I had a problem on Thursday with my DD's preschool teacher and I need a little help (or advice) with a letter.

While my DD was at school, my DS's school called and said he wasn't feeling well and wanted to go home. He had a low grade fever and just didn't feel well. So I picked him up and about an hour later I go to pick up DD. DS took a 1/2 hour nap on the way over and was just tired and drained so we waited in the car until it was time to get her.

So we go in and DS says hi to DD and throws up, all he had was juice, so it was only watery, no chunks or anything really nasty, didn't even smell and wasn't much. So I rush him out to the bathroom right outside the door and DD's teacher rolls her eyes at me and gives me the dirtiest look. I helped DS and then went in with paper towels to wipe the floor up and caught the teacher and the aid talking about it (they stopped talking as soon as I walked in the door). SHe didn't say anything to me, not "how is he", "don't worry, we'll get that", nothing, just rolls her eyes. Then when i went out she slams the door.

The more I think about it, the more I am angry about how she handled it. Another mother stopped me in the parking lot and said she saw the whole attitude and was shocked at how mean the teacher was. I am supposed to have conferences with her in a week or so and I don't even want to be in the same room with her. I thought about cancelling them, because I know DD is fine and doesn't really need it anyway. I also wanted to write her a letter and let her know how dissappointed i was in her reaction. Luckily DD would not have her as a teacher next year.

What do you think? WWYD?

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

There are no excuses for that.

I'd do one of two things....

I believe I remember from other posts that otherwise, you have been very happy with the teacher... so based on that, I might opt to let it slide. Even though there are no excuses for that, she might have been having a bad day... we all do.

Otherwise, if you really want to put time and effort into this and NOT let it slide, I'd probably go in and talk with the principal. Tell him/her the story that they laid out here and let them take care of it.

Best of luck in your decision.
I hope your little guy is feeling better! Yuck.

She has had an attitude with other parents, but never toward me. I volunteer a lot at the school, belong to the parents group and have gone there a couple of years now, so I think she's nicer because of those things.

If she wants to roll her eyes and complain behind closed doors, that's fine, I would expect it, but in front of the other parents and kids, that I can't agree with.

It's a Methodist school, there isn't a principal, just the Pastor and the director. I did tell the secretary and the Pastor when I was leaving that DS was sick and the teacher was really mad, they new I was upset too. I didn't want to report her or anything, but I feel like she should apologize.

SHe rubs a lot of people the wrong way and now I'm on that list. DD loves her though.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

Because I have a streak of the devi in me, I would probably send her a note - but it would be a gushing apology. You know, just to make her feel really bad for being a jerk about it.
cj/

That might be a good approach... Hee hee.

Give her chocolate... Write something about how difficult May must be with the school year winding down and you hope that she has an easy month... "Let me know if you need any help with anything"... etc.

Turn on the charm.

I don't think she would feel bad. I am extra nice to her, I always tell her to have anice weekend, I volunteer, etc, and this is what I get? Imagine how she is to people she doesn't like!

Usually I would let it go too, think ok she's had a hard day, but I guess I am over thinking it. But she never is overly friendly, we didn't even get a thank you for her Christmas gift (I know I should be over that by May, but that was rude too). Just fed up with the attitude now that it's directed at me.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

Do you think that maybe she was upset that you had brought a sick child into the school? Maybe she was thinking since you knew he was sick you should not have exposed him to the other kids?
Now, I'm in no way agreeing with her attitude. If it were me, I'd probably just let it slide although I think it was rude and uncalled for. School is almost out and your dd won't have her next year and since she's inclined to rub many people the wrong way, it will probably catch up with her at some point.

Good luck with your decision and hopefully your son is feeling better!!

Oh, my dd's 3rd grade teacher sounds like this teacher too. Never a thank you for anything, never overly friendly unless she needs me to do something.....but I've learned to just ignore her and deal with her only when I HAVE to. I do understand how you feel about the treatment though.

I'll probably get flamed for this but here goes. I'm siding with the teacher on this one. She was probably upset that you brought a child who was sick into her classroom and THEN he threw up! I don't care if it was only juice. You knew your son was sick because he was running a fever. I don't think you should send her a letter telling her how disappointed you were in her reaction. I think you should be sending her a letter stating how sorry you were that you brought your son with you and he threw up in her classroom.

No, actually I had thought of that too, but it wasn't like he had been throwing up all day. I just went in to pick her up and leave, we waited in the car until it was time to go in. He never touched anything and I had NO IDEA he even had an upset stomach, he hadn't thrown up, just had a fever. If he was throwing up of course I wouldn't bring him, but it was only a fever, no other symptoms.

