My son is a mature 12 year old. Large for his age (5'8"), pimply, hairy, man-voice, etc.

Besides the fact that my baby is growing up (!), the attitude is what really gets to me. He knows everything (Mom is *dumb*) and absolutely EVERYTHING is an argument. My DH tells me to 'choose my battles' but DH is not here 24 hours a day to help me make good choices, LOL.

I have always stressed the importance of respecting others with both of my boys and lately, it has been very hard because I feel like *I* have become the target of a huge amount of disrespect.

We have been grounding the boy from things that he loves (and that helps), but I get so tired of always having to be 'on my toes' in regards to his behavior and giving out consequences for misbehavior. He's old enough to not throw 2yo tantrums! Aah, yes, hormones!

How do you (or did you) cope with this! It wears me down. and I have a nice long summer coming up. I really just dread it.


Yet, he is the sweetest young man. Always gives me a kiss at bedtime... and we can have some relatively mature conversations now. I enjoy these times but so rare, few and far between.

must be the age my 12 yr old dd is the same way she knows it all & everything is an argument

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mom of 3 greats girls

Ah! First they become teenagers and then young adults.

My son graduates from college on May 11th. To say the time flew by is an understatement. Those teenage years were rough. It does get better. My advice to you is just to catch a glimpse of them while they are sleeping. It always seemed the safest time to me. (While they are awake it can be hard to see through the persona they undertake during these wickedly tumultuos years.)

Oh! ... and the best of luck to each of you!

That is sweet. Thank you for that suggestion...

I do like to go in his room before he wakes up in the morning and watch him for a few minutes before I let the dog jump on him and wake him up. It is bittersweet.

Thankfully, he got a good night's sleep last night and has a friend over today so we are getting a respite from the attitude -- he knows if he's ornery when friends are over, he won't have friends over for awhile.

We go day-by-day. Thanks again.

I sit with my 2 and 4 year old and think how sweet and busy they are.. I go to my sisters house whose girls are 17 and 15 and think... If you would just speak that way to your mother while your in the same room as her.... I dread it.. I hope you hang in there and have way more restraint than I do!!

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Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like. - Will Rogers

Cuthie, your son is almost 14 inches taller than my 12 yr old!!!! He is immature for his age and quite small. He has always been a love and very obedient- couldn't bear for me to be mad at him.
Well, now he can deal with it when I am mad at him- and I know this is a very necessary step in his maturing. He stands his ground with me now. He is occasionally a little mouthy- but his usual reaction is the eye roll. It is almost cartoonish the way that boy can roll his eyes.

How about leaving him a seething phone message on his cell phone?? LOL Just kidding - couldn't resist!!

CJ, crack me up! I mean, you really are funny!!! At first I read your post and thought, he does NOT have a cell phone and then I remembered the last time someone did that... and it ended up on the internet! Egads. You are so funny!

Mailady, you son sounds like my youngest son who is now 10. It will be very interesting to *meet* the hormones with that little guy. Oh my. He's very immature at this point -- we even kept him back a year in school and he's still lagging maturity-wise. He's very obedient and can't stand the way his big brother is acting. It really upsets him... which upsets all of us.

On a more serious note, I have a soon-to-be-13 year old who has not gone through puberty yet and a 17 year old. I agree with your husband on the "choose your battles" advice. I really don't want to have everything be an argument so I let some things go....my younger one wears his pants falling down (a little, I do make him wear a belt) and two big silver chain necklaces. OMG. Who would have thought I'd allow that? But it's just him expressing his individuality and I really think the more I disagree, the more it seems attractive to him. I do not hound them too bad about the condition of their rooms. I let them watch some questionable stuff (Simpsons, Comedy Channel, Farmily Guy, and South Park for the older one) on TV now so that they feel they are all grown up. I do insist that they do well in school, do not get in trouble, and are kind and respectful.

On the respect, this may not work for everyone, but I try to keep it light by making it funny....I will act like their slave, or give them the same treatment back in some way that eventually makes us both crack up. But then again, I've been called "the bomb of a Mom" by some of their friends....and maybe that's not a good thing!!


cj/

I remmeber when my oldest was 13 and always wanting to disrespect me and argue with me!
I finally laid down the law one day! I did it during a time when we had not had a confrontation, I sat her down and told her I did not deserve and would not put up with disrespect! and I would show her respect as long as she acted respectful.
I also told her that if we were going to have a fight I would win and she would be sorry! we still had some problems but drawing the line helped a lot !

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What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.