Just wondering what everyone's thought is about this. Parents do this all the time at DD's pre-school. It is a circle-drive way in front of the school...maybe 20 paces max to the door and the teacher releases each child at the door to their caregiver. I don't have a problem with that, but I have seen kids in the car alone at gas stations, public schools, and stores. What age can a child be left in a car by himself? I know this is a sensitive subject, but I was wondering...what's your opinion?

I don't leave my youngest in the car for ANYTHING! My teenager I will, if I am running into a convenience store, and he has to lock the doors, and has a cell phone. I make him go in the grocery store or any other store you can't park RIGHT at the door.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

I have a teen, if I can get her out of the house, she will sit in the car---unless its 1) the mall or 2) going for something for just "her".

She refuses to go shopping and mostly wants to stay home...but I think her getting at least a little sunshine is better than none at all.

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SPJRNTGADL!

No and I can't remember how old my son was. He always wanted to come in with me.

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Laura
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Hey Laura...check your private messages please?

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SPJRNTGADL!

I co-worker and I were just having this discussion a few weeks ago. She was meeting her babysitter at a local gas station to pick up her kids after work because the babysitter had an evening class and had a really big test that evening that she was going to be in a hurry for. When she pulled up, the babysitter came walking out of the convience store part. She had left both of her kids (4 and 1) in the vehicle. We are from a very small area but both of us thought it was VERY wrong. Neither of us EVER leave our kids in the car. The worst I have ever done, was I pulled my vehicle into the garage, closed the door and ran into the house and went to the bathroom and then ran back out and got the kids out of the car seats. I felt guilty about that. Anyway......she ended up switching babysitters and her kids go someplace else!!!

Evidently I am out of the norm. But I leave mine in the car alone all the time. Now mind you they are 12 and 16. I have left them for the last few years alone in the car while I do a quick run in somewhere. I wouldn't leave small children alone in the car even if it was a quick trip.

Laura

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My boys are now 16 and just about 13. I leave them in the car when I can pry them out of the house to go shopping with me. They have a cell phone and know they have to lock the doors.

I did not ever leave them in the car when they were younger. I just started leaving them in the car together recently because just about 1-2 years ago, I had to worry they would beat each other to death. LOL They went through a phase where they would just fight all the time. I guess that is brothers. I can now leave them and not worry too much about strangers or them killing each other.

Darlene

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Sell crazy some place else, we are all stocked up here.

A close friend of mine had a police officer go up to her at the post office for leaving her kids in the car while she went in. SHe went in to drop a letter in the box that's it, 2 seconds and her windows were tinted, the kids were locked in.

I have been known to do it when in a hurry, it's 5 steps from the car, not even 20 and we live in a small town, so the post office is the size of a bathroom, you can see them the whole time and there are hardly ever people there even. But ever since that, I take them in with me, or I go when they are at school.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

Mine are 14, 12 and 6. I wouldnt leave any of them in the car. But then again I have been told I am very over protective

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~~~~**Maryann**~~~~

I just got a firm grip on reality....
Now I can strangle it

I would never leave a child in a car unattended... It only takes a second for something to go wrong..Just because a child is lock in the car it doesn't make them safe..

I read about a lady who went into a convince store just for a minute..She left her child in the car with the doors lock and the air condition running since it was hot outside The child got the car out of gear and the car rolled down a busy street..A good samartan saw what happenand he ran after the car opened the car door& jump in and stop the car before it hit a busy intersection

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Angels may not come when you call them, but they'll always be there when you need them.

Mine are too young to leave in the car (8, 6 and 6mo). I did once a few years ago, pulled right up in front of the gas station while I went in to pay (no pay-at-the-pump) but that's it. I'm more paranoid of one of them getting behind the wheel than of someone taking them. After living in Memphis for a year, I *still* lock my car to pump gas even if I'm not going inside... I do this with or without kids. Always amazes me to hear of people losing their cars because they left it running while they ran in to pay/grab stuff.

Hmm.. my mother used to leave my brother and I in the car while she ran into the bank and whatnot, while my father was in Korea, we were 8 and 2, roughly.

Mine are 13 & 10 - both girls and, no, I don't leave them in the car. They've never wanted to yet, either, so I haven't really had to face it.

I'm fairly leniant with a lot of things, but that one bothers me. I guess because you hear of so many being snatched. I'm just not ready to do that yet.

Lisa

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Ditto. I have a 14 yr old and a 6 yr old. Never left them in a car. I'm considered over protective as well.

Holly

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Forgiveness is love in its most noble form. -Anonymous

so then here is a spin off to those that think that 15 or 16 is too young to be left in a car...

what is the difference if the car is parked (no keys) and the kids are in it --knowing you will be back momentarily .... or.... you giving them the keys to drive wherever they want to drive to? (15 obviously with someone over 18 as licensed driver)...(16 having the license to drive)

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SPJRNTGADL!

yes i've done it before. especially before I had a debit card, and I was ill after having ds 2
now i don't have to.

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Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like. - Will Rogers

No way.. no how. Dh is a police officer and he's just come home with too many stories. In most cases things went wrong in a second.. I'm just not willing to risk it and wouldn't want that on my conscious were something to happen because I know better. It's not worth the momentary convenience to me.

I thought I saw 14+ up there somewhere. There are many states (including Michigan) that allow a drivers permit to 14 years old+...

so that is the basis then of my question.

I swear I saw somewhere where they said either 14 or 15 was too young.

