Recently I was talkiing with my neighbor and we got on the subject of money. She said anything she does (babysitting, yardsaling, selling of household items) is 'her' money... I asked what was 'his' money and she said nothing. He hands her his paycheck, she pays bills and he gets nothing specific in return. It got me to thinking. Does everyone do this? My sil works 2 pt jobs and on one she keeps the money.. but yet her husbands pt job has to go to 'household' stuff.. makes no sense to me.
so do others of you do this.. 'his' money, 'my' money, 'our' money?

Replying to my own thread..

We each get a certain amount each week to live off of (that is if we want to go out with friends etc) or whatnot.. but other than that everything is 'our' money. Even when I was strictly a SAHM he always said when 'we' get paid.. made me feel that I was contributing to the fund. Now that I am making some $$ there is a even more so of a 'we' feeling. We even split tips (whenever we get them)...

We dont have seperate money. I am currently working very part time and I deposit my check directly in savings and he deposits his in checking for the bills. We have talked about it and both agree that we could not live in a marriage where everything is divided and certain bills are paided only by one person.
It just wouldnt work for us.

Darlene

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Sell crazy some place else, we are all stocked up here.

Well he makes the money, I pay the bills, but whatever is left is OURS, there his no mine, or his. He never really wants anything and is always telling me why don't I go buy me a pair of shoes or get my hair done or something like that, which alot of the time I won't do it because the kids might need something worse then I do or maybe he will need something


I figure he goes out to work every day and the kids go to school and I just stay at home so they "need" more because they are out in public more. But sometimes I feel like I want a day to go get my hair done and do something for me, so I can feel girly lol. I am allowed. My husband would never begrudge me of anything so I am lucky like that. See he doesn't always drive me crazy. lol

I am a SAHM. It is our money. We have 1 checking account. He earns it, I pay all the bills. All the savings/investments are automatically pulled out, we use whatever we want. We've been together 21 years, both frugal & responsible and don't need his/hers.

Lisa

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"It's not having what you want,
It's wanting what you've got"

We both put whatever we make into our joint account and consider it "our" money even though he is the main contributor right now, he has a full time job while i got to school and make a little extra babysitting weekdays. Even though it's not much I feel alot better making even a small contribution. Once i finish my degree we both agree that we'll switch roles- he'll have a chance to return to school while i do the earning if thats what he wants to do. There is no distinction between his money and my money.

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"Life is short. Break the rules. Forgive quickly. Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that made you smile. Life may not be the party we hoped for but while we're here we should dance."

Peace.

We've been together almost 5 years. I do have my own account and I babysit and that is my money, but by my money that means if we go out to eat, I put gas in my car. If the kids and I decide were going to a movie (I'm a sahm)
He has a full time job that pays the bill and a part time job for extras for his gas and such, so in a sense yes I guess we do have his/her money. Until my credit gets better I don't want my name on any of his accts. It will us worse in the long run..

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Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like. - Will Rogers

We have both our checks into our joint account as well. We each get a set amount of spending money each week, for coffee, bagels, lunch or cigs or whatever comes up. I do give myself a bit more as I am the one running for milk, and giving the kids there spending money when they go out.

But we both know that if we want something "reasonable" we just go do a debit, but of course discuss any large purchases. I pay the bills out of the joint, but for a bit, I did the envelope system that my DH didn't know about. I paid the envelope a certain amount every week. Boy was he surprised when I managed to pay for 2 rooms of furniture in "cash" which I had stowed away. It was a nice feeling.

Occassionally at work, we get a "cash" job and whoever is there at the time will pocket the cash. Sometimes we split it, sometimes not. But it works out even in the end, and I know neither of us would begrudge the other something that the other wanted.

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Eileen

**Some people are like Slinky's, not really good for anything, but you can't help laugh when you see one tumble down the stairs**

We dont really have his or her money either my dh gives me so much out of his check a week & I pay all the bills I also work pt & what I make goes towards bills if need be if not I may spend some having fun with the kids like a few weeks ago we went to a indoor water park it was $20 to get in & $20 to eat lunch & probably $10 in gas cause its about a half hour from here. We only went because we had the extra to do it & dh knows if he wants something he can buy it within reason of course.

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mom of 3 greats girls

We don't have his or her money - it's all OUR money.

Ditto.

Holly

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Forgiveness is love in its most noble form. -Anonymous

We also have OUR money. If we want to purchase something big we just ask first.

Its neither mine nor his,it's "theirs".There is no money left over after bills,and food and household essentials are bought.

We married later in life (40 and 48) so most of our accounts are separate. We have a joint household account that we pay the household bills from. The rest of our bills - his credit cards, my credit cards, his car, etc. are paid by each of us individually. He has his retirement investment account that he controls and I have my investments/savings that I control. We both have our own businesses with our own business accounts. We might each spend about $300 on a purchase, at will, but we have usually discussed it ahead of time. Sounds complicated, but it's not - because our attitude is that it is all OUR money. We have the same financial goals and sensibility regarding money.

The money DH makes is our money. He is the main breadwinner. I run an online business and that money is "my" money only because 99% of the time it goes right back into the business so there isn't really profit to speak of. Plus, I need to keep business and personal stuff separate. It's not his business, it's mine and I don't want "our" money to have to pay for the business. I pay the bills, etc with our money but DH can pull out money for whatever he wants whenever he wants from our savings account (which is at his work so it's a stroll away...)

