Let me give a little back ground.
1ST. My son has Autism but attends a reg classroom and reg PE.
2ND, This PE Teacher, I've never met on a personal base, But I have spoken too in passing at the school. So it's NOT a personal deal with her.
On Monday while at PE, My son and 3 other boys all their ages are 5,6,7 ( Son repeated K why he is older than the other 3 boys.). While playing they picked up some mesh from the playground and was throwing it at each other. The Mesh is very soft rubber tire shedds, Its under the Jungle Gym. The Monkey bars to help soften any falls that might happen from a child slipping and falling to the ground.
When the Coach saw them doing this she went over and sat them out from the PE time.I DON'T HAVE ANY PROBLEMS WITH HER DOING THIS, IT'S GOOD SHE CORRECTED THE MISBEHAVING OF THEM .On Tuesday, the 4 boy's were not allowed to play at PE because of what happen Monday, On Wednesday they were not allowed to play because of Monday and Today they were once again not allowed to play because of Monday. Well, I didn't even know this had happen till a good friend of mine told me today when she asked if I knew the boy's had gotten in trouble on Monday,( Her son and my son are best buddies at school. And they are 2 of the 4 that got into trouble together,Lisa and one of the other boy's Mother went to the school today to ask why they are being punished for 4 DAYS ???? The crime doesn't fit the punishment, She and the other Mother were told this is a rule no matter how or what the child(ren) do in misbehaving. WTF OMG. They don't get to play at PE for 4 days ?? No matter what the crime is ????? Now this PE Teacher has a REP at school as being a VERY VERY mean person with the kids, I personally know for a fact she yelled at my 4 year old and 2 other girls on the play ground for not sharing the swing, How do I know this, the TEACHER told me, Not only did she tell me she yelled at the girls,But she told me it wouldn't happen again on her watch , as they are ONLY 4 years old and should NEVER be yelled at in that kind of manner. She also stated if it did happen again she would be contacting the School Board over this. Now my son did and does admit he was throwing the shedds and Me and his Father both talked to him about this, explained to him he should NEVER ever throw things as someone can/ could get hurt. He said he was sorry and wouldn't do it again. However, He told me the PE Teacher screamed at him and told him to shut up when they tried to tell her they were only playing and not fighting. OMG, NOONE TELLS MY CHILD TO SHUT UP. Maybe be quiet, or hold on a sec, or something along those lines, but never to tell them to shut up.I -plan on going in Friday and speaking to the Principle of this, As I don't think this warrants 4 days of sitting out of PE. Also will inform him about her telling the 4 boys to shut up. I don't want to come off as I feel which is I'M MAD AS HELL Over this., So need some suggestion on just how to word what needs to be stated.
Any help would be appreciated, As I know me and I also know I'll go off on the school over this.But I dont want to do this. So please anyone have some suggestions on what and how to state this ?

Well, it went about as far as I thought it would go with that coach. She SWEARS she has not sat the boy's out, but rather they were **allowed** to Run Laps, Walk Laps, But they are not made to sit out for the 35 mins ( sorry thought it was 45, but it's 35 PE time ), However, She said these boys didn't sit out, I did speak to Lisa and she said the DID tell her the boys sat out on the ground, She was pretty PO'ED they are now saying it's not what was said. All 3 Coaches just HAD to get into the middle of this. I wasn't speaking to ANYONE other than the Coach that did the punishment,I didn't ask the other 2 to join in and try to JUSTIFIED THE COACHES ACTIONS. Which the 1 coach felt she needed to repeat over and over AND OVERRRRRRRRRRR again.I also got the Well you know we have 800 kids here we have to deal with **GOOD THATS YOUR JOB AS A PE COACH**. Why else are you a coach if you dont want to deal with kids ??????? After the 1st 5 mins into this I gave up. They were all sticking together about they didn't Sit them out Rather they * walked laps, ran laps* Okay what ever I asked Christian if he got to go onto the playground and he said No, they sat under a tree. this is also the something Lisa's boy stated today. But I did make the coach look back to see if this was Christian's 1st being in trouble at PE and it was. I also asked then why 4 days of punishment, It was *explained to me, Because they got into trouble on a Monday, If the had gotten into trouble on Tuesday it would had been 3 days Wednesday 2 days and so on and so on. THIS IS STUPID to me. Now please anyone tell me what sense does that make to anyone here ?? Anyway it was all a Mute Point today, I got nowhere with this, The Asst Principle told me it;s NOT a school rule to sit them out,but rather what the coaches stated. I informed all of them next time he gets into trouble someone better let me know, I don't/ didn't appreciate hearing this from a classmate Mother . OH The coach did say the reason she *probably* didn't let the School teacher know about this was because it was his 1st time being in trouble on the playground. Any hoot, I got Nowhere with this today, But you better believe me if this happens again they better let me know because I want to be there on a sneak surprise visit to just see how a PE punishment is dealt with, whether or not the kids have to sit or do laps.
Sorry it took so long to post a update, been burning copies of a CD from a friend of mine

