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Old 05-14-2007, 11:14 AM
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Angry Spinoff: Would you leave YOUR kids (all under age 5) in a motel ALONE?

Okay, the McCann story has got me fuming as some of you may know. So, I am wondering the following:

Be honest: Would you leave THREE of YOUR children UNDER the age of 5 in a motel room ALONE so you and hubby could go OUT to eat?

*My answer is Heck NO! Under absolutely No Circumstances! AND not only would I not do it to MY children, I wouldn't do it to anyone else's either........
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Old 05-14-2007, 11:31 AM
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I think it was very Poor Judgment on the parents part to do that, But I was not there and don't know any of the events that took place. However, These parents are paying the WORSE price for their poor judgment. I don't feel anyone should have to pay this price for the lack of it. Very sad, and no matter what *we* would do or should have done, nothing will change the events for them and their missing baby girl.
I hate to add to their guilt by judging them when their world has been turn- flipped- ripped apart.
I see things all the time that *I* personally would not do myself.
Just yesterday while at the gas pumps a Lady left her children in the car while the car was running, he maybe 3-4 year old climb in the front seat and was playing with the wheel. I stood there just knowing at any moment he was going to put if in gear. The car was a late 80's model and doesn't have the safety newer cars have now where one has to mash the breaks to place in gear., The Mother returned and believe it or not, she slapped the boy and yelled at him for getting out from the backseat and climbing into the front , Me however, would have had his little self under a car seat. But thats non of my business and no mater what nothing I could have done would have changed this. If she allowed the child to be unbelted to be able to climb in the front this is a habit she does ALL the time not just while I saw it ( KWIM)..

Then again. I'm sure there's TONS and TONS of things ( mistakes) I have done that other saw that shook their heads and said She must be crazy to allow that....

I think these parents will TEACH others the value of not leaving Children unattended in rooms- cars- alone anywhere, Its just very very sad they will probably end up paying the heart break price for it.
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Old 05-14-2007, 12:09 PM
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No. I am very overprotective, and cannot understand the lack of judgment. I understand the difficulty in that. I do, however, know other parents who will leave their children asleep in a hotel room while they go to the restaurant in the lobby, or across the way. I don't understand it, and have expressed this to them. I also know many, many families who go on vacation and allow a complete stranger to watch their children while they go out. Many receive recommendations from the hotel, but in the end they are total strangers. One family does this every time they vacation with their 3 girls, oldest is 8, and so we decline their invitations to vacation with them. My children are older, but in a hotel we are very cautious.

I also have to tell you I am certain there are times others would judge me and find me lacking in my parenting. I have had a child lost at the mall. I have accidentally locked my baby in the car with my keys. I have lost track of one of my sons at the soccer field for several minutes. I have screwed up the scheduling for my 4 kids, and found that I am 20 minutes late picking a child up from a practice. My kids have had black eyes, knots on their heads, scratches, bruises and cuts. The list could go on and on. I have experienced that terror of those few moments when you are afraid some animal has taken that opportunity to harm your baby. And so I will not sit in judgment of these parents. My energy is spent praying for the baby upon whom the evil, sadistic animals we allow to walk our streets have preyed, and for a society that perpetuates child pornography, and a certain acceptance that these horrific things will continue. If this crap is available to every sick SOB that surfs the internet, it is certainly possible to put our money and our efforts into executing every person who is involved.
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Old 05-14-2007, 12:16 PM
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Never. I wouldn't even leave them to run and get ice at a hotel.
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Old 05-14-2007, 12:21 PM
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My kids are 10 & 13. Last summer we went to Hawaii for 2 weeks. The 1st day, DH had a business dinner and the other couple wanted to make it spouses included, no kids. We had 2 options - they were 9 & 12 last summer. One was to use hotel provided babysitting or pay for a movie and leave them there alone. We did neither. I was too nervous using a hotel employee I had no knowledge of and I was to uncomfortable leaving them there alone - even though I would have left a cell phone. He went by himself. I do let them get ice, but they're older. I just couldn't bring myselft to leave them in the hotel alone. I figured nothing would happen, but was worried about a fire alarm or something and knowing they'd panic & not know what to do.

Lisa
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Old 05-14-2007, 12:24 PM
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absolutely under no circumstances would I leave any child, let alone childrEN in a hotel room for any reason...let alone the stupid reason to go have dinner!

Get real.

I will leave my teen alone in a room to go get ice or whatever, but she is 16 and pretty trustworthy.

