Just curious if those with kids have a will set up, and if that will specifies who gets custody of your children should something happen to you and your spouse.

We are currently changing parts of our will, including this.

Holly

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Forgiveness is love in its most noble form. -Anonymous

its such a scary thing to think about after Tim was killed i had a will made up
my son would go to my sisters but now that a few years has gone by i need to change it
i think he would be better off with one of his older brothers. my older sons are almost 21 and
24 yrs old both are very mature and live in the same area as i do. my sister lives way to many states away and i would want my son who is just 9 yrs old to stay here in oklahoma.
thanks for reminding me i need to do that.

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Tim
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My sister in MN

My kids are 1 and 2. We do have a will that has been signed, noterized and is in our safe at home. Various family members know about it and know where it is kept. My older sister and her husband would end up with our children. They only live 15 miles from us. My sister is very good with our children. This is something that I promised myself I would have taken care of before my daughter was one. I have a cousin who both of her parents died by the time she was 4 and her sister was 2. Thankfully they had a will and had made some arrangements for the children because even with the will there was a lot of family fighting with some of the relatives trying to take the children. The mother was one of 12 children.

My parents get my kids, if they're gone, then DH mom...that's as far as we have gotten so far...we don't really trust my brother and sisters..they'd only do it for the money...I just pray that I never have to worry about it!

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Jenn
"We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give."
Winston Churchill

Yes, we have a will and my DH brother & wife will get them. They live the closest to both families so that the kids would still be close.

However, their oldest just went to college and their youngest is 16, so I wonder if we should re-evaluate that. My kids are 13 & 10 and they are probably starting to get a taste of the empty nest. Hmmm...something to discuss.

Lisa

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"It's not having what you want,
It's wanting what you've got"

YES YES YES and everyone should do this – our middle 2 children were actually my cousin’s. His wife was hit by a car, and they notified my cousin she probably wasn’t going to make it, he was speeding to get to her bedside, hit by a truck that swerved into his lane - he and their oldest son were killed instantly. The little ones were at my Grandparent’s home. This all happened in France and they lived in Greece so without their very thorough preparations - will, video will and having told the family, etc. (never once dreaming it would be necessary) it could have been a huge mess and been even harder on the boys.

As it was, it just involved a ton of paper work and several trips over (and that fact that all the confusion/time differences etc resulted in Princess Oops. LOL) The odds of everything happening the way it did that day, must be in the gazillions, but they do happen, even when you’re young and think you have the whole world by the tail.

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"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live."
-Oscar Wilde

It took us some time to get our will drawn up (why we waited is beyond me) but our girls would go to my sister and bil, they have 80+ acres in Georgia and I know the girls would be well taken care of. And we get their kids if something happens to them.

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Friends are like butt cheeks.
Crap might separate them,
But they always come back together.

We have it set up that my sister will take care of our daughter if anything should happen. We do however, have a non-family member be the guardian of her financial affairs since he can be impartial and do things in her best interest and according to what our plans are for her.

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"Why must you speak, when you have nothing to say." Horatio Hornblower

My brother gets them. He is like 10 minutes away from us. He is single but the best choice. DH's sister never wants kids and I although our parents would both love to have them, I don't want grandparents raising the kids. They are in their 60's now and I don't like to think about my dad at 77 with teenagers (if something were to happen to us in the near future).

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

I'm divorced, So if something happened to me, my ex would get the kids...IF something happened to both of us at the same time.... His new wife would be wondering what we were doing together!!!

I never had a plan for if he was gone too....since he's around....If he wasn't I guess my parents would in a heart beat.....My brothers wouldn't even be an option...If my parents couldn't then ??????? I dont know!!

Such a scary thought, but one that defidently needs to be adressed when you have children as something can happen anytime. My kids would go to my parents, and if something was to happen to them, then my dh's father and step mother would get them.

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SAHM of Bailey 12, Tyler 10 , Emily Ann 6, and Ryan Matthew 4 yrs old.

That's what we have. My Sis gets the kids w/ visiting rights to DH's family. The money will be taken care of by DH's best friend who we trust.

As of this moment we don't have a will. However, I do have the papers sitting here to fill out and then we need to make another appointment. This is the exact thing that is holding us up. I honestly do not know what to do.

