My daughter is in 5th grade and has been bullied by one student along with her followers off and on all year. The bully tells the other girls they can't be my daughter's friend. They tease her untill she gets upset. I went to the teacher and counselor after she had pushed my daughter down in gym one day. Their solution was for them to stay away from each other.But it didnt end there. She continued to tease my daughter and I continued to tell my daughter to ignore her.Things got worse. The girl started telling others at school about porn websites. At a school carnival another mother approached her about this. The mother believed anything her daughter said. I told the girl in front of the mother that I didnt appreciate her being mean to my daughter all year, I didn't expect them to be friends but all I asked was to leave her alone till the end of the year. This was not a lot to ask . Yesterday they had a substitute . After getting back from lunch the bully went directly to my daughters desk pulled out a headband and accused my daughter of stealing it. There were two other girls that chimed in and called my daughter a thief and said she should be ashamed of herself.My daughter told her she had no idea how it got there but obviously they were setting her up.I had to pick her up ealy for an appoint. and found all this out. I called another parent and later found out ( her daughter is in the same class) that my daughters books were removed from her desk by two ther boys, they stomped on them and said they were infected. I asked if they were put back and found out , they were put in an empty desk.I also found out that earlier that day a boy put a tissue on her head and another boy said he had just blown his nose in it.
My husband went to the school and was told they would handle it in the morning.I will let you all know how this turns out. We cannot afford private school or I would send her there.

I really feel bad for your daughter. I was bullied in school by a girl that just wouldnt let up. My mom had talked to the Principle and teachers about it but they basically didnt do anything. The sad thing is my own daughter had been going through the same thing not long ago. Well my mom called the school and they said "we will take care of it". They never did... so we called the girls mom and had a nice long talk with her. To this day that girl leaves my daughter alone.

Seriously, I think the schools dont want to be bothered and the best approach is to the parent. They need to know what is going on and get their child under control.
Schools need to have a no tolerance for bullying. Usually when someone starts picking on a child others see how they got away with it and it starts a string of bullying abuse. The bullys see the child as an easy target.
I hope things get resolved for your daughter because this can lead to stress and other issues..

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Paula
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How horrible!!! I remember going through this in highschool.What a nightmare!And soon she had the whole school bullying me and it seemed like the way to get popular was by bullying me and soon EVERYONE was doing it.Oh the He!! I went through.Teachers will not do anything either as they are afraid of what the bullies will do to them as well.One bully even went to the principal and told the principal that I was doing to her the the things that "she" was doing to me.And the principal called me into the office and I got paddled for it and I was the one that was being bullied.OMG,It was a nightmare my entire highschool years.Thought I had a chance to escape when the Career Center was built and you had the option of going to there for 11th and 12th grade.I thought I would finally be able to breathe and escape the madness,but guess what.When I got off the bus on my first day of school at the Career Center ,guess what was waiting for me by the entrance of the Career Center school.The leader of the pack!
I would ask your daughter if she wants to be homeschooled or let her go to another school.It might really get bad,and noone should have to put up with that kind of torment.

Well from a teachers perspective....

I don't think it is schools do not want to be bothered, it is there isn't a way to make every parent happy. I have students who bully, but it is in a special area class, or lunch (when I am not there basically) I can not punish students when I do not see the crime.

We had a speaker at my school come and talk w/ the kids and they suggested:

-Having the child tell the bully no, and to stop talking to them like that in a forceful voice w/ their hands in a stop motion.
-Smile at the bully like it doesn't bother them.
-Not to put themselves in situations that involve the bully if at all possible.

There were other things as well. Most of the time, the bully continues because they get a reaction from the child they are bullying. If they ignore the bully, they should be left alone.

I can post their website if anyone would like it

JM2C...

I can tell you NONE of those things will work,especially ignoring them,that just seems to enrage them more to find some other way that they WILL get a response from and that can really lead to some violence and crude acts.There is no escape,unless you can get out of the school.One bully isn't so bad,but one bully can lead to more and more bullies and her daughter could be stuck in a living He!!

Calling the parent may help,IF your lucky,but chances are if the bully has followers she will just have someone else do the bullying for her .

Bullies usually are the offspring of bullies. Not 100% of the time but often, there is something going on at home that makes these kids act this way... Sad. I was bullied a lot in school but coped by always remembering that my life was so much better then theirs and eventually, they really did start leaving me alone when they knew that it wouldn't get a response. It really did work! but I'm sure that there are just some pathological bullies out there that would be impossible... and I guess the real problem would be if/when a bully becomes physically dangerous... the mental stuff can be handled (to a certain extent).

