My Mom just called and was upset about the card we bought her. I am not a mushy person and I never buy one of those " Mom you've always been there for me" or anything like that sort of card. Second of all because she hasn't, I have not lived with my MOm since I was about 7 and just don't feel that sort of connection.

SHe also complained that I didn't buy her anything and that I don't ever buy her anything. SHe asked what I bought other people in the family (grandma and MIL) and I don't buy them anything either, I buy cards and either bring dinner or have them over for dinner. My Mom liives in Maine btw, not close enough for that.

I don't know what to do or say to her. I honestly thought it was a nice card saying that a mother is there to kiss a boo boo, talk when you need it and give support which is what things are like with us and she has been doing lately and I thought I was sort of saying thank you for doing all of those thing. SHe took it in a totally different way, she is really upset with me.

I don't know what to do.



ETA What did your MOm buy for you on Mother's day?

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

I dont have any advice on how to make your mom feel better but I wanted you to know that I can really relate. I have a mom that I dont really feel right buying mushy cards for either. I either go for the funny cards or I dont get one at all.

This year, I asked her what she wanted. She said a bird house and that is exactly what she got. I gave up this year trying to figure out what she would want and surprising her because she was never happy. She seems to like it a lot better that I ask and so do I. It is less stress.

Darlene

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Sell crazy some place else, we are all stocked up here.

Nothing, and I'd say we have a pretty decent relationship.

I did send the free Oil of Olay sample that came in the mail over with my sister, who spent the weekend here... lol

She's never complained about any of my crappy gifts (though maybe the KitchenAid stand mixer a couple years ago sort of made up for it?)

a gold and turquoise bracelet, a fancy tephlon pan she wants, and 2 bottles of philosophy 3 in1 body wah

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rhapsody112@gmail.com

I gave my mom a long necklace she wanted and my DH moms each got a $10 Starbucks gift card

I haven't actually bought anything yet.....my mom spends her Mother's Day in Georgia with my sister....but she'll be back in NY tomorrow!!!!!

I made her a gift certificate, and I will treat her (and myself!) to a pedicure, lunch and shopping or going to the casino or whatever else she'd like to do. (my sister informed me that all she wants is to spend time with me so I thought a girls day out would be perfect)

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Friends are like butt cheeks.
Crap might separate them,
But they always come back together.

nada, zilch, zip....

lol...Actually I took her out to a movie-we saw Georgia Rule. It was pretty good, but a bit darker than I thought it would be. After that, I was going to take her out for dinner. PF Changs had a really long wait, so we went to California Pizza Kitchen. Went to order, and we were told they weren't serving pasta because they were too back up...So, since I was really in a pasta mood, I asked my mom if we could go somewhere else. When we told the waiter, he apologized and told us to enjoy our drinks on the house-before we could leave, he was back w/ two bowls of yummy soup, again on the house. After the soup, our tummys were pretty satisfied, so we left a $5 tip and then went out for ice cream. I got off cheap-lol...

I just don't know, I do know if she was here, we would have done at least something, brought her out for dinner or something, but since she's far away I just don't bother.

I did take a lot of time picking out the card that she hates, she'd have liked a .99 Happy Mother's Day card better I think.



I just don't know what else to do or say to her.

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"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

Something I have learned is not to take on other people's guilt, problems, or emotions. I think all you can do is tell her you sent the card with wonderful intentions of wishing her a Happy Mother's Day, and are sorry she is upset by the card, but, you honestly have no control over that. Don't let her guilt you into feeling bad, when you really shouldn't.

I don't send ANYONE a card that does not mean what it says. Yes, I used to send those, "oh, you're so great, the best this or that" , when I really wanted to just say, "you really piss me off half the time, and I wish I hadn't of spent the $2 on this card for you even!!!" but they aren't making those cards yet. I almost resent these "Hallmark" holidays, kwim??? DD asked me "Mom, when is kid's day???" I told her, "every day is kid's day".

I got my Mom a musical card, no gift. MIL x2 got nothing. That was DH's "job" and I think he took the day off. Either that, or he couldn't find one of those "you really piss me off" cards, either.

