That sounds so harsh, and it is not meant to be harsh, but my neighbors have two 3 yr old grandkids that have been coming over to our house several times a day (brother & sister less than 9 months apart....I'm sure there's a good story there). They even come when my kids are in school asking for my youngest, who will be 9 yrs old in September (note the 5+ yrs age difference). Yesterday, after I told him that none of the kids are home, he asked to play with our dog. I am starting to think that this is going to be one, long summer.

Like I said, these are the grandkids, but they are there about 90% of the time, so basically they live with the grandparents. The parents are kind of deadbeats, IMO, to be leaving their kids there so much, but it must be easier to deal with them if you don't see them.

So, I'm thinking that I need to nip something in the bud here. Thinking a little talk with grandpa might be in order, but of course want to be neighborly.

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I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

I would talk with the grandparents and tell them that you do not want their grandkids over at your house. I would state that safety would be an issue since 3 year olds play with different toys and need different supervision when playing than your kids do. You could also say that since your kids are 5+ years older than their grandkids, they don't really want to play with them but you wanted to tell the grandparents instead of hurting the kids feelings directly.

Good luck. I can't imagine a grandparent letting 3 year olds roam the neighborhood for playmates???

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

I feel for you. I have no advice.. I could use some, too!

We have an 11 yr old NDN who is ALWAYS coming over to play with my kids. 5 & 2!

Thing is, she uses my kids as an excuse, but I think she just likes to hang here, as she really doesn't PLAY with my kids, she hangs with me. HEr mom works from home, so is always working, and her dad works until 7pm. DH and I are relatively young, and still cool to her, I guess.

She will stand next to me as I open the mail, or lean on the computer desk when I go to the computer. YEsterday she OPENED my kitchen drawer and pulled out a magazine! ( It was DH's Maxim- so a bit risque)

I have noticed now that she sends my daughter to be her "voice" Like I heard her talking to my DD in a whisper, then DD came and asked " Can Kerry stay for dinner?" When I said ok, she ran back to Kerry and said " My mom said yes!"

I try and suggest they go play or color, but this girl just ends up watching me wash dishes, fold laundry or go online.

Sorry to Hijack your thread, but I am IN THE SAME BOAT! I do not know what to do!

Crittles- Talk to the Grandpa. Maybe you can even set up a time once a week that your kids will play with the 3 yr olds. Set ground rules now or you will be dealing w/ those 3 yr olds all summer and you don't want to have to worry about the safety of those kids.

CiCi- turn her into a Mother's helper. Have her fold laundry. Have her play teacher with your kids.

My next door neighbors are great. The girl is 11 and my boys are in "love' with her. She comes over several days a week. She takes them outside and plays and plays. I love having her come over as it gives me time to get stuff done.

They live right next door so it's very convenient for them to come over. I have a suspicion that grandpa is telling them to come over, as he probably wants them out of his hair. He even asked my daughter to watch them while he went in the house. I can see her being taken advantage of, so I told her to come up with an excuse next time. Problem is, once my son has started to play with them a little, they started coming over A LOT, and are not going to go with a once a week playdate. The little boy has three of those huge battery operated jeep/trucks, and of course, this is the attraction for my son. Otherwise, they wouldn't have anything in common.

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I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

we had kinda the same problem but our daughter is 21 and the neighbors kid who has the hots for her is 14 and ever time she was home from college, here he came. sometimes he was sitting on the porch on friday evenings when i got home from work to see if she was coming home that weekend. drove us nuts and she tried her best to explaine that she wasnt interested in him and he needed to find someone closer to his age but he didnt listen. . what finally stopped him was her boyfriend showing up while he was here and he finally got the message. you dont want to hurt their feelings since they are your neighbors but geeez!

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crittles: talk to the grandparents. tell them that there is too much of an age difference between your kids and the little ones, and the toys that your children have are not made for 3 year olds! Also, let them know that it is not appropriate for your children to watch their grandchildren if only for a second. I would definitely say something sooner rather than later, because you are right...if you don't stop it now, it will only get worse and it's gonna be a long, LONG summer!

