DS told me this morning that he didn't want to go to school anymore, he wants to stay home wihth me.

It was really cute, but I had no idea what to say in response? I asked him why and he said he didn't like school, he wanted to stay home and bake cookies?

Things have been busy lately with baseball and everything and we have been trying to get them in bed early, but I think he's tired with a touch of spring fever. What should I say? I try to make school sound like fun, and some days he really wants to go (the days he has gym), but what sort of encouragement can I use for the other days?

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

since we homeschool, the no-brainer answer is -- fine...don't do any work today, just remember, whatever you don't finish today you WILL finish tomorrow on top of your other work.


But since your child is obviously not homeschooled you can reply to him (the next time he asks) that he should be in school because his teachers are nice...and that if you were the teacher he would have to work twice as hard because you know he is capable.

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SPJRNTGADL!

That is sweet!

You can start counting down to summer by having him put x's on the calendar each day.

It is hard for all of them these last few weeks but it will be here before he knows it!

I just tell mine that I don't want to go to work either, but I don't have a choice and neither do they. It's the law that they have to go, and we don't break the law. Probably over simplistic, but I honestly don't have time for the drama in the mornings & I'm not much of a morning person anyway. That's always when this issue comes up for me.

Honestly though, with my kids I think they just want to play and not work. It sounds like your little one may just need a little extra mommy time.

I say if you don't have fever or your not throwing up, your going to school. LOL

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Danilyn I'm glad I am not the only world's meanest mommy (as told to me by the then 9 year old son). Arthur hated school and would develop "tummy aches" to stay home. That ended real quick with the no fever no tossing your cookies get on the bus.

Do you have time to make cookies after dinner?

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Laura
Please visit my blog
http://mylifeinlaurasworld.blogspot.com/

Flame away...



Lauren is very smart and can understand reasoning and consequences. One day we pulled up to McDonald's and an employee was washing the windows. She said, "Mommy, why does that man have to work outside?" I told her it was because he didn't go to school.

From that day on, she understood that in order to get a good job indoors, education is important.

I had an appointment a few weeks ago that would have had me late picking her up from school, so I kept her home. All day she worried that she was going to have to work outside.

Anytime we pass construction workers or landscapers, she tells Anthony " See, Anthony, you have to go to school, so you don't have to work outside!"

I understand this may seem harsh to some, but let's face facts, not too many people with Master's degrees are pulling weeds.

I tell my son the same thing. I have one that I have to force to stay home when he is sick and another that I have to pry out of the bed every morning. He is finally getting it at 12 years old. Now he will say..

"Do I have to go to school?" I will tell him yes and then he tells me that he had to at least give it a try because it might have been the day that I tell him he can stay home.


Darlene

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Sell crazy some place else, we are all stocked up here.

If they are not sick I say "Have a good day at school, see you this afternoon!"

"going to school is the law" pretty much and then end of discussion. if you let it work once, they'll only try harder next time (i should know, i managed to get nearly a month off in third graded! lol)

dto days arent a bad idea though, as long as the limit is finite (one or two) and once exhausted, there is no bargaining for more.

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rhapsody112@gmail.com

My DH wanted to chime in on this one:

How in the world can you equate working outside with a lack of education? Do you truly think that this is reflective of how the world really works? Not everyone can be an academic; someone has to actually do something useful and productive. Teaching your child to belittle those who work with their hands, or do the jobs that you do not want to do, or see being done, only strengthens and reinforces the lines that already divide our culture. Since she is so smart, why not tell her that there are many types of jobs, and that some require different types of learning? Strengthen her own values in going to school, but please don't do this at the expense of someone who might be working to support their family.
By the way, I have a Master's Degree, and I still pull the weeds in my yard and take out the trash. I was able to go to college and have some success because my Father, who did not go to college, was not afraid to get his hands dirty and provide for his family. I wonder how many people looked down on him?

Carrie
Actually, I will probably get flamed for supporting you. I think this is really actually a good idea. Most companies have a personal day that an employee can use. A lot of people use this for their birthday or whatever. I think that the way you set this up, making sure that there are no tests that day and that they have already completed their homework, that is actually very responsible. Also, if you call the school and advise that you child is taking a sick day, the school system will NOT be docked for the student missing the day. And, it IS only one day out of the year. Neither of my kids have missed a day of school for the last two years....though my DD would have liked a day or so off. Perhaps I would even consider using this for my own two.

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"Well-Behaved Women SELDOM make history."Laurel Thatcher Ulrich


"Yesterday is but a vision, and tomorrow is only a dream. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a dream of hope." Anonymous

"Your candle does not lose it's light by lighting another candle" Generosity

Have the courage to be yourself.

ITA!! My BIL has a degree and he is a landscaper?! That is a terrible thing to teach a child IMO. How do you know what the guy at McDonalds's situation is? And just because someone doesn't have a degree doesn't make them any less of a person than you? Or dumber? ANd those comstruction workers could be engineers, surveryors or architects, how can you tell from looking at them?



