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| The Cafe - 'TC' So? Your daughter wants her belly pierced? Your cat keeps using the couch as a litter box? Your husband taped the Hockey game over your wedding video? Your neighbor has a gnome collection and it makes you mad? Pour yourself a cup of coffee and come on in to The Café! Talk amongst yourselves...discuss, question, reply, or respond to many subjects! |
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Cuthie - I'm beginning to think that you and I are on the same wavelength! It doesn't even have to be a complete no-show....it really breaks their heart when a very small number of people that they wanted to have come show up.....this one I know from first-hand experience. ![]() cj/ |
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cj, I agree... We are a couple of old softies! ![]() I just really can't stand the thought of a disappointed child. Children are too young to have to learn about this emotion. My son still talks about this and it happened years ago. We think through each and every invitation for a party that he is invited to. If we have something else going on and it is really hard for us to make a decision, I call the parents of the birthday child and really make an effort to figure out how to handle the situation. I've even been known to get my son on the phone and discuss it with the other child. I really hope that very few reply that their child has been in this situation. Last edited by Cuthie; 05-10-2007 at 10:23 AM. |
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We had one two years ago when only two showed...we knew that ahead of time though so she was prepared. Summer Birthdays are hard because everyone is busy, on vacation, etc. Thankfully we have four kids! Adding two more actually made a fabulous little party! It would be a terrible thing though! |
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It happened this year to DD who turned 16. We had the party at her favorite restaurant, she invited all her friends (and their siblings--which we said she could do), and no one except for family and my DH's boss' family came. The worst part was...we paid for the whole meal for everyone, including desserts and beverages (Italian restaurant)...with just the 10 people that were there, the bill was over $400. We told everyone to not get presents, to just come to dinner and ... none of her friends were there. It is life changing for the kids, ITA!! Even worse than her friends that didn't show up...NONE of my siblings even acknowledged her birthday!! Not my 2 sisters or my brother! (yet they want their kids acknowledged? I don't think so!)
__________________ SPJRNTGADL! ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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| BTDT NEVER AGAIN !!!!!!!!!!!!I have held 2 parties for the last 4 children at home. The 1st was for my now 11 YO when she was 8, We held it at Mc Donald's, I had to PREPAID for the invites, which came to 15 kids @ 3.50 each Total cost 52.50 PLUS the cake they give you and plates, eating wear, hats ect ect, total party there cost us 96.xx Out of the 15 invites ( BTW ALL OF THEM RSVP ) ONLY 3 showed up I wasn't allowed to get any money back for the non-showing kids I WAS PO'ED to say the least. My DD cried the whole time saying noone liked/loved her ..Just last month I held my DS Age 8 a BDP and once again NOONE showed, however, nothing lost on that one as the kids found other kids at the park to invite and had a GRAND TIME , Plus the BBQ is something we do each year on each BD. So it would have taken placed no matter what.I dont do parties for the kids after that MC all but crushed my DD.. I said then never again would one of my kids feel like this on their special day. I'm SS this happen to yours. I have been there done that, it's not worth it to see them so hurt over a day that should be special and fun. Hugs to yours
__________________ MyCoupons Is #1 for Holiday Shopping |
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My dd had a girl in her class who had a July 4th birthday. Every year the mother invited kids for her party ON the 4th of July. She could not understand why nobody ever came. That year she changed it to sometime in June before school was out. Unfortunatly it was the same day as an other child in her class . Someone let this mother know very early that the other party was already on that day but she didn't change hers. I think she may have invited most of the class and only 3 children plus an extra my son showed up. We were only going to stay an hour so we could make both parties but ended up staying a little longer because I felt bad. The child though was happy because it was the first time other children had shown up.
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I had invitations made for this event which read "Sweet 16 Birthday Dinner @ Marvasso's Italian Restaurant, Westland, MI" right at the top. Invitations were elongated cards (like oversized bookmarks) and were on heavy glossy white cardstock with their own mailing envelopes. I also had matching Thank You notes made. So when none of her friends showed up, I went to RC and asked for a card shower---I never told her that I did that, and when the cards started coming in she was just floored that total strangers would wish her a happy 16th birthday!! She ended up sending each person that sent her a card one of the Thank You notes. In the end, 75% of the ones from RC that sent her a card, also sent her $5 Kohl's, Target, TJ Maxx, CVS or Kmart Gift Cards. My DH's boss gave her a $40 Target gift card, My Dad got her a charm bracelet that says Sweet 16 and we got her $100 Target, $50 Starbucks and $50 CVS card plus we bought her a 1 year prepaid cell phone. It is life altering, because even I was upset with the turn of events, and now I look at family and "friends" a LOT differently. I look at total strangers and their kindness a LOT differently too.