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I would write everything down, so you don't forget anything. Try to remain calm, and remember, there are at least two sides to every story. I know that may not be what you want to hear, and we all want to believe our children do no wrong, and never even lie, but, it does happen. I know this for a FACT!!! I am sure they were told to sit out of playing at PE like you stated, but, is there a chance they misbehaved again??? I guess what I am trying to say is I suggest you don't go in there with attitude or in an accusatory fashion. I would tell the principal what your son said happened, and perhaps the PE teacher can come down and give her side as well. Even if she denies telling your DS to shut up, she, and the principal will know you are not one of those parents to just let it fly when something happens, you are involved.

Also, I thought PE was a mandatory thing....hmmmm, wonder how the school board would feel about kids being made to sit out from PE???

Good Luck.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

I think you should talk to the principal, none of the kids in kindergarten understand that long of a punishment. My son is 6 and in K right now and very bright and he wouldn't understand that because of something he did on Monday, he can't do PE on Thursday... Then, Carrie, I agree that you should not yell at someone that is autistic, but you should have taken it a step further... Teachers that are our children's advocates should not YELL at them at all! I would be furious if someone was yelling at my child at school.
Good luck OP! Let us know how it turns out!

Since your son is Autistic, you have the right to call an IEP meeting anytime you want and for any reason. Does your son have a behavior plan? If so, what is it? I would simply request an IEP meeting immediately (must be held within 7 days of request) and let the team discuss this and go from there. I would request that the PE teacher be present and let whoever is in charge of setting up the meeting the reason for the meeting.

From the info given, the crime does not fit the punishment. PE is a required class, but when children are doing something to endanger others, the teacher does have the right to sit them out. Not saying the teacher is right, but that is normal from what I've seen at our school.

My daughter is autistic and is regular ed full day, so we've kinda been there and done that as behavior is her main issue.

On the being told to shut up, I can ask my friends boy if this was said, On the sitting out for 4 days, This was told to Lisa and the other Mother today, So this didn't come from a child, but from the PE Teacher. They said it's their rule for ANY child misbehaving at PE to sit out 4 days.I have a HUGE HUGE problem with this. I don't think sitting out of PE for 4 days is healthy nor does it fit the crime of the misbehaved child(ren)They don't get suspended from school that long for fighting !.... The PE Teacher told Lisa it wasn't a problem since they only get 45 mins at PE and since they spend 1 hr on the K-5 playground with the School Teacher it makes up for what they have missed during the PE class.Well the Playtime with the Teacher is done to RELEASE any bottled up energy the kids have at the END of the day. The PE however, is to Teach/ Control/and for the child to learn how to EXERCISE and learn healthy playing .(KWIM)... I still dont agree with 4 days thats just unreal to us.. why punish them for 4 days ? to me thats like saying there's no forgiveness in your misbehaving actions. It's like we are going to REVISIT this each day for the next 4 days. Once a person or child is punished for their wrong doings that should be it till the next time it happens, then the punishment should be longer and harder than the 1st .. Oh the PE teacher did say, she felt badly because Lisa's and My son has NEVER EVER gotten into trouble all year long. OK then why punish them so harshly ??.. Sorry, but 5,6 and 7 year olds don't need to feel like their crimes of misbehaving can't be forgiven. thats completely wrong and mean IMHO. I'm sure not many if any parent on MC would punish their child for 4 days for the same thing, unless someone had gotten hurt or the child hasn't learn the lesson or the child repeated the same behavior over again. I think it's mean/hateful and it teaches children that you cant forgive a wrong doing.
But any hoot, Thats my personal view on this.
I'll stay calm. However, the PE teacher has already stated everything on the matter of what happen. None of the Parents think their child did no wrong, I sure dont as my son has said he threw the shedds and so did Lisa's son when I asked him today how long it's been since this happen, he said Monday and they will be allowed to play again Friday. And you are 100% right, Kids as well as adults do lie, However, the question isn't about whether the kids lied about doing this, It's about them not being able to do their PE for 4 days. (KWIM) This seems to be very harsh of a punishment for Elementary age child.
Thanks for the help I appreciate it. I'll keep in mind that she may or may not of told them to shut up.I'll have to ask Lisa's son and the other 2 boys about this in the morning.

