Just wondering....Just feeling overly sensitive today...not feeling like I fit in anywhere...
OK, I guess I am having a self indulged pity party here! But, hey that's what TC is for right?

Here's my rant

OK....
I am 38 Married for 16 years, never been able to have kids and today along with Christmas just kills me.
When ever I speak to my friends, at the end the tell me Happy Mother's day and I even get emails that they send to all their friends with all the happy poems, etc.

Am i being selfish for being hurt, for my friends not realizing how bad it hurts?

I guess what I am really mad at is...that I let my husband always say now is not the time to look into adoption or were not ready...
We both lost our jobs, so, I do believe that for now! BUT----Things have just got to change...

thanks for listening....

I don't have children. In my 10 years of marriage, we've never used birth control. I suspect the problem is me, but we've never been tested. Just always thought what was meant to be would be. And we're poor, and I've got a lot of medical problems, so adoption isn't an option for us either. I know exactly how you're feeling. Just thought I'd post and let you know you're not alone.

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I'm in a constant search for the next great freebie or deal.

Nope, you're not the only one. We've been married for 14 years this Tuesday and we've stopped using birth control shortly after our honeymoon. We've never tested to see who has the problem, but I think it was meant to be like this. I have nothing against children, but feel that I'm not "mommy material." I can handle kids for a bit and then it's back to their parents. I kinda feel bad because the DH loves kids, but I think this is how our life was meant to be. Sometimes I wonder what our life would be like having a kid but if something like that happened to me now, I'd kill the DH since I'll be 44 in December.

Hello There
I been marriage for 14 months to my Dh he is wonderful man,I had a dream about my little one before I got marriage to Dh.About 10 years ago I am just waiting for the Dream to come to past.So don't give up kids are a Gift from God.So I am waiting for my gift

I have been married for almost 8. We haven't really "tried", but I have recently found out we will probably not have kids naturally. It just kills me. Everyone we know has children, and they bring up the fact we do not all the time.

Funny story- my students all think it is strange (as do most people) that we do not have kids. One day my students were working on something and the topic got brought up. One kid was like" why doesn't mrs. have kids?" Another was like "why does she need kids when she has us "

Maybe you could go on a crusade to encourage young teenagers across america to become a teacher before they have any children, and call the crusade "Better Than Abstinence"

I am teasing.


Seriously, I am sure you all feel an empty in your hearts Everything in life happens for a reason and even though we can't really understand it or why, maybe you can find a way to make it a positive thing? I know maybe that sounds really dumb because I am not in your shoes to know what it is like.

Have any of you ever thought about maybe babysitting for single moms or dads out there on low income? Is there anyone you know that could use free time?

It is just so unfair that people that want kids can't have them and people that don't deserve them get them. I have never understood that. I bet you would all be great moms

36 here (will be 37 in dec) and no kids....but my dh has a teenage son that lives in SD. I do have Chico (my little dog , that is my baby )

Christine

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TLJ ~ Women United in Spirit

Absolutely not!
I extend many apologies to you and anyone else that experiences this. (((HUGS))) to you.

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@@@
l/ l/ l/
Dont go through life,
GROW through life

Real eyes...realize...real lies.

Thank you everybody! boy, am I glad that day is over...phew...it was a toughy.

Married four years and no kids. I know my husband wants them, but I've been avoiding having them long enough to wonder if I might be happier without them. I'm really conflicted on that. I'm guessing there are at least a couple of people here who don't want kids.

In a situation where you can't have, or don't want kids, there are a lot of things you can do which would be difficult or even impossible with kids around. You do need to try to see what's good about how you have it, for you own sanity. Then again, I don't think it's fair for one partner in a marriage to deny the other's desire to be a parent. 'Not now' is no substitute for a discussion, and a concrete plan. If you want to adopt, you need to do your research, and decide how much trouble you're willing to go through. You may also need to decide if you'd rather have a child or a husband, as harsh as that is.

You're not wrong to feel hurt when people talk about their children, either. I don't think people mean any ill by doing that, but I do have sympathy. In my case, I'm resentful because I know the person can have kids because their family babysits, or they're receiving assistance, and I don't have that benefit. That's much worse, really. I suppose someone who's childless sees having children as a privilege, while parents can see them as a pain. That's really simplifying it, but I think you have some idea what I mean.

Been married for 18 years and DH and I don't have any children either. I know exactly how you feel about being left out.

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Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

I do NOT think you are being overly sensitive! I think the folks who send you the happy poems or the friends that tell you happy mothers day are being INSENSITIVE. It only takes a few seconds to stop and think about the pain they could be inflicting. I mean if they are real friends, there is a good chance that they know you're hurting and they should edit the email NOT to include you OR hold their MD sentiments.......I swear, people really need to stop and think BEFORE they open their mouths.

To you PERSONALLY, I am sorry that these friends did/do this to you. And I am sorry that you're going through any and all of this. My heart really aches for you. If you ever wanna talk, please drop me a line, I am willing to be a considerate & thoughtful friend to you!

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email is moserlara@yahoo.com

DH and I celebrated our 15th anniversary a week before DD was born in 1993. I hadn't used birth control since 1980. I also lost about 30 lbs. a few months before finally getting pregnant with DD. My doctor told me that my hormones would most likely be straightened out after having DD and he was right. The sponge was not a reliable means of birth control and I got pregnant with DS in Oct. 1994.
Hang in there, if it's meant to be, it will happen.

Thank you very much...

My best friend and another friend are going away next weekend on a trip with their kids and they keep bugging me to go. They just don't understand! I felt very alone, until now. Thanks again

my dd on the other hand has chosen not to have children! due to one not ever feeling maternal and her dh was very abused as a child and never wanted even the chance he might pass that on! but my dd has recieved a lot of abuse by mohrs who think she is just selfish or mentally off for not wanting to have children! a former friend even broke up their relation ship over it!

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Always be a first rate version of your self instead of a second rate version of someone else.[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.

This was hard for me during the years of infertility I went thru. I HATED who I was because I was SO jealous of these people who just "looked" at their husbands and got pregnant or the young teenage girls who were popping them out right and left.

I longed to get pregnant those years that I couldn't. I did many fertility tests and took clomid, nothing worked for us. I gave up and FINALLY accepted that I'd have no more kids. I got pregnant in November 2001 and again in December 2005. My RE told me that I wouldn't get pregnant on my own since my cycle was so messed up. Well, God had other plans for me.

If I learned anything from those almost five years of infertility it was that it wasn't on MY time, but God's. It was hard for me to accept that, though.


Anyway, I'm sorry that so many of you long for children and haven't been able to have them. I hope that you all get your wish.

And, OP, I don't think you are being overly sensitive at all. Sometimes people just don't think before they speak (or send an email, etc).

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Amy
Mom to Lauren, Eryn, Naysa
and announcing......
Gavin Michael Chase, 9 lbs 10 ozs
and 21 3/4 inches long on 10/13/09!