And I don't care if she was mad or not, she should not have been that rude and disrespectful in front of other parents and students. Every parent there has brought a sibling in to pick up another child if they were home sick, it just so happens that mine threw up.

How would she react if a student threw up? Would she be mad at them, or the parents for bring them to school that day? Some times you don't know that's going to happen.


BTW, I apologozed when we were there and I cleaned it up instead of taking care of my son because I knew she was mad and I was sorry it happened. But then to slam a door on us?

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

I see no reason to go over the teacher's head and go to the principal. That should be reserved for when all other methods of resolving things have failed, not as a first resort. I would hope a parent would come to me first if there was a problem, yes, it's difficult, but it's the mature thing to do

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Jackie

Music is what feelings sound like._ ~Author Unknown

If the OP was wrong by bringing in a sick child, then the teacher should have handled it more professionally.

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Jackie

Music is what feelings sound like._ ~Author Unknown

No flames from me! If the boy was too sick to be in his own class, then why should he be in any other class room?

Sounds to me like everyone is overreacting. If you were a teacher, you can't tell me you wouldn't be a little 'put-out' that someone brought in a child who then threw up in your classroom. If a child threw up in her classroom during the day, I think that would be a totally different reaction. The OP probably caught the teacher rolling her eyes and I would think most all people would react someway to somebody throwing up. The OP happened to see the teacher roll her eyes. The teacher is human. And if the door did slam, maybe the wind got hold of it or she closed it a little harder than she realized. Gosh, give the teacher a break. Don't go to the principal as one poster suggested!!

Hey! People must be misreading my post so hopefully I can clear it up!!! I'm the one who suggested talking to the principal. I'd do it conversationally, not as a special meeting. I honestly don't think that is immature! I think that it is more respectful of the teacher then writing her a letter... Also, it sounds like the pastor has already been talked to?!

At this point since you've already talked with the pastor, I'd let this go(that was the other suggestion that I gave)... Chalk it up to a bad day and a teacher who is May-tired and was grossed out.

I would bring her some clorox wipes and lysol( my newspaper had $1 off coupon on the lysol this sunday) on monday and just tell her you are so sorry that your son threw up in her classroom. Let her know that you didn't know he was that sick...you know how stomach things come on so quickly. Basically kiss up to her but don't write her a note, once it's on paper she has it forever!! Then on tuesday, which is teacher's appreciation day, bring her in some flowers don't go crazy just some nice one from the supermarket will do. Then count the days till school is over and you won't have to deal will her anymore.

If I knew he was sick to his stomach, I would have asked another parent to get DD for me, but I had no idea. We were just running in and out, no socializing, just grab and go at the classroom.

I did not think it would do any harm bringing him, there was no where else TO bring him. If he told me he felt sick, I would have waited outside with him, but like I said it was only a low grade fever, nothing alarming. I'm sure a lot of us have sent our kids to school sick and not even known it.

I still do not think she handled it appropriately, whether or not I should have brought him in or not. She made an already bad situation worse.

I didn't speak to the pastor directly, I was addressing the secretary who was very understanding and said she would take care of everything and he happened to be at her office door when I told her what happened. I would never speak to him about it, or even the director, it wasn't something that important, but I do feel like she could have been more professional, the slamming of the door was what really topped it off.

I do appreciate all of the opinioins and yes they are hard to read and sting a little, but I see your point about not bringing him, I just didn't see a better choice at the time.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

that is what I tought ,that you had to take your son to be able to pick your DD up.you surely couldn't leave him alone inside your vehicle!!!!!
I hope he feels better now.
what to do about the teacher? let it ride.she won;t be you rdd ';s teacher next year!

But, if you'd left him in the car alone, you'd be flamed for leaving him in the car alone!!

You did what you had to do...you had no idea he had a belly ache. A child with a slight fever isn't going to get anyone else sick by walking past them on the way to their sister's room!

I know that it was an uncomfortable situation due to the teacher's unprofessional attitude (she is a PRESCHOOL teacher, kids get sick and throw up!!) But, look at it this way, thankfully you didn't leave him in the car! You would have felt much worse if you'd come back and found that he had thrown up in the car while he was all alone.

Hope he is feeling better and all has worked out okay. I hate conflict like that. It makes you feel yucky!

I am entering the teenage years with my son and let me tell you it is hard! I get eye-rolls and door slams all the time (there ARE consequences of course!).