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Carrie, you are 100% right on this. I didn't state that because I didn't want a war to start about child with problems being treated differently than a child that didn't.Christian IS and has ALWAYS been a child that you can't come on too strongly about things, He will explode like a time bomb on you.Even when he has gotten on our very very last nerve and you are counting down the mins till he gets his Meds and heads to bed, You still can't yell, scream or talk harshly too. However, In my heart I dont have a problem saying I do believe she yelled at them. As I stated, I work very closely with my 4 year old Teacher's and the Teacher told me she had walked on the playground with the same PE coach yelling at the 4 year olds... So yes I do believe this was done,But will hold my judgment till I get a confirm form the other boys over this. And again you are completely right about him not understanding why he can't play again for 4 days . Hell he didn't tell me it happen, they go to PE at 10:30ish I dont pick them up till 3:00, I know he didn't even remember what happen hrs b4. He has a attention Span of about 2 mins (IYKWIM)... If I could get paid for everything i have told him a million times I would beat trump on money in the bank. But, I know Christian and believe it or not, he's a child that usually will not lie about stuff, Don't know if its because he has autism or if hes just that honest of a child. He has even been known to come tell me he did something wrong before I have found it out, LOL.... So in my Heart I do believe it happen, and Should I find out it did, I cant say I will stay calm at all, NOONE has that right with my children ever, Unless what they are doing is going to kill someone or them.
About the IEP, I didn't know I could request a meeting at any time. Thanks for the heads up on this. I'll make sure next year this is placed in his IEP folder. I still don't like the idea he's with a reg classroom, But not much I able to do about it right now. Thanks again everyone, I appreciate the help.

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The PE Teacher has had my son for 3 years,This isn't his 1st year at the School, He stayed in DD Classes for 2 years and he repeated K this year. Plus my other children are or have attended the school also. So she knows him and my other children, If they have ever gotten into trouble before now, I have never been told so. I would have thought the School Teacher would have written us a note in their daily folder, (This is why we didn't know it happen, till Lisa's son told the daddy yesterday he didn't want to go back to school ( Remember he's only 5 years old ) Because he has to sit and watch the kids play and he can't. Thats how Lisa found out,, well the 1 of 2 boys with ours, Lisa knew the parent and called to ask if she knew anything about it, the other Mother said she didn't know a thing about this, so the 2 of them went to the School today. She tried calling me, but I wasn't at home at the time. Lisa did ask why there wasn't a note sent home, the PE Teacher said we dont send them home , Makes me wonder if the child repeats the misdoings on the Friday or 4 days after the punishment begins would the parent ever know whats happening and their child didn't take PE ?? Odd rule IMHO.
And yes I have ALWAYS hear it's 1 min PER YEAR in time out. However, I wouldn't and DON'T have a problem if the punishment was for that day, But not 4 days. thats crazy !!!!