__________________ SPJRNTGADL! ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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My daughter's birthday is December 20th so most school's are out for winter break. When she was in kindergarden we had a birthday party at mcdonalds and no one showed. She still remembers it. We took the cake and went home. We don't live near family so it was just the 3 of us. It is hard for her to have a party because its at the busiest time of year.Now we try to just do something with her and a couple of friends.
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We always just have family parties so so far we haven't had to go thru this. But my ds, he's in kindergarten this year, had gotten an invite for a classmate's party. It was over Spring Break. We never even knew about it until after Spring Break was over. His teacher had stapled the invites in the kid's take home folders and we never looked in it until Spring Break was almost over. I wonder how many kids ever saw theirs before the party? I actually felt bad for my ds, it was the first party he has been invited to.
__________________ Insanity laughs under pressure we're cracking |
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We've had this happen as well. I had planned a party for my son's 7th b-day and we over-invited people, thinking about half would rsvp. Imagine my shock when everyone rsvp to say that they would be there. We were expecting over 50 people. I went to Costco, and bought food, supplies, goodie bags, pinata, etc. for 50 people. Well, the phone began ringing early on the day of the party and NO JOKE, one by one every single person canceled. It got to the point where I didn't want to answer the phone. Even the neighbor came by to say that her family wasn't going to be able to make it. Finally, the last person to cancel was my sister in law that has 7, yes 7, kids. She said that it was such a nice day that they were going to the park instead. (WTH??) I begged her to please come and it took some convincing, but she did. With her seven kids, it seemed like a party but I will never forget telling my son, "Don't worry, if no one comes, we're going to Disneyland."
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It has never happened with my kids yet. (my oldest is only 9 though) It did happen to me. I was probably in 7th or 8th grade. It was HORRIBLE. I was sad, dissapointed, embarassed that "nobody" liked me. I never had or wanted another party after that. Even as an adult! I am 32 yrs old now and anyone who knows me knows I DO NOT want a party. I never related the not wanting a party now to having that happen, but now that I think about it I know it's because I never want to experience that rejection again. For my kids parties, I definetly over invite, so far, so good. LOL |
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Well, we have never had this happen, thankfully, but, I honestly am trying to scale back on the parties. The oldest one just wants one friend over usually, he's fine with whatever. My oldest DD wants the entire school over-oh those pre-teen and teen years. Youngest DD hasn't hit school yet, so we haven't really had to deal with that. We usually have a big family to-do, the b'day boy/girl gets to pick their place for dinner, and then cake and ice cream at home. If they are having a party, that is on a different day. Now, mind you, take a look at my user name.......by the time August rolls around, we're about pulling our hair out....between getting ready for back to school, and all the birthdays....there are some times when I almost WISH no one showed up. But, that would be selfish of me. Some people are rude and don't even RSVP or flat out just don't even show at all. When DD or DS get an invite we usually let them go...........really struggling with this water park invite, tho.
__________________ Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing. |
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Never had anything but a family party...Today's my nephew's Bday and after school we're all headed to my parents and throwing him a suprise party..Just family, its a small family....but enough, the house will be full of people....15-20 people...
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This happened at my daughters first Birthday! We lived far from relatives and all these kids from her daycare had rsvp'd, but nobody showed. There was a snow storm which I understand, but no one had the decency to call! I just remember this little girl all dressed up and sitting in the corner looking sad. I thought she would be to young to know what was happening, but the look on her face broke my heart. We have parties at home for all three kids and invite the entire class. We've never had less than 7 other kids and the biggest was 29 children. Talk about crazy!!! |
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Would you let your child go to a hotel party? I've let my kids go to every party they have been invited to except the hotel parties (both have been invited to one). By hotel party I mean they spend the night at the hotel and play in the pool etc. It just hit me as weird so I said no and we found something else to do. We do always RSVP though! When I plan a party for my kids I always check with their best friend parents before I set a date. If nothing else, their most important friend there is what they want most of all. |
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I'm so sorry for your daughter. Hope she took it in stride, but I know how emotional girls can get. I'm not sure what RC is. Can you explain?