As far as my own children, our schools have been drumming the 'Six Pillars of Character' (program called -- Character Counts) into our kids from Elementary School on up. It is not that bullying is nonexistent but it really has made a difference since there has been an actual ZERO tolerance program in place and everyone is on the same page. The program teaches kids how to treat each other AND it teaches the teachers/staff how to handle bullying when it happens. Excellent program, as I see it!

They have a website if any of you are interested in working on getting your school to adopt the program. It really is quite amazing.

Here's the website if you want to read more about it:
The Six Pillars of Character - Trustworthiness, Respect, Responsibility, Fairness, Caring, Citizenship

I would contact the principals and arrange for a meeting with them and the teacher and your daughter. If you are not satisfied with the outcome of that meeting since your daughter,s well being and safety are at issue I would contact the district supervisor or superintendent of the school. There should be a zero tolerance for bullying.

Best of Luck to you and your daughter. Keep us updated on how things go.

If it were my child,and the school did nothing,I would move to an area with a school that enforces that "no bullying" policy.It also happened to a friend of mine at that school and their parents put her into a "Christian school".I would have loved to have gone there as I was a devoted christian at that time and it was God was who pulled me through it all.I just kept repeating verses of the bible in my head over and over till the evil didn't bother me.

I would demand a meeting with the principal, your daughter, all the kids involved, as well as their parents. At that meeting, I would be sure to have written out everything you want to say, and I would also ad, "if the bad behavior does NOT stop, I will have to take legal action". As bad as it sounds, a TRO (temporary restraining order) might be the way to go. It might just scare them all into compliance???

Sorry. If my child were bullying someone, I'd make them eat lunch with the kid or walk to class with them, or somehow befriend them. My kids know, you don't have to like everyone, but, we don't tolerate you being mean to anyone!

HTH. Good Luck.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

I hate bullies! I think the trick is to teach your child the skills to deal with the negative comments, like another poster said. You can only control your reaction, not other's comments. The bullies pick on the easiest target. Also, there are some kids at school, bless their little heart, who never stood a chance to begin with. I want to tell the parents to at least give them a shot at being cool... when the pants are so short that you can see the socks and the skin above the socks it's time for some new pants. LOL

Rebecca

My son's school has a zero tolerance policy on bullying. As soon as they hear about a problem (they don't have to see it) the principle takes care of it. He does a good job too. He's a very tall, intimidating looking guy, but very friendly and respectful. I think the kids are a little scared of him, but he's never been mean to them so they respect him.

I know the schools can control bullying and I say shame on those who don't!

The only weakness of the Zero bullying tolerance is that kids can lie and will, to protect their lil hineys.If the bullying isn't actually seen,its one kids word against the other,or the bully can have her friends back her up and blame everything on the victim and try to make it look like they were the bully.Who are they going to believe?They may just punish both parties in this case ,which accomplish nothing,or worse yet,believe the wrong story and punish the wrong person.

That may be, but I think teachers know which kids are prone to bullying and which are the ones that would be bullied. Even if both parties get detention, recess taken away or whatever, then are both kids are going to think twice about bullying. If the school does nothing at all, then the real bully just gets away with it and does it again, and again, and again.

All I know is that in my sons school, the policy works.

Oh kids can be so smart,though.I had one bully sit next to me in class.Then in the middle of class, jumped up and said I'm not putting up with "######" crap anymore and stormed out of the classroom.I had done nothing but sat there doing my classwork while she kicked me every time the teacher wasn't looking.And guess who gets in trouble. Kids are really good at hiding their bullying so the teacher has no clue.I think its wonderful that the above poster has a school where the zero tolerance "seems to be working" ,but can't help but wonder if its just that."Seems" to be working because the victims are silent.

My dd has had a hard time with some bullies this year. She is new to the school and didn't know many kids. For some reason, a group of boys has taken to calling her a rat (Inferring that her two front teeth are too large). It really upset her at first, but we had a conference with the guidance counselor, and some of the teachers that teach the classes that Nicole and these boys share, and the teachers are keeping on close eye on the boys.

Nicole knows she is beautiful, and she ignores them most of the time. My mom told me to tell her to tell the boys "You must REALLY like me to talk about me all the time!", but I fear it would make things worse.

