The birthday party thread got me thinking?

Do we give our kids too much?

Do you give the huge "my super sweet 16" or buy the 6 yr old an ipod, get the Lexus at graduation or the trip to Europe?

What does it give them to look forward to? How much is too much?

Dizz

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I found Jesus! He was behind the couch!

I give my two year old way too much but it's on clearance at least 50-75% off!! This year the "easter bunny" bought him two Thomas the train outfits that were regularly $20 a piece plus two t-shirts (thomas) and the "eb" took advantage of the buy $30 get $15 back deal from paypal and bought online the outfits were on clearance 50% off (that was STEEP for me!!) and the t's were on clearance 75% off!! EB also bought him a thomas and the jet engine playset at k-mart 75% off...all in all, the eb did quite well but now we have all this "crap" from Christmas and Easter! What can I say? The kid is PASSIONATE about Thomas the tank engine and screams at TRU if we don't let him play on the train table (he has most of the trains at home, we don't need to waste our time playing at a department store!!)

Anyway, I think the question really depends on what kind of budget you are working with. My parents bought me a used car for graduation and I totalled it over Christmas break and they bought me another used car. Yes, the accident was my fault (the only time it was EVER my fault) and I was not spoiled by any means. This was their way of ensuring we made it to college as they could not afford to send us to college. Now, I was rear-ended in a collision that totalled the second car they bought me and my dad profited on the accident so it all worked out for them cost wise!! (he bought the car for less than the value as he is a dealer).

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I do think *most* kids get too much. We try not to do that with ours (almost 5 and almost 8). I would never get a 6 year old an ipod...that's ridiculous! I didn't get one til I was 32! I think parents who do the "super sweet 16" parties like on MTV need serious concouling! Those kids are SO SELFISH! My kids don't lack for stuff but for every item that comes in, one must go out. We do not have any big gaming system (WII, playstation, etc) and I don't plan on it anytime soon although 99.9% of everyone else we know has one We don't be buying a car for our kids...they can use the family car or pay for their own. You really don't appreciate something until you pay for it yourself...at least that's what I think. I will offer to give them $1K to go towards a car if we have it but I'm no way buying a brand new car.

We do have birthday parties but not $$$ ones. We are spending about $125 for my son's upcoming party at a bounce place. That includes cake. I would have it at my house but the damage would be greater LOL $125 for cake, 2 hours of playtime and no mess to clean up I think my parents spent $200 on my 16th bday and it was great!

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

No Ipod here but my 6 yr old has an MP3 player and Nintendo DS. MP3 player was $20 on woot and when DH upgraded his he gave his old one to 6 yr old. Nintendo DS was a birthday gift (sorta-long story). It gets him thinking and has to use logic etc.

Not sure on buying the car. Depends on grades etc. I had to buy my own and I had to work. Not that there is anything wrong with working but I want my kids to enjoy their teen years and work hard in school so if a car is needed so I don't have to go without then maybe we will buy a car and the boys will be able to "borrow" it from us. I've got 10 years to think about it.

We do the birthday parties-not like those MTV things- but we enjoy having all of our friends over. It doesn't cost much to throw a party. We spend less than $50. usually. Sometimes we get a bounce house so that adds $50. to it.

Well, check out this girl who is pissed that her parents got her the wrong color car.

YouTube - Spoiled Girl Reacts To Wrong Color Car For Her Birthday

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Raising my baby RIGHT!!!!!!

All the cool babies are wearing cloth!

Yep, kids and grandkids!
Buying and giving is my hobby!
Most bought on clearance,of course.
I can't pass up a bargain!
I HATE buying stuff for myself unless it is scrapbooking stuff or sewing stuff, which is eventually for someone else. Well, I do make square dance clothes for myself.

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Square dancing is friendship set to music!

As a teacher, yes I think so (in some cases).

I have students going on cruses this summer (taking friends with them too!)
Kids who have ipods
kids who have cell phones
kids who have laptops

and they just do not respect anything! They tell me I drive a junky car, etc. Well, yes I do- who cares lol!

I'll give you an example of "too much" in my opinion. DD's friend got a brand new red Mustang for her 16th b-day. 2 months later totaled it. Parents bought her a new car, a Honda Accord....crashed that one. Parents said, they were not getting her anything nice any more. 2 days later kid drove up in a brand new VW Beetle convertible!