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SPJRNTGADL!

My boys are 16, 12 and almost 9. I have obviously left the 16 year old (he drives his own car now). I believe I started leaving him in the car at around age 12. I figure if he is old enough to take a baby sitting job, he is old enough to sit in the car while I run into the store. Now with my 12 year old I have left him while dropping off videos, library books or to pay for gas. My 9 year old still too young.

I also don't like to leave all three of them together even if my oldest is bigger than me...they fight too much!

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#3 Gone To Race In A Better Place...

I am really intrigued by those that won't leave a kid that is basically of DRIVING age in the car alone! Are you going to let them drive?

The only time I leave mine (almost 11, almost 9, almost 8 and 6) in the car is when we drop off my 2nd oldest at gymnastics. It is in a very obscure location...the only people that would be there are also going to the gym...and leaving their siblings in the car too! It is about ten steps away and the car is always in eye sight.

Once I ran in to pay for gas because I was on the way home from the MD with one with strep, one puker...couldn't take them in. I felt very uncomfortable about it though.

My 14 year old tells me daily that in 2 years he can drive and every day I tell him "the state may say you can drive at 16 but the laws of Mom say NO, not until I think you are ready" There was a bad accident near me not too long ago where 2 young kids (17 and 18) were killed not too far from the apt complex they lived in (the accident occured maybe 50 feet before they would have turned to go home) and the night after the accident I happend to be driving by and saw two cops holding a woman up who I was assuming was the mother of one of the boys cause all she was yelling was "my baby" after witnessing that i don't think I will ever be ready for my kids to drive.

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~~~~**Maryann**~~~~

I just got a firm grip on reality....
Now I can strangle it

I have kids ranging in ages 12 to 3 years old, I only leave them in the car when I pick siblings at school, and while it's technically leaving them in the car, I am basically just standing outside the vehicle. I get very nervous about them being in the car, when I'm not there....I remember when getting gas used to be a long drawn out affair (before pay at the pump got popular) get the kids out of carseats, go in pay, then get them all buckled back in carseats, but I preffered that to the paranoia of something happening to the kids....My 12 year old keeps telling me I need to loosen up a little, but I'm not quite ready for that......

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"You can never really pay back. You can only pay forward."

Wayne Woodrow “Woody” Hayes

O-H-I-O

Just my opinion, but I personally believe that it is more dangerous to fail to prepare teenagers and pre-teenagers for the real world - to make choices, weigh risks, function independently, drive a car, etc - than the what-is-really-very-small risk of them being kidnapped from a parked car by a stranger /pedophile or them driving away in your car.

However, it is not my goal to have my children home with me long term, while I enjoy their company and am afraid of an empty feeling when they are gone, I will feel that I failed at my parenting job if I don't raise them to take charge of their own lives and become functional adults.

cj/

This is how I feel too.

Somehow at some point, parent(s) really need to decide to slowly loosen the apron strings. It would be devastating to have the kids reach 17 or 18 years old as graduating high school seniors ready to leap into the world without ever having any practice with being on their own.

You don't have to change the way that you do things overnight, but slowly build their independence... minutes at a time and then hours at a time.

It would be a tragedy not to.

I also think that it is a tragedy when parents live life with so many fears. It is one reason why I choose not to read/watch the local news. But that is another subject!

I will not leave the kids in the car anywhere (but in a locked car in the garage while I run in the house to get something we forgot, car is off). Dd is almost 7 but lacks impulse control. Ds is a baby so no way there.

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I've never lied to you. I've always told you some version the of truth.

I let Naysa in the car sometimes when I drop Eryn off at preschool. It's at a church and I pull right up beside the door. I always lock the car, too. I'm in and out in a matter of minutes. I don't like to do it, but sometimes it's easier for everyone if I do. Other mothers there leave their toddlers in the cars with them running.

I've let all three of them (13, almost 5 and 9 1/2 months are their ages) in the car to run in to the vets office to get cat food or whoopie pies from the Amish and Mennonite stores. Neither place is busy and is not near the main road.

I'd never leave the younger two in the car at walmart or any other store like that.

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Amy
Mom to Lauren, Eryn, Naysa
and announcing......
Gavin Michael Chase, 9 lbs 10 ozs
and 21 3/4 inches long on 10/13/09!

Story in the paper today:

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories...MPLATE=DEFAULT

After reading that story and some of these posts, it makes me rethink leaving the baby and middle one even for a minute. My 13 year old wanted to wait in the car w/Naysa while I ran in to Sheetz tonight, but I made her come in. I needed her to hold the stuff while I lugged the baby around.

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Amy
Mom to Lauren, Eryn, Naysa
and announcing......
Gavin Michael Chase, 9 lbs 10 ozs
and 21 3/4 inches long on 10/13/09!

You know, I just thought of another story, a woman put her kid (baby?) in the van and went to return the shopping cart to a corral and in that time someone was taking her kid! It was caught on camera in the store's parking lot, I don't remember what else happened, whether they got away with or without the kid or what. When I'm out shopping with my baby I put the stuff in the trunk, then take her to return the cart and carry her back. If I need to put her in the car before loading the trunk (bad weather) I lock it up tight and watch and I'm quick.

My dad left me and my 9 siblings in the car while he shopped Bob's food warehouse ALL THE TIME, and I turned out OK. I had to be good or I wouldn't get to pick my favorite out of the tray of soup....mmmm chili beef.