I'm getting really depressed about it myself so I know how it feels. I'm a very sensitive person and have to always keep on telling myself that this stage will pass and I'll have a wonderful young man after all of this is said and done.

Sorry to digress but wow, I long for the preschool days!





Flipper... try giving her a Twinkie *wink*

I'm the same way. Mine's 17 and I am getting the "WHAT" and "NEVERMIND" all the time. I say Steven..he says WHAT. as in what do you want this time. Or I will be spoken to like I am stupid. You know how kids know everything and we don't know anything, right? Geez I would rather just leave him alone and be alone than have to go through that. I don't even bother saying anything at all except what is absolutely necessary.

I hope no one thought I was meaning for you to leave him in the car!

There is no way I would ever condone that. In fact I was mad today at the mall that some one left a little dog in a car! No windows open either!

I would send a letter about the behavior to the pastor or director. A conversation with a teacher might 1) make things more tense for your child or 2) she might not even "get the concept" of professionalism or how to utilize it.

I couldn't imagine taking a sick child into a different school, but I am sure you didn't do this intentionally.

Good luck in whatever decision you make.

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SPJRNTGADL!

The mean person that sometimes lives inside me thinks that this is a really good idea but that you should give her chocolate or something that your son has breathed on. She might feel a little more empathic to people who are not feeling well if she has to deal with the same illness.

OK, so I would never do that... but I sure would want to!!

Darlene

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Sell crazy some place else, we are all stocked up here.

I don't think I will do anything, but I am not going to be overly friendly with her either. I am the first one she comes to when she needs a volunteer and there are a lot of things coming up this month, but I really don't feel like helping her out now.


I still don't know what to do about the conference, maybe just go for DD anyway and take DH with me.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

Maybe a couple will sweeten her sour puss! LOL!

She was crabby again today at another mom, I didn't even look at her.

School only has one more month to go thankfully.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

If you want help with a letter, I can help with that. If I were you, I'd try something like this:

"As a pre-school teacher, I can only imagine how stressful it can be for you some days. However, as an equally stressed parent, I think I took your actions the other day (when my child was ill) the wrong way. While I tend to be understanding of how hard it is to deal with kids, much less when they are not feeling up to par, another parent might not be as understanding or able to cope with what happened.

Our job as parent/teacher is to make things as easy on the child as possible but the other day made me realize that was compromised. Is there anything you can suggest we do to make sure this doesn't happen to anyone else, especially perhaps an inexperienced parent who isn't as lucky as we are to have a sounding board per se?

Thanks and have a great day!

xxxxxx"

Hope this helps - it sort of puts the ball in her court without making her defensive.

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Catt
~ Mirror Mirror on the wall, I am my mother - after all! ~

Catt, I just love you! You always know the right thing to do or say!

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Mom to 3 - one with 2 legs and 2with 4!

Aw, thanks! I appreciate the kind remark

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Catt
~ Mirror Mirror on the wall, I am my mother - after all! ~

What was OP supposed to do -- leave him in the car while she ran in to get her DD. In some states, depending on the age of the child, it is against the law. She didn't know he was going to throw up and they were just going to go in to pick up her DD -- not like they intended to stay in the classroom for any length of time.

OP, I would just let it go. The teacher should not have been rude, but there's really nothing you can do about it. Be the bigger person and walk away, the school year is almost over anyway.

Just my two cents.........
Sarah.....mom to Jason & Devin

Sounds like she has issues.

If it was me, I would be attending that meeting with her to get to the bottom of it all, but that's just me.

Good luck!

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"Those who do not find time for exercise will have to find time for illness."
~ Earl of Derby

Looks like the OP isn't going to go any further with this one, but in the general case, I think it would depend on how the teacher interacts with the children. It would be nice if she worked well with parents, but it's kinda in the "extra credit" department.

cj/

No, I wasn't going to say anything else. I did hear that she had a bad day with another student that day too, so I was the icing on the cake I guess.

It did bother me though and not only because it was my son, but because I had heard the same sort of complaints from other parents, but I've never actually seen it first hand until now.

There is a class trip on Thursday and only about 4 out of 12 are going, the rest are going to the park. I want DD to go though, she really likes the teacher and we go to the park all the time.

Tonight is conferences and I am hoping everything goes smoothly. Usually she is very friendly for these, must take a happy pill. If the topic comes up, I will have some sympathy for her I think, depending on what is said of course.

Wish me luck!

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer