HI Everyone
A friend of mine and I were talking at lunch about something she experienced this weekend and she asked me for advice and I am at a loss as to what to say so I figuered I'd ask you all for some advice cause you are all great and I'd pass it on to her

A little background, she has been with her BF for almost a year and a half, they are planning on moving in together real soon because right now he has been going to her place alot because he lives with an aunt of his. Everything seemed great between them (to me anyways)

Over the weekend, he finally took her home to meet his aunt and sister. Well during that visit she found out (from his aunt and then later on by seeing him do it) that he is into marijuana. (smoking and selling) She said on the way home he had her stop by a "friends" so he can pick up a dvd for them to watch back at her place so she took him but said she felt uneasy after seeing some of the people hanging out outside of this "friend's house" so she waited in the car then when he came out a little package fell out of his pocket . When she questioned him, he said "its only pot its not that bad" She keeps telling me that she feels like she should leave him but at the same time she doesnt want to.

I told her to tell him she needs time to think this through. I personally wouldnt stay with someone who does drugs. So what would you do?

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~~~~**Maryann**~~~~

I just got a firm grip on reality....
Now I can strangle it

Just my opinion but I wouldn't move in with him if he is a dealer...I can see no good coming of that.

I think it is not simply an issue of the pot/drugs, but rather that he hasn't been open and honest about his lifestyle, and that would be a deal-breaker for me. The dealing would also not be in my comfort zone. Wishing her luck. cj/

You didn't mention your friend's age, but it appears that she may be young as she is asking your advice on whether to stay with him or not. There is nothing but trouble ahead if she stays with him.
This guy must not think much of her if he is willing to bring her with him on a drug deal. If he were caught, it's possible she could have been arrested too. A real gem of a guy. He needs to find a druggie girlfriend who understands and participates in his lifestyle.

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I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

I'm sorry I should have mentioned she is 29, we work together.

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~~~~**Maryann**~~~~

I just got a firm grip on reality....
Now I can strangle it

I would be worried about being pulled over while in the car with this person. This guy could decide to slip the bag of pot in between the seats and then claim that it isnt his.

I would run from this relationship.

Darlene

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Sell crazy some place else, we are all stocked up here.

If he has hid this from her for a year and a half and this is the first time she has met his family........kind of makes you wonder what else he has been hiding from her!!!!! This isn't sounding like the best relationship to me.

Tell her to turn the other way and run. Fast.

Personally me, I don't even know why she is asking ANYONE if she should stay or leave. She already know its wrong to buy, use and sell drugs of any kind. She already knows she feels uneasy at the thought she might be with him if he gets busted, deal gone bad or any number of things. PLUS, She isn't a teenager, young adult, she's well old enough to know she needs to leave him. I wonder what she would do if you were to say to her STAY GIRL, he's good for you ? would she be willing to risk going to jail ? Don't know about any laws where you live , but in Alabama, all she has to do is be with him. you are guilty by association to the person doing the crime and by that she's just as guilty as he is under the eyes of the law.. PLUS, If eh was to *umm* drop a bag under her seat if she was stopped by the police, BYE BYE CAR. And depending on how much, She could be charged with dealing or trafficking.
Does she has kids? Hope not, Because she would also run the risk of losing them for being in a mess as this is.
Sorry there's not enough SEX, MONEY, LOVE, What ever in the WORLD that would make me want to be with a person that does or sells drugs.
Don't mean for this post to come off as being a smart *ss, But your friend already knows what she needs to do, what she is looking for is SOMEONE to tell her to stay or justified his doings so she can stay with him and not feel guilty about doing it.

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MyCoupons Is #1 for Holiday Shopping

I agree before she ends up having children by him tell her to run and run fast. If she has been with him for 1.5 yrs and hasn't been honest with her and she has just met the family this doesn't sound like a great relationship.

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SAHM of Bailey 12, Tyler 10 , Emily Ann 6, and Ryan Matthew 4 yrs old.

I agree run as fast as you can. Her life will never be the way she wants it to be, he'll use all there money on drugs, most likely get her messed up on them and if they have kids who knows what would happen. Could end up in jail. Run and find a good man.

I agree with the rest--this is not a life she wants to get tangled up with, and the trust issue is now up--he didn't trust her enough to even bring it up? Sounds like he knows it's wrong too.

Other than that... would she want "those" people in front of her house, or worse? What if he stiffed someone and they chose to do a drive by? What if he got caught on a urinalysis at work and lost his job?

There are too many what-ifs before marriage...can you imagine the what-ifs if they got married?

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SPJRNTGADL!

If I was her I would not move in with this guy...If they ever had a drug bust at their house guess who is going to get arrested with him .

this guy spells bad news either way you look at it ...I highly doubt t he will stop dealing because I'm sure he is racking in the money..makes me wonder what other drug habits he has? You would think he could afford a place of his own

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Angels may not come when you call them, but they'll always be there when you need them.

that is true==if he is selling, why is he living with his aunt? and if he isn't selling, well, that's why he is living with his aunt--he has spent his money on drugs.

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SPJRNTGADL!

It's hard to believe that your friend has been with this guy for over a year and did not know he smoked pot, those signs are pretty easy to spot...smell, eyes, attention span etc..

Christine

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TLJ ~ Women United in Spirit

There are lots of people that sell relatively small amounts of marijuana and aren't getting rich off of it. Usually just do it to pay for their own stuff and be a source for friends, etc.... Well, at least that was the case many moons ago.

cj/

This is a no-brainer.

I don't understand why there would even be a question -- the guy is a DRUG DEALER

I'd ask your friend if this boyfriend is worth going to jail for. If the answer is no, then she needs to leave him 'cuz jail is where she'll be headed if she stays with him.

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Jesus SAVES by shopping smartly and using double coupons!

She isn't bright enough to know the answer herself and yet holds down a job?
Hope she doesn't have too much responsibility on the job!
Tell her to lose the bum as fast as she can !!!!!

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Square dancing is friendship set to music!

Very surprised to hear she is 29---she should be much more savvy than she appears to be. However, I agree with all the others--she already KNOWS she needs to get out of this relationship. If she stays, she is condoning all of his actions. If they were to move in together, he will probably be bringing his "deals" and dealers into his house--something he is probably unable to do living at his aunt's house. Unless her desire is to get caught up in that lifestyle herself, she needs to keep out of it from the get go. I know she doesn't want to face the fact that she has invested 1-1/2 years into this only to let it all go, but I am sure the longer she stays, the harder it will be for her to be able to stand up and say NO to his actions. Be a good friend and tell it to her straight (no pun intended!)

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"Well-Behaved Women SELDOM make history."Laurel Thatcher Ulrich


"Yesterday is but a vision, and tomorrow is only a dream. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a dream of hope." Anonymous

"Your candle does not lose it's light by lighting another candle" Generosity

Have the courage to be yourself.

Ditch the dude!!! He will only bring her down and make her feel worse in a matter of time. He is a liar and will most likely always be this way. How does she know its just pot?? This isnt the only thing he has hid, I would bet money on it!