I was invited to a bridal shower for someone I"m not very close to... Here is the story.

9 years ago we worked together for a few years and occasionally went out in a group. I never called her at home, met with her alone outside of work, etc. We spoke at work casually. I have only seen her in a group 2-3 times in the last 9 years. She is now getting married and her family has a large amount of money. The wedding is out of town, which will require a hotel and flight for me to attend. I was asked for my mailing address to send the bridal shower invite.

I don't want to go since I hardly spend time with her. It would involve a costly bridal shower gift, then for sure I would get invited to the wedding and have to get a flight, hotel and another gift.

So far I have not sent in my address, but others in our groups of friends could supply it. If I decline to attend, must I send a gift?

If I remember right no your not required to send a gift if you decline. Personally I would decline but send a small $25 gift card.

__________________
Laura
Please visit my blog
http://mylifeinlaurasworld.blogspot.com/

People have gotten so greedy these days when it comes to gifts, etc. They invite every single person they have ever known in their entire life, whether they are still in contact or not.

Who asked you for your address? I would just say "You know, I really don't know so-and-so that well, and an invitation is not necessary since I live so far away and would be unable to attend". If you still get an invite, I personally would not send a gift.

Holly

Found this site-- explains it better than I did. Do You Have to Bring a Gift? | Life Skills : RealSimple.com

__________________
Forgiveness is love in its most noble form. -Anonymous

Sound like a gift getting event, just invite everyone you ever met and have them bring a gift! I wouldn't go or send a gift. You don't really know the woman and who invites people they don't know to a birdal shower or even a wedding?

IMO, totally sounds like a solicitation for a gift.

__________________
Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

Send a nice card with your best wishes.

maybe we got invited to the same bridal shower!

I got an invitation from my first cousin up north--a good 9 hour drive away.

I haven't spoken to her in almost 8 years and prior to that the last time that I saw her was on her wedding day...like 20 years before that! I didn't even know she had a son!

Well he is getting married and HIS family is giving them a bridal shower...

On the invitation it says "rsvp with your regrets only" ...and we are taking that to mean, "we know you can't afford to drive here, so send us a gift anyway".

I found that the bride-to-be is a French teacher for a private boarding school up north...and the groom-to-be (my 2nd cousin) is an Engineer for Toyota.

Someone suggested I go buy the cheapest, ugliest, tackiest soap basket at Walmart and send it in a box with "our regrets" lol

__________________
SPJRNTGADL!

I wouldn't do that, for the sheer fact that it would reflect negatively on you. Would you want people thinking or saying that you give cheap crap gifts??? I feel the same way you do, believe me.....but, I wouldn't "cheap out". Just RSVP with your "regret"...hmmmm, or is it??? LOL.

__________________
Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

I wouldn't send a cheap gift, just regrets and then maybe a card. But if you are determined to go the cheap route, then go to one of the dollar stores and pick up a figurine and send it off.

I would not send a gift or a card.

well someone suggested it... I haven't done anything. I think it's best that I forget that I even got it.

To make matters worse (could it get any worse?) lol ... my daughter brought in the mail that day and says "Mom these traders really need to learn how to spell your name!" (I was thinking...I haven't traded in a long time..what's she talking about)...needless to say, my name was REALLY mangled on the envelope and it was from my cousin (invite inside)! Now, we have been married for 9 years this July, so that tells you she knows as much about me as I know about her. LOL

So, for now, I am pretending that I didn't even get an invitation.

I went to their BB&B bridal shower list...the cheapest thing they "picked" out was 1 single plate for $68!! (and they are wanting 20 of them). Almost enough to make me reply that you can get Corel dishes ... service for 4 for under $30. lol...but haven't acted on that either.

__________________
SPJRNTGADL!

I have been invited to bridal showers and not the wedding. My nephew who lives in another state got married and his wife got almost right a way got pregant. They separated right before the baby was born. His "wife" had never met me but send a birth annoucement. Maybe she was trying to be nice but I thought she was just fishing for a gift.

I don't think this is right all the time. When my son was born of course I had split up with the father when I was 3 motnhs and didn't even know then I was pregnant, but before that we were together for 3 years and I didn't know too well part of his family, but to be nice until this day my child is 5 and I send x-mas cards with my son picture to them and I by no means want them to buy anything for my child because he has it all and some. I do it just to wish them Happy Holidays and when my son goes over there with his dad or if they ever see each other in the future when my son knows more they can't use the lame excuse of I had no idea you were so and so son wow look how big you are or your mom never did anything to help us stay in touch with you so we didn't know where you lived.

I hope I did not hurt your feelings. I live in another state from my nephew. She split with him. I know now that she was looking for a gift. My bil dead about a two years ago. She thought my nephew was going to inherit some money so she took him to court (by the way he does pay child support and she moved out of state so he does not get to see the child). In the end, what little money my bil had was used to pay medical bills so my nephew got nothing. You sound like you are trying to make things work.
This girl was different. She said she was pg so they got married. Then she said she lost it. Then she really got pg and she told my nephew to leave. It was not his decision. He wanted to stay with her and the baby.