I really feel bad for your daughter. ((hugs))

Holly

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There was a paddle hanging on the wall in the principal's office when I was a kid... That sure made kids think twice about bullying or otherwise!

Times certainly have changed.

I was in primary school in the 80's, when a lot of lip service was paid to no tolerance policies, and next to no discipline was handed out, so I have a lot of sympathy here. I would demand a meeting, point out which acts are actually illegal, and ask what their plan was for dealing with the problem. That seems pushy, I know, but there's no way a kid should be the target of that kind of attention. And girls can be really mean, and I don't think there's any harm in telling you're daughter that, and that it's not her fault.

I agree that ignoring a bully will only spur them on. I was the leader of the "nerd herd" when I was in school. Odd thing is, I wasn't picked on. Maybe it's because others knew that I fought fire with fire. Trust me, you don't want to screw with me or I'll screw with you.

Luckily, my kids school has a zero tolerance policy on bullying. They also have a PRIDE system that rewards good behavior, etc. Similar to program already mentioned above.

I also agree that the parents of bullies are usually bullies themselves and think their kids are perfect I HATE those bumper stickers: my kid can beat up your honor student
When is that something to be PROUD of?

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I would see if you can get your child transfer to another school next year.The school your child now attends has to approve it....I did this when I wanted my child to attend school on base when we lived off base..It was super easy ..All I had to do was bring a form for them to sign.

We live 30 miles away from dh work so the kids can attend a safe school....they bus other kids (from another city ) who perform poorly to our school now ......Which really gets me upset because some of these kids are in gangs We live in a very nice community ,very low crime rate and pay the extra expense to do so ...I'm so glad my kids are graduating this year!!

I don't think this bully is going to stop and it will just get worse the following years..I knew so many kids that were tease from grade school all the way to highschool I would definetly check into getting her transfer to another school

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Angels may not come when you call them, but they'll always be there when you need them.

Thanks for this topic. My DS just yesterday got off the bus in tears because no one would let him sit with them except for the bully. He sat with the bully and the bully said that a certain little girl was ugly. My DS stood up for the little girl and said she was not ugly and then the bully taunted my DS relentlessly with you love so and so over and over again. This is not the first time he has done this to my son and other kids. Well, my DS cracked and elbowed the lttle boy in the side. The bus driver saw my son and he got in trouble. I agree that he should not have elbowed the little guy, but he was fed up. I told him over and over to ignore him and to move around, but I guess he was done. The boys are going to visit the principle today so hopefully all went well. I'm on my way to pick him up right now. Hugs to OP for your DD. Life is so hard especially for kids in school.

It does seem like those buyyies come from ont type of home doesn't it? I have a friend who's daughter is being bullied and they are ruthless!

Let me tell you i f my DS EVER did that to another kid he would be in such HUGE trouble, how can these parents let iot go on? If he so much as says a mean thing (like one day he called another kid "stupid"), he had to come home and write an apology and draw a picture for them. Not going to let him get away with being mean to anyone!

I wonder how it would work to invite the bully and his parent over? Like have a play date, let them get to know each other, find something in common? Let the parents talk and get to know each other?

I do like the karate idea too, boost the self confidence!

Hope she's had a better day!

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

This may sound terrible, butwhen my DS(25) was in 3rd. grade he was being picked on by a bully. Yes, he was in karart also. He asked if I could come to school and make the other boy leave hime alone. I told him I could and that boy would not bother him anymore , but all the other boys in class would pick on him because his MOMMY had to come to school and protect him. I explained to him that he needed to stand up for himself. I told him he had to practice in the mirror using his meanest face and in his meanest voice telling the person to leave him alone. After he felt he had practiced enough and the boy bothered him again he was to use what he had practiced. (Children who are naturally good natured and are not used to this behavior do not know what to do when they are attacked. They need to practice it just like a sport or musical instrument. (They need to be reassured they have the POWER to take control of the situation.) I needed to raise my son's self esteem and empower him to properly take care of himself. Long story short the next time it happened DS used his meanest face and meanest voice and told the boy to leave him alone, another boy in the class said the bully had better leave him alone because DS takes karate and could beat him up. It was then over. Before it was settled my son asked what should he do if the mean face and talk didn't work. THIS IS THE PART THAT YOU WILL THINK IS CRAZY!!! I explained to him that it would work 99% of the time. In 1% the individual is such a nut that nothing would work. My son asked what to do then. I told him he might have to make a fist and punch the boy as hard as he could in the arm. I also explained to him that sometimes some people are so stupid that they do not get it when they are told something and they must be shown. I also told him to expect to get punished at school and he would have to take his punishment because he was disobeying school rules, but it would be over.

