My DH would like to legally adopt my 10yr old DD but I don't know the first thing we need to do. He's been with her since before she was 2yr old so she's always thought of him as her dad but we would like to make it official. Where do I start? How much does it cost? Do I actually have to track down her loser real father? Her so called real father is not even listed on her birth certificate because he left me as soon as I told him I was pregnant so I didn't have him put on her certificate.
Has anybody else done this? Is it pretty simple or will it be complicated? Any input would be greatly appreciated.
TIA
Kim

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"Let me watch my children grow to see what they become
Lord don't let that cold wind blow til I'm too old to die young'

I adopted my 2 stepkids over 16 years ago. We had to retain a lawyer. He had to send out registered letters and post adds in newspapers to let Bio mom know what we were intending to do. She had a certain amount of time to respond. Afterwards, the courts removed her parental rights and the adoption was made final. They will give you the papers that you will need to send to the state for the new birth certificate.

Things may have changed on the way they do things now, but basically, his parental rights have to be terminated 1st before an adoption can take place.


Good luck and congrates on having a special man in your life wiling to call you child his own!

My step-dad adopted me about 20 years ago and it was pretty much the same thing. My sperm-donar dad was a loser from the beginning and no address was known, etc. The lawyer had to send letters to the last known address and post it in the newspaper.

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Before you retain a lawyer you need to check and see if your court system has a family law division that is helpful. Many times forms, procedures, etc. are available as a packet and you can do it yourself. You have to pay for the form pack (for my dh to get full custody of his daughter the forms cost us $25) and the filing fees, usually less than $100.

Try that before going to a lawyer. It might take you a bit of research and some time but the money you will save will be worth it.

My dh adopted my oldest when she was five. It cost us $500 for the lawyer fees. My ex agreed to the adoption and signed the papers BEFORE the hearing. We went in and the judge asked my dh a few questions and that was it.

I was told that if the father doesn't see the kid in six months (no contact at all) that you can petition the court for termination of parental rights.

I'd call a family lawyer and get a consultation and find out what you need to do. I can't imagine it would be that much unless her bio dad contests it.

Good luck!

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Amy
Mom to Lauren, Eryn, Naysa
and announcing......
Gavin Michael Chase, 9 lbs 10 ozs
and 21 3/4 inches long on 10/13/09!

My husband formally adopted my son 2 years ago after being his dad for the past 11 years (he's 12 now). We had a lawyer. they had to post the ads in the newspaper (his sperm donor lives in Virginia) and show that they tried to find him to subpoena him. It took FOREVER but only b/c our lawyer sucked. But we also changed his last name. We didn't have to do much of anything except wait.

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"Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God? " ~Epicurus

Thanks everyone for the advice.

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"Let me watch my children grow to see what they become
Lord don't let that cold wind blow til I'm too old to die young'

I may be way off here but I'm wondering if you tell them that you don't who the father is, that they will let your DH adopt your daughter. Or maybe because you didn't put him down on the b.c. that it doesn't matter. I'm not sure but good luck.

The only advice I have is already posted.

I am posting a comment because I want to say that it is wonderful that you have someone who wants to be a daddy to your daughter. That is awesome! Many children without fathers are sometimes unlucky and never find a good role model much less a dad, so I commend you and your guy. That is so awesome. Congrats! And I hope the formality is not difficult, but if it is, I believe it will be worth it.

Congratulations to your family!

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email is moserlara@yahoo.com

I wondered that myself. I'm going to call around and ask. My DD turned 10 in March and her sperm donor only saw her one time when she was a month old so in my opinion after not seeing her or having any contact in 10 years he has no parental rights but I doubt the courts will see it that way. My DH is wonderful to her and what really surprised me was the fact that when I met him he was just a 19yr old "kid" himself but he glady took on the challenge. He'll be 28 this August and he just keeps getting better. He's a wonderful husband and father.

Thanks everyone.

__________________
"Let me watch my children grow to see what they become
Lord don't let that cold wind blow til I'm too old to die young'