I read about that family online, and my immediate thought was: find the child and then take all the children away pending an abuse investigation.
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Old 05-14-2007, 12:28 PM
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I don't see the original thread anymore... was it deleted?
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Old 05-14-2007, 12:43 PM
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Heck no never in any way shape for form. It is our responsibility to watch them and protect them and if you can't do that you have no business being a parent. This really infuriates me to the core that some parents are so careless and think about themselfs and not the wellbeing of their children. If you want to go and take off whenever you want then hire a nanny or babysitter and leave them with them and go on vacation without them. I am sorry, but i blame these parents for why this child is missing and probably won't ever ever be found. This could have been prevented. Foolish parents.
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Old 05-14-2007, 12:55 PM
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Never. ~Lisa
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Old 05-14-2007, 12:59 PM
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Everyone knows a wrong decision was made in this situation.
So why are you beating this dead horse?
The parents can't go back and undo their decision. This will haunt them for the rest of their lives.

Why can't we just put these parents and their families in our thoughts and prayers?
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Old 05-14-2007, 01:28 PM
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Arrow Questions Answered

Quote:
Originally Posted by genichols View Post
Everyone knows a wrong decision was made in this situation.
So why are you beating this dead horse?
The parents can't go back and undo their decision. This will haunt them for the rest of their lives.

Why can't we just put these parents and their families in our thoughts and prayers?
Let me answer this for you.....
#1 Why am I beating a dead horse? BECAUSE attention needs to brought about and SHOW the stupidity of these parents! I, personally have NOT seen one comment, one story, one issue brought about regarding the NEGLIGENCE of these parents, only sympathy. While I do sympathize with the unknown of what happen to the daughter, I believe the blame needs to be placed in the right place. Let's use this for an example:

Mom & Dad are crackheads, they leave the kids in the motel room while they go out to score. One of the children turn up missing.....What is the reaction? Everyone is PO'd because the crackheads left them. Social services would pull the other 2 children out while an investigation is pending.........HOWEVER, because these parents are well off and the dad is a Doctor, NOT once has anyone mentioned the fact that THEY left these children in potential danger. A Double Standard!

Should they have been crackheads and not doctors, the 'sympathy' that everyone is pooring out to this family would be different and I for one will NOT give undue sympathy and that's my right to do so, JUST as it is other's rights to sympathize based on their feelings..... Thus I am beating a dead horse, because I feel it needs to be, and mostly because I don't like double standards. Not to be harsh towards you, but I wanted to answer your question truthfully.

#2 Why can't we just put these parents and their families in our thoughts and prayers? As I stated earlier, I DO hope and pray for a safe return of this child, so they are in heart, even though I think the parents are stupid. I want it to be known that it is NEVER safe to leave your children in a motel room EVEN for 30 minutes unattended ESPECIALLY if they are under 5 years old WHETHER you're a doctor or a crackhead. Part of my intention of expressing my opinion is to show that a double standard in this situation is NOT acceptable. So, if my opinion is only remembered by ONE person, then there's possibly ONE less child that is put in danger.

I will also ADD, that while I am by no means a Perfect Parent, I understand that mistakes happen, accidents occur, so and so on. I am also not rich by no means, but I am also not in poverty. I am no doctor, nor a crackhead. AND I acknowledge and also realize that I should not judge, but this entire situation SHOULD have and COULD have been prevented simply by using the common sense that God gave ya. One Article reads that SHE struggled for years to have children, blah, blah.....Forget about what she wanted.....What about the missing child. It's supposed to be about the situation, the child, what happened and what could've been done to prevent it and to prevent future occurances. This day and time it does not take alot of common sense to KNOW that you do NOT leave children under 5 alone under ANY circumstances. I am sure that they never dreamed this would happen, but dang! Use some common sense! And people and media need to stop catering to the double standard. I think anyone would agree with the example I stated. It is a double standard and it should not be ignored and I will not ignore it, even if it is veiwed as a beating a dead horse. *Not trying to start a fight about this, or be a smart a$$, but this story really riles me up and I will not throw a pity party for these people.....That being said, if my opinion upset you or anyone else, I couldn't help it, it is the way I feel and you have the right to feel the way you feel.....
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Old 05-14-2007, 01:55 PM
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Im sure its in CNN or USA Today. I havent read the whole story, but no. I wouldnt leave my 9 yr old alone in the house yet....

But to go out to eat...? No. Seems stupid IMO. I dont know all the reasons they did it though.