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The punishment does not fit the crime...period. But you must follow the "chain of command". Talk with the PE teacher either by email or phone and get her side of the story. If you get no satisfaction, then talk to the person who oversees your son's IEP. If after exhausting those options your still not happy, talk with the principal.

As far as the IEP goes, the school has the right to discipline the same as they would for every other student. If this is the rule, then they are well within their right to enforce it. My problem would be with the rule itself and wanting to get it changed not just for my own kid but for the others as well.

My son is in 6th grade and has an IEP. He is a handful and the principal is tired of dealing with him, so in the past 10 school days he as been suspended for a total of six of them. The first time was 3 days for "horseplay in the hallway" the second was also for three days for being "disruptive" (the last one his teacher sent him to the office with a note requesting after school detention, the assistant principal told me that every time my kid is sent to the office he will get three days.) This I have a big problem with! I questioned how is it in the best interest of a child who is struggling to stay afloat academically to be out of school for a total of six days out of ten. I questioned the fact that these punishments are more harsh than would be given to another student. Come to find out the assistant principal did not even know that my son has an IEP. I explained that I am well aware they have to disclipline him...but they have to be fair. And that legally that are obligated to now call a special meeting to work out a behavior plan as he has been suspended for a total of more than 10 school days this year. It helps that one of my best friends is a former special ed teacher who is now a principal in another district...she gives me lots of advice.

ETA: You must check your states IEP program out for the specific rules. In Michigan you cannot request an IEP meeting unless a rule has been broken or a situation has changed to the degree that the plan must be re-evaluated. With my son the rules state that after the 10th day out of school suspension in any school year a meeting must take place.

Many times too the classroom teacher is not aware of a PE punishment...

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Chrystal. why has there not been a behavior plan in place already? One should automatically be done if behavior is an issue with your child starting day one! The purpose of a plan is to circumvent the behaviors; a preventative measure. After 10 days of suspension a Manifestation meeting should be called. The reason for this is to determine that the behaviors he/she was suspended for are caused/a result of the disability (autism). It covers your child so that they can not be expelled unless they break the weapon type rule and then all bets are off. This is federal law; not state. We have an oh so lovely principal too and I'm just waiting for her to retire; rumor is that next year will be her last!

I'm not looking for *special* treatment with Christian on this , I think the whole 4 day sit out is BS on all scales not just for a special needs child (KWIM).. I cant -dont- will not- accept this a a form of correction with Elementary Age Children. The school only goes to the 3rd grade, So we are talking about 4-9 year old children.
My biggest problem with the rule is I dont believe it teaches a child they can be forgiven of their misdoings. Really, who here wants to be reminded for the next 4 days you did something wrong. This is my point, not that he was punished, Heck I punish him all the time, but once the time is up it's up, we DONT rehash what he done wrong, unless it's repeated again, then the punishment is longer and more st rick than the time before.

I'm going in at noon today to talk to the Principle about this. It just blows me away that they can and do take 4 days as punishment for ANY misdoings. ... So if a child doesn't play nicely EXAMPLE share a swing, share the monkey bars ect. they get 4 days sit out time ???? If thats the case, NOPE NEVER will I let this go, We are talking ages 4 to 9 year olds. NOT children that in most cases have even learned what sharing is all about or what kind of playing is acceptable. These children are still learning the rules of the play ground, Ever been to the park to see little 4 year olds not willing to share time with a swing ?.... when the PE Teacher stated ANY,to me this is ANY wrong doings not socially acceptable no matter how small they might be.

