one who didn't have friends.

However a few months ago I started making more of an effort to find some friends. I went to lunch with a few women I met at church, but now we just say hi at church. I did find one friend. We go out to eat Mexican food (we both love it!) and we see each other at church. We do talk on the phone quite a bit. I go to her house every now and then and we talk.,. She has been the only one (of all the people I met and thought might be my friends) that has kept in touch with me while I have been sick. Very few others even bothered to call.

We also have friends (a married couple) where we used to live (about 4 hours away). We go see them maybe 2-4 times a year. We talk on occasion also, but not too often. The guys play golf and the girls go shopping. Then we meet back and go to lunch or dinner. We also usually go camping every summer with them for a day or two.

I also have a sister that I am pretty close to. We talk about twice a month, sometimes more...

I would like to find another friend or two. I guess it just takes time and meeting the right person. I'm glad to see that I am now so abnormal afterall.

I am glad that I started this thread too! I was thinking I was some kind of weirdo or something.

My best friend and has been my best friend BEFORE we even went out and it is my husband. My mama is my other best friend and I am extremely close to my grandma. Other than that, I have no friends except for feeling like all of you are my friends. I have no friends that I go out with, which I wouldn't go anyway, because that's not me. I love my family and I love being home. I guess the recent loss of my one and only friend shook me up more than I thought and made me start thinking. I mean, hubby's friends have had wives/girlfriends that we hung out with momentarily, but their relationships didn't sustain or either our personalities clashed. His friends' wives are usually young and immature and I am not. Plus, I guess some of the things that you all have said here really does apply to me. I hadn't given it alot of thought, but since I am at home it does make it more difficult to make friends, huh? But, as long as I have my family and yall, then I am good to go.

I hope others will continue to post, as I am finding it rather interesting to see everyones perspective on this.

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email is moserlara@yahoo.com

When my kids were little I lived in a neighborhood in saugus, mass. We were all young couples and had the same age kids. we all hung around together. we went out on weekends to eat with some of them. we had a birthday club for the woman All our kids played together . i was a sahm so my door was always open. sometimes it got over welming. sometimes i would put a sigh on the back door-coffee shop closed. I moved to salem n.h. when my kids were in elememtry school and everyone except for a couple moved right after me. we are still freind but only get together a couple of times a year. noe im older and my kids arent kids anymore i wish i had the freinds. i would say my sil is my best freind right now. we go shopping and out to lunch at least once a week.

I am learning a lot from this thread...or we are a different demographic than I thought the "average" person was. I have always thought that people had lots of friends. I have always had less than "lots", but perhaps that is because my idea of a "friend" is different than others. I have a good number of "acquaintances", through work and neighbors, with whom I share conversations fairly regularly and occassionally go out to lunch with...or even have bunco with once a month. But those I consider a "friend" number less.....I would say that I have probably 6 or 8 "friends." These are people I trust with my heart...people I trust without exception....people I would drive 500 miles for in the middle of the night if they needed me--and whom I know would do the same for me. All of these people I would consider part of my family, and their spouses/SOs/and/or children my family also. Some of these people have been friends for over 30 years (since high school) and the "newest", who is now like a soul-sister to me, has been my friend for over 8 years now...and I know all of these people will be with me to my last breath. Some of these people live over 100 miles from me (from where I lived 8 years ago), and those I knew before the last 8 years, "followed" me with their friendship for the 4 years I moved from California to Michigan...and back when I returned (thank God!) to California. I am hoping that I am teaching my children how they should cherish and nourish those who are important to them and those who honor them in return. Some of my friends I only see once a year (those living farthest away) some once a month and some once a week. Some I speak with on the phone every day, some every week, some every couple of months. BUT, my friendship with these women I have been blessed with as family/friend know that my lack of physical presence in their lives due to distance or circumstances does not diminish their value to me. I feel blessed by each and every one of them and hope they feel the same as I reciprocally.

All this to say that, due to, perhaps unrealistic, depictions of large groups of friends in movies and tv shows, I have always thought that I might be the odd duck with so "few" friends. However, the number never made me feel deprived, because my friends are awewome!

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"Well-Behaved Women SELDOM make history."Laurel Thatcher Ulrich


"Yesterday is but a vision, and tomorrow is only a dream. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a dream of hope." Anonymous

"Your candle does not lose it's light by lighting another candle" Generosity

Have the courage to be yourself.

Do you have friends? I would say if asked if I have friends but I guess they are more of situational friends. I have friends from school and had friends from work but they dont really cross the line into being friends during my off time.

If so, how many?I would say that I have one actual friend.

How often do you spend time together?We get together about once every 2 weeks or so.
What do you do together, just an example if you dont mind.We cookout together or we are often invited to their extended family functions, we go to the petting zoo, or get lunch.

If you dont have friends, why?I really think that the main reason I dont have many friends is first that we moved often. As a Navy family it felt like we were always moving. I think that we leaved to rely on just the four of us and when we didnt have to do that anymore, we didnt know any other way. We are a very close family and spend just about all of our time together.

I dont really miss not having a ton of friends, I feel like I am on the phone all the time as it is and I like not having to spare too much of our time as a family to running around and such with other people. Hubby works odd hours so that puts a limit on our time too.


Darlene

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Sell crazy some place else, we are all stocked up here.