ANYWAY, back to my original problem! I agree that he needs more mommy time, this baseball is throwing our schedule all off. I cuddled him before bed tonight and maybe will try to do something special tomorrow when he gets home ( maybe bake cookies ).

If he says he's sick, I usually tell him to go to school and then let the nurse check him (if he has no fever or any symptoms of course, wouldn't want him throwing up on the teacher, LOL). Usually that is good enough and he has never gone to the nurse that I know of, he is just playing me to see if I'll fall for it.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

Love your idea too! I was waiting for both kids to be in school full time to start doing this, because we don't get much quality time alone with each of them home at the same time. KWIM?

I better go to bed, I'm confusing myself.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

Carrie- I don't believe it-I'm going to agree with you!!! lol lol lol One day a year is not that big of a deal . How many adults do we know who take a "mental health" day off work once a year? Kids need breaks too and the times you need it may not be the time the school calendar says so. ANd your plan seems great! If it works for you and your family then keep it going!!!!

Well, if you get flamed for it then I will too. I also do this. This year neither of my boys have asked for the day off and neither of them has missed a day of school yet either.

When they do ask for the one day off we call it a mental health holiday.


Darlene

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Sell crazy some place else, we are all stocked up here.

I agree about sometimes a kid can stay home (esp if they have their work done & no tests etc).

I personally need a break sometimes (although I am really bad about not taking any days off).

I call them "mental health days"

LOL! I call them mental health days too! The twins are juniors in HS, and they are allowed an occasional MHD as long as their grades are A's & B's, and no zeros for missing work (gotta love online gradebooks!)

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This space for rent

I beg you to show me where I stated that people without degrees are less than me? I sincerely apologize if I said that ( but I know I didn't.) As for dumber? Dumb is as dumb does. Just because someone didn't go to college does not make them dumb, and again, I never implied that.

I do not consider myself above people who didn't go to college. I was blessed with a family that values education above all else. I have a JD degree., yet here I sit on a message board and doing laundry and changing diapers all day.

My children can be anything they want to be. If my daughter wants to be a stripper, that's fine with me, but she's going to be a stripper with a college degree. Education is not optional, it's mandatory. In my family anyway.

My oldest, also a Lauren , is in 7th grade. She's in the top section and is really smart. She's been reading on a college level for years. Anyway, she's totally slacking right now. She FAILED home-ec. She didn't think she needed it since she "wasn't going to be a stay at home mom" like me. We've told her she'll be working at McDonald's if she doesn't straighten herself out and STOP failing math, English, etc. She doesn't like the kids in her section so she's trying to get out of it by screwing up her grades.

And before the flames come: let's face it, working at McDonald's for minimum wage is NOT the best way to "support" yourself. We do NOT want her to waster her potential. She can do anything she wants, if she applies herself.

I have an Associate degree, which I'm not using right now. I actually dropped out of high school in my junior year, but was able to get a GED and get accepted at a business school. I graduated with honors, too. I do NOT want my daughter to make the same mistakes I made.

As far as her missing school, she doesn't miss unless she's throwing up. She's played me too many times w/being "sick" and unless she's puking, she's going to school.

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Amy
Mom to Lauren, Eryn, Naysa
and announcing......
Gavin Michael Chase, 9 lbs 10 ozs
and 21 3/4 inches long on 10/13/09!

My son came home early yesterday because of a stomach ache.

I let him sleep until he woke up on his own today. My thought being that if he gets to school late, whoopdedoo, his health is more important.

He got up on his own, ate breakfast, but still tried to stay home. I told him basically "tough noogies" and that he WAS going to school.

Today is PE day - track - and he hates running. I told him that I hated it too, but I managed to get through it, and he will too. He might not enjoy it, but it is only a half hour, and it will soon be over.

I thought, just for a moment, about letting him have a mental health day. But it is so close to the end of school, and he just wanted to get out of PE.

He always gets a bit of anxiety at the end of the year with school ending. The school is used to it, as am I.

You have to agree though that in your original post you implied that people who work outdoors are somehow beneath you... What I took away from your post was that your were telling your daughter in whatever way that if she didn't go to school she'll wind up like the losers that work at mcdonalds or on street/landscaping crews. I want my kids to go to college too, but it is equally as important to me that they value every person regardless of race, creed, or occupation. It's the outside grunt workers that really and truly keep society in order sometimes.

No you didn't say that, you're right, but I was wondering if you think that and it came out in my typing?

Why put ANY other person down? No matter what they do for a living? As long as someone is happy who cares what company their paycheck comes from? Maybe the guy was retired and working for the fun of working?

My mom's 3rd husband had a PHd. and was a practicing Psychotherapist and he had a night job working in a deli, but could you tell from looking at him, or course not.

My point in replying was that no person should be put down and made fun of in especially in front of your children. What is that teaching them? Education is wonderful and I am not saying it's not, but teach them that all people should be respected and not looked down upon no matter what their profession.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

Again, I think tone is hard to convey in type. In no way am I putting people "blue collar" workers down, or making fun of them. If I was making fun of them, I'd be saying " Look, Lauren, that moron cleans windows at McDonald's because he's stupid and smelly!"