I FULLY understand Children need rules and YES they need to be taught how to follow and apply them when playing with others. We all want our children to be socially accepted .However, Once again 4 days of punishment to me will not teach them this, it teaches them YOU CAN'T BE FORGIVEN AND WE WILL REVISIT THE CRIME for 4 days, Thats not right and it's MEAN to me. we spend a great deal of time teaching our children to accept the small short comings of others, we teach them to accept things we our self wouldn't do however being its not our cup of tea doesn't make it totally wrong for others . we teach our children Forgiveness is right and should always be used when we dont agree. Now I have a PE Teacher teaching my son it's will be forgiven once we revisit it for the next 4 days, This isn't a lesson I want to teach him for being a boy ( Yes I 'm using the boys will be boys thing ), As ALL boys like to horse play, I have 3 of them and each and every single one of them play rough with each other. The boy's were playing with each other, it wasn't meant to be a mean thing throwing the shedds, it was a fun/ playful thing they were doing. Yes I understand someone could have gotten hurt, and thank goodness they didn't, But to make the kids sit and watch their classmates play while they Don't understand why the punishment is this long when they had already been taken away from the playground on the day it happen is MEAN and personally to me over stepping their bounds.

I'll let y'all know how it goes today at school. I want them to completely explain how this will help children learn from their mistakes. I want them to explain to me if they really think 4 days will teach out children to accept what they have done for the FIRST TIME as learning from it. Sorry, I dont think they can do it. the children need to be taught to FORGIVE and learn from that.

Sorry, the more I think about this the madder I'm getting. I'm not flaming anyone, just blowing off steam before I hit the school.

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PE is mandatory in my state. I can understand the boys setting out for a few minutes, but four days come on the PE teacher needs to take a refresher course on how to discipline young children. Children are children and we have to guide them when they make a mistake not keep punishing them. The children learned nothing positive about making a mistakes only the negative side. The PE teacher needs to be in High School the older ones would not take her ( sorry for a lack of a better word) crap. Call the school board and ask what their policy is and what is the recommended punishment.

I just wanted to let you know I know where your coming from . My nephew has downs and was mainstreamed. He had something very similar happen to him at his school with the gym teacher. My sister ended up calling the superintendant on the spot.. I hope youfind someone on your side.. please follow up on it!

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Well, it went about as far as I thought it would go with that coach. She SWEARS she has not sat the boy's out, but rather they were **allowed** to Run Laps, Walk Laps, But they were not made to sit out for the 35 mins ( sorry thought it was 45, but it's 35 PE time ), However, She said these boys didn't sit out, I did speak to Lisa and she said they DID tell her the boys sat out on the ground, She was pretty PO'ED they are now saying it's not what was said. All 3 Coaches just HAD to get into the middle of this. I wasn't speaking to ANYONE other than the Coach that did the punishment,I didn't ask the other 2 to join in and try to JUSTIFIED THE COACHE ACTIONS. Which the 1 coach felt she needed to repeat over and over AND OVERRRRRRRRRRR again that this is what they do with kids that misbehave and that this coach did nothign wrong BLAH BLAH BLAH.I also got the Well you know we have 800 kids here we have to deal with **GOOD THATS YOUR JOB AS A PE COACH**. Why else are you a coach if you dont want to deal with kids ??????? After the 1st 5 mins into this I gave up. They were all sticking together about they didn't Sit them out Rather they * walked laps, ran laps* Okay what ever I asked Christian if he got to go onto the playground and he said No, they sat under a tree. this is also the something Lisa's boy stated today. But I did make the coach look back to see if this was Christian's 1st being in trouble at PE and it was. I also asked then why 4 days of punishment, It was *explained to me, Because they got into trouble on a Monday, If the had gotten into trouble on Tuesday it would had been 3 days Wednesday 2 days and so on and so on. THIS IS STUPID to me. Now please anyone tell me what sense does that make to anyone here ?? Anyway it was all a Mute Point today, I got nowhere with this, The Asst Principle told me it;s NOT a school rule to sit them out,but rather what the coaches stated. I informed all of them next time he gets into trouble someone better let me know, I don't/ didn't appreciate hearing this from a classmate Mother . OH The coach did say the reason she *probably* didn't let the School teacher know about this was because it was his 1st time being in trouble on the playground. Any hoot, I got Nowhere with this today, But you better believe me if this happens again they better let me know because I want to be there on a sneak surprise visit to just see how a PE punishment is dealt with, whether or not the kids have to sit or do laps.
Sorry it took so long to post a update, been burning copies of a CD from a friend of mine

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It is so close to the end of the school year...