Jason
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Old 05-14-2007, 01:56 PM
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I haven't really read any of the news stories yet, but didn't this happen in another country?
They really do things differently in other countries, I know in some places people will leave babies/toddlers sleeping in strollers outside stores while they shop. Or outside restaurants while they eat.
I stopped judging people a long time ago.

ETA would I do it? no, but I was born and raised in the US. Now if I had been born and raised in another country where it is the norm to do so, I might.
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Old 05-14-2007, 02:22 PM
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it was in Portugal.granted you can say they do things differently over there (I'm from France!!!)an dI have been in Portugal many times,we've got our wallets,purses stolen in public transportation,my brother 's vacation rental's house was broken into while they slept(the thieves went thru the kid's bedroonm,and the kids never woke up.....

for the little girl,the kidnappers went thru her bedroom window.IMO,even if the parents would have been there,she would have disappeared.......
remember Polly Klass?
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Old 05-14-2007, 02:29 PM
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Never would I leave my children alone!!!! This dear little girl and her family are in my thoughts and prayers.
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Old 05-14-2007, 03:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mindi_d View Post
I haven't really read any of the news stories yet, but didn't this happen in another country?
They really do things differently in other countries, I know in some places people will leave babies/toddlers sleeping in strollers outside stores while they shop. Or outside restaurants while they eat.
I stopped judging people a long time ago.

ETA would I do it? no, but I was born and raised in the US. Now if I had been born and raised in another country where it is the norm to do so, I might.
I have either heard this somewhere or my hubby told me when he went overseas. He said that many people left baby strollers outside the restaurant while they were in there eating! I was shocked.

I have learned not to be shocked by peoples behavior anymore because the moment that I find someones actions shocking someone else comes along and does something even more stupid.


I think that these parents made a poor choice and they know it. Sadly, even if they get their daughter back right now, totally unharmed they are going to have to live with what they did. I dont feel punishing them or taking their other children away will do anything to them that they arent doing to themselves and IF they are the kind of parents they seem to be on the tv every day.... this is a mistake they will never repeat.

Darlene
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Old 05-14-2007, 03:32 PM
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I didnt answer the OP's question.

No, I would not leave my children in a hotel room alone at those ages. I have a 16 and almost 13 year old and have just left them for the first time. Hubby and I went downstairs for coffee and dessert. It turned out being a very short trip because I wasnt that comfortable leaving them. I even called them on the cell phone to check on them.


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Old 05-15-2007, 02:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mindi_d View Post
I haven't really read any of the news stories yet, but didn't this happen in another country?
They really do things differently in other countries, I know in some places people will leave babies/toddlers sleeping in strollers outside stores while they shop. Or outside restaurants while they eat.
I stopped judging people a long time ago.

ETA would I do it? no, but I was born and raised in the US. Now if I had been born and raised in another country where it is the norm to do so, I might.

This is what I was thinking too. I have heard in the past about different customs in other coutries about raising children, leaving them in strollers outside places, etc. I think the reason that they haven't been slammed in the press is due what is acceptable in their country/culture, not based on what is acceptable or legal to be doing here in the U.S.

Now, that being said, I wouldn't leave my child alone. He is 11, and I still keep a real close eye on him at all times. But, I honestly have no idea what my answer would be if I was raised in a different country/culture where it was not unusual to leave children unattended. So...I won't personally judge the parent harshly for their choice, even though I disagree with that choice.
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Old 05-15-2007, 04:19 PM
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under 5...no way! 12 or 13...it would depend on the child. I know when I was 12 we went to Hawaii and I babysat my brother (3 years younger) while my parents were at dinner one night. No big deal and I had done it before at home and that's the age of most babysitters around us. I do think it's neglectful to leave them like that. I haven't heard the story so I don't know all the details
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Old 05-15-2007, 04:19 PM
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Absolutely NOT!!!!!
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Old 05-15-2007, 06:15 PM
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No, I wouldn't have left my kids in a motel/hotel alone at that age, never.

I heard this morning that the interpreter for the family had been 'detained'. Seems as though he lived in the area with his mother.

It is a really sad story. I hope they find her alive.
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Old 05-15-2007, 06:25 PM
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I'd never leave them anywhere alone at that age. I too have not heard the story or read the news article but am getting the gyst of it from this thread.

I agree with 12 being a good age (depending on the child's maturity, etc.) for children to be left in charge. That is the age that I started babysitting.
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