Dh's family is totally out of the question. My parents and my sister are the only other options. Of which I have concerns with both. I don't approve of the way I was raised and my mom hasn't changed at all. I wouldn't trust her with my kids more than a couple of days at a time. My sis well she is a single mom (with a worthless live in boyfriend) with 3 kids. So I hate to add more to her hectic life. Our oldest will be 18 in a couple of years and I will change it at that time that DS2 would go to him. I just really don't know what to do in the mean time.

I hadn't thought of having someone else take care of the financial part, that's something to consider too. As DH has a life insurance policy if anything were to happen to him.

Laura

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Great topic! I really want to know from those of you that have all this set up. How do you go about asking if someone will take your kids? And what if they are willing to only take one of your kids? Afterall, this is a HUGE request to ask. And, do you have a provision in your will that states that if something were to happen to you and spouse, the family taking your kids should inherit all your money to have the financial backing to raise your kids?

My dh and I have not done this, but really need to sit down to discuss the matter. We also have a special needs child who is autistic. I don't believe anyone would want to take on that hardship. He's a great kid, but is more challenging than your average child.

Those of you that have been asked of this by family or friends, how have you responded?

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I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

My best friend would get my daughters if something should happen to both DH and I and my brother would be guardian over their financial affairs. Funny this topic came up since I'm going to the lawyer tomorrow to have the papers drawn up.

Kathy

My husband and I have had a will since we got married about ten years ago!! It is so important. Our best friends (who happened to be married to each other) will get our children. They are raising their children exactly how we are raising ours and we will get their children. Each of us (all four adults) have eactly the same type and amount of life insurance. They are planning on having a third child and we have the insurance agent dropping off quotes next week to adjust for the new baby.

We have made sure they either one of the couples will be able to add onto their home they have now. It includes for weddings, college, first cars and medical bills. Basically it will be adding family to family and not a bunch of bills.

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Vicki


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my sil will get the boys

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Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like. - Will Rogers

My parents will take my DD because my inlaws have to many financial situations and my brother is married to someone who doesn't want kids so the only choice I have is my parents.

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"Let me watch my children grow to see what they become
Lord don't let that cold wind blow til I'm too old to die young'

Since I have no family the case managers will step in and help to figure it out..well I have *family* but the only thing thwy would be interested in is the monthly check...if possible the girls watching them now will take them and switch back and forth, their waiver follows them so they will have in home help also..if not the neouro is to see that Michael goes to a childrens nursing home for life..he is involved and has worked at some of the best in va....possible daniel could go into foster care..unknown..there is no possible way that I can do much other then what we have. These are not normal kids, Jny and my brother would most likely step in to make sure the right choices was made, but neither of them could take them over..
so it pretty much sucks air on my end of this...

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"Cast upon this globe without physical strength or innate ideas, incapable in himself of obeying fundamental laws of this nature which call him to the supreme place in the universe, it is only in the heart of society that man can attain the pre-eminent position which is his natural destiny. Without the aide of civilization he would be one of the feeblest and least intelligent of animals.."
Jean-Marc-Gaspard Itard

This topic is weighing heavy on my mind. ALL of our family live in different states, and they have children of their own and busy, hectic lives. I don't see any of them stepping up to the plate. My parents are deceased, and my in-laws are getting up there in age, and live in another state. I would never burden them with such a request anyway, and I know they would decline. Does anyone else have similar circumstances and feel that there is no one to even ask such a request?

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I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

Well, we are in a similar position. I used to have my kids going to my older sister, but now she is re-married with a new baby, plus I don't like her new husband, and I wouldn't want him raising my kids.

The next best thing is for the kids to go to Scott's brother and his wife. But they have 3 teenagers, AND they live up north. IF something were to happen to Scott and I together, that would be tragic enough for the kids, but then to be drug away from all their friends and the places they know? I'm not sure.

My parents live down in Florida, and are getting up in age. I wouldn't trust my dog to my youngest sister, let alone my kids. My daughter has some special needs, and I'm not sure anyone could handle her. We don't know what to do.

Holly

PS-- Just another thought--- those who set up their kids to go to someone, do you have someone who would take your pets too?

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Forgiveness is love in its most noble form. -Anonymous

Yes we consider our pets as part of the package. We have three girls and three dogs/ They have two girls soon to have a baby on the way and three dogs two Lion fish one frog and two hamsters!! Everyone and every critter is family!!

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Vicki


TLJ Women united in Spirit!