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

We have 1 checking account and 1 savings account and both of our paychecks get direct deposited into those accounts. I pay all of the bills directly out of that account. We both have debit cards linked to that account that we use to buy gas and other things that we may need. All of the money that we make is "our" money. If either of us has anything that we need or want, we discuss it together to see if we can afford it that week.

What's mine is mine....and what's his is mine.....LOL

No, just kidding we have everything together. But....shhh....I have a cash stash hidden away for emergencies.

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I'm a SAHM and it's all "our" money. Any money that comes into the house is ours. It doesn't matter if he makes it, I make it (yard sale, baby sitting whatever) or if it's the money my parents give us every year.

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My DH is the only one who works. But when he gets paid he gives ma all but 30.00 a paycheck. That's his for 2 weeks. He gets paid twice a month.I pay the bills and use the rest as I see fit. It works out well for us. When I do things to make money (babysit, cafeteria) he tells me to spend that on myself.

Jen

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Mom to Jake, Zach & Meghan
SJCC STREAKS FOOTBALL!!
CLEVELAND BROWNS FOOTBALL!

Ours here too. I do Ebay on the side and that pretty much is our extra money, Walmart, out for dinner, groceries and gas. His check gets direct deposited and it only goes for bills.

We talk about anything big we are going to buy, but generally I pay the bills and give him a run down on the money situation from time to time.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

We married later, as well, so all of ours is separate, as well. He pays for his truck and the house payment. I pay the rest of the bills (I have a company car, so I don't have a car payment, gas and insurance for my car are paid, as well). We just kind of switch off when we go out to eat. We both know who has what when, plus we're both contributing to our 401ks and trying to work toward retirement. If one of us has something big come up (roof work done on the house and he pays for it, etc.), I may deposit money in his account. We recently had the kitchen and bathrooms tiled and we split the cost there. It sounds strange to some, but it works for us for now. We are talking about combining it just because I think it may make us a little more accountable and may help with retirement savings. I don't know if either one of us is willing to give up the freedom of our own money, though.

We both work full time. All payroll is direct deposited. I control the checkbook, since there’s only one. We do not have/use debit or check cashing cards. He has AMX, I have Visa and MC. He gets $75 cash each Friday to do with what he pleases, including taking me out to eat or to the movies or not. With our stockpile, I am fine to stay home and don’t care if we go out or not. If he cannot get by with $75 and an AMX card, I am stunned. He cannot leave work for lunch. He brings lunch every day to work. I bring lunch every day also.

We’ve always had just one checking account, so the funds are ours. But bills are paid first and that’s just the way it is.

I am a stay at home mom and I control ALL the finances (we'd be in bad shape if I let him do it). He gets a small allowance every payday. I make about $100 a month cleaning house for my mom and that is the only money I have to myself. We don't spend a whole lot because the majority of his paycheck goes just to bills, the rest goes to pay off his student loan and fix the house.

He is the one that makes it, but since I have full control, he looks at the money as mine. Kinda weird. I got a chuckle this weekend: He was going to buy something with his own money and I said "just put it on the debit card", he was so excited and said "Thanks honey" and added jokingly "if I knew you were buying I'd have got something else too!"

We have Our money. I was the one working fulltime when we got married b/c I was putting DH through school not an issue for either of us. I have been a SAHM for ten years and its still Ours. I am going back to school now and will be a Doctor when I'm finished guess what, it'll still be ours! I guess I just always though that if you love your DH or SO then it doesn't matter what "belongs" to whom. B/c the other person is always more important than that.

I do believe there are exceptions to every rule, like if the women can't control her spending habits and its ruining the family financially or if DH is a gambler or something. I get that the other might need to take control over it. I just don't understand though in a normal relationship why it would be seperate. Don't you agree to become one when you get married?? That means everything. Money, Kids and all the other stuff.

Please don't flame me but, in my very small part of the world the women or men who need to have everything seperate (and my SIL is one of these women) don't ever seem to be very trusting and have some control issues.....Again please don't flame me, that is just what I've seen here in my very small world and I know that there are exceptions to every rule.

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Vicki


TLJ Women united in Spirit!

Both. ~Lisa

its ours. it all goes into a checking and savings account. when either of us need money, we go get it out.
no way would I have it any other way.

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David and I have lived together for two years and are getting married in June. We plan on keeping our finances just the way they are now. I have a personal account and my checks are deposited into that account. He has his own account as well. We both put a certain amount each month into another account which is our joint account. Household expenses, gasoline, and food come out of the joint account. This works well for us even though it may not be for everyone. I was married for 23 years to a man who kept our checkbook, and I never knew what was going on...I was an ostrich with my head buried in the sand. I put my salary, extra money I made, and whatever else I had into that account. He gambled with it, and eventually put us totally under. I'm not going to let that happen again.

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If you're not living on the edge, you're wasting space.

This is a sore subject for me. I have tried for years to get my hubby to put the money as ours, but after 13 years, I guess that's not gonna happen.'

He pays mortgage. I pay for EVERYTHING else, electric, phone, internet, etc. INCLUDING anything the kids have to have or need. It sucks big time!

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email is moserlara@yahoo.com