UGH!!

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This space for rent

I have the 16 year old and did the party... however.

she does not have her drivers license (so no car), she hasnt even taken drivers ed (we won't let her til she is 18 and then no longer has to follow the stupid Michigan step-license law), so no $1,000 forked out for that.

She does get what she needs and not much fluff above that. I only give her "parties" for milestone birthdays....age 5, age 13, age 16 and she will get 2 more...age 18 and age 21...with the latter one I am sure, being in a bar.

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SPJRNTGADL!

You all brought this subject up on a hard day for me! Having returned from a day of work at our local High School. My day started with pulling into the parking lot and finding that a sixteen year old had taken my parking spot, with what I would estimate to be a car that costs more than my yearly salary. So, I guess my answer to the question would be that...Yes, some of us do give too much to our children. Having said that, after years of feeling like a mean parent I realize that some of our decisions helped turn our daughter into a very responsible young adult. Somehow she made it thru High School driving a used car (that she made payment on), and actually had a job starting at the age of 16. She wanted the car, she needed to work to pay for it. Imagine the horror of that statement. But, it was the best thing we could have done for her. She learned that she needed to work for the things in life that she wanted. She maintained an A average, worked 25 hours a week, was captain of the Cheerleading squad and is now an independent 21 year old attending college and living on her own (with her new husband). Now, I have to go thru the entire process all over again with our 11 year old. I only hope that we are as lucky with her! Being a parent is a very hard job.....

In our fam, we do not give our kids *too much*, because we are a larger than average fam, and also because our beliefs are such that we feel that *things* are more valuable*( read: taken better care of and appreciated) if kids have to work for them.
All our kids have needed to get to college on scholarships/workstudy/pt work, etc.. One of our kids was class valedictorian at HS, most recent college bound one ( w/autism & mental illness, and a mensa qualifying IQ higher than any of out other kids, including older sib who was valedictorian) has the same expectations as we had fo older sib... just modified a bit. And this kid *will* do it, has had amazing academic career despite disabilities (We've never allowed any kids' disabilities to be an excuse for them to not work to their fullest potential ... remember, I am the meanest mom in the world ;-)

I am a kween of discount/internet shopping deals, but still... I have found myself holding back getting kids things at great deal prices, even if we could afford them, just to make sure they would understand the natural comnsequences that working for something brings.
Remember... I am the *meanest mom on the planet*.... ;-)

MZ




MZ

Well I do agree we are all giving kids too much these days. My kids get way way more than I ever got & they are not even close to what some of thier friends got my dd who is 12 has friends that get thier nail done every week & have verizon phones & ipods & all of that stuff I have bought my 12 yr old a tracpone & the nails she knows I am not paying for. She does babysit but only her sisters right now & I do pay her for that however she buys her lunches & goes rollerskating with that money. But I constantly get asked why she dont have verizon like ALL of her friends heck I dont even have a cell why would I buy one for my 12 yr old KWIM.

My 6yr old has learned to coupon though she did at a super duper young age & my 2 youngest love garage sales thats where they get spoiled my oldest would die if she wore something from a garage sale but I sneak garage sale finds into her closet she dont know the difference LOL. Even though I constantly hear my 12 yr old say she dont have what her friends have shes still got more than I ever got at 12 heck we were kinda poor when I was a kid but heck who knew it everyone was poor back then LOL so know one knew any different

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mom of 3 greats girls

I am a firm believer in showing your child that hard work pays off. Her job is to do well in school. So as long as she is on the honor roll she will havea nice life so to speak, a television of her own, nice clothes ( no cell phone though its not a necessity). If she does poor in school then the nice stuff will come out and she can wear so/so clothes.As far as a car when she can afford insurance and gas then she will get the one I have now which is very low in miles .But she must show she is responsible. Most everything has to be earned thru chores or good grades.I also reward for perfect dental check ups. I would rather give her a music CD than pay the dentist to fill a cavity. She cleans our bathrooms every week for allowance. This is her chores besides her room. I pay her 7.00 a week and that is so she can learn to save for things she really wants.He birthday is close to xmas so we don't buy much for her year round that is what her allowance is for.We also stick to our guns although it is difficult when a room has too much stuff so they can't keep it clean and you have to remove stuff yourself and sell it at garage sales. If she can't keep it clean after we take out stuff , we will return and take out more. This may seem harsh but it works.