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SPJRNTGADL!

Maybe I am becoming a grouchy old woman, I will be 40 next month or I just stopped putting up with stupid crap but why do people let their small children lose? My neighbor sends her 9 year old over with the 3 year old, to play with my girls, 9 & 11. I am like no way am I babysitting the 3 year old, just not doing it. I send them home and if my girls want to play they go over there. But I also make RULES for them to follow, I really don't like the 9 or the 3 year too much(they were raised by a nanny and it shows) so I make it very unpleasant to be at my house and play. They other day they wanted to go swimming in my pool. I told them that I was not going to let the 3 year swim here. I am not going to be responsible for the 3 year old in my pool. I don't care if she can swim. I don't care if you think I am mean, because I am!


Cici, I also had a 10's, yes more than one came, come over to my house and "play" with my girls when they were little. They just liked to play with my girls things, they were bored but it was short lived and they out grew me and my kids! Cici, I would have the girl help me with things around the house. I bet she would stop bye less.

Once in a while, one neighbor girl will come over and come inside (usually it's just to go in the back yard, there is nothing out there to play with though). When they're inside I usually just ask things like... wouldn't you rather be outside... does your mom know where you are.. etc. Very creepy to be nursing your baby and a neighbor kid wanting to look at or touch her

I had the same problem last summer but thank goodness the children moved away finally. Our neighbors had a 13yr old boy, a 12yr old girl, and a 4yr old girl who were constantly at my house and eating my food. They would come in and go straight for the pantry and fridge. At first I didn't want to be mean because the father was a loser and would blow all their money and the mother didn't work but after awhile it started getting really old. I tried dropping hints to the mother about them eating everything I had but she would just laugh about so finally I pulled my DD into another room and said loudly enough for them all to hear that I was no longer going to feed all the neighbors kids so she needed to stop bringing them up here. They got the message but it also lead to other problems. The older girl started picking on my child and making up stories on her which started a war between us all. I went outside one day and the boy was shooting a BB gun towards our house and saying he was going to kill our cat. I told him if he shot my cat I'd have the cops at his house so fast he wouldn't know what hit him so he went and told daddy on me. I told his dad to bring it on but if one of my pets come up missing he'd be the first one I'd come after. They left me alone after that incident though.
The 4yr old used to watch for us to come home even when my DD wasn't with us and coming running up as soon as we got out of the car. It got to the point that we would run to the house and lock the doors and not not answer it. We couldn't go outside on weekends because as soon as she would see us she would come up. It was a nightmare but the mother and father split up and all the kids moved when the mother did.
It's pretty peaceful up here now with the exception of our redneck neighbor who parties all the time.
Good luck to you.

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"Let me watch my children grow to see what they become
Lord don't let that cold wind blow til I'm too old to die young'

I have a nieghbor that my doughter plays with she is so braty

I guess I look at this kind of thing as: If all the kids are playing at my house, at least I know where my children are, who they are hanging around with and what they are doing.

It can be a pain when you have 5-6 boys, plus your own in the backyard and they are all hungry/thirsty, but you know? I prefer being known as the mom who makes the "best" Lemonaide (Thank you, CountryTime!! LOL) or who always has a snack for the kids. While I know it's not the case with any of our neighbor kids--just think if your home is the only "normal" place the kids know? The only place that they are shown kindness and compassion? A place that they feel comfortable in?

It is irritating and frustrating to think that some parents don't really care or pay attention to where their children are--but at least if they are with me/at my house, I know for a little while that those kids are safe and happy.

That said--what the OP describes is a HUGE age difference and not a good thing. I'd just talk to the Grandparents and explain that the 9 y/o doesn't want to hurt the little kids' feelings, but he/she is not comfortable playing with them as they have different interests....

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"