I was also bullied (in a way) in High school, the girl would yell stuff down the hall to me (calling me a slut-I was a virgin) just very pretty and I was 125lbs. with a 34DD. So anyway I would just respond by telling her shes just jealous ( she was 6' tall and weighed about 270 lbs.) She told all my friends if they continued to be friends with me she'd beat them up! So I ended up not really having any friends which was fine I had my sister and my guy friends. But any way one of the teachers that i had, had this girl in class right before i had her for class and she wouldnt help me (geometry) I couldnt figure out why she wouldnt help me I went from getting 90's in geometry to getting 50's. I would turn around to the boy behind me for help and she would yell even though I told her what we were talking about he was an honor student and always got very high marks in her class. So one day one of my other male friend was in this class to take a test and after the test was over (he talked to me when he got into the room) she asked him why he was talking to me I was a whore! I am still shocked over this! So that was why she wouldnt help me because she must have liked this girl and believed her stories, she would even hear the girl yelling things to me but as soon as i said something back she'd yell at me and would never say anything to this other girl.

I hope that your meeting with the school goes well on Monday, and maybe this can be stopped by the school since I do believe that bullies learn it from somewhere (the parents usually). My parents ended up transferring us to a private school.

We have decided that we will either have her moved to another class or pull her from school for the rest of the year. They only have till the end of May where I live. Also we recently found out her teacher does nothing when the kids are teasing her. Teasing is one thing but setting her up is what has really upset her. She is afraid to go back to the class.She doesn't know what they will do next.She is average weight 5 ft 3 101 pounds,pretty, honor roll student. I even brought up allowing her to defend herself if necessary and we would not punish her at home. She would have to accept any punishment the school had though .She said she wouldn't hit anyone it was wrong, she would feel bad and punish herself.Next year she will be in Middle School.I will keep you all posted. Thank you for all your advice and stories.

Seriously I was never really bullied all through elementary school...then came junior high!! There was a group of girls older than I was and they ruled the roost so to speak. The day that I seen those mean girls pick up a boy who was a dwarf and shove him into one of the huge rolling garbage cans and push it down the hall humiliating the hell out of him, something changed in me. Because I was taller than most girls they kinda left me alone...a few comments here or there, nothing major. I did basically always tell them to go to hell and that was it. But when I would witness how they tormented the "weaker" people it infuriated me. Long story short, it all came to a head at a school basketball game one night. I ended up beating the holy crap out of their ring leader. Next day at school her mom had to come in as well as my dad. Her mom was just as bad as her daughter, ranting and raving, that she has taught her daughter never to take crap from anyone and she encourages her to fight. The principals response was classic, "Well I suppose Mr. Kermans taught his daughter a little better by the looks of things". The principal knew that this girl was horrible and that I was a good kid and after her mom stormed out he actually told us he was hoping that this would happen before she went to the high school. Funny thing is that the girl and I became pretty good friends by the time graduation came around and she wasn't a bully anymore.

Now with all the "Hands are for helping not for hurting" theories that I have raised my kids to believe... things don't work so well. My oldest who is a huge kid. He was 5 foot tall in 2nd grade! He was clumsy, wore glasses and was picked on every single day. They "pants" him on the playground, tripped him, knocked his glasses off, etc. He always did the "right" thing. 1. Walk away 2. Tell a grown-up 3. Explain how it makes you feel (I guess this one is to try to get to the bullies softer side). Well the last time he walked away from a boy in 7th grade, the kid jumped him from behind, pulled his coat over his head and beat the crap out of him on the way home from school. So once again we did the "right" thing, we contacted the school who said they would suspend the boy again, but because he had an IEP they could not expel him even though he had done this many times. The principal begged me to call the police and start the paper trail, we did and went to court. When it came time for my son to answer the question of what do you think should happen. He replied that, " Albert needs to go to counseling to work out whatever is making him hate the world...and his mom needs to go with him". The judge smiled and said you made my day and that is what I will order. The judge looked at Albert and his mom and said you should thank this kid, because I was all set to put you in juvenile detention because of you suspension record...he saved your butt. I wish I could say it had a nice fluffy ending for Albert, but it didn't, he left my kid alone but found another target and ended up in juvenile detention the next year.

