I keep all of my 'treasures' (from cvs, walgreens, etc) in a pantry. Nicely organized and together. However there are friends and family members who think that because I got Pantene for free that means they can help themselves to them. I try to encourage them to do the same.. or even better yet.. give me the money to do theirs for them.. but no.. they just want to take what is mine. So I am 'cutting them off'. Am I being rude? My friend thinks that I am but I told her MY TIME and MY EFFORT in going and getting these deals weren't free, that the product was but only after time researching it and sometimes matching them with coupons.. Am I wrong in my thinking? Is it rude not to want to constantly share? I mean she thinks I should supply her college daughter in pantene and body wash, not to mention tampons and pads since she is a struggling college student.. HELP me! I don't mind helping out once in a while but when my family was struggling just to put food on the table I didn't go through her food pantry..

No your not wrong she is. How rude!

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Laura
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Thanks for the support... I just feel that she is wrong to expect that everytime she comes over she can 'shop' at my house. Now I do allow a single mother to come and 'shop' at my house when she has too much month to her money... but that is a totally different story. My friend has more than enough $$ to do this herself she is just too 'busy' (her words not mine). I have even suggested that she give me $X (to start in her investments) and let me start her a cvs card and she can reap the benefits too.. but no, she didn't want that...

I agree. I've had friends that do the the same and I told them no more. I would rather it go to my single mother sister that is struggling and is appreciative of it anyway! your getting taken advantage of.. put your foot down!

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Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like. - Will Rogers

QUOTE: I try to encourage them to do the same.. or even better yet.. give me the money to do theirs for them.. but no.. they just want to take what is mine

First thing that came to mind is the old saying, If you don't help yourself, don't expect no one else to.

Remind her that personal shoppers get paid big money for finding good deals and that you don't mind helping occassionally, but other than that no deal. ALSO, I would tell her maybe she should ENCOURAGE the 'struggling college' student to learn the art of deals. Would be great a education for her too!

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parents who use coupons have children who use coupons (hahaha...I rephrased a drug commercial!!)

I don't blame you for being mad. I would be pi$$ed if this happened to me! My husband used to encourage people to use MY coupons! I only get one Sunday paper and I get the all you mag in the mail along with my mils coupons and my moms coupons. I don't mind giving my mil or mom or even my babysitter my freebie deals because they watch my son all the time free of charge! I know, it's a given with a grandparent but to have a friend watch my son for free is a god-send! I am constantly cooking for her, shopping for clothes for her kids, bringing her bags of food and hba stuff, etc.. she deserves it!

I would invest in a padlock (with a combination in case you are prone to losing keys) and put it on your pantry. Let your family and friends who can afford to shop know this is a food bank and unless they can provide proof of poverty or they can donate to the cause, it's closed to them! It should go over really well if you do it in a lighthearted manner.

As far as the college student goes, offer to teach her personally how to get free food, pads, tampons, pantene, and bodywash but if she is unteachable, give it up! So many people have gone shopping with me and they are amazed at my savings but they tell me they don't have time. I asked a teacher on another website if she would rather live paycheck to paycheck or learn to be a serious couponer and she said she would rather live paycheck to paycheck! She said the time she spends with her family is far to precious to start couponing! I said I spend at most ten minutes a day on ads and coupons...as far as shopping, my son loves to sit at the blinkie machines and pull coupons for me when I am sorting things out. With shopping itself, it's an educational lesson because he knows colors and shapes, numbers and counting, store names and even brands! (he's 2).

You shop for your immediate family and not for the village. I know bragging rights are there and I am guilty of pulling out receipts but I now choose my receipt-readers wisely. So, stop bragging to your friends about your savings and start telling them if they have such and such coupon and they use it at xyz store they can get abc product for $$ or better!! Reword your brags to opportunities to teach people how to coupon...just don't go crazy with it, we all would like some free food, pads, tampons, pantene, and bodywash when we get to the store!!

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Interesting how folks think this is wrong, but I often read posters who feel that because a family member or a celebrity or whomever has a fair amount of MONEY, that they should be charitable with it. Not directed at any specific person, but the trend definitely seems like a double standard.

As for me, I think that nobody should expect handouts from anyone else no matter how well off the person is or how much stockpile is in the closet. I think it's bizarre that people go in your closet/pantry and help themselves.

cj

Is this a pantry with cabinet type doors or a door knob door? If it's a door knob pantry, put a locking door knob on. If it has cabinet type doors, stand firm, say no and direct them away from the pantry. No one can take advantage of you if you don't allow it.

HOW RUDE! You are not wrong! I would post a sign on the pantry door "this is not YOUR pantry! STAY OUT! Shoplifting is a crime!"

People are so rude! If your friends daughter is struggling then SHE should be helping her out and your family...OMG...a whole nother story. I can't imagine my family doing that. I guess I would kick their butts if they tried thought

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

I know I get so irked at people thinking well it was free my main one is my husband LOL. But he will want me to help say one of his friends who has 7kids or something I have written tips down & such & told him to give them to his friend he wont he wants me to just give him stuff HUMM sorry. Its like the old saying give a man a fish he eats for 1 day teach him to fish he eats for a lifetime.

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mom of 3 greats girls

Put sticker prices that include your tax, time and gas on your products. That should get the point across. When you add all that up that bottle of Pantene is gonna cost her $15!!

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Vicki


TLJ Women united in Spirit!

Wow that is so rude!

I would definitely get a lock - I have seen combination locks at CVS so maybe you can pick up one of those. I can't believe she would have the gall to ask for you to support her college aged daughter as well, talk about deferring parental responsibility!

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Your not being the rude one The next time they asked ..I would tell them I'm trying to save money that is the reason why I stock up..., but the next time I run into a deal I'll be sure to call you and let you know about it so you can take advantage of it.

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Heck yeah it would bother me. I find that terribly rude. Like someone else suggested I would lock it up or better yet move it. What a surprize that would be the next time they came to help themselves.

Laura

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You are not rude, your friend is.

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Nutella,....
proving some of the best things in life come in a jar.

True about the fruits of your effort being your own, whether that's a monetary income, or shampoo. Personally, I'd use the free items as gifts as needed, and tack on an instruction sheet for those who might be receptive, but the items weren't free in the sense that no effort was put into them, and aren't there for the taking.

I think you are right and have every right not to share. I mean it was your time, gas, mileage in car etc. to get all of your free items. You still had to cover time and gas so if they want they could buy it from you at whatever you decide to ask for or go pay full price. I began to do this at my house because my husband family thought I was WELFARE here. They always needed soap, toothpaste, toothbrushes, razors etc. so I clearly told them you can pay full price at the store or pay what I ask for them. Imagine I always stock up on Tide w/ frebreeze or tide w/ dawny and they even tried to get those. People do take advantage and you have to stop them if they don;t like it too BAD. I don't want someone coming over for what I have at home extra they come because they want to see em and spend time not for convenience.