At this point, I'd know that my point was made and then let it go. You really do have to play the game a little bit as far as the school is concerned. Mainly because you do want for the adults that are around your children to be advocates for them.

I didn't read everything in this thread so hopefully I'm on track with this advice.

Early on with my kids, I had to learn to choose my battles and with all due respect, this is one that I'd let go now that you have made your point. They listened to you whether you think they did or not -- I am sure that they will be more careful about how they handle this type of thing in the future (whether you think that they will or not).

My kids do this all the time... they do something wrong and then try to cover their fannies (like the coaches are doing). They do not want to get in trouble from *higher-ups* (ie. Dad... or the Principal in the coaches case).

Indeed, I'm letting it go. They had never met me- I have never met them, So they know now I'll not allow Christian to be treated this way nor any of the other 2 thats still there.I know they lied to cover for each other not a doubt in my mind about it. But If thats what they got to do to cover something THEY know is wrong to be doing *why else lie about it * Then thats THEIR problem. However, I now know this isn't a school rule and I also know they sit the kids out rather than allowing them to be punished and move on.......
And no I can't afford to make waves at the school. We are building a brand new school and it will take the kids all the way to the 6th grade where as its now only to the 3rd. So this means my 4 year old will stay at the school till 6th grade.So no reason to made it hard on her and the others( K-AND 2ND GRADER)So I'll walk on this this time.
Thanks everyone for helping me.

BTW, I did keep my cool about me. I didn't show I was mad even when a NOSEY Coach kept saying SHE DID NOTING WRONG ,BLAH BLAH BLAH : I even surprised myself on this, LOL. didn't know I could stay this calm when I know someone is covering up a wrong doing.

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I guess I may be in the minority, but I wouldn't be all bent out of shape over this at all.

Regardless of whether there is a school rule to cover every possible infraction, teachers have to have some form of classroom management plan. I know where my children attend, if they get put in detention, it's "for the rest of the day." While it doesn't necessarily seem fair, punishment-wise, for one child to mess up at 9:00 AM and be there six hours, and another to mess up at 2:00 and be there one, part of what the teacher is doing is managing her *classroom* for the day... and evicting someone causing trouble *that day* keeps things running smoothly for the rest of the day. The next day is a fresh slate.

A week for a Monday disruption does seem like a long time, but rather than going off on them, I think I'd just have approached them kindly, saying something like, "Hi, I'm Johnny's mom, and I learned that Johnny did something in class earlier this week that's resulted in him being suspended from PE activities for an entire week. I figured it must be fairly severe to warrant a five-day participation suspension, so I thought I should come talk to you and see what he did so I can know if I need to be reinforcing punishment at home. Obviously, I have the child's version, but would like the adult version, as well."

If they'd said something like, "Well, our policy is that a misbehavior results in the child sitting out from the regular activities for the rest of the week, however, we do like them to get some exercise so we encourage them to run laps during their time with us, even though they're not eligible to play kick ball with the group"

To you, this feels like a huge, huge deal. To a teacher, it's just part of the routine. Unless and until a child becomes a real behavior problem, most don't usually call home for simple, day-to-day discipline issues. It sounds like what he was doing was minor. While the punishment does seem a bit "bigger" than necessary to get the point across, the infraction itself... not anything a teacher shouldn't just be expected to handle as part of her day-to-day work. If she has 800 students, she can't call home for every little time a child misbehaves. I'd assume something like fighting and bloody noses would result in a call, but small things, unless it's a problem that happens over and over again, don't register as report-to-the-parents worthy.

Right or wrong, good or bad, the impression you leave with the teacher will likely influence the way they approach your son. If you create a relationship based on a shared mission, rather than fear on their part that you're waiting for them to mess up again, your child will benefit.

I'm amazed at the punishment! We must have a very relaxed school then! I am a sub associate and often have recess duty. If someone is caught (or told on) about throwing the stuff they may get a warning, or have to sit out for maybe the rest of the recess. Or they get written up. 3 write up and they get alternatite recess. But no way does it go over for 4 days!