With my other two boys, I tweaked the rules a bit. If they are bullied, tell the teacher. If it continues I will talk to the principal, if it still does not stop...beat the crap out of the kid. No one should have to fear going to school. Sometimes a bully needs to have someone stand up and not take what they are dishing out. We have to empower our kids to know that they have the right to stand up for themselves and that if they have done all they can do, then it is okay to fight back.

I have often thought of the kids who just snap and go off the deep end because they have been bullied their whole lives. What if at one pivotal moment, they did fight back...how would their lives be changed. In a perfect world everyone would get along, but I honestly think that if we gave our kids the tools to stand up and fight back instead of the standard walk away, there would be much less bullying going on. Let's face it the nerds outweigh in sheer numbers the handful of bullies in a school!

OP, I am so sorry that this post is so long. Your daughter should not have to move schools or classrooms. She did nothing wrong! Is there not one girl or boy in the class that you can help her to befriend? There is much strength and confidence in having a buddy at your side. Give your daughter a small tape recorder and let her teacher and principal know she has it. Whenever these kids even start to speak to her instruct her to pull it out and say out loud, " Hang on a minute I would like to document what your saying!" If they taunt her for it...it will all be on record. There will be no doubt as to what is going on. Then take it to the school board....

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#3 Gone To Race In A Better Place...

I remember when I first got to high school, there were 3 girls that decided they wanted to pick on me. I was so tired of it they were always threatening to fight or jump on me etc. after a few weeks I just got tired of it and in the hallway in front of tons of students they started in with the verbal threats and I just started screaming at them you want to jump on me, come on I'll take each one of you on one by one, but 3 on one is not fair, you only want to jump on me 3 on one cause you know you can't win a fight fair with just one of you. We had a huge audience of students standing around of course. The girls backed down, never got bothered by them or anyone else for my entire high school years. Now I was not a viloent person, nor had I ever been in a fight, LOL, but they didn't know that. Maybe she could just start saying things out loud so the teacher can hear what's going on, like when the kid put the used tissue on her head saying out loud and disrupting the class a bit "hey get that nasty tissue of my head". Yes, it's a little distracting, but she needs to call them on it or they are going to keep on doing it, she has to stick up for herself.

When I was provoked physically (hit)I would fight back, (punch back) but that never worked for me.And I would always be the one who got in trouble.I guess I will always be clueless as to how to "fight back",lol. They even picked on me after I graduated,lol.

I would start worring about next year, 6th,7th and 8th grade are the worst years for any child. Is your dd going to be with the same group of kids? Our middle school have several feeder schools, which makes it huge compared to elementary. Is yours the same? You stated that she is honor roll will she be with the gifted kids? Just some things to think about. And mean kids are everywhere, even in private school. I know because my kids went to private school, it was just smaller but stilll mean girls with money!

I would talk to her teacher about the rest of the year. Come on how many more actually days of learning are left. My kids have 22 more school days and we all know that the last week is a waste of time, the grades are due the week before school is over. I would just see how many more days of learning are left and pull her out of school early.

I think you will make it worse for your daughter if you move her, or pull her from school. She will still see the same students if she is in another class, and it is both a hassle for your daughter (having to get used to a new room, rules, etc) and for the new teacher right before school is out.

Also, I believe that by pulling her, you are showing her that when things are tough- you run away (or give up). I don't want that to come across the wrong way (because I understand- I was bullied in school too). In the coming years she is going to have to put up with a lot of things, and this will hopefully make her stronger (as awful as it is). I hope that she sticks it out for the rest of the year. By pulling her, the bullies win.

Again, jm2c.

My DD had a girl who was a fair weather friend that would sometimes bully her last year. One day the girl would pick on my DD and then the next day she would be her best friend. She stole my DD's purse one day and then told her she wasn't giving it back so I had DD call her and tell she had better bring it to our house right now but the girl still said no. So after DD went off to play with another friend the girl called back and I spoke to her and told her I would greatly appreciate it if she would bring her purse back or I would gladly speak to her mother. Amazingly within 5 minutes the girl delivered the purse. The final straw with this girl was when DD came home from school with a huge red mark on her arm and crying. I asked her what was wrong and she said the other girl had punched her on the bus. I immediately called her mother who was in shock that these things were even happening and she brought the girl to the house and made her apologize to all of us. Thank goodness the child's family moved at the end of last year and now we don't have a bullying problem(at least not one that I'm aware of)
Our school system does have a Zero Tolerance program on bullying and they still do spankings if absolutely necessary so I think that deters alot of the bullying around here. I think it also helps that most of the children are very scared of the new principal this year.