__________________ I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it! |
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My dd was is turning 5 and I was having it at this cooking school and only 2 girls from her class RSVP. I started inviting other children because I had paid for this party! I never thought that people could be so rude and not RSVP. I even called one mom who told me they were having pictures done that day and couldn't show. Could you have called me and let me know?? Now we go away for their birthdays. I like it alot better and it is relaxing for me too!
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My DS has a summer birthday. When he was in kindergarten we had a swimming party at the local pool. He invited some friends from our playgroup plus a bunch from school. We sent the invites home with them 1 week before school was out which was 1 month prior to the party. I didn't have mailing addresses for the kids so this was the only way. NONE of the kids from school came 5 RSVP'd Yes and didn't come. We had others there and the pool cost wasn't too bad but DS was sad We now have all parties during the school year (about 1.5 months early for his bday) and have had better luck. His next party is in 2 weeks so we'll see....I can't imagine being a child and having no noe come
__________________ Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003 |
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RC is Refund Cents (another website, but it's a pay website)--there are some mycoupons members that are members there too. The generosity of complete strangers (except those I have traded with all these years) is truly amazing--especially when you can't count on your siblings.
__________________ SPJRNTGADL! ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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This has happened to us every year except for one and my DD is now 10yrs old. I paid almost $200 to have her party at Fun Expedition this year and no one in her class showed up. I had to call a co-worker and ask him to bring his kids. Her three cousins did show up but not one child she goes to school with. Last year I had her party at home and only one child showed up. It's so sad and what really frustrates me is that this children call her on the phone and talk to her all the time but no one ever invites her to a party or show up for hers. It just breaks my heart but she always tries to keep a positive outlook. She'll tell me "maybe their parents had to work or they just forgot" You can tell it hurts her but she tries not to let it show.
__________________ "Let me watch my children grow to see what they become Lord don't let that cold wind blow til I'm too old to die young' |
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It's hard here b/c this is one of those towns where everyone has tons of family - cousins, sisters, brothers, aunts, etc. so most parties are large b/c of sooo much family. we don't have family here, and for some reason people here don't rsvp - even when you include a STAMPED envelope for them to do so.
__________________ "Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God? " ~Epicurus |
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What a great ending.....
__________________ Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like. - Will Rogers |
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My daughter turned 7 this year. For the past three or four years we had her party at a place much like Chucky Cheese and always had an excellent turnout. But you can only invite so many. So i decided to have it at a skating rink- a little outta town but not by much. I told her she could invite the entire first grade. I think having it out of town plus she gave the invitations out at school and we didnt mail them as we had in the past contributed but only one kid showed up- it was the boy she just adores though, plus my best friend and her hubby (DD's godparents) were able to make it - and my DD has a lot of cousins. So it turned out great. I got a bit teary eyed but my best friend took me aside and said, "She is having a great time and isnt focusing on who didnt show up so dont bring it to her attention." But it breaks my heart to think of it.
__________________ Not all those that wander are lost. |
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I am living this right now. My DD is having a party this Saturday and we invited everyone in her school class, friends from last years school, basically everyone we could think and only three have said they are going to make it. We did it this weekend becasuse she has a June Birthday. No one is in town in June so we moved it up to this weekend hoping someone could come but it looks like heartbreak again. I just hope of the three that rsp'd at least one of them actually shows up. My other DD has a December birthday and we tried to have a party for her this year too. We at least had two show up. I think we are going to give up. |
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| I could not have said it better myself. SAME GOES FOR ME TOO !!
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It is very hard for a child to go thru that. When we have a party the following people are always here ~ my mom my sister, boyfriend + 5 boys me, DH, + our 7 daughters our friend Wes Now if we have a party & no one shows up we still have one *()* of a party!! ![]() I know it is not the same but it helps
__________________ Dawnie ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If there is a will there is a way! |
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