I am simply teaching my children that the world is full of opportunties. Some people are able, and choose to go to college and get "white collar" jobs, while other either are not afforded, or choose not to educate themselves beyond high school.

In reality, the initials you have behind your name, whether they be JD, MD, DDS or day laborer do not determine the type of person you are inside, and I teach my children such.

I also teach them the world is a harsh place and that at the end of the day, not having a good solid education is a detriment.

We will have to respectfully agree to disagree on this subject.

Back to the original question!!!

It is a hard time of the year. The weather is finally getting nice, it is light out longer, kids just want to be kids at this point. I relax bedtime a little this time of the year...usually they are in bed at 7:00 and can read as long as they want. Now we are closer to eight. But, they are tired from the extra exercise so go to sleep around the same time. They just don't realize it!! I just remind them that going to school is their job, but that it is almost over for the summer. We chat about what we'll do together when school is out. If need be I remind them that it is the law that they attend school, whether it be at school or at home.

Have you asked him if someone at school is "bothering" him??? It may be that, or like you said, he is really tired from the baseball. I'd sit and have a chat with him, maybe take him for an ice cream, just you and him, and chat with him. I know that works with my kids.

HTH.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

This is a touchy area here, and I have to give my opinion on it. I see how the post by CiCi could have been taken this way. I also see how it is difficult to convey what you really mean by typing it, and not actually speaking it. Not sure how it was truly intended, but, I am guilty of saying to my kids "well, don't get a good education, and you'll be working at McDonalds" and, of course I didn't mean in any type of managerial or Corporate position. As a young kid, having a job like this is great. We need lower wage workers, IMO, it keeps prices down. We also need highly educated people. Some people just don't WANT to go to college, or as stated earlier, can't. When I tell DS he better get a good education or he'll be working at McDonald's, I mean to imply to him that he will not be able to support himself or a family, and enjoy life, making a low wage. We don't look down on people who work for McDonalds or BK, or anything like that. I even wave to the garbage people, and give them cold drinks in the Summer. I'm GLAD they do what they do, otherwise we'd be in a real mess...PUN intended.

BTW, DS tells me all the time, " I can't wait to get a job at Burger King...I'll be eating at a discount ". I want my kids to be happy in what they do, wether they go to college or not. But, finishing High School is mandatory, and not an option, that much is for sure!!!

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

lol I really am a caring and reasonable person even if I didn't seem like it at the time!! Keep on rocking!

Nobody questioned the fact that CiCi kept her child home from school because she had an appointment? Did I miss something? What's the rationale behind that?

I tell my 9YO that he still has to get up and get dressed because we'll be heading out early so he can fill out a job application at McDonald's.

My usual response is school is their job, their responsibility and that's the end of it. Not open to discussion. Education is very important in our home. My kids know this, and they are great students. However, I do not make myself crazy if someone is having a lousy time, feeling not quite right but not sick enough for the doctor, etc. There is always a day each year with each child when I let them just sleep through, and hang out. I don't plan it, I just use my judgment as to when they most need the extra rest, extra attention, and I am grateful to be at home and able to do this.

As to the blue collar/white collar debate that's raging, FWIW I just tell my kids that their degrees will offer them the gift of choice. The freedom of choice. Want to be a landscaper? Knock your socks off. Want to be a doctor? Go for it. ALL the doors are open when you have an education.

How about a bad job indoors?

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This space for rent

To defend my "peeps" some of my very best friend including my very best friend works at McDonald's! The managerial positions pay VERY well! My best friend has the potential to make $18k in BONUSES this year (and so far has grossed $9K as the first two quarters were nice to her) Their base rate is also very nice! They are also paying her to go to Vegas this year for a week including meals and one really nice meal with all the big-wigs of the Corporation. They are also paying her for a convention near Cedar Pointe so they are stopping there on the way back and the company is paying for her ticket and her food at the park as well as her stay during the conference. She also gets a matched 401K, a stock option, and handsome benefits. Another thing they get is after 5 years of upper management (store manager or higher) they get a company car, a three month paid vacation they have to take all at once (once every five years of continued service) and three weeks of vacation they can spread around the year.
Another benefit of the McDonald's management system is paid vacations (for lower level managers), benefits, 401K, and nice extras such as employee appreciation dinners with spouses/guests, and bonuses.
Those "window washers" make upwards of $13 per hour...which, in my opinion, isn't too shabby for someone who most likely doesn't have a degree. Those people you see washing the windows are maintenence and can usually make from $10 per hour to start out up to $15 capped. The head maintenence people (ones who are not store specific) make a REALLY nice salary (the ones I know make more than $40K per year) and some educated people don't even make that! (teachers!).
One more thing about McD's...people who are crew (or the peon's you refer to when you belittle them to your kids) have every opportunity to join the management team.

Back to the original question...if your kid doesn't want to go to school, tell him if he doesn't even McDonald's won't hire him!!

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