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"Let me watch my children grow to see what they become
Lord don't let that cold wind blow til I'm too old to die young'

We had the meeting today. They all pretty much acted like they didn't know what was going on. And pretty much incinuated my daughter brought it upon herself by being an individual. And if she plans to be an individual in the future she should expect such treatment.My husband told them it didn't excuse the tormenting they were doing to her to which they agrred. We have decided with only 20 days left of the year to let them transfer her to another class with the understanding that the bully have no contact with her whatsoever.I will keep you posted

Does not seem very responsive to me....but with only 20 days they probably just want to sweep it under the rug and hope it goes away. I guess your best bet is to hope for better next year---but if it starts off bad, jump on it right away!

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"Well-Behaved Women SELDOM make history."Laurel Thatcher Ulrich


"Yesterday is but a vision, and tomorrow is only a dream. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a dream of hope." Anonymous

"Your candle does not lose it's light by lighting another candle" Generosity

Have the courage to be yourself.

Excellent point and well said.

Oh my god this makes me think if I would be able to handle something like this if it happens to my son although he has my character which is you treat me as you want to be treated or you mess with me or hit me I will f#(k you up and feel free to call my mom because she will stand behind me. I went to public school because we couldn't afford a lot of things my parents and myself can now that I have a little one, but I used to tell my mom if someone mess with me I am going at it. My mom was cool about situations that the principal many times didn't bother to call her because my mom would say since you guys don't handle it my daughter does her way so I don't want to hear any complaints while I am busting my behind working to suppport my kids mind you there were 4 of us. I remeber they used to try to suspend me from school and my mom will take me along with her to school and they had to accept me back the next day. At least here you have to be a strong parent and teach your kids to be strong and be a step ahead of everything otherwise they bully you, do things to others and blame you etc. I mean it got to the point where no one messed with me because when they teased me I never answered back, but when they least expected it I used to smack them around and you know how it is when you build up anger inside. I don't mean to be violent, but as a 5th grader I was in that position because we had just moved here and I was the new girl. It wasn't long before I set the record straight, but if my mom wouldn't of supported me and be my friend I don't know how I would have been. Not all public school are like that, but there are many that are. I thank god for being blessed and being able to afford to send my son to a great school. Good Luck!

If the teacher and the principal can not get this to stop...I would contact the police. Being pushed down is assault. I'm a teacher in an elementary school and I've seen the police called in to talk upper grade students, parents etc. Your child should not be going through any of this!

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All we are and all we see is but a dream in a dream, All that you see or seem, is but a dream within a dream--Edgar Allan Poe

Thank you for all the advice. She went back to school today in a different class. She was nervous but it went well. For those of you who suggested she defend herself she said is was wrong to hurt someone and she would feel bad after doing so. She has great restraint. She coped with the situation the best she could and I have chewed up pencils from her stress. The counselor tried to say that she thought the push my daughter had received months ago was just a light push ( she said thats what she thought) or it would have been handled differently. This was a lie as I told her she was pushed and fell on her butt.Of course when it gets to a bigger problem they have to CYA.I have my fingers crossed that things continue to go okay.I don't want my daughter to think a school is a placed to be harrassed.She loves to learn.

I am glad to hear that your daughter is adapting to the change. But I have to say something from experience. WIth my oldest son I truly did teach him all the "right" things. The hands are for helping not hurting...walk away...tell a grown up etc. He was truly tortured. The bullies knew he would not fight back so they were relentless. It got to the point where he begged me not to go into the school and tell the principal because it made things worse. It did not matter that he was twice the size of his tormentors either. He always said that he did not want to hit them because he was bigger and didn't want to hurt them. So for the most part his elementary and middle school years were miserable for him. Now he is a junior in high school (in a new district) and is 6'5 and 230 pounds and no one really messes with him, but he has horrible memories of the years he was bullied. I felt terrible for trying to teach him all the right things when so many parents do not. It was so instilled in his head that he suffered greatly.

When I had my other boys 5 and 8 years later I still taught them to walk away and tell a grown up but added if that does not help...knock them on their butt. Neither one of my younger boys are bullied or bully other kids. They are confident and well adjusted. I wish I would have learned that sooner!

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#3 Gone To Race In A Better Place...