Don't beat yourself up over it, really. Just do what you feel is right in your heart, and remember, your children will learn from your examples.

HTH.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

I sent my mom and gm boxes of candy from Fannie Mae (sp?) a few weeks ago for MD because I thought I would be I would be with dh during that time but since I'm stuck here..uggg, I had ordered (thanks Emie79) the honeybaked ham deal and got them a turkey and a ham and I also got them some of the soaps from B&BW $4/$10... and my mom a funny card & my gm a serious card. They seemed to like everything

I sent my MIL, whom lives in WY a few lotions and soaps from B&BW and she loved them.

I did'nt get anything but I'm not a mom


Christine

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TLJ ~ Women United in Spirit

I sent my Mom and MIL flowers. They seemed to go over well.

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This space for rent

I got my mom a Vera Bradley purse with matching accessories!

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Kristie
mom to Tyler (11/94) & Joycie (3/99)
www.thegrandskofour.shutterfly.com

sorry about your mom. If *my* mom complained like that I wouldn't give her anything next year. You should NEVER expect a gift or a mushy card. They can be nice but they are NOT required. I gave my mom a card I made on the PC that was not mushy (although I do feel that way towards my mom). My brother and I took her out to dinner and shared the cost and I will pay for her to get a facial next time she goes. MIL I sent a card to her and DH called her. I mean, I only get cards and dinner out (which includes my mom) from my kids and hubby. I wouldn't expect a gift...how rude of your mom

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

Nothing. Well, a card. My mom isn't really into the holidays - I'm lucky if I get a card on my birthday!

I used to buy her something every year, but it got to be a hassle trying to find something. She will not give ideas (for Christmas either) and she is very hard to buy for. It became something I dreaded, so with no malice intended, I purged that stress from my life. I send her a card every year but no longer get her a gift (for Mother's Day, birthday or anniversary). I do buy her something for Christmas, though. We also have a decent relationship.

Lisa

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"It's not having what you want,
It's wanting what you've got"

MIL is always complaining about how broke she is. So for her birthday and Mothers Day we always paypal her $20.

My mom got something she asked for : A hanging male torso for her ebay auctions (she sells a lot of clothes).

I had to go shopping yesterday and brought my son. I lead him to the My Little Pony's and told him to pick out one for me for Mothers Day (we don't really celebrate it). He picked out "the best one for the best mom" which I thought was adorable. And I put it with my collection.


I didn't get anything from my mom or my MIL.

I sent her a "Pajamagram" - cute PJs with Queen Mother on the front. They arrived on Friday and she loved them, thought they were the best present ever! Well, on Mother's Day we talked and she said she was just going to lounge around the house in her PJs and do nothing. I asked her if she was enjoyed her new PJs and she said she forgot to put them on. Oh well.

My mom got a card my bf picked out.And a handful of free bowling passes compliments of Big Lots and Pepboys,and a restaurant.com giftcertificate.

DH got me one of those for Valantine's day and I loved it, your mom will enjoy it, that was a sweet gift

Christine

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TLJ ~ Women United in Spirit

My brother's family and mine went in on a Mother's Day/birthday gift for her. She really wanted a mother's ring so she's getting that (it's on order).

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I've never lied to you. I've always told you some version the of truth.

My sister and I went 1/2 on a cute wooden wheelbarrow for the yard that was Amish made. Very nice and my mother loved it. I did mention to my sister that when I went over to steal a rake from my father's garden shed, I saw that she had a little bigger one up in storage but my mom is wonderful and loved it. My neice is 16 months old and we had wanted to have her 5 year od sister wheel the baby into my mother and present it but the baby was sick so it was still a huge hit, just not as cute!!!

I sent my mom a keepsake box from Shutterfly with my DD's picture on it. She loved it but it didn't get there until today because the PO lost it!

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"Let me watch my children grow to see what they become
Lord don't let that cold wind blow til I'm too old to die young'

I gave my mother a Longaberger gift card, and I gave my step-mom a gift card to her favorite store.

Holly

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Forgiveness is love in its most noble form. -Anonymous